Cynthia

Is Jerry a good one? That's a good question. I think he thinks he is.

Maybe you need somebody between good and mediocre.

Oh, so there's still hope.

So hopelessness is the key. It's my only hope.

He tried to poison his boss. Excuse me? It's such a long story. Seriously, he just had some problems at work.

What does he look like? Well, he's got a lot of character in his face. He's short. Um, he's stocky. He's fat. Is that what you're saying, that he's fat? Powerful.

He's bald? No. No, no, no. He's not bald. He's balding. So he will be bald? Yeah.

Thick, lustrous hair is important to me.

'Thick, lustrous hair is important to me.' Is that what you said? Right. Just clarifying.

If you stick your hand in the hair, is it easy to get it out? Do you want to get it out? Or do you want to not be able to get it out? I'd like to be able to get it out. I think you'll get it out.

What about the skin? I need a good cheek. I like a good cheek. She's got a fine cheek. Is there a pinkish hue? Yes, a rosy glow. There's a hue.

Who cares about eyebrows?

Is she sweet? I like sweet. But not too sweet. You could throw up from that. I don't think you'll throw up. She likes to throw up.

Has he been close? He once spent a weekend with a woman.

He was uncomfortable because it was our first time. So he felt he'd perform better if we did it in the kitchen. What? He says the kitchen is the most sociable room in the house. And he was serious.

So how was it? How good could it be? My head was on a hot plate.

Don't worry. If anything was wrong, she'd have called you. I missed my period. Oh, my God! I am very worried. I am never late.

But he used a condom, right? I know, but these things aren't always foolproof. Oh, no. What? Was it blue? Yeah. How'd you know? Just a hunch.

So he shows up. He's all out of breath. He's disheveled. And tells me that whatever happens, whatever I decide is fine with him and I could depend on him and that he'd support me in whatever way I need.

Elaine, I was speechless. Wow. Wow. You see? You think you know somebody. I said to him, 'I really appreciate this, but I just got my period.'

Kenny Bania.