Greenzo

This is sunset blush. I wear tiger orgasm.

Pete's having an affair... The sexy justin timberlake hat.

The only reason men start taking care of themselves is if they're getting someone to have sex with them. If it wasn't for that, they'd just sit at home in their own filth.

Hey, Liz. We're out of string cheese, so I think I'm gonna take off.

To save the earth? So we can drain the remainder of its resources.

Greenzo! Saving the earth while maintaining profitability.

America's first non-judgmental, business-friendly environmental advocate. The free market will solve global warming, if that even exists.

Greenzo? Is that the first name that came to your head? Can you believe it? I mean, it just popped right there.

My last real job was an ad for Rick Lazio's New York Senate campaign. 'Hillary Clinton wants an all-homosexual army. How will that affect my family?'

I just wish my mom were still alive so I could rub it in her fat face.

I'm always the only person who shows up.

Harvey Lemmings, my lawyer, who never misses a party. That's not a real person. You made that up.

'Cause if the earth's not here, where else is Greenzo gonna dance?

Sorry, everybody, that's Meredith Vieira.

It's wry and wise, but also very sexual.

Colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh, we gotta update these forms.

Wow, if you licked the envelope, you could clone him, and then you'd have two Geisses.

Yeah, right, Lemon. I'm gonna clone Geiss, then compete with a Geiss clone for the CEO position?

I'm just a simple pig farmer's son.

During your party, I'll be home, listening to some Schubert. And, uh, ironically, viewing some Canadian pornography.

Hope you're ready to party like it's 1999. Which, according to my Bible, will be in seven years.

Your beautiful wife Paula. And your sons, Robert and Jack. And that creepy little one who's always rubbing himself against the carpet.

Oh, great, now I smell like midlife crisis!

Here's a tip, Cerie. Decide what you want before you open the refrigerator. You just released enough hydrofluorocarbons to kill a penguin. This penguin.

You ever take off that costume? You ever take off yours? Greenzo out!

Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly?

Ken went to high school in Georgia with the rapper T.I. And, boys... T.I. might show up.

Bob Logan from Texas Instruments is gonna be there? Logan must be in contention for the CEO spot as well.

Hey, you know what else takes a long time? Building a new earth.

Do you even bother to compost your own feces?

Are you saying actors can't change the world? I guess nobody bothered to tell Sharon Stone.

So let's have a little less yappity yap and a little more clackity clack.

You jag! I just got this, like, eight years ago.

You're cheating with your wife?

That's my fault. I get off on the sneakin' around. Who knew, right?

Why is there a pop-tart in the bed? What do you do with the pop-tart?

It combines my two favorite things: Boxing and referees!

You dummy, first of all, you didn't dial that cell phone. Second of all, that is your own rumor.

Just like Colonial Williamsburg.

I'm just horny to be in New York

Isn't that a fantastic joke?

So that's the way you wanna play this? Whip 'em out, measure 'em.

Hey, kids, can you hold your breath? Good. Now do it forever. 'Cause the air is gonna be poisoned unless we switch to green technology. Sold by our company.

It's rude to interrupt people.

I'm talking about big companies and their two-faced, fat cat executives.

Did you kids know that we could actually end global warming in five years, if we just raised taxes on the super-rich by just 2%?

It doesn't matter if it's true. He works for that money.

So much hair.

We did it on your kitchen table. I shouldn't have told you that.

If there were money in the future instead of just hugs.

Can you fire the wind, Jack? Can you fire a hurricane?

We're developing that technology!

Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. Mr. Lutz, you ate all my parakeet's medication.

And thanks to you, Sonny Crockett has been having seizures all morning.

Mr. Jordan, I saw you steal my sink.

Mr. Jordan, I saw you steal my sink.

Harlem Globetrotter... does that name mean nothing to you?

I will have you know that before last night, I had never, ever seen Grizz or Dotcom cry.

You were all present at Kenneth parcell's last party ever.

Is he gonna be the new Greenzo? Uh, not exactly. I may have gotten him here under false pretenses.

We met when Jack was an intern for Senator Ted Kennedy. Let me tell ya, Jack was the most liberal guy--

Your parent company could lobby Congress and the president to pass the treaty and save the climate. Yes, or... you could put on a silly hat and tell the kids how outsourcing means cheaper toys at Christmas.

Back off, Jack! Or you'll be Greenzoed! You'll all be Greenzoed!

A whale is in trouble. I have to go.

Oh, boy, okay. This earth is ruined! We gotta get a new one.