Character Analysis
Alton Benes
Played by Lawrence Tierney
12 jokes across 1 episodes of Seinfeld
1.9
12
6.4
6.7
Cringe/Discomfort
Alton delivers 12 scored jokes across 1 episodes of Seinfeld, averaging 6.4 on craft and 6.7 on impact for a career WAR of 1.9. Their comedy leans toward cringe/discomfort. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Alton Lines
We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tail gunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. There's nothing funny about that.
I thought it was just brilliant. - Drivel. - Yeah, maybe some parts. - What parts? - The... drivel parts.
Pipe down, chorus boy.
What the hell do you call this? - I turned my jacket inside out. - Well, you look like a damn fool.
Yeah, they should have taken care of Castro when they had the chance. Like we did in Guatemala in '53.
All Jokes — 12 total
Like it? Don't you find that you get more without it?
Who said? - The weather guy, Dr. Waldo.
I don't need anybody to tell me it's gonna rain. Oh, no. Of course not. All I have to do is stick my head out the window.
Which one's supposed to be the funny guy? - Oh, he's the comedian. - I'm just a regular person.
We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tail gunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. There's nothing funny about that.
I thought it was just brilliant. - Drivel. - Yeah, maybe some parts. - What parts? - The... drivel parts.
What kind of an operation? - Bone marrow.
Yeah, they should have taken care of Castro when they had the chance. Like we did in Guatemala in '53.
Well, Guatemala... - Sure. Guatemala.
Pipe down, chorus boy.
What the hell do you call this? - I turned my jacket inside out. - Well, you look like a damn fool.
Well, you're not walking with me and my daughter dressed like that. That's for damn sure.