Jen Ivinicii

Jen:Jen turns the tables on Leslie's fake apology plan by having the media there — 'You were going to use us, and we just turned the tables on you. 'Cause I'm smarter and faster. That is not a judgment. That's just a fact.'

Jen · Chris:Jen propositions Chris at the Newport house: 'You know, there are 30 bedrooms in this house. Bobby's in one, there's a dead guy in another, the rest are free. What do you say?'

Chris · Jen:Chris: 'Oh! That is very flattering. But you're the opposition campaign manager. I--I couldn't do that to Leslie.' / Jen: 'Oh, for God's sake, Chris. This campaign is over. My job is done and so is yours. It's just sex. I'm very good at it.' / Chris: '...Okay.' / Jen: 'Great! Let's do it. Haven't got all day, honey.'

Ben · Jen:Every intern is connected: 'Ellis is Congressman Murray's nephew. Nathaniel is related to Donald Rumsfeld. Brittany's dad is Ben Bernanke's dentist.'

Jen:You guys live in Pawnee, Indiana. Where do you have to go? Putting up a new scarecrow?

Jen:We're talking about the House of Representatives, Ben. You might be overqualified.

Jen · Leslie:All those kids keep you up all night? — I'm so happy with my choices.

Ben · Jen:I know I left you a message last night, but I really do think you should have checked with me before throwing me into this. — No, Ben, I'm sorry, you left me four messages last night.

Jen:Oh, you guys are gonna fit in so great in Washington. Most of Congress is drunk, all of the time.

Jen:I'm just gonna go spend my time doing exactly what I want to do, because I don't have children. Bye, guys.

Jen · Leslie:Why are you wearing a poncho? Oh, because every surface area in your house is sticky. Last time I was here, I found a melted crayon on my blazer.

Jen · Leslie · Ben:Looks like we're gonna have to skip the pie baking event and the ceremonial squash toss. Oh, really? We have to skip that? I love watching those squashes fly through the air. I kind of like the way they land.

Ben · Leslie · Jen:Ben is confused — he says 'I was talking to Leslie' and Leslie says 'Me, Leslie? Yeah.'

Jen:If you were just a ding-dong, I would just slap a flag pin on you, and pour some Valium down your throat. Everything would be fine. It's the smarties that freak people out.

Leslie · Jen:I think you're underestimating the voters. I don't think that is possible.

Jen:You know, why don't you think of it like sex freshman year of college? You just want to get through it as fast as possible without embarrassing yourself.

Jen:I'm using that as an analogy to help you out because I'm assuming you were a late bloomer. Not me. I crushed it from day one.

Jen:Oof. You really stepped in it this time, Knope. Told ya. Being a candidate's wife is a tough gig.

Jen:Because June Hartwell is a lukewarm bowl of nothing. She started an awareness campaign called 'Bring a Sweater.' She calls it 'goose bump prevention.'

Jen:Just ignore the fact that you're right, put on your blandest outfit... So that one, hopefully, and then just go out there and publicly apologize. Done.

Jen:It's like taking a shot of tequila. You just gotta force it down, suddenly the world feels so much more pleasant. I do three shots every time I have to enter this house.

Jen · Ben:I'd say that's fifty-fifty boos and cheers. Yeah. That seems about right.