Stevie Budd

Stevie:So we cater more to off road truckers and drunk teenagers.

Stevie:You can find it right outside the doors to your left, right beside the Hammam spa. Would you like me to book you a treatment while you're at it?

Stevie:There's a bumper sticker of a naked Helen Mirren.

Stevie:'Cause I wanna hit the pawn shop before it closes. I owe my crack dealer a ton of money, so…

Johnny · Stevie:This bell is broken. / Yeah, sorry. It's more or less decorative.

Stevie:He's a good guy, he's just a big drinker.

Stevie:He's the best one. He's also the only one so...

Stevie:Yeah... unfortunately, due to a lack of everything, we don't do room service.

Johnny · Stevie:I'd rather drink the pipe-water. / I hear ya.

Stevie:No, that's just the way they smell.

Stevie:I just pushed the bed against the wall and put down a bucket where the bed was.

Stevie:Yeah, just fewer pointy hats.

Stevie · Johnny:Apparently the plumber's in rehab.

Stevie:A town this size, you've either been through 'em or know a little too much about 'em.

Alexis · Stevie:I brought vodka as a house gift. / I don't see it.

Stevie:That's funny because your sister texted me from across the bonfire and said you'd probably show up here because you were bored and lonely and had nothing better to do.

Stevie:Your choices are beer or beer.

Stevie:Just open your throat. And go down, 'cause you're tall. / Just widen your throat!

Stevie:You're being super loud right now. I can hear you thought the headphones! So if you can just wrap it up in here. 10 to a 5. Thanks.

Stevie:Not seeing anything in art curating, or trend forecasting, that's weird.

Stevie:Mmm-hmm, exactly.

David · Stevie:I got these at a showroom in Paris. / I got these on clearance rack at Target. / $850. / 850 what? / Eight hundred- / Dollars?! / $850 dollars.

Stevie · David:My car's worth less than your pants. / Well, I've seen your car and that makes sense to me.

Stevie:So I thought you might be lonely without your clothes. So if this isn't too dirty for you, I could help take care of your stuff.

David · Stevie:Wait, you wanna have sex with me? / No. I don't think anybody has sex in here unless they're being paid for it.

Stevie · David:'Oh, all those types of people move away from here.' / 'That's funny.' / 'No, I'm serious.'

Stevie · David:'He finished high school.' / 'I don't love his look.'

Stevie:'looks are important? Oh... Why don't we throw a pageant?'

David · Stevie:'She get it?' / 'Get what?' / 'Like "get it" get it. It, like the vibe.'

Stevie:Can I be on your team? You sound really fun.

Stevie:'believe it or not, we are in the middle of a very intense game of drunken charades and my team is losing. Badly.'

Stevie:'It's not my thing either, but you were right; We're way too similar and I am having a very hard time losing'

Johnny · Moira · Stevie:Johnny frantically yelling 'There's something wrong with the phones!' while everyone scrambles to patch the call around

Stevie:I Googled that bug. It's some sort of demonic cricket that 'takes chunks out of your skin when provoked.' Chunks is the word that Google used.

Stevie:I have this irrational fear they are gonna crawl into my mouth and nest at night

Stevie:That's not a nice thing to say to me.

David · Stevie:(Awkward silence after David mentions plans)

Stevie:Money.

Stevie:'cause usually it's more fun. Usually Ray comes and... gets wasted and... Spends the whole day singing Carole King ballads.

Alexis · Stevie:stop being so generous and nice! / You pinned somebody against a locker?!

Stevie:The baby's relatively normal looking.

Stevie:They're my cousins.

Stevie:Bree's not exactly fussy when it comes to introducing men to her vagina.

Stevie:Mine's shame eating, so yours sounds more fun.

Stevie:his was wrapped around the remote. Don't worry, I threw out the remote.

David · Stevie:This was a good choice. Yep. We make good choices. This was a really healthy choice.

David · Stevie:What? It's your dad. He saw me. Fuck! It's the towels again, we need towels!

Stevie:Okay, this is a face cloth, and a bath mat.

David · Stevie:That was just a... Was a one-time thing. That was a one time... Just a blip... Just a blip. Blop. Just a...

