It's Valentine's Day, and the TGS crew is celebrating by pulling an all nighter to put together a new episode. While Pete completely forgets the holiday, Kenneth and Cerie may be starting an office romance. Meanwhile, Liz wonders if Dennis is back in her life after she receives flowers from a secret admirer and newly divorced Jack wants to party with Tracy, who for once wants to spend a night alone with his wife instead.
Season finale escalates absurdist chaos to 85.5, sustaining 2.59 jokes per minute.
Directed by Don Scardino, Michael Engler · Written by Tina Fey
WAR
100.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Up All Night” ranks #125 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 92.6 — Elite. The episode packs 72 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Jack landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Liz · Jack: Marry, boff, kill — Bianca. Which do you want to do? / All of them.
Liz Jack Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jenna: And does a phony bare her soul for the homeless? Because that comes from in here. My vagina is a convenience store... clean and reliable and closed on Christmas.
Jenna Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: I admit sometimes I would fantasize about her getting various terminal illnesses, and I would nurse her... to her death. And she would say, 'Johnny, I am in so much pain.' And I would say, 'Just hang in there a little longer, Bianca.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jenna: Vagina Day is a charity event founded by a group of celebrities who have, for whatever reason, never been asked to participate in 'The Vagina Monologues.'
Jenna Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jenna: I could do it again. But I wouldn't want to show off.
Jenna Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 72 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jack: They're very expensive freshwater clams from the... Cuyahoga River.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Liz: My whole staff has been blorching for three days
Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Jack: making love on the floor of the Concorde. Then the next, your lawyers are fighting over who gets to keep the box your dog defecates in.
Jack Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz · Jack: You taught your dog to poop in a box? / Bianca did. But I want that box.
Liz Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Callback Liz: Are you angry or excited right now? I can't tell.
Liz Observational Character Comedy Unknown character: This would work on 'Ugly Betty.'
Tracy: Me and Angie rented the penthouse at the Soho Grand, where we will drink wine and pleasure each other.
Tracy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Pete: That's why me and my wife role-play. She put on a girl scout outfit with a box of cookies, and I answer the door in my boxers. Or I rent out a wheelchair, and she pretends to be my caseworker.
Pete Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Pete: And, in a way, she is.
Pete Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Lutz · Liz: I just took a whole bunch of Cialis, because I have big Valentine's plans tonight. / With who? / Uh, nobody.
Lutz Liz Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort Cerie: He keeps sending me all these flowers to apologize, but he's still insisting on having a Greek Orthodox wedding. But I really disagree with the church's stance on Cyprus.
Cerie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack: I want the art supplies that I gave you on your 40th birthday and any subsequent art projects you made with them.
Jack Escalation Character Comedy Jack: I want all of your parents' love letters.
Jack Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Bianca: Oh, damn it, Johnny! You know I love my Big Beef and Cheddar!
Bianca Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jack: Break out a bottle of champagne. But not the one that came with the shellfish, okay? Some other bottle of champagne.
Jack Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Pete: It's also her birthday.
Pete Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Frank: Did you just come from a Suzanne Somers look-alike contest?
Frank Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm Jenna: Vagina Day is a charity event founded by a group of celebrities who have, for whatever reason, never been asked to participate in 'The Vagina Monologues.'
Jenna Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jenna: My vagina is a flower. A weird, ugly flower.
Jenna Character Comedy Absurdist Jenna: I remember the night I lost my virginity. It was 1968, during the Democratic convention.
Jenna Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jack: I'm divorced, everyone! Who wants to grab a drink?
Jack Character Comedy Reaction Beat Pete: Sorry. I got to duck out. I just found a Hallmark store open 70 blocks from here.
Pete Character Comedy Escalation Callback Jack · Tracy: Just one quick one. / I got to be downtown dressed as a ninja by 10:00.
Frank · Toofer: Marry, boff, kill — Beyoncé, Paula Abdul, and Oprah. / Dude, that's beyond easy. Boff Beyoncé, kill Paula, marry Oprah.
Frank · Toofer · Jenna: Marry, boff, kill — Cerie, Liz, and Jenna. / Marry Liz, get with Cerie, kill Jenna. / I can hear you!
Liz: But thank you for saying that you would marry me.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Liz: No, I'm not with so many men that it's impossible for me to guess.
Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Liz: Oh. Oh, well, you know what? I found the card, actually. They're from your mom. Yeah. So tell your gay mom I said thanks.
Liz Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Jack: We got to order some more champagne, go and jump on my helicopter and buzz Trump Tower until Don comes out on the roof and begs us to stop.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack: That is the weak married man inside you talking. I used to be like you. Always remember — marriage is a competition. And after 18 years of overtime, I am finally going to claim victory.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Toofer: Bone Osama bin Laden. To shame him. And then his own people would murder him.
Toofer Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Toofer: Marry Martha Stewart. 'Cause, you know, she seems like a dirty bird.
Toofer Character Comedy Misdirection Cerie: I'd marry Toofer 'cause he's classy. I'd kill Lutz. Sorry, Lutz. The thought that you would do anything to me is awesome. And I'd boff Kenneth.
