Clayton Bigsby

Clayton Bigsby · Frontline Camera Crew:Clayton Bigsby is revealed to be black and blind — visually appearing to the camera crew before he speaks

Clayton Bigsby:'What, you don't think I can write them books? Just 'cause I'm blind don't mean I'm dumb.'

Clayton Bigsby:Clayton: 'I've written six books, they've published four.' — correcting the narrator's count of four books

Clayton Bigsby:Clayton's catalog of racist grievances delivered as thesis: lazy, crack-smoking, 'wide nose breathin' all the white man's air,' 'they eat up all the chicken, they think they're the best dancers, and they stink!'

Clayton Bigsby:Clayton recounts Jasper's story about someone coming to date his sister: 'He said, look here, nigger, that there's my girl. Anyone have sex with my sister, it's gonna be me!'

Clayton Bigsby:Clayton's response to being told he might be African-American: 'Sir! Listen, I'm gonna make this clear. I am in no way, shape, or form involved in any niggerdom, you understand?!'

Clayton Bigsby · Jasper · White Racists:Clayton's car is stopped by white racists who shout racial slurs at him — then Clayton joyfully says 'Oh, Jasper, there's a nigger around here. That damn monkey was beatin' my hood!'

Clayton Bigsby:Clayton drives past Black men playing hip-hop: 'Hey, why don't you jungle bunnies turn that music down?!' / 'Nigras make me sick! / Woogie-boogie, nigger! Woogie-boogie!'

Jasper · Clayton Bigsby:Jasper tells Clayton to wear his KKK hood 'in case some radical ain't sympathetic to the cause and wants to shoot you' — and Clayton agrees this is 'good thinking'

Clayton Bigsby:'America's at war with Al Qaeda, but we're still losing the war against Al Sharpton!'

Clayton Bigsby:Clayton's Chinese impression: 'ching chang chong talk. I can't understand you, go back to your country.'

Clayton Bigsby:'Don't let the liberal media tell you how to think and feel. If you have hate in your heart, let it out.'

Clayton Bigsby:'If you don't like Will & Grace, that don't mean there's something wrong with you. It means there's something wrong with Will! He's a homosexual.'

Clayton Bigsby:'Colin Powell... Cunnilingus Rice. Cunnilingus Rice sounds like a Mexican dish, maybe we should put her on a plate and send her to Mexico so the Mexicans will eat her.'

Clayton Bigsby · White Supremacist Crowd:Clayton removes his hood — the white supremacist crowd sees a Black man standing before them. Silence, then chaos.

Clayton Bigsby:After the reveal chaos, Clayton rallies: 'There is cookie and punch for us to enjoy, and we can meet, talk about white brotherhood.'

Frontline Host (Narrator) · Clayton Bigsby:Narrator closes: Bigsby 'accepted the fact that he is a black man. And three days ago, he filed for divorce from his wife.' / 'When we asked why?' / 'Because she's a nigger lover.'

Clayton Bigsby:Clayton cameo out of nowhere after the credits: 'White power! That's right, I hate niggers, but I love skateboards. Bye, niggers, bye-bye!'