The Wayne Brady Show

Dave:MR. HANKY MAKES MORE THAN ME.

Dave:HEH-HEH, REPLACEABLE? YOU GONNA REPLACE ME? DAVE CHAPPELLE OF CHAPPELLE'S SHOW? I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT.

Singers:♪ BRADY SHOW THE BRADY SHOW ♪ ♪ NOT DAVE'S SHOW ♪ ♪ NOT NO MO' ♪

Wayne Brady:AND NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN TO BE ABLE TO TAKE ANOTHER BLACK ACTOR'S JOB.

Wayne Brady:BUT NOT IN THAT WAY, DUDE.

Tyrone Biggums:HI, I'M TYRONE BIGGUMS. I HEARD THAT I COULD WIN A LOT OF MONEY AND I GET A PIG-TESTICLE DINNER WITH ALL THE FIXINS. GOTTA PLAY TO WIN!

Rita:ONE OF THEM TRIED TO CRAWL IN MY MOUTH!

Tyrone Biggums:LEMME JUST HELP YOU OUT, GET SOME ON HIM. THERE YOU GO. LOOK AT 'EM SPREADIN', THEY SPREADIN'.

Tyrone Biggums:I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT ME, JOE ROGAN, THAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW. I SMOKE ROCKS.

Tyrone Biggums:JOE ROGAN, IF IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU, I'D LIKE TO FINISH READIN' MY NEWSPAPER. I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO SIT STILL AND READ FOR SO LONG.

Tyrone Biggums:YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE A NAP. GO AHEAD WITHOUT ME, I'LL CATCH UP.

Tyrone Biggums:HEY, JOE ROGAN, IS IT ALMOST LUNCHTIME? 'CAUSE I SMELL SOMEBODY COOKIN'. SMELLS LIKE... CAJUN STEAKS WITH CATFISH AND FRIED PEPPERS.

Tyrone Biggums:HURRY UP, GIRL, I WANNA DO MY TURN. GRAB THAT PENIS. SUCK THEM JUICES OFF, SUCK IT!

Tyrone Biggums:YOU KNOW, JOE ROGAN, THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME I'VE TASTED PENIS. I'VE HAD SEVERAL IN MY LINE OF WORK.

Tyrone Biggums:COCAINE IS A HELL OF A DRUG.

Tyrone Biggums:TYRITA, I DID IT! I WON! COME DOWN ON THESE PENISES WITH ME.

Tyrone Biggums:AND GIVE YOU THAT ROCK YOU ALWAYS HAD YOUR EYE ON.

Tyrita · Tyrone Biggums:OH, TYRONE, THIS'LL GET US HIGH FOR... HOURS, I KNOW. BUT FIRST, MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?

Big Boi:DAVE, I'M IN THE OPERATING ROOM, UM, GETTIN' BACK SURGERY. WHERE'S THE ANESTHESIA? STOP.

Big Boi:WE PLAYIN' ON THE MOON, BITCH. PEACE, DON'T CALL ME NO MORE.

Dave's son · Dave:I TOLD YOU NICK CANNON IS HILARIOUS, SO I'M DONE WITH YOU, DAD. I'M HILARIOUS TOO, REMEMBER ME? 'I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!' REMEMBER ME?

Nick Cannon:SHOULDN'TA GAVE UP YOUR SHOW, DAWG.

Dave:IF IT'S MY SHOW, CAN I DO THIS? WHOO!

Wayne Brady:BACK YO'SELF, FOOL! AWW, SHIT, IT'S WAYNE BRADY, SON! RIVERSIDE, MOTHAFUCKA!

Dave:GODDAMN, MAN, YOU GOT A DAYTIME EMMY, NIGGA. YOU AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DOIN' SHIT LIKE THIS.

Wayne Brady:HOES, DAVE. DAVE, HOES. GOOD EVENING, BITCHES.

Wayne Brady:IS WAYNE BRADY GONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?

Dave:I CAN'T TAKE THIS MONEY, MAN, THIS MONEY AIN'T CLEAN, MAN.

Wayne Brady:THIS IS NOT AN OPTION, NIGGA. IF YOU DO NOT SMOKE THIS, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. AIN'T NO DAMN AFTER-SCHOOL SPECIAL. SMOKE IT.

Wayne Brady:YEAH, BROTHER, THAT'S P.C.P., ANGEL DUST, SHERMAN HEMSLEY, 'LOVE BOAT'...

Ashy Larry:WHITE PEOPLE LOVE WAYNE BRADY BECAUSE HE MAKES BRYANT GUMBEL LOOK LIKE MALCOLM X.

Wayne Brady:♪ THE MORNING I WAKE UP ♪ ♪ AND I PUT ON MY MAKE UP ♪ ♪ I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU ♪

Wayne Brady:THAT'S 'CAUSE SHE IS NEVER GONNA KNOW ABOUT IT, BITCH.

Wayne Brady:I MAKE BRYANT GUMBEL LOOK LIKE MALCOLM X, HUH, MOTHERFUCKER?

Wayne Brady:I'M WAYNE BRADY, BITCH!

Wayne Brady:I'M RICH, BIATCH!

Wayne Brady:I'M RICH, BIATCH!

Wayne Brady:I CANCELLED THREE OF MY SHOWS TO COME AND DO THIS BECAUSE THAT MEANT SO MUCH.