As part of his community service, Tracy must coach a little league team. All goes well until Jack takes interest in the team and turmoil starts from there. Meanwhile, Liz is asked out on a date by Jamie, the new coffee boy, who thinks Liz is actually younger than she truly is.
Absurdist character comedy hits 83 with 3.11 jokes-per-minute sustained throughout.
Directed by Michael Engler · Written by John Riggi
WAR
122.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Cougars” ranks #108 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 95.2 — Elite. The episode packs 85 scored jokes at 3.9 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.4 on impact, with Jack landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Kenneth: Sir, conditions have deteriorated. I made Demarquis captain like you said. But having a kid from Trinidad in charge made the Latinos real mad. And they all seem to really hate my grandpa 'cause they keep yelling, 'Kill Whitey.' And I'm like, 'What do you think you are, alcohol?'
Kenneth Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Tracy: At our first practice, they asked me what the sun was.
Tracy Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jack: Where did you two meet? An Amber Alert?
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: You can't wear blue in Knuckle Beach, which is hard because jeans go with everything.
Tracy Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Tracy: You'll hear all I have to say about Jack Donaghy in my tell-all book, 'Betrayal'... colon... 'What Really Happened With My Baseball Team'... comma... 'Disaster at Knuckle Beach'... question mark.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 85 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Frank: Liz, Lutz and I are going to walk around Times Square and pretend to be foreign. I am from Hamburg, ja! Want to come?
Frank Character Comedy Absurdist Liz · Tracy: Liz declining the animals-only strip club invitation by asking: 'Does that mean the animals strip or the animals are the customers?'
Liz Tracy Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon · Unknown Writer: Liz is invited to drinks with 'recently divorced camera guy' and 'legally separated sound guy'
Tracy: Animal customers? That's ridiculous.
Tracy Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: Big night, Lemon? Let me guess. Meatball sub, extra bread, bottle of NyQuil, TiVo 'Top Chef,' a little Miss Bonnie Raitt, lights out.
Jack Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jack: Then you won't mind when I tell you that Casey gets voted off tonight.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Callback Liz: You monster! Why are you like this?
Liz Reaction Beat Character Comedy Callback Jack: Dijonaise is a boy's name? Pardon me.
Jack Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Tracy: I wasn't. My motorcycle hit a police horse. This is community service.
Tracy Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: These kids come from Knuckle Beach, the worst neighborhood in New York. They are poor as hell.
Tracy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Jack: Jack's story about his high-school baseball team winning despite being 'all white' against a team that was 'completely...' trailing off
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Kids: Kids' dreams: 'When I grow up, I'm going to do vending-machine maintenance.' / 'I'm going to get shot by a cop and sue the city.' / 'I'm going to be a talkative doorman with a drinking problem.'
Kids Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Jack: That's right. You shoot for the stars.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Tracy: No, no, no, no, no. These are not the dreams of winners. These aren't winners. They're 0-17.
Tracy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Kid · Tracy · Kid: Damn! We supposed to be at the game right now. / 0-18! / That one's on Coach Tracy.
Kid: Someday I'll have an office like this. To clean.
Kid Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Kid: Like R. Kelly and Michael Vick.
Kid Dark/Subversive Observational Jenna: Oh, my God. Who ordered the veal? Am I right, guys?
Jenna Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz · Lutz: Ugh, Jenna, that guy is a baby. / Lutz? I'm Lutz.
Liz Lutz Character Comedy Reaction Beat Jenna · Jamie · Jenna: I like your blond streaks. It's very Simon Le Bon. / Who? / Oh, you're young.
Liz: Give it up, Jenna. You're talking to an ultrasound.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Frank · Frank: Now I'm getting attitude from the sexy librarian over here. / What? Sexy? You are. Shut up.
Frank · Pete · Pete: I want Jamie. / Yeah, you're gay! / He's totally gay for...
Tracy: Circle up sequence: Tracy trying to gather kids for practice while noticing a 'weird dude' and canceling practice when the dude leaves
Tracy Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Jack: That's why I sponsor a charity that gives away tuxedoes to homeless people. It was a beautiful ceremony. Mazel tov.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Tracy: At our first practice, they asked me what the sun was.
