Jack and Kenneth work together when Jack discovers that another NBC executive is after his job. Meanwhile, Pete and Liz adjust to life as roommates and Tracy receives paternity papers.
Season finale mines character comedy through 60 rapid-fire jokes in absurdist scenarios.
Directed by Dennie Gordon, Beth McCarthy-Miller · Written by Brett Baer, Jack Burditt, Dave Finkel
WAR
154.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Fireworks” ranks #71 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 97.5 — Elite. The episode packs 99 scored jokes at 3.7 per minute, averaging 7.6 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Liz Lemon landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Liz Lemon: There is an 80% chance in the next election that I will tell all my friends I am voting for Barack Obama, but I will secretly vote for John McCain.
Liz Lemon Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy Jordan · Dr. Leo Spaceman: Dr. Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will they tell me what diseases I might get or help me to remember my ATM pin code? / Absolutely. / Science is whatever we want it to be.
Liz Lemon: Uh, once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet, and I didn't leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp.
Liz Lemon: I have been sexually rejected by not one, but two guys who later went to Clown College.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Jack Donaghy · Devin Banks: He pioneered the concept of ten second internet sitcoms. / [clip plays] Making it happen / Honey, I'm home. / Oh, great. / We made it.
All Jokes — 99 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Liz Lemon · Floyd: Hot dog times, huh? / I only eat them on special occasions. / What's the special occasion? / I decided to eat one.
Jack Donaghy · Liz Lemon: Church on a Tuesday? / But he seemed so normal.
Jack Donaghy · Devin Banks: Kenneth, this is Devin Banks... / Hey, Devin, you better watch out, Kenneth might take your job one day. / Or your job, Jack.
Jack Donaghy · Devin Banks: Ugh, dude, how can we be wearing the same outfit? / You saw me leave the apartment this morning. / I saw you put it on and I thought it looked nice.
Jack Donaghy · Devin Banks: How long are you staying with me? / Indefinitely.
Jack Donaghy: These punks who think they can take down Jack Donaghy.
Liz Lemon: Wow, if this turns into a showdown, you guys could settle it with a talking like this contest.
Jack Donaghy · Devin Banks: He pioneered the concept of ten second internet sitcoms. / [clip plays] Making it happen / Honey, I'm home. / Oh, great. / We made it.
Jack Donaghy: A live television special with fireworks. They can do shapes now. One time, I saw a cowboy hat. Boom, boom, boom.
Jack Donaghy · Liz Lemon: Those jokes you wrote for my Mitt Romney fundraiser, they were top-notch. / Those weren't jokes. That was an appeal for a return to common sense and decency. / Well, it got big laughs.
Tracy Jordan · Writer: Yeah, we should do a sketch about alien abductions. / Yeah. / Like a Lamaze class in Roswell. / Lamazewell.
Tracy Jordan: I'm incognito. Some dude is trying to slap me with a subpoena for a paternity suit. But the kid ain't mine. / How do you know it's not your child? / 'Cause I remember that girl and it's impossible. I never got out of my car and she never got all the way out of her tollbooth!
Process Server · Tracy Jordan: Mr. Jordan... you've been served.
Jack Donaghy: It's what people want. The Romans knew it. Louis XIV knew it. Wolfowitz knows it.
Devin Banks · Kenneth: So...what team do you play for? / Oh, it's not really a team. It's just a bunch of guys who like doing gymnastics. You know... I'm gonna be in town for a little while. Maybe we could...get together. / My, you're friendly!
Jack Donaghy: Devin is gay. He's even more powerful than I thought.
Liz Lemon: Maybe you should seduce him and get him to tell you all his secret plans.
Jack Donaghy · Kenneth: Did he tell you why he was in New York? / No, sir, we just talked about Anderson Cooper mostly.
Jack Donaghy: You call him, tell him you got two tickets for A Chorus Line for tonight.
Jack Donaghy · Kenneth: And, uh...Kenneth... Have you ever used bronzer?
Tracy Jordan · Dr. Leo Spaceman: Dr. Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will they tell me what diseases I might get or help me to remember my ATM pin code? / Absolutely. / Science is whatever we want it to be.
Dr. Leo Spaceman · Tracy Jordan: Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. / Mm...different time, the '60s.
Liz Lemon: It means he probably murdered someone and found God while he was in jail.
Pete Hornberger: Maybe he's born-again? Ugh, boy. We'll spend our Saturdays in Central Park trying to 'save' gay rollerbladers.
Pete Hornberger: If I told my wife in college, 'Hey, I'm gonna lose all this beautiful hair and fart in my sleep for the next 20 years,' she never would have married me. / Love is like an onion, and you peel away layer after stinky layer until you're just...weeping over the sink.
Kenneth: And I have an idea for a show about a teacher named Art. I call that one 'Art School.' And one about a Jewish guy who opens an ice cream parlor. That one's called 'Ice Cream Cohen.' And a drama about two cops, one named Cash and one named Carry. / I don't have a title for that one.
Kenneth Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Devin Banks · Kenneth: Can I offer you a libation? I have champagne, vodka, absinthe-- / Fruit punch, please.
Devin Banks · Kenneth: You'll excuse me. I'll go slip into something a little more comfortable. / Like in the movies!
Kenneth · Devin Banks: Oh my. That's an awful short robe. / I know. I had to cut it down myself.
Devin Banks · Kenneth: Oh, Kenneth. You know, I was a page. / And when I was in the program, we'd give each other a hand. / Can you give me a hand, Kenneth?
Kenneth: For a fellow page, anything!
Kenneth Character Comedy Reaction Beat Tracy Jordan · Dr. Leo Spaceman: What's the verdict, Doc? / Good news. You are not the father of that child. [celebration] / However, according to my DNA database, you are a direct descendant of our third president. / Jasper Buceman? / No, Tracy. Our third president. Thomas Jefferson.
Tracy Jordan · Dr. Leo Spaceman: Jefferson? Not possible. Yeah, that's a white dude. / Yeah, but that guy was into black chicks. / I'm surprised I am not a descendant.
Dr. Leo Spaceman · Tracy Jordan: These DNA results show that genetically you're mostly white. / That's ridiculous. I can't be white. My whole persona is based on an in-depth analysis of the differences between black and white. This is how black people dial a phone. [elaborate phone-dialing mime] / This is how white people dial a phone. [boring single button press]
Tracy Jordan: I gotta call my wife. [long pause — presumably dials in the 'white' boring way]
Jack Donaghy: I'm straighter than you are gay and I leave particles of guys like you in my wind.
Devin Banks · Jack Donaghy: a little slim-waisted birdie in a page jacket told me you got nothing. / You're going down. / No, Devin. I don't do that.
Pete Hornberger · Liz Lemon: You eat too many hot dogs. Please, I am concerned. I copied this article on sodium for you. / Fine. But I will be reporting this to the Fox Problem Solvers.
Liz Lemon: What is this, Bible study?
Liz Lemon Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Liz Lemon · Pete Hornberger: Pete, you don't understand. He was pouring his guts out. It was like eavesdropping on somebody else's therapy. / It was great. / Yeah, that's not okay.
Liz Lemon · Pete Hornberger: I love him. / Liz, what is your plan here? / You're gonna fake being an alcoholic for the rest of your life? / I don't know, okay? One day at a time, Pete. I'm gonna take it one day at a time.
Jack Donaghy · Kenneth: I want you to tell me everything that happened last night. / The curtains open on a group of chorus line dreamers in 1970s leotards-- / Five, x-- Stop that. I'm not talking about the show.
Kenneth: I had to keep talking just to stop him from putting his fingers in my mouth.
Kenneth Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack Donaghy: Kenneth, you are the worst gay bait ever.
Kenneth · Jack Donaghy: You used me? / For television. / Kenneth, I humiliated you for television. / Like on What's Happening when that man used Rerun to bootleg that Doobie Brothers concert! / Exactly.
Jack Donaghy · Kenneth: And I need to humiliate you again... / I need you to distract him. You gotta make sure he doesn't leave that hotel room tomorrow morning. / I'll do it. Just like Sidney Bristow on Alias, I'll use my sexuality as a weapon. / To the wig shop!
Jack Donaghy: I don't know what happened in your life that caused you to develop a sense of humor as a coping mechanism. Maybe it was some sort of brace or corrective boot you wore during childhood. But in any case, I'm glad you're on my team.
Tracy Jordan: I can't do this sketch! / What? Why? / Because you can't have a white dude playing a criminal. That's a negative portrayal of my people!
Tracy Jordan: There's been a black man inside of me for a long time, now there's a white guy up in here too. It's like the audience for a Bobby McFerrin concert up in here!
Toofer · Tracy Jordan: My great-great-great grandfather was one of the few black men who had achieved an officer's rank during the Civil War. This is a picture of him shaking hands with Ulysses S. Grant. / Yeah, let me check that out. / I think he's shaking hands with Robert E. Lee. / Dude, your relative fought for the South.
Tracy Jordan · Toofer: That's messed up. / See? Now you know what I'm going through.
Tracy Jordan: Do you think these other black guys are his prisoners or what?
Tracy Jordan Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Pete Hornberger · Liz Lemon: Maybe Jack's special could be based on a holiday. / What's left in April? / Arbor Day, the Boston Marathon and Hitler's birthday. / So...you got options.
Writer: So...you got options.
Writer Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Callback Liz Lemon · Floyd: Floyd approaches Liz at work to check she's okay after the AA meeting; she plays along
Liz Lemon: [Liz silently mouthing 'No' when Floyd asks if she has time for coffee]
Dr. Spaceman · Tracy Jordan: Tracy... Meet your father, Tom. [Jefferson portrait appears on screen]
Dr. Leo Spaceman · Tracy Jordan · Thomas Jefferson (dream): Tracy, meet your father, Tom. / No! I hate you, Thomas Jefferson! I don't know who I am anymore! / Hey, Maury, he a dog. He a dog. / Sally Hemings just called you a dog, Thomas Jefferson.
Tracy Jordan · Maury Povich: Hey, Maury, he a dog. He a dog. / Sally Hemings just called you a dog, Thomas Jefferson. / No matter, Maurence.
Thomas Jefferson (dream): America, which I invented... / which I invented, is a great country because we are not burdened by our pasts. Embrace who you are, Tracy Jordan. / And may the Force be with you always.
Liz Lemon · Floyd: I have never seen so much come out of one pigeon! / Yeah, I think it might've been sick. / Or maybe the little guy ate a cigarette or something.
Liz Lemon: Well, I only have Star Wars and Tootsie, so we just keep watching those two over and over.
Floyd: Well...Obviously, since we're in the same group, we can never date. It's against the rules.
Floyd Irony/Sarcasm Misdirection Liz Lemon · Floyd: Well, isn't that one of those rules like 'don't walk between the subway cars,' and all the cool people just do it anyway? / Liz, I need the rules. The last time I drank I ended up doing a man-on-the-street commercial for Tarzan on Ice.
Liz Lemon · Floyd: It was awesome! / I mean, he was swinging on his skates! / And the little monkey was funny.
Kenneth · Devin Banks: Do you want me to dance for you? / Yeah.
Devin Banks · Traffic Radio: This is traffic on the twos. Top deck of the G.W. Bridge... / Touch your belt buckle. / Oh, touch the peacock. / Construction on the Merritt causing slowdowns. / Oh, you're a peacock.
Devin Banks · Kenneth: 7:52? / You warlock! You came to entrance me. / Donaghy sent you.
Liz Lemon · Floyd: Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I kinda fell asleep on your legs. / I know. It's weird. I've never let anybody put their head that close to my feet before.
Liz Lemon: Walk it off, scarecrow.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz Lemon: I know it makes me seem just nut-log Ann Heche crazy
Floyd: I feel more confused and betrayed than those people that worked with Tootsie.
Floyd Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Devin Banks: What am I talking about? / Celebrity snuff. Reality content. Made exclusively for your mobile phone. / Now, what's that? / MC Lyte just murdered Danny Bonaduce? / Oh, thanks, phone!
Jack Donaghy: Banks here wants to make TV smaller. But broadcast television is big. It's about spectacle. The kinds of shows we watched as kids sitting on our neighbor's knee.
Jack Donaghy · Executive: That's why I give you... The Rockefeller Center Salute to Fireworks! / Can you get those fireworks that look like cowboy hats? / You sure can.
Jack Donaghy · Liz Lemon: Mr. Donaghy, Liz Lemon is on the phone. / Don't bother coming in, Lemon. You're off the project. / Jack, I'm so sorry. It's just, you know, I told you about the Flower Guy and-- / I don't have time for this. You've made your priorities clear. I hope he's worth it.
Tracy Jordan · Toofer: I found a biography on your ancestor. It's called 'Confederate Monster: The Tobias Spurlock Disaster.'
Toofer: The barn that John Wilkes Booth hid in belonged to Tobias Spurlock.
Toofer Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Tracy Jordan · Toofer: I want you to write it. / Okay, what's the movie? / It's the story of Thomas Jefferson, only thing we're gonna do it like Norbit, where I play all the parts. / That's actually hilarious. / It's not a comedy. It's a drama.
Liz Lemon: I have been sexually rejected by not one, but two guys who later went to Clown College.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: I get super nervous whenever I hear a vacuum cleaner because when I was a kid, my mom used to turn on the vacuum to drown out the sound of her and my dad fighting. Which is why I rarely vacuum my apartment. Like...never.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: I have had three donuts so far today.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Liz Lemon: Uh, once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet, and I didn't leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp.
Liz Lemon: A couple months ago I went on a date with my cousin.
Liz Lemon: A couple months ago I went on a date with my cousin.
Liz Lemon: Wow, I-- I am a mess.
Liz Lemon: There is an 80% chance in the next election that I will tell all my friends I am voting for Barack Obama, but I will secretly vote for John McCain.
Liz Lemon Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: When I was a kid, I used to put on my fanciest nightgown and then I would mix orange soda and cream soda in a champagne glass and I would sit in the dark and watch The Love Boat. / Consequently, I have some weird sexual fantasy stuff about Gopher from The Love Boat.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: And I...lied. / I have had five donuts today.
Liz Lemon: And I...lied. / I have had five donuts today.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Floyd: You know, the Roomba is a nice, quiet alternative to a vacuum.
Floyd Character Comedy Callback Callback Floyd · Liz Lemon: And in the interest of full disclosure, I also have a sexual fantasy about Gopher. / Except mine's the one from Caddyshack. / Well, that makes sense 'cause he's a very good dancer.
Background song: Sky rockets in flight / Afternoon at night
Liz Lemon: * Sky rockets in flight / Afternoon at night / Oh, boy. I really should've been at that meeting.
Liz Lemon · Pete Hornberger: Wait, fireworks? In Midtown? On a day that is not the Fourth of July? / Oh, my God. / Oh, boy. / That's gonna scare a lot of people.
Observers: Oh, my God. / Oh, boy. / That's gonna scare a lot of people.
Observers Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Callback The Mayor Setup/Punchline Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Liz Lemon: Oh, boy. / Oh, the cowboy hat.
Liz Lemon Callback Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback 