The Revenge

What is he worried about? I mean, what is this man's reputation... that he has to worry about this kind of exposure... damaging his good name?

I mean, what is he, up for a big job promotion... down at the office or something? Afraid the boss is gonna catch this on TV and go: 'Isn't that Johnson from sales?'

He's up in that clock tower, picking people off one by one. I don't know if that's the kind of man... we want heading up that new branch office. He should be in bill collection. I think he's got aptitude.

Get this, I got it all on video.

That's it. This is it. I'm done! Through! It's over! I'm gone! Finished! Over! I will never work for you again! Look at you. You think you're an important man? You are a laughingstock. You are a joke. These people are laughing at you! You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing!

Well, what did you say? - I said, 'Jump.'

If you're gonna kill yourself, do it already and stop bothering me.

At least I'd respect the guy for accomplishing something.

What am I supposed to tell him? How much there is for him to live for? Why should I lie to him?

My guys don't know your guys.

They'll start a riot.

Have you ever met my guys? - No, I can't say as I have. - Well...

I would prefer it if the machines are not even touching each other... because something could, you know, jump across.

You and your toilets.

You know, like the general manager of a baseball team.

You know how I always make... interesting comments during the game?

Well, that's really not fair.

Those unions.

Someone said once I'd be a good talk show host. - Really? - Yeah, a couple of people.

You can't walk into a building and say, 'I want to be a talk show host.'

Pretend like it never happened.

People don't take you seriously.

Morning, Bill. Morning, Bob. How you doing? Fine. Ten minutes later, you see them in the hall, 'How you doing?' Every time you pass, you've gotta come up with another greeting.

You start coming up with nicknames for them. 'Jimbo.'

What quit? Who quit?

Went up to the Cape. Took the kids sailing. Lisa was a little scared at first... but that kid's gonna be a good sailor someday. She's gonna be a fine sailor.

I got tied up. - I'll bet you did.

Are you kidding? I didn't quit. Why, you took that seriously?

'Laughingstock,' all that stuff... 'No brains, no ability'? - Teasing.

I wouldn't say all the time.

You can't win. You can't beat me. That's why I'm here, and you're there. Because I'm a winner. I'll always be a winner... and you'll always be a loser.

I'm gonna slip him a Mickey.

What are you, Peter Lorre?

It's like a movie. I'm gonna slip him a Mickey.

You got a Mickey source?

The best revenge is living well. - There's no chance of that.

He jumped. - Newman jumped.

I said, 'Wave to me when you pass my window.'

He jumped from the second floor.

He's lying out there faking. See, he's trying to get back at me.

This place is my country... and I'm the president, and that's my Constitution.

You are like the James Bond of laundry.

The one that looks like a blowfish.

We're just gonna put a little concrete in the washing machine.

You're like Lex Luthor.

Really, I mean that. I am not one of those people... who gives insincere thank-yous. No, sir. No, sir. When I thank somebody, I really thank them. So thank you.

So I'm going to a nudist colony next week.

I usually work naked a couple hours a day.

Who are you? - Oh, you don't want to know, mister. I'm trouble. Big trouble.

I'm gonna count to three. If you don't give up the chair... the wig is coming off. - I don't wear a wig. - One...

I just like to have a few drinks... and then just let the guy do whatever he wants.

Would you close your eyes a second? I want to tell you a secret about my bra.

You wouldn't believe it if I told you. In fact, I'm glad you're here, you know. Maybe I've been a little rough on you.

How you blew that McConnell deal, I'll never know... but, hey, what the hell, huh?

I told you not to mix in our guys.

People like the idea of revenge. You ever hear the expression: 'The best revenge is living well'?

You think you could go up to him: 'Charlie, forget the .357. You need a custom-made suit and a convertible... new carpeting, French doors, a divan. That'll show those punks.'