Honeymoon

This was a good choice. Yep. We make good choices. This was a really healthy choice.

What? It's your dad. He saw me. Fuck! It's the towels again, we need towels!

Okay, this is a face cloth, and a bath mat.

Are you in danger? Blink, if you're in danger.

Well, I, uh... I've got everything I need. Good seeing you both.

So, was it cute for you, or what? It was fine. It was... It was weird. It was good. Love that. It was good but weird. I love that!

Ted wants to meet my friends, so I think it's getting kind of serious. It's been two weeks.

Because a podunk baby out of wedlock is not something your father and I can afford to negotiate at this moment.

Well, that's crazy, because all I want is some podunk baby out of wedlock!

I think that you two really, actually need the idea of, um, getting a life.

Uh, walking over to the cafe and ordering a tuna melt is hardly what I would call a 'flourishing social life.'

Well, now I don't remember. Yeah, I don't remember.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I wonder whether David's whole sexually adventurous thing was just a phase. It's not a phase.

That was just a... Was a one-time thing. That was a one time... Just a blip... Just a blip. Blop. Just a...

Blippity blop. Blippity blip.

You know that if it's in your dreams, or over the clothes, it's not cheating, right?

Event. Oh, it's more of a soiree.

Pineapples, pig on the spit, the whole nine yards. Oh, you, uh, roast pigs? We do! Sure do. We have a big one hanging in the garage.

Hoity-toity. All right, I've said it.

I like the wine and not the label.

No, no, no, I absolutely did that. Just wept for hours in the dark.

So this whole room... Just gets delivered, as is. This is the 'bachelor's den' here, and then that's the 'executive dining lounge'

Oh, I should take the rolls out of the microwave. Hot rolls!

Twyla, I love your outfit, you look like a waitress!

I just wanna wipe my hands all over that! You just keep getting funnier. I'm not joking though, I really do.

Now, listen. I'm the guy in charge of upholding the law here, so if you have any ideas about turning me in, you'd just be turning me in to myself.

Spark it up, Roley! Spark it up.

We had friends in the FDA, but... When in Rome...

The judicial system is really cracking down on its delinquents these days, huh?

Nothing. I mean, we talk, but... We don't really talk about anything. Like, nothing.

Thank you, Stevie. I ordered it online from a restaurant supply place. No sales tax.

What if I had not been crowned Dairy Princess and moved to the city with my driving instructor?

Who's the eyebrows buying everyone's drinks?

It was funny? Yeah, it was a... It was a fun... It was a funny... It was... Yes.

I bet nobody thought sex with Trixie was funny.

My son is pansexual. I've heard of that. I know what that is, that's, uh, that cookware fetish.

But, you know, just pick one gender, and stick with it. Maybe everything would've been less... Confusing.

I'm sorry, I just had to get us out of that party. It was like being in an episode of Couples Therapy.

Well, you deserve a Daytime Emmy for that performance.

Not the fact that you're sleeping with a girl, but, you know, I'd be just as happy if you were to bring home one of your guy friends.

Grass, too much grass. Hey, track that cycle, missy!