Stevie:I bet nobody thought sex with Trixie was funny.

Stevie:I'm sorry, I just had to get us out of that party. It was like being in an episode of Couples Therapy.

Stevie:Okay, so you're saying that I would be as in shape as you are if I just fixed lights all day?

Stevie:Stevie's observation: 'Wow. He is wearing a tight shirt'

Stevie:Stevie's response: 'I hope so. Wonder what colour I'll get'

Grant · Stevie:Grant and Stevie's shared assessment: 'Such a weird dude. Yes. Yes, he is.'

Stevie:Grant's bathroom disappearance story

Stevie:Stevie's alternative theory: 'or Grant has some serious digestive issues'

Stevie · Alexis:It's a cake. / It's a torte.

Stevie · David:It's a cake. - It's a torte.

Stevie · David:Yeah, so I need to apologise for my behaviour earlier. - Mmm-hmm. - I think it's just that this whole friend... - It's that lady time, huh?

Stevie:It's that lady time, huh?

David · Stevie:Is that okay? - Uh, I normally only slow dance with strangers, at bars... - Right. - After I've had a few... - Uh-huh. But, um, I can make an exception.

Stevie:Uh, I normally only slow dance with strangers, at bars... After I've had a few...

Stevie:I like you. I don't want to like you, but I do.

Stevie:That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Stevie · Moira:Mrs. Rose, you got out of bed. Humph!

Stevie:Well, I'm-I'm sorry for your loss.

Stevie:In fact, I was hoping you wouldn't come back.

Stevie:In fact, I'm having a hard time remembering when I wasn't over it.

Stevie · David:How do you know it's cedar? - Um, I bought a cologne once, in Japan, that's supposed to smell like the aftermath of a car crashing into a cedar tree.

Stevie · David:Why would anyone wanna smell like that? - Hmm?

Stevie · David:You're planning on building a cedar chest? - That's correct. - You are. You're gonna build it? - It's a box! So you're just nailing some planks of wood together.

Stevie · David:May the force be with you. - Thank you so much. Thank you, genuinely. Honestly, you're so great.

Stevie · David:Has Paul Bunion finished his box? - Who?

Stevie:Wow, this whole thing just got a lot weirder.

Stevie · David:Will you be needing your basic toolbox, or your 'cedar chest' tool box? - Obviously the cedar chest tool box!

Stevie:Oh, that's in the shed. It's a big wooden box, with the words, 'tools to make a cedar chest' carved into the side of it, so it's really clear...

David · Stevie:Okay, I'm assuming you're kidding. Um... But in the off chance that you're not, where in the shed would I find that box? - You're kidding.

Stevie:While I admire your courage, uh, when it comes to fashion, I'm just not the best person to ask.

Stevie:Can I help you cling to lies, and not drive you to Elmdale?

Stevie:I've never been to France.

Stevie · David:But I have my sister's communion this weekend. Okay, don't do that. Don't do what?

Stevie:it's the same one we use to celebrate my mom's divorces.

Stevie · David:Okay, I'll just drop a little raisin in here to release the bubbles. Blechhh! That's no necessary!

Stevie:I was gonna leave, but now I don't want to.

Stevie:You sound like my conscience.

Stevie:I would rather be here by myself than engage in meaningless conversation with people I don't care about.

Stevie:It's like everybody saw you coming, and left.

Stevie:Well, if you start walking now, you'll get there before breakfast.

Stevie:Well, if you start walking now, you'll get there before breakfast.

Stevie:we are the only people here under sixty.

Stevie · David:Do you wanna break? / Um, from what?

Stevie:You sound a bit like a dictator.

Stevie:I actually went to college, but sure.

Stevie:The top eleven photographs of Moira Rose with future murder suspects.

Stevie · Moira:That's your face. Yes, it's my character from 'Sunrise Bay,' but it's been put on the body of what I can only assume is an Indonesian lady boy.

Stevie:I thought maybe you just had a tan.

Stevie:She's an IT manager, Gerald. She makes more money than both of us combined.

Stevie:four more taxidermy peacocks coming this afternoon

Stevie:I need someone to take care of my stepdaughter. I need you to take care of my stepdaughter.

