Verna

Liz Lemon · Meat Cat:Liz's dream: giving birth to 'Meat Cat,' the Cheesy Blasters mascot, who announces 'I'm what's inside ya! Razzmatazz!'

Liz Lemon:Liz wakes from the Meat Cat nightmare and mutters, 'I got to eat better.'

Pete Hornberger:Pete is at the office at an odd hour just to have 'a moment of peace and quiet between home and work.'

Kenneth Parcell · Pete Hornberger:Kenneth interrupts Pete's peace to tell him a story about his friend's cat, confusing who owns the cat: 'His name is Mr. Wiggles, and his cat's name is Benson.'

Pete Hornberger:Jack interrupts, and Pete says, 'I guess that's the end of Pete and Kenneth time.'

Jenna Maroney · Liz Lemon:Jenna's mother Verna was caught trying to use an OxyContin prescription bottle as ID at building security.

Jenna Maroney:Jenna describes Verna sitting on a curb chain-smoking and waiting — 'just like the day I was born.'

Jenna Maroney:Jenna calls herself 'a gorgeous, naturally-blonde ATM.'

Liz Lemon · Jenna Maroney:Liz begins to offer her mother wisdom, but it devolves into an apparently real song: 'Don't go to sleep with a frown in your pocket / go into your yard and tie it on a rocket / shoot it to the moon...'

Tracy Jordan:Tracy explains that a fire broke out at his house because he left his 'Sith Lord cloak too near my mom's shrine to Italian Jesus.'

Tracy Jordan:Tracy asks if the firemen were the ones 'from the calendar.'

Jack Donaghy:Jack says he's 'just taking a survey to gauge general interest' after appearing to offer his guest house to Tracy.

Liz Lemon:Liz reveals she bought the apartment upstairs when she thought she was getting a talk show, and plans to combine them when she either 'hits the lottery or gets married.'

Frank Rossitano:Frank pre-apologizes for 'clogging your tub, sink, and toilet.'

Jack Donaghy:Jack begins: 'Mothers. You can't kill them...' and the scene cuts before he finishes.

Jenna Maroney · Verna:Flashback: Young Jenna in a Gator Hater commercial being directed to get closer to an actual gator after an 11-hour drive.

Jack Donaghy:Jack reveals he developed a presentation in 2002 specifically to limit his mother Colleen's Christmas visit — she tried to extend it to Martin Luther King Day.

Jack Donaghy:Jack refers to MLK Day as 'that day in January when the post office is closed' — attributing this description to his mother Colleen.

Jack Donaghy:Jack's three-step method for handling a difficult mother: 'Say no. Talk low. Let her go.'

Frank Rossitano · Liz Lemon:Frank is discovered smoking in Liz's apartment, and Liz lectures him; Frank responds: 'Wow. An old white lady yelling at me while wearing microwavable socks. This is so different than living with my mom.'

Liz Lemon:Liz defends junk food by citing the Diff'rent Strokes episode about 'Dudley's dad' as scientific evidence that smoking is bad.

Liz Lemon:Liz admits she owns a DVD compilation of 'fat ladies crying' specifically to watch Dr. Oz.

Liz Lemon:Liz's junk food packaging reads: 'Manufactured in a facility that also processes food.'

Liz Lemon:Liz reads the label and says, 'This is what Meat Cat spoke of.'

Frank Rossitano:Frank predicts Liz will get 'one of those little throat radios' and be 'buried in a piano crate' as consequences of her junk food habit.

Frank Rossitano:Frank agrees to quit smoking together with Liz, then adds: 'But if doing this restores my sex drive, the plus-sized ladies in the mail room have you to blame.'

Verna:Verna's apology includes: 'I know it's always for something stupid, like paying the medical bills that time my boyfriend broke his tailbone off in that cage match.'

Jenna Maroney · Verna:The Verna-Jenna conversation devolves into both of them speaking in increasingly quiet whispers while Verna asks 'Does somebody have a gun?'

Jenna Maroney:After Verna's emotional speech, Jenna breaks down: 'Don't go, mommy. I'll stand closer to the gator.'

