When ditzy receptionist Cerie spreads news of her engagement to a filthy rich Greek heir, Liz confronts her own marital and maternal status. Meanwhile, emotionally hardened Jack softens due to "mommy issues."
Network television finally lets Liz Lemon breathe with 64 jokes in 23 minutes.
Directed by Scott Ellis, Michael Engler · Written by Brett Baer, Jack Burditt, Dave Finkel
WAR
105.9
Wins Above Replacement
“The Baby Show” ranks #131 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 91.6 — Elite. The episode packs 77 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Liz landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Liz: I stole a baby, Jack. I'm taking a half day.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kenneth: My mother always told me that even when things seemed bad, there's someone else who's having a worse day. Like being stung by a bee or getting a splinter. Or being chained to a wall in someone's sex dungeon.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: Yeah, that's right! You cut Pop's balls off! And left him in the street to die!
Jack Escalation Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Cerie: If it's a girl, Bookcase. Or Sandstorm. Or maybe Hat. But that's more of a boy's name.
Cerie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see a doctor. I keep pooping during sex.
Jack Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 77 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Liz · Cerie · Writers: The office throws a surprise party, but it turns out to be for Cerie's engagement, not Liz's birthday — Liz thanks them for the birthday fuss before realizing
Cerie · Pete · Liz: Hey, guess what, everyone? I'm engaged. / Hey, this isn't gonna change the way you dress or eat lollipops, is it? / No. / Oh, then congratulations.
Liz: Liz interrupts Cerie's Whitney Houston birthday serenade mid-song to announce there's an antique car show in the plaza
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack: Jonathan, these cheap phones keep on shattering!
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jack Donaghy · Jonathan: Jack storms in: 'Who let 407 through? Jonathan, we have drills for this!'
Jack: Business doesn't get me down. Business gets me off.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Liz: But Dateline has jackets.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Liz Lemon · Jack Donaghy: Liz's problem with Jack: the writers want TGS jackets. 'But Dateline has jackets.'
Jack: Lemon, do you realize that your little show accounts for 3% of our revenue but takes up 90% of my time?
Jack Character Comedy Observational Liz · Pete: Wow, he's a little bit of a stress eater, huh? / He puts up with so much.
Liz Pete Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Tracy: Everybody at this party is a Jedi. We must get our freak on while our fruit is a-plentiful.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist Tracy · Liz: How would you like it if I did an impression of you, Liz Lemon? Hi, I'm Liz Lemon! I like to wear man shirts. Watch me skateboard.
Tracy Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Liz · Tracy: I don't skateboard. / Hurts, doesn't it?
Liz Tracy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Liz Lemon · Tracy Jordan: Liz: 'I don't skateboard.' / Tracy: 'Hurts, doesn't it?'
Liz · Tracy: Tracy, stop tasering him. / See?
Cerie · Liz Lemon: Cerie lets the make-up people do her make-up: 'They say it's fun for them.' / 'She's like a Barbie.'
Writer · Writer: She's like a Barbie. / Oh, sorry, my babysitter got jury duty. I think I'm going to kill myself.
Cerie: We both wanna have babies while it's still cool.
Cerie Character Comedy Observational Cerie: If it's a girl, Bookcase. Or Sandstorm. Or maybe Hat. But that's more of a boy's name.
Cerie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: I mean, there are other things in life. Like having a career. And working. And...having a job. And working.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Cerie · Liz · Cerie: If you wait too long, you could be like... 50 at your kid's graduation. / 50's not that old, Cerie. / Oh, I'm sorry. Are you 50 now?
Jenna · Liz: Paul Newman or Robert Redford? / I've told you 1,000 times, Newman. Because I enjoy his salad dressings and lemonade.
Jenna Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz Lemon: Liz's baby panic monologue: 'What if my junk goes bad? What if Cerie is right?'
Jenna: Like that hot dancer Madonna used to have Lourdes.
Jenna Absurdist Character Comedy Kenneth · Jack · Kenneth: Good morning, Mr. Donaghy! / Go to hell. / No, thank you.
Kenneth: My mother always told me that even when things seemed bad, there's someone else who's having a worse day. Like being stung by a bee or getting a splinter. Or being chained to a wall in someone's sex dungeon.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: But to that woman, I'm always gonna be the punk kid who cried when Pop was run over by a mail truck.
Jack Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Mama, you carried me for nine months. Let me carry you now.
Kenneth Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack: I bought my mother a lovely retirement home. In Florida. With a tea garden and fake rocks made of foam because she falls down a lot.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack: Got everything she needs except a phone. I told those people, I made it clear, do not give her a phone.
Jack Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Jack: It's her. It's always her. [Phone rings, Jack is terrified]
Jack Reaction Beat Character Comedy Callback Dr. Leo Spaceman: This is Dr. Leo Spaceman. I'm also listed under meth addiction and child psychiatry.
Writer: Our kid would have strong, flat feet. And if you choose me, I agree not to take my shirt off. But I do like to get yelled at during sex.
Writer Cringe/Discomfort Absurdist Liz · Writer: You're disgusting. / Yeah, that's a good start.
Liz Writer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Liz · Pete: Didn't you have a vasectomy? / No, I just told my wife I did. / And she doesn't get pregnant how? / I fake it.
Liz Pete Dark/Subversive Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Crew Member/Stranger: Ms. Lemon... Liz... I'd like to carry your child if I might. I have a small ferret farm about 60 miles north of the city. It's not much, but it is self-sufficient. I can get cable if you want, 'cause I know how much you like the TV. Sometimes I watch you watching it.
