True Hollywood Stories: Rick James

Male narrator · Female partner:Love Contract commercial concept - formal sexual consent document

Male narrator:Just sign here and here... and initial there, for oral

Male narrator:And just initial there, if you decline anal

Narrator:From the makers of The Love Contract comes: The Confidentiality Agreement

Male narrator:Or I'll sue your ass... Kobe!

Narrator:Available at all Wall-Barts

Charlie Murphy:I seen, like... like a orange... his aura or whatever, I seen it, it was orange

Rick James:I'm one of the baddest motherfuckers of all time. I'm one of the best singers and one of the best-lookin' motherfuckers you've ever seen

Rick James:Hold my drink, bitch

Rick James:I'm Rick James, bitch

Charlie Murphy:Habitually... he's a habitual line-stepper

Rick James · Charlie Murphy:Charlie Murphy! [SLAP] That was, cold-blooded...

Charlie Murphy · Rick James:Unity... [ring imprint description]

Rick James:This is a celebration, bitch

Rick James:Now, Darkness, the tables are turned

Rick James:Bitch, come over here and have sex with Charlie Murphy

Rick James:Yeah, Charlie whipped my ass in his dreams

Rick James:Cocaine is a hell of a drug

Rick James:Nice place, nigga

Rick James:Because Eddie could buy another one. Fuck your couch, nigga. Buy another one, you rich motherfucker

Charlie Murphy:Darknesses, Darknesses... 'cause of my complexion he used to call me 'Darkness'

Charlie Murphy:See, this is long before Wesley Snipes. Back then, we was the blackest niggas on the planet according to Rick James

Rick James:See, I never just did things just to do them... Yeah, I remember grinding my feet on Eddie's couch [rewind and repeat]

Rick James:you black, midnight evil motherfucker! Black magic, Darkness! You're all Darkness!

Rick James:Fuck yo couch, nigga. [while being carried out with limp legs]

Rick James:They shoulda never gave you niggas money! You don't know how to appreciate shit!

Charlie Murphy:yo, we just gave him some help. Bust his fuckin' ass and shit

Charlie Murphy:wow, that's O.J. Simpson! He has a big fuckin' head, man

Rick James:Come on, baby, show me your titties I'm Rick James, do something!

Rick James:I wish I had more hands. So I could give those titties four thumbs down

Rick James:What did the five fingers say to the face? [pause] Slap!

Charlie Murphy:First of all, you don't slap a man

Rick James:That was weeks ago, motherfucker I was partying!

Rick James:[Second] Cocaine's a hell of a drug

Rick James:Cocaine's a hell of a drug.

Rick James:Show Charlie Murphy your titties. I'm Rick James. The milk's gone bad!

Charlie Murphy:Can you imagine two grown men doing this?

Rick James:Charlie used my name to pick up girls