Kenneth Parcell:Kenneth arrives late with a 'funny story' about a subway passenger he briefly thought had no fingers.

Liz Lemon:Liz announces she signed up for a service called 'Noofud' that delivers 'humanely-portioned organic meals.'

Liz Lemon:Liz brags about taking the elevator 'all the way up here without losing my breath,' as if this is an athletic achievement.

Pete Hornberger:Pete reveals: 'While you were talking, I put a thumbtack in my neck. Makes me feel something.'

Liz Lemon:Liz describes her upcoming 'noofud' lunch: 'Autumn tempeh risotto with salmon-rubbed streusel chunks.'

Liz Lemon:Liz describes her upcoming Noofud lunch: 'Autumn tempeh risotto with salmon-rubbed streusel chunks' — followed by a reaction beat as she apparently receives and smells/sees the actual food.

Jenna Maroney:Jenna compares her experience with Verna to 'a John Mayer song' — meaning perfect.

Jack Donaghy:Jack insists people don't change, citing Colleen: 'In the late '90s I thought Colleen had become a better person. It turns out she had a tumor pressing on her brain's pleasure center. A tumor those quack doctors removed.'

Verna · Jack Donaghy:Verna meets Jack and immediately says Jenna was right: 'He does look like he'd be great between those two things we were talking about.'

Jack Donaghy · Verna:Verna's earrings prompt: 'Something's killing all the birds in my neighborhood.'

Verna · Jenna Maroney:Verna's response to her daughter's upcoming birthday: 'Oh my god. I am the worst mother.' / 'No.' / 'Yes, I am.' / 'Don't say that.' — then immediately pivots to: 'Could a bad mom have raised a daughter who was engaged to a congressman when she was 16?'

Verna:Verna tells Jack her surprise party plan: 'I knew it was her birthday. I'm throwing her a surprise party, and it's at a fancy restaurant, so wear something nice. Like a pair of white jeans and a Dan Marino jersey or something, 'kay?'

Liz Lemon:Liz describes her withdrawal symptoms: 'Terrible. I have a headache, a stomachache. Last night I spent an hour trying to remember how to spell the word height.'

Frank Rossitano:Frank claims to be fine without cigarettes: 'I have a very strong will. Rossitanos have refused to fight in seven wars.'

Liz Lemon · Pete Hornberger:Liz decides to set up a nanny cam to catch Frank smoking, saying 'I still have his old cigarette pack. I will leave it out tonight as a trap.'

Pete Hornberger:Pete reveals he has a nanny cam, explaining 'Just like the one our nanny used to catch me watching her sleep.'

Unknown dancer · Party guests:A man arrives expecting to be paid to dance for the Atlanta Hawks to eat dinner — greeted instead with a surprise birthday party.

Jack Donaghy:Jack recounts that his mother once won a radio contest to announce Red Sox starting lineups — and used the platform to make Jack promise never to put her in a home, with Carl Yastrzemski watching.

Jack Donaghy:Liz tells Jack this isn't about him; Jack responds: 'Speaking of issues, I had a dream the other night that we were married and I gave birth to a cartoon cat, so...'

Verna:Verna's public speech at the party: 'In my life I've been a lot of things — a liar. A dental hygienist.'

Verna:Verna explains she missed the mother-daughter pageant because she 'was drinking pretty heavily then — on account of my bad knee.'

Verna:Verna further explains she missed the pageant because she 'drove her jet ski into that great big bunch of moss.'

Jack Donaghy · Jenna Maroney:Jack watches the mother-daughter duet with visible skepticism; Jenna asks 'How are you not moved by this?' Jack replies: 'Because I'm listening to the words.'

Verna:Verna visits Jack's office and says: 'Nice office, Jack. I feel like I'm in the Martha Stewart section of Kmart.'

Verna:Verna reveals she 'did not drive my home all the way to New York City just to kiss my daughter's ass' — implying she drove her house (a mobile home) to New York.

