Mutt Schitt

Alexis · Mutt:Speaking of unfit homes, why do you live in a barn? / What's wrong with living in a barn? / Mm... nothing, if you're a goat.

Mutt:Mutt revealing David's 'nervous breakdown' diagnosis: 'Ted told me all about your... Nervous breakdown.' 'When he said it was someone "precious," I knew.'

Alexis · Mutt:Alexis accidentally touching Mutt inappropriately during yoga: 'Omigod! Omigod! I'm so sorry. I'm sssso sorry.' with exaggerated panic

Mutt:You know that if it's in your dreams, or over the clothes, it's not cheating, right?

Mutt:Well, who says I can't do both?

Mutt · David:You had a bug in your hair. - Oh. Ew!

Alexis · Mutt:Um, did you have to kill a man to get it, or... / I did.

Mutt:I wore this thing to prom, like, 1,000 years ago, but it did bring me some luck that night, so I wore it here tonight.

Mutt:I wore this thing to prom, like, 1,000 years ago, but it did bring me some luck that night, so I wore it here tonight.

Alexis · Mutt:Why did you do all that extra community service, Mutt? / I like to stay active. / Really?

Mutt · Alexis:You know why! / Why can't you just say it?

Mutt:Actually, you're standing in my living room, you let yourself in.

Mutt:I would love to feel worse about your parents not selling the town, but...

Mutt:Thanks, I make sure to moisturize.

David · Mutt:David measuring sweaters with his body while Mutt watches from the doorway

Mutt · David:Well, how far along are you? - Um, I'm this far.

Mutt · David:Yeah, well, I can't not jump in and help when I see someone doin' something wrong. - Was it wrong, or was it just unconventional?

Mutt · David:Are you just saying that because you don't want her to move back here? - Yes, I am!

Mutt · Alexis:Well, you said you missed spin class, so... I did! I did say that I missed spin class. And so you bought me a bike! Because I said that I missed spin class. Because you're so thoughtful and perceptive.

Alexis · Mutt:I don't know how to ride a bike. What? I said, I don't know how to ride a bike!

Mutt:It's just, you're talking about how nice it is not to talk, but you're still, talking about it.

Mutt:Well, that is an understatement.

Mutt · Alexis:My beard is your favorite thing about me! - I said one of my favorite things. - No, no, no, no. You said, 'favorite thing!'

Mutt · Alexis:let the road take us where it wants. No plans, no phones, no schedules. Basically my worst nightmare.

Tennessee · Mutt:We're picking pinecones. I got this old compass at a flea market; we're just gonna drive until we see the pine trees. I'm pretty sure the compass is broken, though.

Mutt:Oh well, I uh, I don't know if you heard, but I'm gonna have a little brother soon, so yeah, I couldn't miss that.

Mutt:Yeah, a nice little home for a family of raccoons. I had to evict them, though, and they didn't go quietly.

Mutt:I won't turn down the help, but you don't have to worry about the plants, they are very, very dead.

Mutt:She's married to Moonshine now, the owner of the cone farm.

Mutt:Compass broke halfway there, we ended up following a star for 2 days.

Mutt:That day I picked 700 cones! Well, Moonshine and his daughter, Petal, said it was the biggest one-day haul they'd ever seen. They gave me the Cone of Achievement, which allowed me to take 2 showers that week.

Mutt:I can crack open a bottle of cone wine? Feeling risky?

Mutt:Makes you wonder if it's us?