Lindsay continues to push away from being a Bluth by embracing a relationship and finding a new career.
Red herring callbacks sustain 77 jokes across a deliberately misdirected narrative structure.
Directed by Mitchell Hurwitz, Troy Miller · Written by Richard A. Rosenstock, Caroline Goddard
WAR
199.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Red Hairing” ranks #50 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 94.5 — Elite. The episode packs 126 scored jokes at 2.6 per minute, averaging 7.7 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Lindsay landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Lindsay · Narrator: Lindsay tried to throw the money in his face, but she didn't have the muscle memory for it. / [She keeps it] / She's keeping it. / Oh, good.
Narrator: Lindsay wasn't special, but he'd gotten the necklaces on special.
Narrator Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement Herbert Love: I'm going to meet with some of my, uh, 'constititutes.'
Lindsay: Hey, can I get you a fork? 'Cause that's my brother whose face you're licking.
Lindsay Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Lindsay · Marky · Narrator: Lindsay lost track of the time like Cinderella... and had forgotten to release Marky from the podium, and that's when she was struck with an eerie sense of déjà vu. / [Marky bursts from podium covered in blue] Oh, God, he blued himself.
All Jokes — 126 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Lindsay: I'd give $20,000 for a lemonade right now.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Ma Bark: Marky! Mommy needs mescaline!
Ma Bark Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Ma Bark · Marky · Lindsay: And tell your girlfriend DeBrie to shovel that ostrich crap! / It's not DeBrie, Ma Bark. It's Lindsay. I just cut off my hair. / I know who you are. Now start shoveling!
Ma Bark: God, you're lazier than Lindsay.
Ma Bark Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Marky · Lindsay · Narrator: There's another dead iguana. / What does this mean? / Probably those bastards next door. [The bastards next door were actually a gathered group of CEOs attending a mid-summer sweat and squeeze.]
Marky · Lindsay: They just want to separate the whites from the browns. / You really are color-blind. / Face-blind.
Marky: Fortunately, I can see color. That's how I can tell the browns are the Mexicans.
Marky Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Callback Marky · Narrator: I thought I scared those bastards off by scaring their leader. / The strong will become the weak. / But I think I overdid it first on the maca, because I ended up seeing two of him.
Marky: That lizard bastard bit me! / Who keeps numbing these desert animals?
Marky Absurdist Character Comedy Marky: No, no, we'll kill it later.
Marky Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Ma Bark: Put some rubbing mescaline on it!
Ma Bark Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Narrator: Lindsay hated her new life, but even more, she hated herself for hating her new life.
Narrator Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Narrator · Lindsay: Hey, I know a place that just opened up. [beat] ...herself. Now the story of a family whose future was abruptly canceled...
Narrator: It's Lindsay's Arrested Development.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Running Gag ★ Rewatch Marky · Lindsay: Ugh. Smells weird in here. What is that? / I think it's just... not urine.
Lindsay: And we're not moving in, we're occupying a space with central air.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Marky: And it might be nice to live like normal people for a change. [beat] Let's put some newspaper on these windows.
Marky Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Narrator: One year later, however, the only thing they'd actually changed was getting the 'not urine' smell out of the penthouse.
Narrator Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Lindsay · Marky: You're looking at Lindsay. / Still Lindsay. / Oh. Hey, Linds.
Marky · Lindsay: How was beg? / Beg was good. I found sometres leches cake.
Lindsay: I'll change out of these filthy clothes and into some filthy lingerie. I don't think I washed it.
Lindsay Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Marky · Lindsay: No, I meant what we're gonna do to this guy — Herbert Love. / Oh.
Herbert Love: Herbert Love's harassment press conference: 'Am I guilty of anything? Yes. Of having a great sense of humor. But the two women who accused me of this crime do not have a great sense of humor. Look, in fact, I'll tell you the joke and let you be the judge...' [then] I forgot the joke.
Marky: Oh, he's about to be harassed, all right. I'm gonna spray the bastards with ink and glitter. It'll be in their ears for weeks.
Marky Character Comedy Absurdist Marky · Lindsay: Did you take the silver glitter? / Nope. I mean, I'd say check the junk drawer, but I can't differentiate anymore.
