The Busboy

I'm not a foodie. I don't... 'Oh, this is too rare.' 'Oh, it's too salty.' Just eat it and shut up.

I have eaten rolls off of room-service trays in hotel hallways. I have. That's not a joke. This is my life.

Why would somebody poison a roll and leave it in the hallway for some comic coming down at 2:00 in the morning?

What is this, the story of the bill? 'Once upon a time, there were some very hungry people...'

A little gold tassel hanging down... Am I graduating from the restaurant?

Everybody likes pesto. You walk into a restaurant, that's all you hear. Pesto. Pesto. Pesto.

Where was pesto 10 years ago?

Anytime you see a guy that age wearing a baseball cap, ten to one-- plugs.

It's like waiting in the shower for the conditioner to work.

It's the pesto of cities.

We, uh, shared an interpersonal experience.

the Benes tattoo does not wash off so easily

That ought to get us a free dessert.

He'll probably kill his family over this.

A lot of ex-cons become busboys. They seem to gravitate toward it.

It's not a profession where you embellish your resume and undergo a series of grueling interviews.

It was a fat camp! Those kids depended on me.

He could be one of those people that walks around the street pricking people with pins.

I am one clever chickadee.

Does the word charm mean anything to you? No.

Maybe the fat camp.

Take the K-man, a little support.

try not to say too much.

Well, I'm not an idiot. Certainly not. Then we're cool. Y-- Yeah. Yeah, w-w-we're cool.

Habla espanol? Oh, my God. Si. Como se dice... waterbed?

You got anything to drink? Agua.

His cat's gone.

You know, my aunt, she had a cat, ran away, showed up three years later. You never know.

Unless, of course, somebody else starts feeding her. See, that's what you got to worry about.

The lamp. There's wire sticking out.

So the last person in should close the door. Let me talk to him. Call-- Call him from your house.

if I don't get this guy on a plane to Seattle, and out of my life, I'm going to kill him and anyone who tries to stop me.

He's a wonderful guy, but I hate his guts.

I told him I've been having my period the last five days.

If you oversleep more than 10 minutes, a hand comes out and slaps you in the face.

We do have a cannon leaving in about 10 minutes. Think you'd be interested in that?

Make sure you get out of the net immediately, because we shoot the luggage in right after you.

Well, I gotta shower. I'll feel dirty all day.

Got a bag of cashews in there.

Shoes weren't invented until the 4th century. People walked around for thousands of years without them!

54th and 6th. Sperry Rand Building, 14th floor, Morgan Apparel. Mention my name, she'll give you the key.

Lincoln Center, Alice Tully Hall, the Met. Magnificent facilities.

I knew I was challenging the very laws of physics.

They say no one's ever beaten the Van Wyck... but, gentlemen, I tell you this: I came as close as anyone ever has

that numbskull... would be on a plane for Seattle right now... instead of looking for a parking space downstairs.

A gas main beneath the restaurant exploded, killing five people in my section, Including the busboy who replaced me.

You saved my life!

Paquita, perhaps frightened from the explosion, had miraculously returned.

Hey, why don't you watch where you're going, okay? Because you bumped into me. Who do you think you're talking to, pal?

It was that fall down the stairs, that's what did it. That's not how it happened. It's when he fell on him with his knee.

Till he goes back to Seattle, or till he can feed himself?

People have fistfights in life. And I can't really believe we have boxing, either.

Why don't they have the boxers come into the ring in little cars, drive around a little bit, have a little accident, they get out-- 'Did you see my signal? Look at that fender!' Then you'd see a real fight.