Eddie

Was that the oven timer? / That's right, my friend. / It's time for Baywatch! / Baywatch!

Can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer? / I can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.

Did she leave a number? / Did you see me write one down? / I don't have her number, butt-munch.

Is that Joey guy gonna pick up his moose hat or should I toss it?

When'd you start using moose in your hair?

You like that show? / You don't? / Ha, ha, what...? No. I mean, it's just pretty people running around on the beach.

Oh, no! I have to go, because I'm late for... ...my Green Eggs and Ham discussion group.

Tonight, it's 'Why he would not eat them on a train.'

She actually thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.

My last girlfriend, Tilly. We're eating breakfast, right? I made these pancakes. Like, 50 pancakes.

It was literally like she had reached into my chest... ...ripped out my heart and smeared it all over my life!

There was this incredible abyss and I'm falling. I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop!

You had sex with her.

You sleep with my ex-girlfriend, insult my intelligence by lying... ...then you kill my fish? My Buddy?

Are these raisins? Sure, why not?

I got a little surprise. Look. There's a new fishy. I named him... ...Chandler, you know, after you.

So what's your point, man?

What are you doing here? - Watching you sleep.

It makes me feel, um, peaceful.

What about the other nights when you don't see me, huh?

Last night you went and got some water... and I was nice enough to hide behind the door.

Your last roommate's kidney? That's a tomato.

We'll make it a chip chick.

We took a road trip to Las Vegas! Oh, sweet Moses!

I guess I got the wrong apartment.