Cerie

Liz Lemon · Cerie:Cerie declining coffee — 'No, thank you.' Beat. 'No?'

Cerie:Oh, my God, isn't Jack friends with Tom DeLay? Am I going on a date with Tom DeLay?

Liz · Cerie:Cerie is told to organize videotapes instead of doing actual script work, then immediately re-tasked to get chai tea, and she leaves barefoot having no idea where her shoes are.

Liz · Cerie:Cerie asks 'where are my shoes?' before going to get chai tea, and Liz screams 'Just go barefoot!'

Cerie:Oh, no, I don't actually. They kind of just stay up on their own. See?

Cerie:No, but I don't actually want to work in television. Career-wise, I'm just gonna marry rich and then design handbags.

Cerie:Oh, because you have, like, one of those body image things?

Cerie · Liz:Good, because I was gonna say you still have a good body. / 'Well, thank you, but this isn't about me.' / Like, how did you dress before you were married?

Cerie · Liz:Cerie: 'Oh, for some reason I thought you had, like, three kids. I just assumed it was kids [causing the food stains].'

Liz · Cerie:Check this out. I think Jack is dating Condi Rice. / Oh, God, that's huge!

Liz · Cerie · Writers:The office throws a surprise party, but it turns out to be for Cerie's engagement, not Liz's birthday — Liz thanks them for the birthday fuss before realizing

Cerie · Pete · Liz:Hey, guess what, everyone? I'm engaged. / Hey, this isn't gonna change the way you dress or eat lollipops, is it? / No. / Oh, then congratulations.

Cerie · Liz Lemon:Cerie lets the make-up people do her make-up: 'They say it's fun for them.' / 'She's like a Barbie.'

Cerie:We both wanna have babies while it's still cool.

Cerie:If it's a girl, Bookcase. Or Sandstorm. Or maybe Hat. But that's more of a boy's name.

Cerie · Liz · Cerie:If you wait too long, you could be like... 50 at your kid's graduation. / 50's not that old, Cerie. / Oh, I'm sorry. Are you 50 now?

Liz Lemon · Cerie · Jack Donaghy:Liz sees Cerie in a wedding dress. Jack: 'Absolutely not, young lady.'

Kenneth · Cerie:Kenneth: 'Jeez, I hope those two work it out.' Cerie: 'Relax, man. As long as they're yapping at each other, we're not working. Enjoy it.'

Cerie · Liz:Cerie writes down January 17th — 'Just like every other day.'

Cerie:He keeps sending me all these flowers to apologize, but he's still insisting on having a Greek Orthodox wedding. But I really disagree with the church's stance on Cyprus.

Cerie:I'd marry Toofer 'cause he's classy. I'd kill Lutz. Sorry, Lutz. The thought that you would do anything to me is awesome. And I'd boff Kenneth.

Kenneth · Cerie · Kenneth:Well, it's like Dr. Laura Schlessinger says. Women should be more accommodating to their men, for the health of the marriage. / She sounds smart. Is she really a doctor? / No, I think she's kind of like Dr Pepper.

Cerie:Thanks, Kenneth. You give really good advice.

Jenna · Kenneth · Cerie:Kenneth! / What? How dare you. / You're so weird. / Tell Liz I left, okay? And if you want to tell those guys upstairs that we made out, it's all right with me.

Cerie:Cerie announces she 'totally did it in the prize van' with a DJ and 'I'll pretty much do anything to someone that's famous.'

Cerie · Liz Lemon:Cerie says Floyd called; when asked how it's going she says 'Not great' — then reveals she was relieved thinking he might break up with her

Cerie · Liz Lemon · Jenna Maroney:Liz tells her writers to avoid her, and Cerie immediately asks Liz and Jenna to be bridesmaids — 'Is it hard for you because you broke up with that Floyd guy?'

Jenna Maroney · Liz Lemon · Cerie:Jenna can't fit in the dress and asks Liz to try it on — 'You're closer, Liz. You do it.' Liz tries it on and says with forced cheerfulness: 'Fun... this is fun.'

Store Employee 2 · Liz Lemon · Cerie:Another store employee tells Liz the wedding dress looks ugly on her, tells Cerie not to buy it: 'You'll thank me.'

Cerie:I wear tiger orgasm.

Cerie:Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly?

Cerie:Is it like that time they found my grandpa at the bus station?

Cerie · Liz · Cerie:Wow. Coffee guy? That'll really make your ex-husband jealous. / Cerie, for the last time, I have never been married. / That's the spirit!

Cerie · Cerie · Cerie · Aidan · Cerie · Aidan · Cerie · Cerie:Hey, Liz, this is Aidan. / Guess you're not the only cougar in town. / Aidan's a freshman at NYU. / Give me change for a soda? / You just had one. / Whatever. / No, don't you 'whatever' me. / Hey! What did I say about you wearing your Heelys inside? / Aidan! Wait up. / Aidan!

Cerie:Cerie's unsolicited birth control advice: 'I think you're supposed to take all of them, like, in a row.'