Crew Member · Unknown: Liz walks away after the ferret farm proposal and the crew member asks 'I'd kind of like him to stay.' [Reaction beat — crew member is invited to stay while Liz is asked to leave]
Writer · Writer: Oprah and Steadman are the same person. / That's why he/she won't run for president.
Tracy: This is untoward. This is not toward!
Tracy Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Josh: Jack Donaghy is gonna kill me and then he's gonna kill you. And then he's gonna fold us up in a pizza and eat us.
Liz · Bobby (Sound Guy) · Liz: Everybody, stop working right now! I don't wanna have sex with any of you. I have plenty of time to have a baby. And I am not looking for sperm donors. / But do you still want a sound hook-up so you can listen to rehearsal? / Yeah, thanks.
Jack: Josh Gerard's father is an assassin with the Russian mafia. They call him El Matador.
Jack Absurdist Character Comedy Jack · Tracy: For being so understanding, I'm sending you our new super top secret invisible motorcycle. / For reals? / [laughing] For realses.
Jack: Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see a doctor. I keep pooping during sex.
Jack Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: I should have known this was going to be a problem when I decided to mentor a woman.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Jack Donaghy: Jack: 'I should have known this was going to be a problem when I decided to mentor a woman.'
Jack: Don't say you're the only man I'll ever love. Even babies know that's creepy.
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Jack: If your child is a terrific hockey player and a gifted flautist, don't make them play the National Anthem on the flute in front of their teammates.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Liz · Jack: Maybe her heart broke because she spent 20 years raising you and you're a total ingrate. / That's exactly what she said.
Liz Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Liz Lemon · Jack Donaghy: Liz: 'Maybe her heart broke because she spent 20 years raising you and you're a total ingrate.' / Jack: 'That's exactly what she said.'
Jack · Jack's Mother (Colleen): Hello, Mother. So nice to hear your voice... I know that things have been difficult for you lately and I was thinking, you carried me for nine months. Let me carry you now. / Well, right back at you, Colleen!
Jack: Yeah, that's right! You cut Pop's balls off! And left him in the street to die!
Jack Escalation Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Liz Lemon · Cerie · Jack Donaghy: Liz sees Cerie in a wedding dress. Jack: 'Absolutely not, young lady.'
Tracy · Liz: Bebe Jackson's condo? / No. / A children's clothing store in Dubai? / Stop guessing!
Tracy Liz Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: Russian mobs, invisible motorcycles... Sex pooping.
Tracy Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Liz: Are you insane? What are you gonna do when Tracy asks Jack for his invisible motorcycle?
Liz Callback Escalation Callback Jack · Liz: The Jack/Liz phone impersonation sequence: both characters on the phone, speaking in sync, finishing each other's sentences: 'If I mention anything crazy... like an invisible motorcycle... it means I'm off my meds... and should be ignored.'
Jack Liz Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Liz: Or... I could call him... as Christopher Walken.
Liz Absurdist Character Comedy Liz · Jenna: Jenna, did you tell Life and Style that your favorite book is the Koran? / I just wanted to sound smart.
Liz Lemon · Jenna: Jenna tells Life and Style that her favorite book is the Koran: 'I just wanted to sound smart.'
Makeup Woman · Liz · Jenna · Liz · Liz: I heard you were baby crazy. / No. / Yes, she is. / Please. / Oh, for the love of—nuts.
Liz Lemon · Crew: Liz accidentally holds the baby and zones out into baby-talk mode. The crew watch her. 'How did I get home? Why didn't you say something?'
Liz: Who's the cutest baby in the world? [Liz walks around cooing, having completely forgotten her earlier resistance]
Liz Character Comedy Reaction Beat Liz: How did I get home? Why didn't you say something?
Liz Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Jack: Please don't hurt me. I can't help it. It just pours out of me. I'm Jack Donaghy. I'm important. I just bought the moon. Oh, my God. I'm doing it again.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Jack: Mother, I love you too. But living together is not gonna work out for me. / Yes, I went this morning. / I don't know, regular consistency?
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Liz: She will outlive you. She's like Castro.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Jack: And when you're done with that, call my wife and tell her I'm sorry about what happened with me and Keith and them.
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Liz · Jack: One minute I was holding the baby in make-up and then suddenly... It was like highway hypnosis. You know, when you pull into your driveway but you don't remember driving home? / Oh, right right. / And you have someone else's baby in your car.
Liz Jack Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jack: Oh, yes. I'm a big fan of kidnapping. Especially by my middle management.
Jack Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: Number two, I could be very happy with a baby that looks nothing like me and didn't bake in my oven.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz: I stole a baby, Jack. I'm taking a half day.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: That's going up. [Jack's reaction to Liz's self-empowerment speech]
Jack Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Jack Donaghy: Jack hangs a framed placard of Liz's quote: 'That's going up.'
Kenneth · Kenneth's Mother: I think my boss, Mr. Jack Donaghy, wishes you were his mother. / Isn't that something, mother? / Yes, Kenneth, that's sweet. / Do you have me on speakerphone again? / Yes, Ma'am! It's just like Charlie's Angels!
Kenneth: Kenneth has his mother on speakerphone. 'Yes, Ma'am! It's just like Charlie's Angels!'
Kenneth's Mother · Kenneth: Oh, by the way, did you get your old Halloween decorations I sent you? / Oh, yes, thank you! I'm looking at the kooky skeleton right now. I love it! / You're the best mother in the whole world! / Okay, calm down, dear.