David · Stevie:I don't think that's a very good idea. I'm gonna drop her off at four.

Stevie:You're joking. But you hate kids. Oh my God. Can I watch? Or video tape? Can I bring friends?

Stevie:I wouldn't really describe any apartment as cute in this town.

Stevie · David:What series? / Dateline. / I played a boy who got abducted from a grocery store.

Stevie · David:Hmm, bet that got you laid. / It did. It really did.

Stevie:Are you telepathic or something, because I have been thinking about asking you that question every day this week.

David · Stevie:I was just kidding. / Oh... no yeah, me too.

David · Stevie:Mutt's having a soiree? / Well, I'm sure you're invited. / Yeah, no. Yeah, no, why wouldn't I be?

David · Stevie:I really would have to basically throw all my self-respect just right out the window. / Aww, that's so sweet.

Stevie:I wouldn't do that if I were you... Mutt made those ice cubes from well water, so... they smell a little fishy.

David · Stevie:No, I've just never seen you this dressed up before. / I do what I want.

Stevie:Having swam in both ponds, I can say that I might be able to navigate those waters a little bit better than you.

David · Stevie:Because we just necked out behind the barn. / Seriously, what makes you think that? / Because we put our mouths together, out behind the barn.

Stevie · David:Just so you know, I kissed him too. / Well, that didn't happen. / Who's to say?

Stevie:Uh, first of all, who says they're sloppy, and second, who's to say we're not getting his sloppy thirds?!

Stevie:Who knows how many people he's got on the go at this point?

Stevie:Okay, well all I know is that someone is sloppy... and it's not me!

Stevie · Jake:Don't wanna set a bad example for the rest of the motel staff. I thought you were the only one that worked there. Yeah, that's another good reason to go.

Stevie · Jake:Yeah, he's just very fragile. - He's like a snowflake.

Stevie · David:I'm trying to warn you... That you are going to be ending things with him. And I appreciate that, but message has been delivered. Loud and clear.

Stevie · David:No I wasn't. Uh, you showed up for the date. No I didn't. You're literally here in the restaurant!

Stevie:But if it makes you feel any better, nobody hates me more than me. Generally speaking.

Stevie:did someone die, or are we going through like, a mid-life Goth phase?

David · Stevie:Someone died. / Okay, I'm just finding the bulbs to make my skin look very jaundice-y.

Stevie · David:Okay, and now I can't tell whether you're playing into the joke, or whether um... you're telling the truth. / She was 78.

David · Stevie:That side of my family has a bit of a reputation for conflict. / And philandering. / And fraud. / And gun-play.

Stevie:So I just need to take up palm reading, get a few cats, move to Saskatchewan. Well, a girl could dream.

Stevie · David:So we're drinking to me not becoming an alcoholic? / Mhmm. / Off to a good start.

Lawyer · Stevie:That is the deed to the motel. / Sorry? / Maureen Budd owned the motel.

Stevie:Was she of sound mind?!

Stevie · Johnny · Moira:Stevie's sobbing interrupting Johnny and Moira's complaint about the faucet

Johnny · Stevie:Johnny's 'temporary fix' being a sandwich bag secured with an elastic

Johnny · Stevie:Johnny's business advice: 'when that idea comes, it's going to appear so obvious' followed immediately by Stevie's practical suggestion about charging full price

Johnny · Stevie:Your new partner just booked three rooms, before you even got in this morning. / Wow. Ha!

Stevie · Johnny:So you're renting our rooms by the hour?! / We haven't had a guest in four days!

Stevie · Johnny:You don't hear it, when you say it like that? / I hear it a bit.

Johnny · Stevie:A weekend of golf, and a stay at a luxurious motel. What motel is that? I'm gonna let them work out the verbiage

Stevie:Except there was this one point in high school where I got this haircut that everyone said made me look like I was in the LPGA.

Johnny · Stevie:I might even let you drive the cart. - Can you drink on the cart? - Yeah. Well, I will get the "back in 15 minutes" sign.

Johnny · Stevie:Well, it's gonna take longer than 15 minutes. You have to give people hope.