Cerie:Cerie describes a nightclub called 'Aquarium' where 'all the women are in a glass room in the center of the dance floor, and all the guys just watch and feed them.'

Liz Lemon · Cerie:Cerie, is my phone ringing? / It is. Wow, you have, like, dog ears. / So are you going to... Okay.

Liz · Cerie:It's called a 'Tankoort', Cerie. You may have seen it in Us Weekly being worn by Dame Judi Dench... 's mother.

Cerie · Liz Lemon:Also, Pete and Tracy's wives are in your office. Paula is Pete's wife and Angie is the black one and... / Okay, Cerie, I got it.

Cerie · Liz Lemon:I haven't seen my fiancé in seven months. / Cerie, I have two words for you: robot warning. / Okay, that catch-phrase needs a little work.

Liz · Cerie:Cerie to Liz: 'Do I look okay?' 'That's exactly how you look.'

Liz Lemon · Cerie:as a frequent leaver of drunken messages, i can tell you no good can come of this. / as a frequent receiver of drunk messages, they are not cute, even when they're from liz.

Jack Donaghy · Liz Lemon · Cerie:good lord, i've lemoned the situation with nancy! / 'lemoned'? that's not a thing people are saying now, is it? / cerie? / lemoned. doing it awesome.

Liz Lemon · Cerie:i mean, who am i to tell jenna that she doesn't know how to be happy when i can't even figure out / stop so bored.

Liz Lemon · Cerie · Jenna Maroney · James Franco:did i do that right? / yeah. / that was super bitchy. / you can't just break up with me. i'll sue you for breach of contract! / oh, you're being such a non pillow right now!

Cerie · Liz Lemon:Sue and I already talked about it. / Why? You know Sue says stuff about you behind your back. / She always says stuff to me about you. / Wait, what? / I was making my thing up. / You bitch!

Cerie · Liz Lemon · Jenna Maroney:Cerie's fiancé was captured by pirates on his dad's yacht but was rescued 'thanks to the A-Team' — and 'he has a different energy now. He's quieter.'

Cerie:'He has a different energy now. He's quieter.' — Cerie describing her post-pirate-captivity fiancé as if he's had a mild personality shift

Cerie:Cerie says the schedule is filling up 'now that Aris is finally getting over his Stockholm syndrome'

Cerie:'You guys may have to walk down the aisle with some pirates.'

Liz Lemon · Cerie:His name is Carol. Like Carroll O'Connor from Nick at Nite. / Exactly, Cerie. Thank you.

Frank Rossitano · Cerie · Other Writers:Frank reads a breaking news chyron: 'Ritchie and Liz spotted in tree. Eyewitnesses report K-I-S-S-I-N-G.' / 'For more, let's go to NBC's Andrea Mitchell.' / 'Thank you, Brian. Slut.'

Liz Lemon · Cerie:Why are you giggling? It's very misleading. / It's just... Mr. Lutz is wearing the most hilarious t-shirt.

Cerie · Liz Lemon:Whoever standing next to him, it's stupid! That guy is stupid. / Now, she is. / Now they are. / Now I were.

Liz Lemon · Cerie:Cerie, did you not bring my computer down? / You said you were writing. I've only seen you use that computer to look at pictures of Nate Berkus.

Liz Lemon · Cerie:Cerie, did you not bring my computer down? You said you were writing. I've only seen you use that computer to look at pictures of Nate Perkins.

Cerie:Oh, my God, that's what Chris kept quoting this morning during our love... making.

Liz Lemon · Hazel · Cerie:Liz tells the male writers to keep their eyes down because women are showing skin in warm weather, then tells Hazel to button up and puts Cerie in a 'soup poncho'

Cerie:Cerie agrees to do the MacBeth sketch but says she needs to be 'out in time for my band to be on Letterman'

Liz Lemon · Cerie:Well, Jenna, everyone knows how you're always so chill. So, of course, you won't freak out when you see that Cerie is wearing that exact same shirt as a dress. The belt is a baby's necktie.

Cerie · Liz Lemon:Cerie tells Liz 'It's inspiring to see that a woman in her 30s can still find true love.' Liz corrects her: 'I'm 42, Cerie.' Cerie responds: 'I don't know what that is.'

Cerie · Liz Lemon:The award description: 'Congratulations on being named one of the 80 Under 80, honoring women in entertainment who aren't Betty White!'

Cerie:The ceremony will be broadcast on 'Lifetime... oh, dot com, backslash garbagefile'

Cerie:Or Pete, but he went to a line producers' convention in Albany. I saw him pack a wig.

Cerie · Lutz · TGS staff:The Blimpie's/lunch picker conflict: Cerie reveals it may be Season 8 alphabetically — the new picker would be 'A'...

Cerie:Cerie announces 'technically this is season 8 since the show was canceled two weeks ago'

Liz Lemon · Cerie:Liz gives Cerie the lunch order — Nobu 57 and Make My Cake in Harlem — then 'I'll be back. I hope.'