Opening Night

I haven't bedazzled anything since I was 22.

David, you were dressed like a harlequin, and you were gluing shiny jewels...

perhaps that was just a night terror.

Oh, of course you are.

David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican!

I see uh, David's made you feel right at home.

In an 'afternoon delight.'

Is that term still a going thing? - No, that's no. - No, never say that again. - Don't do that.

If you take half as much care of our son as you do your physique, David should be in very good hands.

You're like a predator!

Your next big opportunity, that's who.

you'll know the software is working if you don't see any changes.

He didn't even look at my computer! That's how good he is.

there's uh... a cardboard box over there, you know, if you do feel like you wanna... you know, pack up your things.

Uh, first of all, who says they're sloppy, and second, who's to say we're not getting his sloppy thirds?!

Who knows how many people he's got on the go at this point?

Okay, well all I know is that someone is sloppy... and it's not me!

Well, hello, everyone! What time is curtain?

If we look to have given up on ourselves, how can we assure our constituents that we haven't given up on them as well?

let the road take us where it wants. No plans, no phones, no schedules. Basically my worst nightmare.

or the father who got stuck in a mine!

That extra half hour could be the difference between a child who gets picked up safely, and one who wanders the street, waiting for a dust-covered man to emerge from the darkness!

Homeless toddlers?! Tugging at your pant legs?!

This isn't 'Sunrise Bay,' where everybody lives in a perfect dream world!

Ohhh, okay, why don't I just tiptoe into my orchard of money trees, and fill my basket with money for you!

And while we're at it, why don't I gather up some diamond carrots, and some golden potatoes! And I don't mean the kind of potatoes you eat, I mean, the... potatoes that are made out of actual gold.

well then, just call me Johnnymichael.

Screamnastic inner/outer beauty connectivity.

Oh, we don't call them that.

I think I'm getting a little high... from the fumes.

One of my fondest memories from childhood were weekdays, between 5:30 and 6 P.M. That was our time!

You literally could not have said that any faster.

We're picking pinecones. I got this old compass at a flea market; we're just gonna drive until we see the pine trees. I'm pretty sure the compass is broken, though.

Which you must really be... 'pining' for by now!

Stay away from the Cafe, the olives are bad.

Oh John, you smell like my mother!

Not at this exact moment perhaps, you have an olive stain on your tie.

Um yeah, I would love to order something else, but I'm just having trouble... seeing the menu. Yeah, so um... if we could somehow make it brighter in here?

and I'll have a bowl of room temperature hollandaise sauce, please.

A toast!

Well I, for one think we should celebrate your resilience! A toast!