Wayne Brady

Wayne Brady:The entire premise: Wayne Brady walking out to replace Dave Chappelle on his own show, with a new theme song ('Brady Show, not Dave's show, not no mo')

Wayne Brady:NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN TO BE ABLE TO TAKE ANOTHER BLACK ACTOR'S JOB.

Wayne Brady:I'M GONNA GIVE MY FLOWERS TO YOU, SIR — BUT NOT IN THAT WAY, DUDE.

Dave Chappelle · Wayne Brady:Wayne Brady reveals it really IS his show; when Dave asks 'can I do this?' Wayne says yes — Dave immediately strips his shirt off and the crowd goes wild

Wayne Brady:Wayne Brady suddenly pulls out a gun and pistol-whips a random person on the street, screaming 'RIVERSIDE, MOTHAFUCKA!'

Wayne Brady:DAVE, YOU MAKIN' ME NERVOUS. YOU'RE MAKIN' ME THINK THAT YOU GONNA SNITCH. NOW, YOU'RE NOT GONNA SNITCH, RIGHT?

Wayne Brady · Dave Chappelle:HEY, DADDY. / HOES, DAVE. DAVE, HOES. / GOOD EVENING, BITCHES.

Wayne Brady:IS WAYNE BRADY GONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?

Wayne Brady:Wayne's prostitute comes back with less money than expected. Wayne, barely controlling himself: 'Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?'

Wayne Brady · Prostitute · Dave Chappelle:YOU BETTER THANK DAVE CHAPPELLE. / THANK YOU, DAVE, AND I LIKE YOUR SHOW. / RUN, BITCH, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Wayne Brady:THIS IS NOT AN OPTION, NIGGA. IF YOU DO NOT SMOKE THIS, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

Wayne Brady:Wayne: 'Ain't no damn after-school special. Smoke it.'

Wayne Brady · Dave Chappelle:DAVE, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU LIKED TO GET WET. / WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'WET'? / YEAH, BROTHER, THAT'S P.C.P., ANGEL DUST, SHERMAN HEMSLEY, 'LOVE BOAT'...

Dave Chappelle · Wayne Brady:Dave is clearly hallucinating on PCP while being driven by Wayne Brady — the reaction beat of his visible confusion vs. Wayne's calm driving

Wayne Brady · Police Officer:A cop pulls them over and immediately recognizes Wayne Brady; the cop is starstruck and asks for his mother-in-law

Wayne Brady:Wayne Brady serenades the police officer with a medley ('SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU... I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU') to get out of any trouble

Wayne Brady:THAT'S 'CAUSE SHE IS NEVER GONNA KNOW ABOUT IT, BITCH.

Dave Chappelle · Wayne Brady:WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!! / IT'S NOT MY THING, MAN, IT'S NOT MY THING. I'M SORRY. WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M NOT SORRY. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

Wayne Brady:GIVE ME YOUR SANDWICH. / I SAID, GIVE ME YOUR DAMN SANDWICH.

Wayne Brady · Dave Chappelle:Wayne offers Dave a sandwich. Dave: 'I just wanna go home.' Wayne: 'Eat your sandwich, Dave.'

Wayne Brady:I MAKE BRYANT GUMBEL LOOK LIKE MALCOLM X, HUH, MOTHERFUCKER?

Wayne Brady · Dave Chappelle:Wayne drops Dave off. They have a warm goodbye moment: 'Black actors, man. Black actors. All right. All right.' — then Wayne jumps Dave: 'AAAH! I'M WAYNE BRADY, BITCH!'

Wayne Brady:Wayne takes over the outro: 'WE'RE GONNA TAKE A QUICK COMMERCIAL BREAK... MORE CHAPPELLE SHOW RIGHT AFTER THIS.' — then immediately: 'AAHH!' and theme song to 'THE GREATEST SHOW.'

Wayne Brady:Wayne Brady outro: explains Paul Mooney's Bryant Gumbel joke inspired the episode; says 'no one calls each other in show business because they're all too arrogant. He calls me.' — describing Chappelle's personal call as exceptional