Motel Review

Says who?! The guy who invented custom beer cozies?

Yes, the last thing we want to do is stain these exquisite table tops.

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Well, aren't you Mr. Futuristic!

If they're at the motel using the coasters, they don't need to know where the motel is.

A hashtag? Is that two words?

something in a supervisory capacity, perhaps?

receptionist work is not my strong suit, that's more Alexis' bailiwick.

Then I shall keep watch over this front desk.

Is it because I was texting in class?

Oh my God, thank you!

Trust me, if I could've gotten someone else to write this, I would've.

Duplicitousness?! I can barely say that.

Okay, like, I didn't even choose this font! It's horrible.

Leased.

Give you more time to... oscillate.

Battin' a thousand here, David.

I don't know what that means.

it's a General Store, but it's also a very specific store.

more like a branded immersive experience.

I love the buzzwords, David, but I do need to put something down here.

I don't play cricket.

Oh my God, where did you come from?

My associates will deal with all that when you depart.

No, I use it to lay out my clothes.

I like to see all my clothes at once.

Except I haven't decided which bed to sleep in, so that's tricky.

Yes. - Sorry, which one? - I don't care. - I'm sorry? I don't know!

And I'm very much looking forward to the moment when that stops!

which is why it was super upsetting when she said it wasn't good. - She what? - Yeah, she said it was bad.

duplexity, and backtowards!

did she... happen to say anything about that quote from Lee lacocca?

Some guy who's working at Ray's told you your business was a failure?

Okay, maybe he didn't call my business a failure, but it was insinuated.

I'm incapable of faking sincerity. I'm also just incapable of sincerity in general.

I am sitting on a big, empty space, and I couldn't even tell him what I wanted to do with it!

Hi David, it's Patrick. I um-was just calling to run my business plan by you in a little more detail.

Ciao! I said ciao to that person.

Which that's not - that's not your name.

Oh God! Yeah, the text cut us off.

I manned that front desk with the vigor of a wartime radio operator.

It was a master class in patience.

with an unrecognizable accent, and scary-looking attire.

And what might this have to do with me?

fussy little (Bleep)!

But unlike him, I will not hide behind the internet!

Just kidding, I didn't play them for anybody.

I may have played them here on speaker phone.

'Rose Apothecary,' you know, it's just pretentious enough.

it's just pretentious enough.

Would we call that pretentious, or... timeless?

Why couldn't you have helped me cheat in private school, like everyone else's parents?!

Because I wasn't around to help you cheat back then, and I regret it!

is it really plagiarism to take something your dad wrote, and put it in your paper, and claim it as your own? Yes, that's exactly what it is.

you're better... 'than' that. / Okay, I'm better then that. / Not better then that, better... than that.

The drinks out of this machine are very cold. Too cold.

My daughter married a man who turned out to be her uncle.

The lowlife uncle she believed to have been executed years before by the Indian cartel.

they threatened to burn down the motel, and leave my pregnant baby penniless.

but not without first shaving all her beautiful hair!

Nothing! She is my everything!

I would love to read this economics paper.

why shop in store when you can buy online

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We're going to get lots of disciples, dear.