Cerie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Callback Jenna: And does a phony bare her soul for the homeless? Because that comes from in here. My vagina is a convenience store... clean and reliable and closed on Christmas.
Jenna Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Frank Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Frank: Frank's button: 'Fake. And weird.'
Frank Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Callback Jack: She is the succubus from the bowels of hell. I mean, if I were forced to remember her as I first met her... then, yes, empirically, she is very, very beautiful. But it's what's inside her that really makes her disgusting.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jack: I wish I could touch her boobs again. She really had a fabulous pair of boobs.
Jack Character Comedy Misdirection Jack: I admit sometimes I would fantasize about her getting various terminal illnesses, and I would nurse her... to her death. And she would say, 'Johnny, I am in so much pain.' And I would say, 'Just hang in there a little longer, Bianca.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack · Tracy: Jack's pivot at the end of his 'love' speech: '...what are you doing tonight?'
Jack Tracy Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Frank · Toofer · Kenneth: Kenneth, this is your chance. Cerie digs you. / Cerie said she would do it with you. / Well, that just makes me perspire.
Pete · Paula: Pete role-playing as a maintenance worker to sneak into his wife's hotel room — 'I'm detecting a lot of heat over here... I think it's coming... from my butt.'
Pete: Oh, no! I'm married!
Pete Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Paula: Okay, I don't know who that is. But we done, 'cause I'm not Velcro-ing up again.
Paula Character Comedy Visual Gag Tracy: Tracy bursts in: 'Happy Valentimes!'
Tracy Character Comedy Running Gag Jack: This is a Krug Clos du Mesnil, and I was saving it for a special occasion. And I thought to myself, 'My God. This is it.'
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jack: Isn't she precious? Hey, fun fact about Vlem. She originally came here to study engineering.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jack: You tell G.E. light-bulb man, I want 'Sophie's Choice' out of my suite!
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist Kenneth: In fact, she's pretty sure I'm the reincarnated soul of Adrian Twyfer. He was our town minister who died in an organ fire.
Kenneth Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kenneth · Cerie · Kenneth: Well, it's like Dr. Laura Schlessinger says. Women should be more accommodating to their men, for the health of the marriage. / She sounds smart. Is she really a doctor? / No, I think she's kind of like Dr Pepper.
Cerie: Thanks, Kenneth. You give really good advice.
Cerie Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat Jenna · Kenneth · Cerie: Kenneth! / What? How dare you. / You're so weird. / Tell Liz I left, okay? And if you want to tell those guys upstairs that we made out, it's all right with me.
Tracy · Angie: This is the second-worst Valentine's Day we ever had.
Liz · Pete (or hotel staff): Is Mr. Donaghy here? / Another prostitute?
Liz: Liz opens the door: 'Another prostitute?'
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jack · Liz: And I want Bianca to see that I'm moving on. / Well, then maybe you should call Bianca to help you carry your prostitute out of the hotel you were just ejected from.
Jack Liz Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Liz · Jack: Marry, boff, kill — Bianca. Which do you want to do? / All of them.
Liz Jack Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: Uh, leave her there. It's nicer than where I found her.
Jack Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Jenna: Admit it — you spend just as much time and energy trying to look weird as I do trying to look beautiful. And you can act like you hate me, but if I tried to kiss you right now, you would totally do it 'cause you're a big, phony jerk.
Jenna Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Jenna · Frank: Jenna confronts Frank: 'You wear your thrift-store T-shirts and your big, weird glasses... What does that even mean?' / Frank: 'It's pretty self-explanatory.' (about his 'Extra Cheese' hat)
Jenna · Frank: Okay, fine. I pooted. It's 3:00 in the morning. Are you happy? / Yeah, I'm happy, because that's the first time you've ever done something like a real person.
Jenna Frank Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Jenna: I could do it again. But I wouldn't want to show off.
Jenna Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Frank · Jenna: Frank apologizes for saying he would kill Jenna. Jenna responds with sincere gratitude: 'Thank you.'
Frank Jenna Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Writers · Kenneth: Way to go, loser. / Oh, yeah? If I blew it, then how did I get her underpants?
Jack's lawyer · Jack: It's almost like it never happened. / I wouldn't be surprised if that 5-inch scar across my abdomen was suddenly gone.
Jack: I'm gonna shut it down, leave it vacant, open the windows, and let nature have at it.
Jack Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Jack · Bianca's lawyer · Jack · Bianca: Do it. / The case could be in court for months. / Maybe years. / Damn it, Johnny.
Drew (the lawyer): You know, I've heard that, in Greece, they have to change Charlton Heston's name on movie posters to Charlton Easton because in Greek the word 'heston' means 'to poop yourself.'
Liz · Drew: You're a lawyer? / I prefer 'law stylist.'
Liz Drew Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Drew · Liz: She pouted all night because she thought I forgot to send her something. You know, I told her I did, but she didn't believe me. / She sounds great.
Drew Liz Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Drew: But I could possibly get a photo of you with the flowers, like, with your I.D.
Drew Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Tracy: Happy Valentimes! [third instance — Tracy to camera or passersby]
Tracy Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback 