Rebound

David, when did you become the Grim Reaper of romance?

We were just having the most stimulating conversation about you... ganda! Ugandan... politics.

Were you guys waiting up for me? - Ah! - N-no!

it was like, way too expensive, but hey, I'm not the one paying

I say, bravo, Alexis. Fling forward!

but you can call me Davey. Hey, how you doin', Davey?

Our Lexi is making some wonderful choices.

Like you calling the florist, and getting a quote? - That might be one of them.

Jocelyn has been smiling and waving at me from across the room in a very disturbing way

I'll be the mother with the baby at home looking for some extra cash, after I invested in your father's business.

There is an opening for a waitress at Bazongas Gentlemen's Club. I guess I could try that.

I don't know what's wrong with Bazongas.

More casual?

When you have that many years under your belt, you're bound to have collected a good story or two.

Artie loves to scat along with the songs. - Do you know what scatting is? - I do, not a huge fan.

Artie's an old soul, and you know how I'm an old soul, so we're just like, two old souls having fun together. - Well, he is an old soul. I'll give you that.

his ex-wife owns a vineyard, and his kids and grandkids are gonna be there.

Oh my God, is he calling me right now?! That is so 2001.

Yep, you just double-tap on photo with your finger.

speaking as someone who uses the body milk on the regs, just had a baby, don't wanna get stretch marks

plus it's great for diaper rash

You guys make it look so much harder.

Have a 'Rose-y' day! - We won't be doing 'Rose-y day.' - No?

Either a flock of poultry has delivered its ova mid-flight upon our car, or I've become the victim of a vandalization!

I can think of a handful of people who'd wanna egg David.

Stevie, you are blessed with anonymity, and thus will never have to know the crippling fear that accompanies global repute.

After my first centerfold with Soap Opera Digest, a deranged fan deposited locks of hair into my glove compartment.

As of now, you are my star witness. And sit low, no point endangering both our lives.

Stevie, you are blessed with anonymity, and thus will never have to know the crippling fear that accompanies global repute.

and she puts thing, says it's a lunner menu. - Lunner!

Oh don't worry, I'm over 21, Dad.

Well, please don't call me 'Dad.'

I don't know, I was a baby at the time, but there's a photo of him holding me at Christmas. And I remember that, because that was the year Santa brought me a lighter.

That's a smidge worse than 'Dad.'

I own a beautiful three-bedroom home with an above ground pool, if that's what you're worried about.

And being a grandad's even harder. - Oh, well, maybe you might wanna give me some tips when I eventually get there.

You describe the town as, and I quote, 'the last place you'd ever wanna end up.' - Oh no, I described the town as the last place I'd ever want to end up.

this could be the biggest scandal since we installed the church wheelchair ramp backwards

we can't afford another 'ramp-gate'

I specifically commended your ever-beating heart, and your elephantine generosity.

Please know that I believe, deep down, there are worse places to be. Like in your shoes right now.

As soon as one of you details my car.

like when you walk into a casino and win big on your first pull of the 'Basic Instinct' slot machine

Okay, I'm beginning to think that that is the high point of your entire life.

His taste in makeout music, for example, like, so weird. Like, who even is Cat Stevens?!

Well, Cat wrote some wonderful songs, honey.

He was responsible. He did run a successful mobile-home business.

Where were you when I was dating half the cast of 'White Squall?'

I just don't think it's in my brand. - I don't think I've ever said that.

'Cause you might need it a little more than me.

I'll have the Miso Black Cod, please. - We don't have that. - You mean, you're sold out, is more like it!

You mean, you're sold out, is more like it!

No noisy customers or busy cash registers here, to intrude upon your inner cogitations. - It's-it's not usually this quiet. - Oh, it's always nice and quiet here.

Can you stop saying that?

Thank you for having us. - John, no.

If heaven had a creek, it would be this one.