C.C. and Jack face a block in their relationship when C.C. decides to go public about the affair but Jack refuses. Meanwhile, Liz struggles to keep both Tracy and Jenna happy when the two find it hard to share the spotlight, while Frank makes fun of Toofer's Harvard education with bizarre results.
Absurdist chaos drives 71 jokes in 23 minutes — barely missed elite tier.
Directed by Michael Engler · Written by Ron Weiner
WAR
61.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Secrets And Lies” ranks #118 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.8 — Elite. The episode packs 71 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Tracy landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Liz: Oh, that word bums me out unless it's between the words 'meat' and 'pizza.'
Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: It's like seeing a dog wearing clothes.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Liz: I ate a 3 Musketeers bar for breakfast this morning, and this bra is held together with tape.
Liz Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: We had a longer invite list, but we thought for the sake of discretion... We had to eliminate anybody with any influence or connections or stature, so that pretty much left you.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Tracy: Perfect. Just when I get back from Maiden Voyage, Newark's first offshore gentlemen's barge.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 71 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jack: Don't worry. It's too early for the creative types, and I sent my assistant to a nonexistent Italian bakery out in Queens.
Jack Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Assistant: I can't go back there without sfogliatelle!
Jack: Take off your pants suit.
Jack Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Liz: I gave up caffeine, so I've been going to bed at 5:30.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Jack: Lakeesha Gutierrez-Arafat
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist C.C.: It's actually a rape whistle but the whistle part fell off, and I just liked how it looked so I kept it.
C.C. Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: 'It' being business. Of course. I call the movie 'Risky Business' 'Risky It.' Because 'it' means business.
Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Tracy: I went to Harvard. I did stand-up there this weekend.
Tracy Character Comedy Misdirection Tracy: Well, I got a squeezer from an Indian girl on a bunk bed, so I think I got the full Harvard experience.
Tracy Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz: Oh, that word bums me out unless it's between the words 'meat' and 'pizza.'
Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: This corporation has a very strict 'bros before hos' policy.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Jack: Okay, if I can't say 'lovers,' you can't say 'feelings.'
Jack Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Jack: And try not to dress like a small-town lesbian.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jack: Well, Lemon, that was a good chat. Good luck with that alopecia problem of yours.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz: Oh, come on! I don't have that. Very hairy.
Liz Reaction Beat Character Comedy Jenna Character Comedy Reaction Beat Jenna: Best Actress in a Movie Based on a Musical Based on a Movie!
Jenna Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: Like where are the french fries I did not ask for? You guys need to anticipate me.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Liz: Oh, no. I talked to him last time when he wanted to change his name to 'Wise Greasy Bastard.'
Liz Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Liz: Oh, monsters, why did I create you?
Liz Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Tracy · Shaquille O'Neal: Boy, I hope we rescue the Starfish King on this adventure. It'll be a slam dunk!
Tracy: Would you call what we did last night 'sex'?
Tracy Cringe/Discomfort Absurdist Tracy: A million dollars, a yellow Bentley, and nothing.
Tracy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Tracy: Maybe I should just give up and try this crystal meth I've been hearing so much about.
Tracy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Liz Absurdist Setup/Punchline Tracy: I spent nine months in Japan shooting 'Samurai, I-Am-Urai.'
Tracy Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Tracy: It's when you run up on a lady on the streets and pull her tube top down while your friend videotapes it. It's considered a crime here. Thanks a lot, Puritans.
Tracy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Tracy: I'm just kidding. I know he doesn't care what humans do.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Liz: Props has an old basketball trophy we could solder some wings onto.
Liz Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Jenna: You're my rock. It is amazing how grounded I've been able to stay despite my célébrité.
Jenna Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Tracy: What's up, dude? I went to Harvard.
Tracy Running Gag Character Comedy Callback Kenneth: I lived in Lowell House and was a member of the Signet Society.
Kenneth Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Tracy: Your lame thing is on his pants.
Tracy Character Comedy Reaction Beat Tracy: Perfect. Just when I get back from Maiden Voyage, Newark's first offshore gentlemen's barge.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Tracy: Then you can check out my award. Ha ha ha! Banter!
Tracy Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Josh: No, don't blame him. You're the one who rewards his bad behavior. You give him anything he wants.
Josh Character Comedy Observational Jack: We had a longer invite list, but we thought for the sake of discretion... We had to eliminate anybody with any influence or connections or stature, so that pretty much left you.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Jack: Then we added Kenneth so you would have somebody to talk to.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Kenneth: What's your favorite pizza topping? Mine's plain, but I like others.
Kenneth Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Tracy: Shelley Long, you're truly an inspiration to me!
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist Tracy: wanizame atakku! Shark attack!
Tracy Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Liz: But I did hear the janitor saying your boobs looked good.
Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: Aah! The squirrel! It's not afraid of people!
Jenna Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Callback C.C.: It's like we share a brain.
C.C. Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy C.C.: You can't pass, you hillbilly!
C.C. Character Comedy Escalation Jack: I'm-a the plumber. I'm here-a to fix the washing machine.
Jack Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Liz: I ate a 3 Musketeers bar for breakfast this morning, and this bra is held together with tape.
Liz Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: Oh, God, it was my birthday yesterday.
Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Frank: He didn't leave. He's a submarine commander running silent.
Frank Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack: $5 million each? That's NBA sexual-assault money.
Jack Dark/Subversive Observational ★ Rewatch Jack: It's like seeing a dog wearing clothes.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch C.C.: I should never have listened to a woman who tapes her bra together.
C.C. Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Liz: She told an NBC tour that she was going to get them all pregnant.
Liz Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Sacha: And your name is probably something like Melissa.
Sacha Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Patrice: Oh, Melissa? Your face is on the phone. Soccer practice is over and you need to pick it up.
Patrice Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Jack: How do you and Mary Matalin make it work? She's a brilliant, patriotic Republican strategist, and you, let's face it, are a pinko nutjob.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Carville: Even Desert Storm.
Carville Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Carville Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Carville Running Gag Physical/Slapstick Callback Liz: Your online fan club? That's me. I made Frank set that up as a punishment after he farted in my chair.
Liz Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Liz: And this award you just got? It's a cookie.
Liz Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Liz: I lie awake at night wondering what fresh hell tomorrow will bring.
Liz Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Toofer · Frank: Dude, you got a frohawk, man. Do you think you're better than us?
Frank: I've got a new nickname for Josh. Dr. Haircut.
Frank Character Comedy Escalation Kenneth: I don't know why it was so urgent you have it before noon.
Kenneth Character Comedy Setup/Punchline C.C.: I'm 43, and you have great hair.
C.C. Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jack: She's my liberal, hippy-dippy mama. My groovy chick. My old lady.
Jack Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Executive: I gave to NPR last year.
Executives: I'm gay. I'm black.
Executive: I murdered my wife.