Tracy Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Frank: Did you just come from working out, or are you naturally veiny?
Frank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jenna · Jamie · Jenna: How old do you think I am? / I don't know. 29? / Wow. You are good at guessing ages.
Jenna: Jenna glances to the side and tells us / the camera: 'I am exactly 29.'
Jenna Reaction Beat Irony/Sarcasm Callback Frank: I bought you a sweater. It's slim-fitting. They call it a French cut. It wasn't on sale or anything.
Frank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: At night? Okay, that sounds great.
Jenna Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz · Jack: I can't believe I did that. I told myself I would never lie about my age. / These things happen, Liz. I had my 'no sex with Asians' rule. But then one day you walk into Sharper Image, and there's Quan.
Liz Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jenna: There was a whole article about it in 'Vanity Fair.' The one with the 'Crisis in Africa' cover. God, it makes me so sad that more people don't know about cougars.
Jenna Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Jenna: Don't say that. Cougars have to act young. You should get a Ring Pop to suck on.
Jenna Character Comedy Absurdist Frank: Sorry, Jenna. I'm probably gay now. It's never gonna happen between us.
Frank Character Comedy Running Gag Callback Tracy: A world where orange soda is an acceptable substitute for breast milk!
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: It's like this great country of ours. We can go into any nation, impose our values, and make things better. It's what Bush is doing all over the globe.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Tracy: Bush? Now, I don't want to go off on a rant here.
Tracy Character Comedy Misdirection Kenneth: Oh, sorry. This is my dream journal. / They've all come true so far.
Kenneth Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Tracy: You can't wear blue in Knuckle Beach, which is hard because jeans go with everything.
Tracy Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jenna: So, you like the music? Yeah. Speaking of music I like, how about Gnarls Barkley, huh? That guy's great. Have you been to his official website?
Jenna Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz Lemon · Jamie: Liz to Jamie about Gnarls Barkley: 'That guy's great. Have you been to his official website?'
Jenna · Jamie: Is it only 1:00 A.M.? ... So, after this, I figured we'd hit up Marquee. They only serve drinks till 4:00, but I can get us into this great club in Brooklyn.
Jenna: I'm 37! / What? / I'm 37. Please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
Jenna Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Jamie · Jenna · Jenna · Jamie · Jenna: I'm 20. / Oh, boy. / This just went from a senior dating a freshman to Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau. / Are those friends of yours? / Oh, when will death come?
Jack: Where did you two meet? An Amber Alert?
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: Did you take an Ambien with your Franzia and sleepwalk here?
Jack Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jack: Where did you two meet? An Amber Alert?
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: Boy, the art in here is hung really level.
Jack Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jack: You've got money, status, naturally thick hair, a decent set.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz: I'm not against fun. I went up on my roof the other day.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jack: He's hot, poor, and eager to please. Just buy him a few gifts, never give him your home phone number, and if you set a curfew, stick to it.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Kenneth: Sir, conditions have deteriorated. I made Demarquis captain like you said. But having a kid from Trinidad in charge made the Latinos real mad. And they all seem to really hate my grandpa 'cause they keep yelling, 'Kill Whitey.' And I'm like, 'What do you think you are, alcohol?'
Kenneth Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Tracy: You'll hear all I have to say about Jack Donaghy in my tell-all book, 'Betrayal'... colon... 'What Really Happened With My Baseball Team'... comma... 'Disaster at Knuckle Beach'... question mark.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack Donaghy · Kenneth Parcell: Jack: 'Oh, God, they see us.' / Jack and Kenneth run from the kids with bats
Cerie: Is it like that time they found my grandpa at the bus station?
Cerie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Cerie · Liz · Cerie: Wow. Coffee guy? That'll really make your ex-husband jealous. / Cerie, for the last time, I have never been married. / That's the spirit!
Cerie · Cerie · Cerie · Aidan · Cerie · Aidan · Cerie · Cerie: Hey, Liz, this is Aidan. / Guess you're not the only cougar in town. / Aidan's a freshman at NYU. / Give me change for a soda? / You just had one. / Whatever. / No, don't you 'whatever' me. / Hey! What did I say about you wearing your Heelys inside? / Aidan! Wait up. / Aidan!
Liz: Yeah, that's right. I have a boy toy, and we look awesome together.
Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jenna · Liz: That's great, Maude. How's Harold? / His name is Jamie, and you know what? I don't spend a lot of time worrying about his feelings.
Jamie · Liz: I had fun the other night. Your roof is awesome. / Oh, thanks. I go up there all the time.
Jamie Liz Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Frank: I made you a painting. It's called 'One-Armed Mermaid That's Part Unicorn With Bigfoot.'
Frank Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jamie: Liz, be good to him.
Jamie Reaction Beat Irony/Sarcasm Jack · Tracy · Jack · Tracy: Tracy, I only wanted to help. But now things are out of control. We have two options. One, we can cut and run and betray the people that we made this commitment to. Or you and I can form a coalition. / No way, J.D. / Tracy, I thought you cared about these kids. / Just because I don't support Jack Donaghy doesn't mean I don't support the kids.
Kenneth · Tracy · Tracy · Jack: But, sir, every one of them wrote you a letter asking you to come back. / Wow. / Jack, if I come back to the team, can I throw these things away and not have to read them? / Tracy, I'll pay somebody to read them for you.
Jack · Tracy: One word. Surge. / That's two words!
Jack Tracy Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Frank · Jamie · Frank: Jamie! Look, Jamie, I can't take this Sam-and-Diane thing anymore. I need to know what we're doing here. / Nothing, Frank. I'm not gay. / I'm not gay, either. That's why it's perfect. We're just two straight guys who want to enjoy each other's bodies.
Jack: I can't believe we're winning. I knew the surge would work.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Callback Callback Tracy: That one goes out to W.S. Churchill.
Tracy Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Opposing Coach · Jack: Hey, there's no way that those batters were born after 1993. / These Dominican birth certificates say otherwise.
Liz · Jamie: Liz buying Jamie the leather bracelet while calling him 'baby' and taking a cab for the first time with under seven people
Liz Jamie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jamie · Liz · Jamie · Beth · Beth: All right, Mom. I'm taking off! / Mom? / Yeah, I'm 20. I can't afford this place. / All right, honey. Have a good time. / Oh, hi. I'm Beth.
Liz: Yep, that's what we look like.
Liz Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Liz Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Liz Lemon: 'Shut it down.' — Liz's flat decision after seeing herself and Jamie next to his mom
Liz Lemon Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: All May-December relationships end in humiliation. Sexual incompatibility, social faux pas, meeting their parents. It's classic.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack · Liz: A younger companion makes you feel more alive. Opens you up to new experiences, fresh points of view, stimulating conversation. / Stop repeating what I say.
Jack · Liz · Jack · Liz: Of course, there are exceptions. Thank God I'm off the market. / Oh. Are you seeing someone? / What? No. I mean this company is my girlfriend. She gives me all the loving I'll ever want or need. / That's gross, Jack.
Liz: Stop hitting yourself, Jenna. Why are you like this?
Liz Callback Character Comedy Callback Frank: Guys, this isn't working. I'm not gay-gay. I'm just gay for Jamie.
Frank Character Comedy Running Gag Callback Frank: Frank addressing gay men at the bar: 'Look, you dudes are great, a lot of fun to dance with, and you smell awesome. Enjoy your night.'
Frank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Gay Man at Bar: Bye, sexy bear! Terence, you make us all look so bad.
Liz: Liz's muffin top song/dance at the end: 'My muffin top is all that / Whole grain, low fat / I know you want a piece of that / But I just want to dance...' etc.
Liz Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jamie: You're weirding me out?
Jamie Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Liz Lemon: Liz: 'You're weirding me out?' — the question mark inflection on all lines in the song
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Callback 