Gob decides to lock himself in his father's prison for 24 hours to get back in with the alliance, and to spend quality time with his father. Michael takes Gob's girlfriend to an awards show, and Buster inadvertently flirts with his mother's rival.
51 jokes in 21 minutes—Arrested Development hits its stride with relentless character-driven absurdism.
Directed by Joe Russo, Anthony Russo · Written by Brad Copeland
WAR
142.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Key Decisions” ranks #1 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 100.0 — Elite. The episode packs 83 scored jokes at 4.0 per minute, averaging 7.8 on craft and 7.6 on impact, with Gob landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Michael: I've made a huge mistake. [Michael, alone, after realizing Gob is keeping Marta]
Michael Callback Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Doctor · Gob · Michael: Looks like the shiv would have done some real damage if it hadn't been for this. [holds up the swallowed key] / It was in your lower intestine. / So close.
Buster: That's what you do when life hands you a chance to be with someone special. You just grab that... that brownish area by its points, and you don't let go, no matter what your mom says.
Buster Character Comedy Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Lucille Bluth · Buster: He doesn't even know what she looks like. — I know she's a brownish area with points.
Lucille Bluth: Watch out for bridges and hop-ons. You're gonna get some hop-ons.
All Jokes — 83 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Lindsay: Great. So now we don't have a car or a jet? Why don't we just take an ad out in I'm Poor magazine?
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lindsay · Michael: What about the trees? — We're just gonna cover them up with blankets.
Michael: I'll never forget your wedding. [in response to Lindsay mentioning Neuterfest]
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lindsay · Michael: I care deeply for nature. — You're wearing ostrich skin boots. — I don't care about ostriches.
Gob: It's bad enough that I gotta go to the awards show tomorrow night. Today I gotta stand next to her like I'm Rita Wilson.
Gob Character Comedy Observational Gob · Michael: Michael! — That's Mom. Hide.
Lucille Bluth: I may not have her money anymore, but at least I have a live husband.
Lucille Bluth: Make it long so Buster doesn't seem so... round.
Lucille Bluth: It's his glasses. They make him look like a lizard.
Michael: Gee, I wonder why. [after Lucille says Buster is self-conscious]
Lucille Bluth: If that's a veiled criticism about me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.
Lucille Bluth: Watch out for bridges and hop-ons. You're gonna get some hop-ons.
Michael: After we get that lot cleared, we're gonna have enough money for you to neuter thousands of animals. You can make dogs and cats a complete thing of the past. No more dogs and cats.
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy Callback Lindsay: I'll do it for the cats.
Lindsay Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Gob: I, too, have an announcement to make. To prove that no prison can hold me, I will incarcerate myself in the penitentiary that holds my own father, only to escape 24 hours later.
Gob Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch TV host / Interviewer: Say that to them in Spanish.
Gob: What? No, Dad's fine. Just saw him in there throwing the ball around with a couple guys. Which, of course, he never did with me.
Gob Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Narrator: The warden was intrigued... less about the stunt... and more about the prison beatings this brash magician was sure to receive.
Narrator Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Gob · Warden: Well, any press is good press, huh? / Right. [beat]
Gob · Narrator: So Gob went about swallowing the key to prepare for his escape. [followed by ~30 seconds of implied key-swallowing action before Gob speaks again]
Gob · Michael: Of course, that is gonna conflict with my going to the Desis with Marta. — Well, life's a compromise.
Gob: I probably would have taken her to the nice event, but prison'll be fun too.
Gob Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Gob · Michael: Thank you. I knew you'd come through. / How'd I come through? / Gob, how'd I come through?
Michael: You might wanna find something a little stronger, Warden. [referring to the warden's drink]
Michael Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Lindsay: Get out of our tree.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm George Sr. · Gob: Keep your arm up. That's how you get accuracy. — Thought you said throwing the ball against the garage door by yourself was how you got accuracy.
Gob: I killed a guy. Nah, it's just a publicity stunt.
Gob Dark/Subversive Misdirection Gob: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize there weren't any magic fans here.
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Gob · George Sr.: Hey, White Power Bill, he's all right. — White Power Bill can't hear you... with such dirty ears. — Hey, White Power Bill has dirty ears. Hey, guys! Dirty Ears Bill! Dirty Ears Bill!
Michael: You're Marta? [Michael's visible shock at how attractive Marta is]
Michael Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Marta: Listen, Marta, I hope you don't mind driving. I took a cab here. — Well, my brother may have eaten them. [Michael explaining he couldn't find his keys]
Michael · Marta: I haven't hired a limo or anything. — I don't mind. — I think you might. [followed by the stair car pulling up]
Lindsay: Look, I'm an activist too. I appreciate what you're doing for the environment. But we're not the only ones who destroy trees. What about beavers? You call yourself an environmentalist? Go club some beavers.
Michael: Where are the stairs? [Michael arriving at the Desi awards, realizing there are no exterior stairs — because he has the stair car]
Michael Visual Gag Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Lucille Bluth: A sea of waiters, and no one will take a drink order.
Buster: Buster mingling at the Desi awards without his glasses, singing/humming '¿Cómo estoy?' to himself
Buster Visual Gag Character Comedy Lucille Bluth · Lucille Austero: Showing up here without your husband. Shame be damned. Caution to the wind. — That's so sweet, darling. I'm here to support you. — You're the one who's all alone and likely to stay that way. — My husband's just a phone call away. — That's one call per day, isn't it? Gee, I should think he'd wanna save that for his lawyer. — At least he's in prison, not an urn.