Verna:Verna pitches her reality show concept, touting: 'This show will have laughter, tears, topless arguments. Infections caused by jacuzzi water.'

Jack Donaghy · Verna:Jack correctly guesses Verna has a tattoo of 'a mermaid doing it with Captain Morgan.'

Jenna Maroney:Jenna proudly reports that Verna has 'made a full 360' (instead of a 180).

Jack Donaghy:Reaction beat: Jack's expression when Jenna says Verna made a 'full 360.' He doesn't correct her.

Jack Donaghy:Jack appears struck by 'Verna's made a full 360' — he clearly recognizes the geometric truth of this, foreshadowing his private deal.

Jenna Maroney · Jack Donaghy:Jack visits Jenna's office and she has new earrings — 'My mom just made them. So they still might have some pigeon mites. But she said those can't affect humans.' She then starts repeating herself: 'affect-affect humans-humans.'

Liz Lemon:Liz opens the surveillance video in her morning clothes and cheerfully says 'Good morning, dummies' as if starting a show.

Liz Lemon · Frank Rossitano:The video reveals Liz and Frank in matching 'Night Spanx' — confirmed when both simultaneously say 'They're called Night Spanx.'

Liz Lemon · Frank Rossitano:The video reveals Liz is sleepwalking — and sleep-eating: 'She's not sleepwalking. Oh my god. I'm sleep eating.'

Frank Rossitano:Frank: 'You tried to take away your release, Liz, but nature finds a way. Did you learn nothing from Jurassic Park?'

Frank Rossitano:They watch the video and Frank's reaction: 'Okay, I don't mean to be the black guy at the movie, but you better move, girl!'

Liz Lemon:Sleep-Liz appears to have ordered a pizza in her sleep, which they watch delivered.

Liz Lemon:The video seems to reveal Liz smoking a cigarette — but it turns out she's eating the cigarette: 'I'm eating it.'

Frank Rossitano · Denise:Frank is caught on tape with Denise from the mail room at night, telling her 'I need you, Denise. I'm trying to quit smoking, and my mom's not here.' Denise responds: 'I'm your mama now, baby.'

Frank Rossitano · Denise · Liz Lemon:Frank and Denise are seen on video performing the 'don't go to sleep with a frown in your pocket' song together, with Liz watching in horror: 'This is the worst thing I've ever seen.'

Frank Rossitano:Frank concludes the Frank-Denise tape segment with: 'I love you, Denise mommy.'

Jack Donaghy · Verna:Jack tells Verna: 'You're trying to bribe me into being a good mom.' Verna: 'Well, it is all just about money, isn't it, Verna?' / 'Well, maybe for me. But this is emotional for you, isn't it?'

Verna:Verna negotiates Jack up to '$3 grand a visit and a rain tarp for my washer and dryer.'

Jack Donaghy · Verna:Jack firmly tells Verna 'Stop stroking my palm with your middle finger. This is a business transaction.'

Liz Lemon:Callback to the Diff'rent Strokes smoking episode: 'Dudley's father went outside and lit a cigarette. In the next episode—' (cut off)

Pete Hornberger:Pete is revealed to be spending his mornings biting his nails as a stress release — doing so enthusiastically during a meeting.

Jenna Maroney:Jenna announces: 'Verna's coming back for Mother's Day. We're gonna do a duet of I'll Make Love to You at a children's hospital.'

Jenna Maroney · Jack Donaghy:Jenna tells Jack 'So I guess you were 100% wrong about everything. Think about that, Jack.' — delivered without irony, while Jack secretly knows he orchestrated the whole arrangement.

Jack Donaghy · Meat Cat:Meat Cat appears in Jack's office and says 'You're a good man, Jack Donaghy.' Jack replies: 'Thanks, Meat Cat.'

Unknown writer:The tag scene features what appears to be a TGS writers' pitch: 'I've got an idea for a show called Doctor. About Richard Doctor, who's a piano player.'

Unknown writers:Tag scene continues: 'Did you know the Today Show used to have a monkey on it? Hasn't been this good since.' / 'I think that chimp used to drive a truck himself.'