Jack sets Liz up on a blind date with his friend, Thomas. While Liz is busy preparing for the date, Jack infiltrates the writers' weekly poker game.
Early Season 30 Rock hits stride with 55 jokes in 21 minutes—densest episode so far.
Directed by Adam Bernstein · Written by John Riggi, Tina Fey
WAR
121.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Blind Date” ranks #101 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 95.5 — Elite. The episode packs 80 scored jokes at 3.9 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Liz landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Jack · Liz · Jack · Liz · Jack · Liz: The guy obsessed with Charlie Chaplin. / Neil. / The one who played Halo under the name Slut Banger. / Dennis. / The gangly, red-haired guy who played guitar all the time. / Conan.
Liz: OK, what if we made a pact? What if we say that in, like, 25 years, if neither of us has someone, we'll move in together and be roommates? And even though I am not into the sex stuff, if it helps you, I would let you do stuff to me.
Liz Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Gretchen: He approaches everything the same way... Locate the problem, isolate the problem, set the problem up with a lesbian.
Gretchen Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Liz · Jack: Why do guys think women can just flip a switch like that? What if I said to you, 'Go be with Frank now'? / Ah, I would be honoured. Frank is a very tender, beautiful man.
Liz Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jack: The Italians have a saying, Lemon. 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' And although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area, they are correct.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline All Jokes — 80 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Writer/Director: Robot, kick him in the knees. Bears have weak knees. He should vibrate, 'cause the robot's full of radiation.
Liz: You can't spend a lot of money on bear suits that are only gonna be seen for 25 seconds.
Liz Observational Character Comedy Writer: Nobody will believe that a killer robot can get his ass kicked by one bear.
Liz: You're trying to bring logic to the robot-bear sketch?
Liz Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Callback Liz: Who did my sudoku puzzle? I have been looking forward to this puzzle all morning.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack · Liz: Liz, could you come to my office when you have a free moment? / I never have a free moment, Jack. Never, ever.
Jack Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack: How does your life improve? Do the hands have money in them?
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack: I can tell from your stress level that you have not been touched in quite some time... Not caressed, not massaged, not even groped on the subway.
Jack Character Comedy Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jack: I would think that a single woman's biggest worry would be choking to death alone in her apartment.
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jack · Liz: Poker night? Who plays? / Really, that's all you got out of that?
Jack Liz Character Comedy Misdirection Jack: I bluffed. Yes, I am coming. [to poker night]
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz: Liz doing the sudoku puzzle alone at her desk: Three can't go here. Three can't go here. Can't go here. It can go here.
Liz Character Comedy Visual Gag Callback Liz: Fine, I'll meet your friend. [after 35 seconds of sudoku struggling]
Liz Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Cerie: Oh, my God, isn't Jack friends with Tom DeLay? Am I going on a date with Tom DeLay?
Cerie Setup/Punchline Absurdist Josh: But if it is Tom DeLay and you do go home with him, be prepared for it to get weird.
Josh Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Callback Tracy: Poker night? I love poker! I used to play all kinds of poker with my aunts... Crazy 7, Albuquerque Freak-Out, One-Card Stud.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Writer · Tracy: Yeah, I don't think those are real games. / Whatever. Get ready to get took.
Frank: No, Mom, I can't make it Friday. I got to work. [said in the writers' room]
Frank Character Comedy Visual Gag Liz · Frank: No, I mean, if you were gonna go on a date with a woman, how would you want her to act? / Like she was in a porn.
Liz Frank Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Escalation Callback Writer: You look like a fancy prostitute.
Writer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Tracy: OK, I got my chair. I got my beer. I got my lucky doughnut.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist Jack · Tracy: Donaghy, what up? / What up, Tra?
Tracy: This round, Texas Doozy. Face cards are wild, 3 is a jinx, 5s are 25.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Callback Jack · Pete · Jack: The minimum bet in this game is $25. / We usually just play for quarters. / Well, then you best go home and put on your daddy's shoes, boy. This is a man's game.
Jack: Like, when Lutz here has a good hand, he stops eating.
Jack Character Comedy Observational Jack · Frank: When Frank is bluffing, he asks inane questions to hide his nervousness. / Oh, really, is that what you think? Is that what I do? Am I doing that right now?
Jack Frank Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Tracy · Jack: OK, Rain Man, tell me what I got. / Well, you have two of your cards backwards, actually.
Tracy Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Writer/Lutz: Yeah, well, I bet my rent money, and if I don't pay by the 10th, my mom's gonna throw me out.
Liz · Kenneth: Kenneth, how long you been sitting there? / I'm taking Pete's place, he's in the bathroom, laying in his own sick.
Liz Kenneth Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Liz: Oh, my God. He can't read Kenneth. He's a blank slate.
Liz Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Kenneth: I think I have what they refer to as a royal flush.
Kenneth Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz · Gretchen · Liz · Gretchen: Why would Jack just assume that we're lesbians? / I am a lesbian. / That's awesome. / Is this the first time somebody's made that assumption about you?
Old Woman: You know, you need to brush your teeth more, young man.
Old Woman: Oh, my, what an adorable little lesbian.
Old Woman Absurdist Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Gretchen: He approaches everything the same way... Locate the problem, isolate the problem, set the problem up with a lesbian.
Gretchen Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Liz · Gretchen · Liz: That's a pretty good joke for somebody from plastics. / Well, I wasn't always in plastics. I used to work in water-process technologies, working mainly in primary metals. / Oh, so you have a comedy background?
Liz · Jack · Jack: Your shoes. / Well, I'm straight. / Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.
Jack · Liz · Jack: Did you know his middle name is Ellen? / No, that's weird. / That his Myers-Briggs psychological testing shows a rare combination of extroverted, intuitive, and aggressive? / Really? / It's the same as mine. He could be trouble. / Kenneth? / Kenneth Ellen.
Jack Liz Jack Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Escalation ★ Rewatch Jack: All right, then, you're not a lesbian... I'll correct that on your file.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Jack · Liz · Jack: She thought you looked like Jennifer Jason Leigh. / Really, she said that? / Yes, I made her repeat it. / I was sure she meant Jason Lee.
Liz · Kenneth · Kenneth · Liz: Did you win this, too? / I did. / I love how the light catches it like diamonds. / Kenneth, it is diamonds.
Jack: You are a puzzle, Kenneth Ellen. / And I'm going to solve you.
Jack Character Comedy Escalation Callback Liz · Pete · Pete: I can't believe you bet your wedding ring. / I know. / Weird thing is, I had money left.
Liz Pete Pete Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Callback Liz · Writer 1 · Writer 2 · Writer 3 · Liz: Hey, what famous person would you say I look like? / Present-day Linda Ronstadt. / No, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. / Tootsie. / Oh, never mind.
Jenna: Where is my Emmy? [Jenna searching/demanding]
Jenna Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz · Gretchen · Gretchen: You'd die, and they wouldn't find you until your neighbour's dog smelled you from the hallway. / Oh, yes, and they'd show a picture of you on 'NY1.' / And it's not just choking. Ever since I turned 30, every time I get in or out of the bathtub, I think in my head, 'Careful, careful.'
Liz: I can't... I did not die.
Liz Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Callback Tracy: Damn, Jack, you went all-out. That's a giant shrimp. Made out of shrimp and diving into a bowl of shrimp.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Tracy: I'm tired of losing. I'm gonna let my boy Dot Com play a hand for me.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Tracy: You know, the doctor said I have four hearts in my body?
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Jack · Kenneth: I call. What have you got, Kenneth? / All clovers. I win.
Jack Kenneth Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: Very clever boy, Kenneth, but the curtain has been drawn back now, and I know the real you.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Kenneth: I think he's confusing me with someone else.
Kenneth Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Kenneth: I think he's confusing me with someone else. (Kenneth's talking head/aside after Jack's menacing declaration)
Kenneth Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Writer · Liz: Liz, are you sure you're not gay? Because that chick is hot. / We're just friends, like Oprah and Gayle. / Why is that so hard for everybody to believe?
Writer Liz Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Writer · Liz: Liz, are you sure you're not gay? Because that chick is hot. We're just friends, like Oprah and Gayle. Why is that so hard for everybody to believe?
Jack · Liz · Jack · Liz · Jack · Liz: The guy obsessed with Charlie Chaplin. / Neil. / The one who played Halo under the name Slut Banger. / Dennis. / The gangly, red-haired guy who played guitar all the time. / Conan.
Liz · Jack: So, I should just be a lesbian? / Oh, I'm not saying it'll be easy. You know, get drunk first.
Liz Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Liz · Jack: Why do guys think women can just flip a switch like that? What if I said to you, 'Go be with Frank now'? / Ah, I would be honoured. Frank is a very tender, beautiful man.
Liz Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jack: He's awesome. You can't read his thoughts 'cause he doesn't have any.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Jack: Will you, little Kenneth Ellen Parcell from Stone Mountain, Georgia, growing up in your mama's tract house, dreaming of working on a TV show, dreaming of making it all the way to the NBC?
Jack Character Comedy Escalation Irony/Sarcasm Callback Kenneth: You're scaring me, Mr Donaghy.
Kenneth Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Jack: Hey, I got a fun idea. You put your page jacket on the table. And if you win, you can get it back. If you lose... you go on home. / You go on home, little Kenneth Ellen... all the way to Stone Mountain.
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Escalation Kenneth · Jack: I've got a pair of 25s. / Well, let's just see-by-weeby here. I've got a 2, a 4, a 9, a 6, and a king.
Kenneth Jack Character Comedy Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: That means I win. [Jack declares victory with a completely worthless hand]
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Callback Kenneth: Why? Because I believe that life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. And, also, people were yelling, and I got confused about the rules.
Kenneth Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Why? Because I believe that life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. And, also, people were yelling, and I got confused about the rules.
Kenneth Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jack: I wasn't really going to fire you. I just wanted to remind you that I could.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jack: The Italians have a saying, Lemon. 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' And although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area, they are correct.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline Jack: In five years, we'll all either be working for him... or be dead by his hand.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Escalation Callback Liz: Hey, after IKEA tomorrow, you want to go see Margaret Cho at the Beacon?
Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Gretchen · Liz · Gretchen · Liz · Gretchen: Oh, boy. Oprah? / Yes, Gayle? / I think we need to take a break. / Because I wanted to submit us for 'The Amazing Race'? / Because I was 80% joking about that.
Gretchen · Liz · Liz: I need to move on, find my Stedman. / I thought I was Oprah in this metaphor. / Also, you're gay, so that's a little confusing. You should say, like, 'my lady Stedman.'
Liz: if I try to imagine us being together, I think, 'Yeah, OK, this could be fun.' You know, picking out furniture and making flowerbeds out of old railroad ties.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Liz · Gretchen: What can I say? I love a bald spot and a hairy back. / You're alone there.
Liz Gretchen Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz: OK, what if we made a pact? What if we say that in, like, 25 years, if neither of us has someone, we'll move in together and be roommates? And even though I am not into the sex stuff, if it helps you, I would let you do stuff to me.
Liz Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Gretchen: I can't be around you any more. Bye, Liz.
Gretchen Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Liz: That's funny. That's what the guys always say.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Liz · Male Character · Liz: Who's gonna go with me to cooking class next weekend? / Well, if by 'cooking class' you mean your bed and by 'next weekend' you mean tonight... / Oh, shut up.
Liz · Pete: I can see your wedding ring. / Idiot.
Liz Pete Callback Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback 