Jack gets attached to Liz's nurturing parents because they provide the love and support he never got from his mom. The staffers get ready for their raunchy holiday party, but Kenneth changes their plans at the last minute.
Holiday dysfunction hits 87.9: Tracy's chaos and Liz's family collide across 77 jokes.
Directed by Don Scardino · Written by Tami Sagher
WAR
88.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Ludachristmas” ranks #38 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 87.9 — Elite. The episode packs 77 scored jokes at 3.4 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Jack landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Jack: Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.
Jack Character Comedy Observational Jack: See, Mother? Not all species eat their young.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Colleen: Really? Life is too short? Because your life seems endless.
Colleen Character Comedy Observational Kenneth: Christmas is about gratitude and togetherness. Sitting with friends and family around a crackling fire, waiting for the owl meat to cook.
Kenneth Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dick · Jack: So, Jack, is this beautiful genius the best employee you've ever had or what? / No.
Dick Jack Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 77 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Liz · Jack: Oh, won't people just end up shredding their photos? / If you want to photo-scan, you flip the switch to 'PS.' And if you want to paper-shred, you flip the switch to... Oh.
Frank: I just want to say that I'm really sorry for whatever I'm going to do at the party tonight. And I forgive all of you in advance for leaving me passed out by the elevator in my own gravy.
Frank Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Frank: Merry Ludachristmas, everyone!
Frank Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Jenna · Frank: Are you gonna do Horny Santa again, Frank? That was so funny last year when I sat on your lap. / Yes. Funny.
Liz: And we're gonna go to that restaurant where they pretend it's Mars!
Liz Absurdist Observational Liz: No, I remember them arguing a lot during the gas crisis of '79. But since Carter left office, it's been pretty smooth sailing.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Liz: No, I invited her out of my paralyzing Irish guilt, but her plane was grounded because of Hurricane Zapato.
Liz Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Liz: Ha! Look at that. That's where she lives. Jupiter. The eye of the storm.
Liz Visual Gag Irony/Sarcasm Kenneth: She took a bus to Atlanta. She got JetBlue to accept an Amtrak ticket.
Colleen · Jack: Isn't this the office you had before? I thought you were up for a big promotion. / I am, Mother. And there are only two nicer offices in the whole building. / Only two? I don't like the odds. I think you better let that dream go.
Colleen · Jack · Liz: Is she Spanish? / What if she was, Mother? / She's very smart, Colleen. You'd like her. / My thanks to the peanut gallery.
Colleen: Jack... this coat isn't gonna take itself off.
Colleen Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz: Mitch was in a skiing accident his senior year of high school, and he has what's called trauma-induced niveaphasia. Basically he's just stuck in the day before his accident.
Liz Setup/Punchline Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mitch · Liz: Oh, tomorrow's the big day! It's gonna be totally rad! / Yeah, Mitch! Rad!
Liz · Jenna: He thinks it's 1985. So if you meet him, just be cool. It should be mentioned that, sexually, Mitch is very much an adult. / No, it should not be mentioned.
Liz Jenna Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Frank Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Kenneth: Christmas is about gratitude and togetherness. Sitting with friends and family around a crackling fire, waiting for the owl meat to cook.
Kenneth Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Sometimes I don't think you people understand Christmas at all.
Kenneth Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Callback Unknown: Hi. I think I'm early. I'm here to have Christmas meats eaten off my chest at some party?
Tracy: So it's my fault diners can serve alcohol in New York State? That's on me now?
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist Tracy: And now? This time of the year? Ludachristmas? Nude Year's Eve? Martin Luther King Day? All you do is drink!
Tracy Escalation Character Comedy Callback Dot Com: Okay. But who's project manager?
Jack: I'm sending them to my mother's hotel room because the room service there is 'too salty.'
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Mitch · Liz: Lemon party! Permission to land? / Permission granted!
Mitch Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mitch · Liz: Psych! You can't go! It's the senior class trip! / Aw! Psych! You got me, Mitch!
Mitch Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Margaret: You are a very, very handsome man. Looks like an Arrow shirt model.
Dick · Jack: So, Jack, is this beautiful genius the best employee you've ever had or what? / No.
Dick Jack Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dick · Margaret: I like this guy's honesty. / Yeah, me too.
Dick: Show us what you've been working on, Wilma Shakespeare.
Dick Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Margaret: Oh, you! Butta-butta-butta! Mwah!
Dick: They built all of this because of words you wrote.
Dick Character Comedy Observational Mitch · Liz: Hey, Liz, guess who's going skiing with me. Chris Stanek... your boyfriend! Whoo! Oh, what? Shut up! I don't like him! Boys are gross!
Mitch Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz · Jack: No, he was in a skiing accident, and he thinks it's 1985. / No, I get it. I'm talking about your parents.
Liz Jack Misdirection Character Comedy Liz: Even when I sued the Lower White Haven School District to let girls play football.
Liz Character Comedy Absurdist Liz: We didn't make the playoffs that year, but I think we led the league in bravery.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Jack: I've never seen such relentless blind encouragement. No wonder you're a sexually frightened know-it-all.
Jack Character Comedy Observational Liz · Dick: I'm the lady from 'Flashdance'! / That's a good 'Flashdance,' honey. Good 'Flashdance.'
Jack: I was pretty addicted to coke back in my Wall Street days.
Jack Character Comedy Misdirection Kenneth: We can play party games... like 'Murder'! First, everybody takes a slip of paper out of a hat. And one person's slip says 'murderer,' and another person's slip says 'inspector.' Then everyone puts their head down. Except the murderer... He's the inspector. No, that's not right.
Colleen: The TV had over 100 channels, for God's sakes. I'm only gonna be here for three days!
Colleen Character Comedy Observational Colleen · Jack: Jack, do you have a bathroom that I can get to in a hurry? / Yes. Right... in here, Mother. / Well, that is close, isn't it?
Margaret · Dick · Jack: Oh, I love that name! C. C. / Ooh, I'll be any girlfriend of yours is a real winner! / Well, she is a congresswoman. / Oh, my goodness! Congresswoman!
Jack · Margaret: And she does have her own Lifetime movie. / Lifetime! Wowzers!
Jack: Why don't we cut the charade and you two tell me what exactly it is you want from me?
Jack Character Comedy Misdirection Alfonso · Frank: Open, open? Homina, homina, homina? Open Pit barbecue sauce? / Yes. This is the sweet spot.
Frank: Oh, and no chitchat between songs this year. People don't watch 'Letterman' for Paul Shaffer.
Frank Observational Meta/Self-Referential Mitch: Are you, like, a friend of my mom's or something? I mean, I'll tell her you said hi.
Mitch Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mitch: What's up? Do you like Wham!? 'Cause I'm kind of like the George Michael of my school.
Mitch Character Comedy Observational Mitch: Definitely. My parents are away next week. You should come over. I'll be in the hot tub.
Mitch Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jenna: That's a filthy Christmas miracle.
Jenna Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Jack: It's got cheese and butter and caramel. All my favorites. How did you know?
Jack Character Comedy Observational Dick · Jack: Oh, in his mind, Reagan is still president. / You lucky bastard.
Tracy: Hey, maybe I'll compromise. I'll go to the party, cut off my foot, and drink all I want!
Tracy Character Comedy Escalation Tracy: Shut the doors. Some people need to learn about Christmas.
Tracy Character Comedy Escalation Liz: Although I did kind of change everything forever.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Dick · Margaret · Jack: Jack, you laced those up like a professional. / Good for you! / Nice to have some positive reinforcement, isn't it?
Jack: In my case, they're just stating the facts. I do look like the Arrow shirt man, I did lace up my skates professionally, and I did do a fabulous job finishing my muffin. You wish you were in my family.
Jack Character Comedy Escalation Callback Colleen: Let's all meet down at the soda shop while this country turns into Mexico.
Colleen Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jack: Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.
Jack Character Comedy Observational Colleen: You give me 10 minutes with the Lemon family, and I'll have them tearing at each other like drag queens at a wig sale.
Colleen Character Comedy Observational Tracy: That is not a Christmas tree. It's a way to lure tourists into the basement to buy $20 salads.
Tracy Observational Character Comedy Margaret: I am gonna have the fried onion tower for two... for one!
Jack: See, Mother? Not all species eat their young.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Colleen: Really? Life is too short? Because your life seems endless.
Colleen Character Comedy Observational Frank: It's about getting drunk and hugging your cousin until your mom says, 'Frank, enough.'
Frank Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Frank: Is this a culture where toplessness is common?
Frank Character Comedy Observational Frank · Everyone · Kenneth: We should go downstairs and chop down the big tree! / Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Chop it down! / No! No, wait!
Colleen: Because the Lemons are not what they appear to be. I mean, I may be heavy furniture, but I did a pretty good job raising you.
Colleen Character Comedy Observational Dick: Wouldn't be a Lemon party without old Dick.
Dick Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Margaret: We were a little embarrassed, Liz.
Margaret Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Margaret · Liz · Mitch: Are you taking a stand now by not giving us grandchildren? / Oh, you want grandchildren, Margaret? Why don't you ever bother Mitch about that? / Because he's 17! / He's 40!
Mitch: What? Oh, my God. The accident. I hit the tree! No, don't remember. Oh, I'm so old!
Mitch Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Margaret: Thank you, Elizabeth Lemon! You are so self-centered, young lady! You didn't even offer to pay for this dinner. I'm on a fixed income!
Colleen Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Tracy: I had a couple of drinks before the meeting. Hold that, Kenneth. This is a flask. So y'all probably shouldn't be listening to me.
Tracy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Margaret · Dick: You know why I stay with you, Dick?! Yes, I do know. Because I have nothing to give another man! / 'Cause you have no income of your own.
Colleen · Jack: Tomorrow night I'm gonna take you to a cathouse. / I hate cats. / You'll learn to love them.
