Character Analysis
Rachel Goldstein
Played by Melanie Smith
6 jokes across 2 episodes of Seinfeld
1.2
6
6.7
6.6
Cringe/Discomfort
Rachel delivers 6 scored jokes across 2 episodes of Seinfeld, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.6 on impact for a career WAR of 1.2. Their comedy leans toward cringe/discomfort. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Rachel Lines
Kramer · Rachel:Kramer slips lobster into Rachel's eggs. She eats them. Realization: 'There's lobster in these eggs?' / Kramer: 'Not that much. They shrink in the water.'
Jerry · Rachel:Didn't three hours go by like that? Like that. What about the end, with the list? Yeah, that was some list. What'd you think of the black and white? The black and white? The whole movie was in black and white. Oh, yeah, I didn't even realise.
Kramer · Rachel · Jerry:And you eat eggs, don't you? / Yes, I do. / All right. / Thank you. / These are delicious. Where did you learn to make eggs like this? / These are so good. / Aw. Enjoying them? / Mm-hm. / Oh, good. / You know, you might wanna try eating it with one of these. / There's lobster in these eggs? / Not that much. They shrink in the water.
Rachel · Kramer:Why not? / Well, now, it wouldn't be kosher. / Come on, Kramer. I really wanna try it. / No, I'm sorry, honey. Not on my watch.
George · Jerry · Rachel:Oh, sorry. Don't you knock? / I'm sorry. Uh... It's not like I'll see something I've never seen before. You might have. / I didn't. You won't.
All Jokes — 13 total
Jerry · Rachel:Jerry and Rachel desperately trying to find a private moment: they count down to Thursday at 3:00 when the parents leave
Jerry · Rachel · Morty · Helen:Jerry's parents walk in on Jerry and Rachel. Mortified scrambling. Morty suggests they 'drive around for a while' — they don't have a car. 'We'll take a bus.' Jerry: 'Come on. Stop.' Eventually: 'We'll go see Schindler's List, right?' 'Definitely.'
Jerry · Rachel:Didn't three hours go by like that? Like that. What about the end, with the list? Yeah, that was some list. What'd you think of the black and white? The black and white? The whole movie was in black and white. Oh, yeah, I didn't even realise.
George · Jerry · Rachel:Oh, sorry. Don't you knock? / I'm sorry. Uh... It's not like I'll see something I've never seen before. You might have. / I didn't. You won't.
George · Jerry · Rachel:No, I was just wondering if you guys, uh... had any gum. / Oh! / So you were swimming in the pool, and you wanted some gum. / Yes. Because the water was cold, and the, uh, chewing warms me up.
Rachel · Jerry:Strange man. / Wait till you get to know him.
Rachel:Aah! Oh, my God! I'm sorry. I thought this was the baby's room.
Kramer · Rachel:You looking for this? / Aah! / Oh, Kramer. You startled me. / Well... I thought you might wind up around here.
Rachel · Kramer:Why not? / Well, now, it wouldn't be kosher. / Come on, Kramer. I really wanna try it. / No, I'm sorry, honey. Not on my watch.
Rachel · Kramer:Come on, Kramer. / Ahh! (Kramer pushes Rachel away from the lobster)
Kramer · Rachel · Jerry:And you eat eggs, don't you? / Yes, I do. / All right. / Thank you. / These are delicious. Where did you learn to make eggs like this? / These are so good. / Aw. Enjoying them? / Mm-hm. / Oh, good. / You know, you might wanna try eating it with one of these. / There's lobster in these eggs? / Not that much. They shrink in the water.
Kramer · Rachel:Kramer slips lobster into Rachel's eggs. She eats them. Realization: 'There's lobster in these eggs?' / Kramer: 'Not that much. They shrink in the water.'
Rachel · Jerry:Well, I guess I gotta go too. / Well, this has turned out to be one hell of a weekend. / Excuse me. [Rachel leaves immediately]