Roland · Stevie:Well, the set up is very important, Stevie. Uh, legs so far apart, - knees slightly bent. - Ooh! Make sure you're nice and balanced over the ball. Yeah, woo!

Stevie · Johnny · Roland:Yeah, this is just a little hard to understand, so I want a record of it. Okay, delete that, please! Can I get a copy of that?

Johnny · Stevie:Uh, we were playing at um... it was what course, Stevie? It was down the road. Uh, Maple... Grove? Grove, Maple Grove.

Johnny · Stevie:Uh, we were playing at um... it was what course, Stevie? It was down the road. Uh, Maple... Grove? Grove, Maple Grove.

Stevie:Okay, let's get our golf sticks.

Stevie · David · Stevie:That's actually really convenient, because I forgot to have breakfast, and I'm running low on fungal cream, so... I don't wanna hear you say fungal again. Fungal?

David · Stevie:David's horror at hearing 'fungal' again

Stevie:What you lack in most things, you make up for in unsubstantiated confidence.

David · Stevie:They paid for everything, it's like a form of child abuse. Don't quote me on this, but it seems like their intentions were good.

Stevie:Yeah, I mean, they do give me a small weekly stipend for to hanging out with you, so...

Stevie:Some guy who's working at Ray's told you your business was a failure?

Stevie:I'm incapable of faking sincerity. I'm also just incapable of sincerity in general.

David · Stevie:He's most likely wearing a very expensive sweater, that doesn't look very expensive. / Is he like, really... Really handsome in a homeless-y way sort of way? Yes.

Stevie · David:He's walking. / He's walking. / He's walking towards here. / Where is he walking to? / And now he's coming in / Now he's coming in... and so he's here. / He's here.

Sebastien · Stevie · David:You must be David's girlfriend. / No... / No, I own The Motel, so that makes me more like your landlord? / No. It doesn't.

Sebastien · Stevie · David:I'd love to Polaroid you naked one day. / Okay. / Okay?!

David · Stevie:A platonic sleepover?

Stevie:That would be a shower cap.

Stevie:Can you drink these?

Stevie:I like him. I like you.

Stevie:This is really fun for me. I'm having a lot of fun.

Stevie:Guest bedroom, what is he, Bill Gates?

Stevie · Johnny:Have you tried restarting it? - What? - Oh. Sorry, I thought you were having trouble with the computer again.

Stevie:Are you sure you didn't put the same reservation in twice? Because you've done that before.

Stevie:Oh, yeah, that burnt out years ago. Sadly it hasn't been an issue, but... Maybe we could use the 'no' from the 'no refunds' sign.

Stevie · Johnny:I don't think we're those kind of people. - In the sky! Here we go! Yeah! Big day!

Stevie:So I think I'm crashing a date?

Stevie:It's very nicely wrapped. So I think I'm crashing a date? - He thinks you guys were here, one-on-one. He brought you a present. I didn't even get you a present.

Stevie:if there's anything remotely sentimental in here, he is on a date with you right now.

Patrick · Stevie:So you put it on the table? - Yeah.

Johnny · Stevie:Hey partner, what's the good word? There's a dead guy in Room 4.

Stevie:Like, checked out without paying, asleep.

Stevie:Oh, I'm sorry, did you just see a dead body?

Stevie:Do I look like a coroner?

Stevie · Johnny:It feels like every time the motel sells out, someone dies. Uh, we've only sold out one night. Exactly.

Stevie:Yeah, it's mandatory.

Patrick · David · Stevie:David and I were just in the back doing some inventory. / Yeah. / Hmm, yeah

Stevie · David:If you give me $50 bucks I'll stand outside, and tell people you're on lunch. / I'll give you 50 cents to stand outside and never come back!

Stevie:Well, if you must know, work's been really stressful, so I'm going to take a little me time at a spa in Elmdale

Patrick · Stevie:Well, it's not exactly before work the store opened about 25 minutes ago, so. But yes, there is a chain, and no, you're not on it.

Stevie · Patrick:What? Nothing, I just um, just remembering all those times that you compromised. I was just thinking about the same things, because there, there's so many to flip through.

Stevie · Patrick:Yeah, pretty much.