Lucille Austero: You are so deliciously witty. Aren't we having fun?
Narrator · Lucille Austero: The other Lucille also suffers from severe vertigo. [followed by Lucille Austero losing her balance at the event]
Buster · Lucille Austero · Narrator: Lucille Austero first took notice of Buster [visual: she sees him without his glasses for the first time and finds him attractive] — Buster, however, failed to notice her [visual: Buster walking past, oblivious due to blindness without glasses]
Lucille Austero · Buster · Narrator: She sent him a proposition. [Lucille Austero sends a note to Buster via waiter]
Michael: Did you win? I-I don't speak Spanish.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Gob: I can't pass this key without privacy!
Gob Character Comedy Escalation Gob: I've made a huge mistake.
Gob Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Lindsay · Johnny Bark: He was a serious and committed advocate for change. Where is he now? At a weekend stage fighting workshop with Carl Weathers.
Lindsay: Oh, I'm up here, Mike, and I'm not coming down! I'm gonna save this tree, no matter what it takes.
Lindsay Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Okay. I'll see you when you realize what that bucket's for.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Michael: I can see why your mom likes it. It is a really nice tree. We've gotta get it torn down. That must die... stupid tree.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lucille Bluth: A waiter hands him a note; suddenly he's Steve McQueen.
Lucille Bluth · Buster: He doesn't even know what she looks like. — I know she's a brownish area with points.
Buster: And I know I love her.
Buster Character Comedy Escalation Callback Buster: Okay, I don't know I love her... but I cannot tell you how liberating it is to be with someone who's not Mom... who's nothing like her.
Buster Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Buster: That's what you do when life hands you a chance to be with someone special. You just grab that... that brownish area by its points, and you don't let go, no matter what your mom says.
Buster Character Comedy Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Good talk. [Michael, after Buster's passionate brownish area speech]
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Gob: I unplugged the ice cream sandwich machine and the guards are all eating them before they get too melty, so I've got like a half an hour.
Gob Character Comedy Absurdist Gob · Michael: Where the hell are the stairs? — Oh! I thought you were kidding!
Michael: Hey, speaking of kidding, how serious are you about Marta?
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Gob · Michael: Let me ask you something. How would you feel if I came down on you hard? — You're saying I'm not reading this right. — No, I'm saying I need to jump on you to break my fall.
Narrator: The guards soon became concerned about the paperwork that would be required of them if Gob actually did jump.
Narrator Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Gob · George Sr.: I'm a complete failure. — Where'd you get that kind of talk? — From you. You always say that about me.
George Sr.: Well, maybe you're not entirely to blame. I haven't always been the best kind of father either.
Gob: You've done a pretty good job of being a father to everybody in here. What have they got that I don't? You've never even thrown a ball around with me.
Gob Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback George Sr.: Great. Now you're an athlete.
Johnny Bark · Lindsay: I wanna be with you, Lindsay. — What? — And I know you wanna be with me too. — No, I don't. — But all the things you said about commitment and believing in things — that's the way I feel! — Johnny, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on. I think you're gross.
Lindsay · Johnny Bark: Uh-oh. / My tree. [Johnny Bark sees that the tree is being destroyed while he was away from it]
Michael: That's why you never get out of the tree. [after Johnny Bark abandons his tree protest to pursue Lindsay, and the bulldozers immediately knock the tree down]
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Visual Gag George Sr. · Gob · White Power Bill / Dirty Ears Bill · Narrator: And for the first time, Gob had the game of catch with his father he'd been waiting for his whole life. [George Sr. and Gob throw a ball in prison] — White power! — I'm... white.
Caller / Narrator device: You guys don't have a machine, huh? [phone machine interrupts Michael's confession to Marta]
Narrator · Gob: Gob has been stabbed in the back. [narrator, then revealed literally: Gob is in the hospital with a stab wound]
Gob: ? Ta-dah? [Gob, in a hospital bed, weakly attempting a magician's flourish]
Gob Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Lucille Austero · Buster: So, listen, Buster, have you given any thought to my offer? — I'm sorry. What? — Well, my phone hasn't made a peep.
Buster · Lucille Austero: Has your hair... always been that pointy, Miss Austero? — It's Lucille. — Right. Right. That's my mom's name.
Lucille Bluth · Michael: He's fine. I'll be in the hospital bar. — Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. — Well, this is why people hate hospitals.
Gob: You were right, Michael. Life is too short. Mine almost ended today. So I think I'm gonna work things out with Marta.
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Gob · Michael: Hmm. You know what's funny? — Mmm. — I was gonna walk out of that prison last night and break up with her. Good thing you didn't bring the stairs, huh?
Gob Michael Irony/Sarcasm Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Mmm. Very funny. Yeah. It's hysterical. I'm lucky.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Michael: Well, you know, you gotta put family first. That's the stupid thing that I believe.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Gob: You two keep talking out there, I'm gonna start getting jealous.
Gob Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marta: I am so happy. I'm gonna call the kids.
Marta Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Michael: I've made a huge mistake. [Michael, alone, after realizing Gob is keeping Marta]
Michael Callback Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Doctor · Narrator · Gob: Looks like the shiv would have done some real damage if it hadn't been for this. It was in your lower intestine. So close. [the key Gob swallowed is revealed to have deflected the shiv]
Doctor · Gob · Michael: Looks like the shiv would have done some real damage if it hadn't been for this. [holds up the swallowed key] / It was in your lower intestine. / So close.
Buster · Lucille Austero: Buster. — Let's go for it. [Buster makes a bold romantic move toward Lucille Austero]
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