Floyd DeBarber

Floyd:Hi, my name is Floyd and I'm an alcoholic.

Floyd · AA Group:Hi, my name is Floyd and I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Floyd.

Floyd:I ended up doing a man-on-the street commercial for Tarzan on Ice.

Floyd:Walk it off, scarecrow.

Floyd:I feel more confused and betrayed than those people that worked with Tootsie.

Floyd · Liz:Except mine's the one from Caddyshack. Well, that makes sense 'cause he's a very good dancer.

Floyd · Liz:'Jack Attack: The Art of Aggression in Business.' Oh, no.

Jack · Floyd:The only other 'Floyd' I ever knew was this Korean barber who used to cut my hair down in the 50th Street subway station. That's my dad. I'm Floyd Jr. I'm just kidding.

Floyd:The dedicated popcorn setting on your microwave was the imagination breakthrough of 1995.

Floyd:And on a personal note, sir, in my mind, the Foo Fighters' song 'Best of You' is about your managerial skills.

Liz · Floyd:Unh. It's got pockets. Are you into that? Ooh, what's this? A used Kleenex.

Floyd:'Cause this VapoRub isn't gonna get under my nose by itself.

Floyd:I always sign it 'Floydster.'

Floyd:Like 'get away with murdering my first wife' kind of dough.

Floyd:Well-played, Garkel.

Floyd:Yeah, you gotta talk to your landlord about that rat race.

Floyd:That is also a place.

Tracy · Floyd:They want me to disappear like Coolio. Coolio is around!

Floyd:Liz... I took that job.

Floyd · Liz:Um... it's actually in the mid-40s. Oh, really? 'Cause it's low 40s here.

Floyd · Liz:You know, maybe we hit that barbecue place you puked at. You'll have to be more specific.

Floyd:There was actually a tornado in Cleveland last week. Destroyed an entire city block... three bowling alleys, a liquor store, and the liquor-store museum.

Liz · Floyd:I read that you guys are getting an lkea. Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. We've just been burned before.

Airline Employee · Floyd:We're not an airline anymore. Wait, wait, wait. One storm? That's all it takes? We're still gonna make popcorn. Just no more airplanes.

Floyd:This is more important than me getting home or my partner meeting with Peter Venkman.

Floyd:I'm the Michael Clayton of Cleveland.

Liz · Floyd:Well, I hope your car blows up. I'll move to Cleveland when you get that lkea. Never!

Floyd:You are vindictive, Liz Lemon!

Liz · Floyd:I don't want your car to explode and I don't want you to go into a coma and I don't want to stab you in the face with a giant fork. What? Oh, that's not you. I've been threatening a lot of people lately.

Floyd:Just chola eyebrows

Floyd:Look, Kaitlin is a yogaerobics instructor and an ab model. I was in a reenactment on America's Most Wanted once, playing a lady strangled on the toilet.

Floyd:The early show? What am I, in a hospital?

Floyd:I was in a reenactment On America's Most Wanted once, Playing a lady strangled on the toilet

Floyd:♪ shot through the heart ♪ whoa-oa! ♪ and you're to blame ♪ This is my jam right here. ♪ you give love a bad name ♪ ooh, my jam-a-lam.

Floyd:Squeeze in one last ride at six Floyds Amusement Park? Well, we're closed. Sorry.

Floyd:One, blonde. Two, she's alive... Like a deer. She runs and sniffs and jumps and stares.

Floyd:She's not like the badger With its glasses and its rules about weekday sex

Floyd:There's so many guys out there That want to be poisoned and yelled at

Floyd:In this hour, spring cleaning-- Boring! Boring! Floyd, come on.

Floyd:Shut up, kit kat!