Stevie:Um, you know that YouTube video of the giraffe and the kitten who are best friends? Okay, well the giraffe stepped on the kitten.

Stevie:Maybe the storm warning was for yesterday.

Stevie:Okay, I don't have all the answers.

Stevie:They're just a placebo effect for people who feel the need to complain.

Stevie:Those cards are written by embittered people with way too much time on their hands. A lot of these are from Mom.

Stevie:I had strep at the time.

Alexis · Stevie:the woman's voice was aggressive and off-putting. / I had strep at the time.

Stevie:What the fuck does that mean?

Stevie:Stevie's Place sounds like a shelter for battered men.

Stevie:the more likely you are to take off, and then I will be left here stuck with way more responsibility than I ever asked for.

Stevie · Alexis:So David's at work and you had nobody else to talk to? / What? / That's...

Stevie:This is why I choose not to be in a relationship.

Stevie:Because you're having boyfriend issues, and this is my reluctant attempt at being supportive.

Stevie:I also have a Groupon, which I was planning on using with Jake, but I thought you might need it more

Stevie:You're a monster.

Stevie:He's just... really good at celebrating my body.

David · Stevie · David:Okay I'm not playing into your fraudulent behaviour. / You still want the free booze, right? / Gimme the ring.

Stevie:I just worry that if we don't put the hats on, that the other guests will inevitably force us to.

Stevie:This is from a Patrick. Says, 'have fun, enjoy the night. Thinking about you.'

David · Stevie · David:I think you're my best friend. / You think? / Well, I can't know for sure, because I'm realizing now that I don't think I've ever really had one.

Stevie:Okay, well, if we're being honest, I don't think I've ever had one, either.

Stevie:It's like a briefcase full of makeup.

Johnny · Stevie:Aren't you forgetting something? - Uh, I just... just don't know how to thank you. - Oh, that smile on your face is all I need.

Stevie · Alexis:Did someone mention the posture thing? - What? - What is the utility shirts?

Alexis · Stevie:Like he built David a basketball court for his Bar Mitzvah. - Oh boy, okay. - Mm hmm. And unfortunately, the only way to like, train it out of him, is to show him just how wrong the gift is.

Alexis · Stevie:Oh, and also, he gave me a diamond tennis bracelet for my Sweet 16. - That's bad. - I know.

Stevie:You know what the great thing about this is? Right after work, I can do go a quick shift over at Bazonga's Gentleman's Lounge.

Stevie · David:Well, typically the person who throws the shower, pays for the shower. - Well, that wasn't part of the agreement. - Well, what did you say to her? - I told her I'd take care of it. - Ah!

Stevie · David:Oh, so it's more of a sprinkle, then. - What the hell is a sprinkle? - No, it's like a shower, but for your second kid. It's not a full shower, it's like a sprinkle.

David · Stevie:Yeah, well, she's one person, and everyone knows you don't plan a whole party around one person. - Maybe you do, if the party is for her. - Says who?

Stevie · David:Okay. He meant pop-up store, right? Honestly, David, it took him like 2 weeks to learn rollout, so...

Stevie:Uh I know it's for the guests, but it's like really good stuff, and this is extra.

Stevie:Nothing, just rolling things out, like you asked me to.

Stevie:I don't know, okay! It might be causing the rash, but it's also the only thing that's making it feel better.

Stevie:You been goin' to the gym, 'cause that looked effortless?

Stevie:Uh-oh. I think that's Roland's phone

Stevie:Roland, it's happening. And then baby. And then, like a whole row of baby emojis, and an explosion

Stevie · Johnny:I didn't. You're the one who put his phone on silent. Because you didn't know how to

Stevie:Well, David, I gotta hand it to you. We've already sold half of our massage oils. It's like you're an oracle when it comes to the sex lives of lonely people.

Stevie:I know I'll never be able to compete with Mariah

Stevie:It's like the 12 Days of Christmas, but it's 1 day with 12 bottles of wine.

Stevie:Ooh, burn, David!

Stevie:Nana Bud worked real hard for those.

David · Patrick · Stevie:Do you have time to mood-board a color scheme? - Does anyone? - No.

Stevie:Nanna Bud worked real hard for those.

Stevie:Seriously, nobody should light a match in here.

Stevie · Moira · Johnny:She-she's not my mother. - Who are those voices? - Uh, your children!

Stevie:Your natural deodorant isn't working.

Stevie · David:Stevie reveals David's poor score on relationship quiz from M'Lady Magazine 1991

Stevie · David:Stevie observes David took the quiz multiple times despite calling it garbage

Stevie · David:You guys could be a 'Total Power Failure.' - Mm! Eat glass.

Stevie:Stevie's interpretation: 'Fill a big, black empty hole in your life'

Stevie · Johnny:Nobody drinks that rocket fuel, Mr. Rose. - I know it tastes like something I found in that gutter out there, but uh... it's the pick-me-up I need

Stevie:Stevie's relationship wisdom: 'I hope that someday I find someone who I can stand long enough to feel a little lost when they're not around'

Stevie · Robber:Do you have bad skin? / Yeah, sure, just hurry it up!

Stevie:I can't believe you just offered him the wine.

Stevie:Well, at least we know if the cops don't get him, his cholesterol will.

Stevie:Thanks.

Stevie:Everyone agreed that I was the normal one in my cellblock at the women's prison, so.

Stevie:Oh, disappeared? I'll never stop looking.

Stevie:I thought it was $40. I also need shampoo.

Stevie:What I love about this conversation is how well it goes with lunch.

Stevie:Uh, just driving... to meet my sister... in Florida.

Stevie:I'm a plant.

Stevie · Emir:I'm a plant. / I'm sorry?

Stevie:Compared to what, a haunted house?

Stevie:Wow, that's a lot of pressure to put on cherry blossoms.

David · Stevie:You had the dirty motel sex with? / Well, when you put it that way it sorta cheapens it

Stevie · David:Two hours ago. / And we're sure this is the right hotel? / He's not coming. I'm an idiot.

Stevie:He's not coming. I'm an idiot.

Stevie:Oh, you'll be getting every round.

Stevie:My mom was engaged to two pizza delivery guys. Can that count? 'Cause I am really thirsty.

Stevie:Because never have I ever been so bored.

Alexis · Stevie:what would you do if Patrick and I suddenly kissed at a party? / Or Patrick and me.

Stevie:Yum. That was fun.

Stevie:A double-cassette of the 'Best Body Swaps of Sunrise Bay', Season 21

Stevie:I've been asked to retrieve it for a customer with wonderful taste.

Stevie:Oh! Oh! Oh my God, Mr. Rose! Oh!

Stevie:Taking a personal photo... For my doctor.

Stevie · David · Roland:Mr. Rose saw me topless. - Oh! Oh! - No! No!

David · Stevie:Okay so I told Patrick that there's a salmonella outbreak at the café, so he will not be coming here until I tell him to tonight. Is it possible you could maybe choose a lie that doesn't make the café look like it's in violation of health codes?

Stevie · Johnny:Did you run here, Mr. Rose? No! Just a pleasant walk.

Johnny · Stevie:romantically in business with each other. Ew!

David · Johnny · Stevie:I mean, what do they think, I'm just his business partner?! Possibly. I mean, yeah.

Stevie:Flowers are for you; the pizza's my lunch.

Stevie:'Happy birthday' was too wordy, and we couldn't nail it at rehearsal.

Stevie · Alexis:I don't. / Fine, 'artist'.

Stevie:I can't think of anything worse than standing on a stage in front of a room full of people.

Stevie:Oh, fuck.

Moira · Stevie:Once... Upon... A... Nightmare... My... Captor... Was... Dismembering...

Stevie:I'm wearing my maroon plaid hoodie. And I'm feeling... very uncomfortable.

Stevie:Last night she texted me at 3 A.M. and all it said was 'leggings.'

Stevie:Karen's a new one.

David · Stevie:What the actual fuck?! / They've ripped off our entire store.

Stevie:Oh. Is it possible you could maybe... choose a lie that doesn't make the cafe look like it's in violation of health codes?

Stevie · Johnny:Did you run here, Mr. Rose? / No! Just a pleasant walk.

Stevie:Ew!

Johnny · Stevie:Possibly. / I mean, yeah.