Marky · Lindsay: Marky's elaborate podium-hiding bomb plan, culminating in 'Blue in the face, yeah. That's better than what I had, actually. I was gonna say they'd be covered in ink and glitter.'
Lindsay · Marky: Or we can support Lucille 2, who he's running against. She's right across the hall. / No, no! She's part of the problem. Wait, you haven't been going over there, by the way? No one can know we're here. / Of course not. Does it look like I'm lying?
Narrator · Lucille 2: Because Lindsay could only spend so many hours with a shrill, feathered creature... [cut] ...and needed to get away. / You look marvelous in that! Here, try this on.
Lindsay: I can't believe how much I've missed the feel of anything that isn't hemp.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lucille 2 · Lindsay: Isn't that funny? I used to wear that with the Captain. / And I was... Tennille? / And not make contact, yes!
Narrator: Lindsay was no stranger to making campaign posters, having made several in her seventh grade class president campaign against Sally Sitwell. Sally ultimately proved successful with a more fact-based campaign.
Narrator Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Lucille 2: A couple of tiny notes, hon. There are two S's in 'congress.' And I just call myself Lucille... Lucille 1. I'm so sorry. No. Just Lucille.
Lucille 2 Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Lindsay · Lucille 2: Honestly, Lucille 2, you've been like a mother to me. / Aw. / Except kind and loving and willing to let me eat. It just blows me away.
Lindsay · Lucille 2: Oh, speaking of, do you mind if I go through your couch cushions? / Oh, honey, I wish you'd take the rest of this tres leches cake. It's from a dear Hispanic supporter. And I'll never get it into the bay in one piece.
Lindsay: Hey, can I get you a fork? 'Cause that's my brother whose face you're licking.
Lindsay Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Marky: That's a face? / Everything I do is wrong.
Marky Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Lindsay · Marky: I'm really, really pretty. / I'm the straightest guy you know! / Why does every man feel like they have to say that to me?
Marky: Quiet! Cindy's in heat. You know how much she hates it when we argue.
Marky Character Comedy Absurdist Lindsay · Narrator: "From Gangie 4: Facelift." / What a load of... / Mother.
Lucille Bluth · Lindsay: Oh, great, looks like we've got another high-end hooker in here. / Oh, thank you, Mother.
Lucille Bluth · Narrator: I already wrote you a check for that. [flashback] New nose. / Worrying it would hurt her daughter's feelings... Put a 'Y' on there. / ...she put a fun spin on it. / 'Nosy.' And you should be thanking me for that. You looked like a can opener.
Lucille Bluth: I'll be out on parole by the time you work up a tear.
Lucille Bluth: Just goes to show, the apple does not far from the tree fall.
Lindsay: I am like you nothing. / You're not even my real mother. / I am a political activist.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Prison Guard · Lucille Bluth: Your 3:00 p.m. hot rock massage is open. / Thanks for coming, sweetheart.
Lindsay · Narrator: And that's why she did this. [beat] I'm in. Let's bomb the bastard.
Herbert Love: Ah! What a great day to step out onto an over-irrigated golf course and play a game that wastes vast acres of usable, farmable land.
Narrator: After a few nights in the trailer, Lindsay showed up in Lucille 2's Tennille wig to be ready to release Marky from the podium at the appointed time, and then stroll out together in disguise. I think that's what this part refers to back when the disguise was going to be a two-part horse costume.
Narrator Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch George Bluth: Lindsay, I forgot, you dyed your hair. / Do you have any money?
Maeby · Lindsay: Of course you're here. I should've known you'd be supporting this right-wing, dangerous crackpot. / No, no. I am here undercover with my boyfriend. We are gonna take down Love with a random act of senseless nonviolence.
Maeby · Lindsay · Narrator: Maeby felt a foreign feeling. / I actually respect that. / Which is why, for the first time in her adult life... / So what are you doing here? / ...Maeby was totally honest with her mother. / I'm getting a lifetime achievement award for my work in the entertainment business. / I tried. Tell your therapist I tried.
Herbert Love · Lindsay: Is it just me, or are we the only two people who don't fit in with all these Orange County phonies? [Lindsay has no idea this is Herbert Love]
Herbert Love · Lindsay: What's your name, princess? / Cindy Featherbottom. / Of the Laguna Beach Featherbottoms? / Are you trying to find out where I live?
Narrator: Lindsay hadn't heard the word 'jewelry' in a long time but tried to stay strong.
Narrator Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Herbert Love: The only phony I'm interested in is your phony number.
Lindsay · Marky · Narrator: Lindsay lost track of the time like Cinderella... and had forgotten to release Marky from the podium, and that's when she was struck with an eerie sense of déjà vu. / [Marky bursts from podium covered in blue] Oh, God, he blued himself.
Herbert Love · Maeby: ...perhaps we can engage in some sexual congress. / Although that's a total giveaway, right?
Maeby: I don't know what this nut was protesting tonight. I thought you were supposed to be sticking it to the man, not the other way around.
Maeby Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Narrator · Lindsay: In fairness to Lindsay, it was Marky's face-blindness that led him to mistake this photo for the candidate. / Why Lindsay failed to recognize musical icon Nat King Cole cannot be explained. / But he's so modern looking.
Maeby · Lindsay: Are you really going to whore yourself out like that? / I am not a whore. / Yeah, you're a whore. / I am not a whore.
Narrator: Lindsay was as blue as one of her men when she returned to the penthouse.
Narrator · Buster · Gob: ...she was at least able to turn a man's head... Gentlemen, start your engines. ...although, perhaps had his head not turned... Buster. ...he would have seen the ostrich warning on the door. No, Gob. Oh!
Maeby · Lindsay: Yeah, well, the bags are certainly a surprise. / You're not thinking of moving in, are you? / What? No. / Yeah, because I don't think Dad would be cool with it. / No, of course not. / Yeah. / Is he in? / No.
Lindsay · Maeby: Oh, what happened there? / Kids or people who like kids.
Marky: So it turns out the glitter was shrapnel grade. They're upping my charges from prank bomb to non-Arab terrorism.
Marky Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lindsay · Marky · Narrator: Why didn't you just come out? / I couldn't do it; someone locked me in. / In fact, it was Gob, thinking he was trapping the magician Tony Wonder into one of his illusions.
Gob: Hey, Mark, you guys want to see a real failed magician, you might want to get down to the Opies tonight. It's going to be hysterical.
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Marky · Prison Inmate: Jail's a lot like Swappigans, except there's only one thing to swap. It's scary. / Anus tart. Yep, that's me.
Maeby · Lindsay: Oh, of course, that's why you were giving Herbert Love a little you time last night. / You were flirting with him to get Marky out of jail. / Well, yeah, that is what I should have been do- what I did, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what I should have and did do.
Herbert Love · Lindsay: Meet, greet. / Sure are sweet. / What a treat. / What did the lamb say? / Baa? / Bleat.
Herbert Love · Lindsay: Your cheekbones are even higher than my approval rating. / Your brain can register my cheekbones? / I'll register 'em to vote.
Herbert Love: Your lips are like a Murphy bed. They don't take up much space, but they are there when you need 'em.
Herbert Love · Lindsay: Can we just have one night where we don't talk about politics? / Yes, yes, just one night. / We deserve it. / Let's get a room. / Yes- no. / What? / Uh, I... okay. / We can talk in a room, I guess.
Herbert Love: I'm going to meet with some of my, uh, 'constititutes.'
Michael: But if you really want to blow him— away, you know the wall issue that everyone is talking about?
Lindsay · Michael: Tell him to take it down? / Or just not to put it up. No wall yet. / Oh, no, there's no— I knew that, yeah.
Narrator: He wasn't. In fact, he was just using her Love connection to make good on a deal he'd struck to get his father's movie rights.
Michael · Lindsay: The girl I've been telling you about — she likes nice things, and if everything goes well tonight, I think I may want to take her out for a nice dinner. / You really like this girl? / She's Tracey. / Oh. / Fat Tracey or thin Tracey at the end?
Michael · Lindsay: You'd do this for me? / I will if you... / Yeah, sure, fine. / Yeah? / Yeah, I'll talk to him about the wall. / Good. / I mean, I want to change politics. / Great. / What's in it for me?
Michael: We got a light aircraft right in the middle of the freeway.
George Michael · Michael: I bet we're sitting in the exact same traffic. This is a mess. / Oh, God, they're forcing us off. Oh, they're closing the lanes.
Lindsay · Herbert Love: Wait... I can't do this unless you promise to be against the wall. / What the hell? / It's better for my back anyway.
Lindsay · Herbert Love: That was so not quick. / Well, I paid for six hours. I want to get my money's worth. / Imagine what would have happened if you had the room for the whole night. / Oh, I got it for the whole month. / You crack me up.
Herbert Love · Lindsay: When love is near, your heart will be happy. / This way you'll always have a little Love near your heart. / [gives Lindsay a heart necklace] Aah, Jesus Christ! / Oh! / I'm sorry. / Why would you do that? / No, I thought it was cute, I saw it in a movie.
Narrator: Lindsay wasn't special, but he'd gotten the necklaces on special.
Narrator Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement Lindsay · Narrator: Uh, Bluth. I made a reservation. / ...Lindsay had to pay for dinner the way she always had... by secretly putting it on her family tab.
Lucille Bluth (on phone) · Lindsay · Michael: Who's the cheap redhead? / Well, hello. / Hello. / Indeed.
Lindsay · Michael · Narrator: Great to see you. And you look so good. / So do you. I do hate the campaign, okay, but I'm changing him. I'm his key advisor. / Although without an office, she was forced to advise him in the back of his limo. And soon she was advising him all over town. And he respects me for it.
Lindsay · Michael: Oh! My name is Cindy Featherbottom. / Right. Oh, and I used to be a real estate tycoon, now I'm an impressive producer. Got it? / Got it.
Lindsay · Rebel Alley: Hi-lo. / Hi-lo? / Just like your plan to hurt the poor.
Michael · Lindsay: Uh, she is... um... [long pause] / High school. / Brother and sister. / We can't be brother-sister — she knows about the family. / We don't. / Just met. / Yeah, so, but let's eat.
Lindsay: Is everybody's food as delicious as my side salad?
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Rebel Alley · Lindsay: It's just a little hard to sit two feet away from someone who doesn't believe in paying for a woman's contraception. / Well, to be fair, no, he does pay for the room.
Herbert Love · Rebel Alley: Is there anything better than the great American scallop? / Look how he changes the subject.
Rebel Alley · Herbert Love · Michael · Lindsay: Aren't you glad your teenager's not here to see this? / You have a teenager? / I'm a movie prod... / Movie producer. / Producing a movie right now — Rebel's in it for Imagine Entertainment. / Oh! Is that Ron Howard's company?
Herbert Love · Michael · Rebel Alley: I don't want to be the one to say it, but I hate that guy. He's just another Hollywood liberal big shot. / Oh. There are a lot of those Ron Howards out there that do abuse their power, but I will tell you, sir, that I do not do that. / Well, don't you have to have power to abuse the power?
Michael · Lindsay: I am not going to sit here and defend Ron Howard to someone who's never achieved half of what he's achieved. / Are you saying that to him or to me?
Herbert Love · Michael: I am also not one of those Beverly Hills billionaires who can't go two minutes without putting his phone to his... / I got to take this. Hold on one second. Hello? / Hey, George Michael...
Rebel Alley · Lindsay: I can't believe that a woman would support this guy. / ...Lindsay found herself torn between who she was with and who she wanted to be. / And I assume by being with him, you just parrot his values. / I don't appreciate you saying that, okay? I have my own values, Rebel, and believe it or not, they're closer to yours than you think. / 'Cause I do appreciate you saying that. But what do I know? I'm just some shallow Hollywood...
Herbert Love · Lindsay · Michael: Now that is one redhead I do not want to have sexual relations with. / Well... / So... are we having dessert? / No. / No. Uh-uh. / Well, I don't want to be the one to say it, but if we are not going to have dessert, then I think I am going to leave. / Oh, no. / But we're going to discuss those new positions tonight. Wasn't that the plan? / I think the best position for me to be in tonight is with my wife, and tomorrow I'm taking my wife and children to see the beautiful American ocean.
Marky · Lindsay: I did it. I beat the system. I got out my way. / I thought my brother asked Warden Gentles to get you out. / No, I mean from the Dumpster. You wouldn't believe the scallops they're throwing away here, but I got out of that Dumpster my way.
Marky · Lindsay: On the Cinco de Cuatro, Love's boat is going to... / Sink-o. / ...go into the... Yes, sink-o.
Narrator: Her head was with Marky... but it was Love who was close to her heart.
Narrator Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Herbert Love · Lindsay: I cannot be under the covers with you anymore. It's over between us. My wife found out and I told her there was nothing emotional, that you were just a prostitute. / I'm not a prostitute. / Oh, I know, I know. The point is, we are through. Here's a little severance package for servicing my package.
Lindsay · Narrator: Lindsay tried to throw the money in his face, but she didn't have the muscle memory for it. / [She keeps it] / She's keeping it. / Oh, good.
Herbert Love: And don't forget to vote.
Lindsay: I'm not some taco you can throw into the bay.
Lindsay Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Lindsay: I'm not some taco you can throw into the bay.
Lindsay Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Lucille Bluth · Lindsay: Mom. What are you doing here? / Lindsay. I thought you were a hooker. / Again. / It's a wig. / No one recognizes me in it. / Oh, I recognized you. / Let me rephrase that more kindly. / I hear you're hooking now with Herbert Love. / It's called hooking up.
Lucille Bluth · Lindsay: You are who you are — a blonde, waspy Orange County princess who doesn't care about anything but herself and that's okay. / Ah, sarcasm. / No, I'm a Bluth and so are you.
Narrator · Lindsay: Lindsay was done pretending to be red. / I don't need this anymore. / And she decided the best way to get back at her mother and Herbert Love was by working for their mutual rival.
Lucille 2 · Sally Sitwell · Lindsay: But I found someone more qualified than you. / Hello, Lindsay. / Sally. / It was Sally Sitwell, a woman who'd long been Lindsay's rival. / How is she more qualified than me? / She has integrity. / And look at this hair. / Look at this beautiful, long hair. / I made you a banner.
Sally Sitwell · Lindsay: Oh, she just means these photos of Herbert Love with a mystery redhead he's cheating on his wife with. / Who took these? / The first two were taken by the security camera in the Albertsons parking lot. And the third was left in the photo booth at the Ealing Club. / God, that was a photo booth?
Sally Sitwell · Lindsay: Herbert Love with his hooker? / She'll win for sure. / I can't let her do that. / I don't think you can stop her.
Lindsay: Herbert Love with his hooker? She'll win for sure.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback David (Love Campaign Staff) · Lindsay: And I'm so sorry about that giant crack earlier. / Okay, raise the mics, everybody! New speaker!
David · Lindsay: Complete con-con... Complete con-con-con... con-con... Complete... / ...trol? / Giant... trol.
Lindsay: I am Herbert Love's 'key advisor.' [air quotes]
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Lindsay · Herbert Love's Staffer · Narrator: Love wants to put up a wall. No, no. I mean, not just any wall. A wall to keep out the Mexicans. / Oh, wow, what a great crowd, uh... / And that's when the blowback began. / Checkmate!
Lindsay · Crowd: That's my necklace. / They don't belong here, we belong here. / I mean, someone should put up a wall. / But that's when Lindsay found herself saying this... / Yeah. / We should put up a wall. / Put up this wall. / Put... up... this wall. / ALL: Put up this wall!
Lindsay · Narrator · Campaign Staffer: My name is Lindsay Bluth, and this is who I am. / A Bluth, just like her mother. / She's a game changer.
Narrator: Herbert Love is discovered in a coma. They think it happened during the blowback. They found him behind the Kick a Goat.
Narrator: The doctors say he may come out of it in a week to ten years.
Campaign Staffer · Herbert Love (in coma) · Lindsay: So I have one question for you. / Would you consider... / Yes. / Would you consider... / Yes. / Would you consider... / Yes. / Would you consider running in his place? / Yes. / Fantastic. Sweetheart, could you work his thumb?
Political operative: Sweetheart, could you work his thumb?
Narrator: And Annyong tries to stick the Bluth family for a tomato juice that costs him $700 and ultimately his freedom. Good-bye, Annyong.
Narrator Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — Arrested Development
