Herbert Love

Herbert Love · George Sr.:Herbert Love: 'You got a point behind all those teeth of yours?' — dismissive response to George Sr.'s pitch

Herbert Love · Narrator:Herbert Love's campaign ad: embraced by 'everyone from the very wealthy... to their bankers and tax attorneys'

Herbert Love · George Sr.:Herbert Love: 'What do I look like, Carl Weathers to you?' after George Sr. says 'Action? Action Jackson?'

Herbert Love:Herbert Love's campaign slogan 'high-low plan' — 'high income, low taxes' — sung as 'Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work I go — for you'

Herbert Love:Love's 'slushie fund' speech: 'getting a little something in my slushie fund so that I'm nice and loose and can help make numbers one and two happen'

Herbert Love · Narrator · George Sr.:Love: 'I don't want to be the one to say it, but I happen to be fond of redheads and greenbacks' — and the narrator notes 'George Sr. had neither'

Herbert Love:Love says his birth control speech 'had to duck a woman's pump and a mini pizza' when he unveiled it in Garden Grove

Herbert Love:Herbert Love: 'I am going to put this on my wall' — referring to the giant check, which is literally about the wall George Sr. is trying to build

Herbert Love:It's a 40 for the flip and a 40 for the flop, and since it's going to cause a flap, I'd say another 40. So it's a flat 40-40-40 flip-flop and a flap fee.

Herbert Love:At Cinco de Cuatro: 'No, thanks. I've already crushed one with my car.'

Herbert Love:Herbert Love's harassment press conference: 'Am I guilty of anything? Yes. Of having a great sense of humor. But the two women who accused me of this crime do not have a great sense of humor. Look, in fact, I'll tell you the joke and let you be the judge...' [then] I forgot the joke.

Herbert Love:Ah! What a great day to step out onto an over-irrigated golf course and play a game that wastes vast acres of usable, farmable land.

Herbert Love · Lindsay:Is it just me, or are we the only two people who don't fit in with all these Orange County phonies? [Lindsay has no idea this is Herbert Love]

Herbert Love · Lindsay:What's your name, princess? / Cindy Featherbottom. / Of the Laguna Beach Featherbottoms? / Are you trying to find out where I live?

Herbert Love:The only phony I'm interested in is your phony number.

Herbert Love · Maeby:...perhaps we can engage in some sexual congress. / Although that's a total giveaway, right?

Herbert Love · Lindsay:Meet, greet. / Sure are sweet. / What a treat. / What did the lamb say? / Baa? / Bleat.

Herbert Love · Lindsay:Your cheekbones are even higher than my approval rating. / Your brain can register my cheekbones? / I'll register 'em to vote.

Herbert Love:Your lips are like a Murphy bed. They don't take up much space, but they are there when you need 'em.

Herbert Love · Lindsay:Can we just have one night where we don't talk about politics? / Yes, yes, just one night. / We deserve it. / Let's get a room. / Yes- no. / What? / Uh, I... okay. / We can talk in a room, I guess.

Herbert Love:I'm going to meet with some of my, uh, 'constititutes.'

Lindsay · Herbert Love:Wait... I can't do this unless you promise to be against the wall. / What the hell? / It's better for my back anyway.

Lindsay · Herbert Love:That was so not quick. / Well, I paid for six hours. I want to get my money's worth. / Imagine what would have happened if you had the room for the whole night. / Oh, I got it for the whole month. / You crack me up.

Herbert Love · Lindsay:When love is near, your heart will be happy. / This way you'll always have a little Love near your heart. / [gives Lindsay a heart necklace] Aah, Jesus Christ! / Oh! / I'm sorry. / Why would you do that? / No, I thought it was cute, I saw it in a movie.

Herbert Love · Rebel Alley:Is there anything better than the great American scallop? / Look how he changes the subject.

Rebel Alley · Herbert Love · Michael · Lindsay:Aren't you glad your teenager's not here to see this? / You have a teenager? / I'm a movie prod... / Movie producer. / Producing a movie right now — Rebel's in it for Imagine Entertainment. / Oh! Is that Ron Howard's company?

Herbert Love · Michael · Rebel Alley:I don't want to be the one to say it, but I hate that guy. He's just another Hollywood liberal big shot. / Oh. There are a lot of those Ron Howards out there that do abuse their power, but I will tell you, sir, that I do not do that. / Well, don't you have to have power to abuse the power?

Herbert Love · Michael:I am also not one of those Beverly Hills billionaires who can't go two minutes without putting his phone to his... / I got to take this. Hold on one second. Hello? / Hey, George Michael...

Herbert Love · Lindsay · Michael:Now that is one redhead I do not want to have sexual relations with. / Well... / So... are we having dessert? / No. / No. Uh-uh. / Well, I don't want to be the one to say it, but if we are not going to have dessert, then I think I am going to leave. / Oh, no. / But we're going to discuss those new positions tonight. Wasn't that the plan? / I think the best position for me to be in tonight is with my wife, and tomorrow I'm taking my wife and children to see the beautiful American ocean.

Herbert Love · Lindsay:I cannot be under the covers with you anymore. It's over between us. My wife found out and I told her there was nothing emotional, that you were just a prostitute. / I'm not a prostitute. / Oh, I know, I know. The point is, we are through. Here's a little severance package for servicing my package.

Herbert Love:And don't forget to vote.

Ophelia Love · Herbert Love:It's like that movie The Blind Side. / I suppose we could use a Blind Side Monster. / Well, we shouldn't call him a monster. / That's why I love you, Ophelia. You've got a heart as big as that Blind Side Monster's hand.

Herbert Love · Buster:Let me show you what a government handout looks like. / Hold your government hand out. / Yeah! And let's give freedom from government a big thumbs-up!

Herbert Love · Buster:It's like I said about contraception: If you want me to pay for her diaphragm, I get to put my hand in her… / Shoe! / Nice stop, Blind Side Monster. / Buster… Blind Side Buster.

Lindsay · Herbert Love:Oh, my God. Lindsay. What are you doing here? Guess I just had to get away. I was just ordering lunch. Can I buy you lunch? Oh, yeah. I'm so hungry, I could eat.