Stevie:Also, we're going with 'Surprise.' 'Happy Birthday' was too wordy, and we couldn't nail it at rehearsal.

Patrick · Stevie · David:Did he just say 'merriment?' / I think he did. / Yes, I said 'merriment.' Because that's what happens when I spend too much time with my mother

Stevie:I don't do math.

Stevie:Yep, I'm just really not looking forward to folding those programs.

Stevie:What the fuck?!

Stevie:I left my phone at home, which I realize was a really big mistake

Stevie:I was more upset that I had to drive to Elmdale today

Stevie:I also appreciate this burlesque-y get up

Stevie:I also appreciate this burlesque-y get up.

Stevie:You're an almost married man, now

Stevie:Jeez, Moira, I wait 'til at least 10:30 before I have my first beer.

Stevie:You know, Moira, if Johnny locked you in that closet, we're going to have to call the police.

Stevie:I've actually been jealous of your trip. Like, you're getting out there, seeing the world.

Stevie · Alexis:your flight's not leaving for another month. Yeah, but it's day before month, so you're not leaving on July 8th, you're leaving on August 7th.

Stevie · Roland:I'm-I'm not sure about that. / No surprise there, Johnny, I told you she's not the visionary you and I are.

Stevie · Johnny:Maybe it's because of the coffin. This is a funeral, Roland!

Stevie:Since I wasn't in the curling league, can I go home?

David · Stevie:Okay, 'Larrierre' sounds like a dollar-store perfume. It's an airline. Larry is the name of the CEO.

Stevie:He used to own a chain of delis, but then he sold them to buy a bunch of planes.

David · Stevie:You know that I was once told that I would make an excellent flight attendant. By who? Sandy, the hostess on our private plane.

David · Stevie:if it's between the two of us, we all know who's getting the job. / if this is what we're working with, I think we can hand me the contract today.

Stevie · David:So you wanna be a youth pastor? / While that joke was surprisingly sharp, these are Patrick's clothes.

Stevie · David · Carol:I'd say my biggest weakness is... that I'm disorganized. Ooh, that's true. And, um, I'm indecisive. Yes. Uh... I also... Okay. We just needed one.

Stevie:Too bad they didn't have a branzino to de-bone because you would've got this.

Stevie · David:You are such a sore loser. I am not! I'm not. It's just, do you really wanna work for a place that clearly doesn't know what they're doing?

Stevie · David:Oh, well, they really want me to work for them, so I have to trust that they do know what they're doing. Admit it. I'm more qualified than you. Fine. Admit it. You're more qualified than me. Thank you!

David · Stevie:let's see what exciting new job opportunities await you in your new career as an airline hostess. / I am so embarrassed for you! Now, I would love to use one of Larry Air's 'completely private' new paid toilets.

Stevie:So how safe can the plane be if I'm the one in charge of saving people's lives?

Stevie:Did you know that Larry Air has 18 ongoing lawsuits? One of which is from Larry himself.

Stevie:I'm now unemployed in my thirties. For the second time in a week.

Stevie:I do. It's a death trap that needs to be set on fire and pushed off a cliff.

Stevie:driving his fiancé to go get his wisdom teeth out is totally within my maid-of honour responsibilities.

Patrick · Stevie:Look at me. Two years ago, I thought I'd have a wife and kid at this point. / Yeah, well, one out of two isn't bad. / I've been told I'm... very young at heart.

Johnny · Stevie:I'm glad you didn't feel you needed to clean up on my account, you know? It shows just how comfortable a friendship we actually have. / I did clean up. / Right. That's... what I meant.

Johnny · Stevie:I wanna buy you out. / Oh!

Johnny · Stevie:It's, uh, being finicky. / Uh, remember, Mr. Rose? I left you a sticky note.

Stevie:Roland. I know. He gave me his new business card. Never saw so many typos on a business card.

Stevie:This is fucked.

Stevie:Can I not have one thing for myself?

Stevie:Stevie: 'Nah, but I'll do your class.'

Stevie · Alexis:Well, you pushed pretty hard for it, Alexis. - You said you'd buy me lunch.

Stevie · Jocelyn:How does he know all of our names? - Am I crazy or is he really cute?

Ronnie · Stevie:Nah. - What if I just wait in the car until you're ready for lunch? 'Cause I'm just getting a really weird vibe from this place.

Stevie:What if I just wait in the car until you're ready for lunch?

Stevie:Stevie's weak 'oh yeah' response to cult enthusiasm

Stevie:Okay, yeah, I didn't hate it, but I mean, does anybody even know what 'the gateway' is?

Alexis · Stevie:'Cults prey on sad, weak, vulnerable people' followed by 'I'll try not to take that personally'

Stevie:Stevie revealing she knew it was a cult all along

Stevie:How long is this gonna take, Johnny, should I cancel my New Year's plans?

Stevie:or I do have head shots from my pageant days that I could mail out to them.

Stevie:I can think of a handful of people who'd wanna egg David.

Stevie:Ronnie found termite damage in Room Six and apparently the entire foundation is about to collapse.

Stevie:Oh, no, I had yours custom-made.

Stevie:putting me in charge of your joint bachelor party was a big mistake, right?

Stevie:David sent me a seven-page e-mail with the subject line, 'The Bachelor Party of My Dreams'

Stevie:Your family hasn't responded to a single email, so they will be doing what we tell them to do.

Stevie:I'm pretty sure I can keep this one to myself.

Stevie:I don't think you mentioned your name.

Stevie:how 'bout you shh for a sec

Moira · David · Stevie:You can use my phone, John! / You still have your phone?! / We all have our phones!

Stevie:Mr. Rose, you're stressing me out. And I just chugged a bottle of CBD oil.

Stevie:Can we maybe stop with the drum circle? Just-I'm just not feeling great. Are private planes always that bumpy?

Johnny · Stevie · Roland:Agree? - Agree. - Sure.

Stevie:Uh, do you know if there is water where we're going? 'Cause I just got a sudden case of dry mouth.

Stevie:I like your offices. Office.

Stevie · Bryce:you might be thinking to yourself these motels are small, how and why should I... We invest? Well, that's a good question. - I should hope so. It's why we're all here.

Stevie:Reinvigoration. [screen freezes] Um, should I just wait until it unfreezes?

Roland · Stevie · Johnny:What are you guys pumpin' in here, pollen? Do you mind if I have some of that water there, please. - Jesus. - Oh gosh! - Roland! What are you doing? - What?

Stevie · Roland:What was in that briefcase anyway? - Nothing. You told me to look intimidating. So I brought a briefcase.

Stevie:Do you people know what it took for Johnny Rose to come back and do this? After being away for all that time? Shame on you. Shame on all of you.

Stevie:Okay. I just realized you guys are flying us home. So I apologize for my outburst, but I don't regret it.

Stevie:The man's a legend.

David · Stevie · Roland:So you're like a businesswoman now. - Damn right I am. - I sealed the deal. It was really me.

David · Stevie:Your... Hair. Is in a ponytail because I didn't wash it.

Stevie · David:You're taking Patrick on a trip to New York? Uh, no. We're moving there with all of you! What? Do you think we're gonna stay here all by ourselves?

Stevie:I mean, I realized I didn't need to live in a big city. I... guess I just needed to know that I could.

Stevie:Can we stop talking about this? I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Stevie · David:So you're finally getting out. Yeah. Um... I should probably go talk to my husband.

Stevie · David:How many years have I known you, And I still can't figure out what goes on inside your head. Join the club.

Stevie · David:Why do you wanna go back to a place That's done nothing but hurt your feelings? Because I want those people to know that I'm not a joke. And that I've won.

David · Stevie:Did you put on deodorant today? Excuse me? I know, it might be the farm. It's the farm. Okay. I smelled something. It's not me! All right! We're leaving! Relax.

Stevie · David:I don't think it's gonna look like a wedding dress unless you guys are standing next to each other. She's walking me down the aisle!

David · Stevie:- Is that a bow in the back? - Don't, David.

Stevie · David:I personally would not have missed this for the whole wide world. Okay. You're only saying that 'cause you haven't gone to bed yet.

Moira · Stevie:Yes, just as sweet as the liqueur wafting off your breath. I also didn't go to bed last night.