Angela and Kevin were trying to figure out where extra money in the budget came from. Jan let them know it was money Dunder-Mifflin received for hiring an ex-convict. Michael swore he never hired an ex-convict. Jan informed him that the person must have come from the merger.
WAR
79.4
Wins Above Replacement
“The Convict” ranks #43 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 90.9 — Elite. The episode packs 59 scored jokes at 3.4 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Michael: Employee: 'Dementors like in Harry Potter?' Prison Mike: 'No, not Harry Potter. There were no movies in prison. This is my point.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Dwight · Various Office Workers: Employee: 'Prison Mike, what's the very, very worst thing about prison?' Dwight: 'Don't encourage him.' Prison Mike: 'The worst thing about prison was... was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt.'
Andy · Pam: Andy speaks pig Latin to Pam: 'Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?' Pam is silent. Andy: 'Think about it. I'll hit you back.'
Andy Pam Cringe/Discomfort Awkward Silence Callback Michael: Michael's talking head: 'I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Michael's final talking head about Martin: 'Martin went from being a new guy from Stamford to a convict, to my friend, back to a convict, then to kind of a nuisance, actually, if we can be completely honest. And finally to a quitter. And I will not miss him. And that is not because he is black.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Standout Moments
Andy · Pam: Andy speaks pig Latin to Pam: 'Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?' Pam is silent. Andy: 'Think about it. I'll hit you back.'
Andy Pam Cringe/Discomfort Awkward Silence Callback Michael · Dwight · Various Office Workers: Employee: 'Prison Mike, what's the very, very worst thing about prison?' Dwight: 'Don't encourage him.' Prison Mike: 'The worst thing about prison was... was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt.'
Michael: Employee: 'Dementors like in Harry Potter?' Prison Mike: 'No, not Harry Potter. There were no movies in prison. This is my point.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 59 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael: Michael holds the baby and says 'Hey, look at me! I'm a baby!'
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Michael: Michael, still 'being the baby,' monologues: 'I'm one of those babies from Look Who's Talking. What am I thinking? Look at all those staplers. What's a stapler? I don't even know.'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Michael: Michael, as the baby, says 'I'm thirsty, Mama. I want some milk. And you know where milk comes from. Breasts!'
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Jim: Jim's talking head: 'Yes, I've started to see Karen. It's very new, and I'm not really ready to talk about it openly yet... just because I think once the word gets out there, it might affect the way people behave around us. Or... I don't know. Just not yet.'
Jim Awkward Silence Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Michael: Mid-phone-call with Jan, Michael squints at the paper and says: 'Jan, it, um, looks like a check. A piece of paper of some sort. A receipt.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Michael: 'Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist. I'm just kidding.'
Michael Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Michael · Dwight: Michael guesses it's Martin Nash and Dwight says 'Oh, you are such a racist.' Michael: 'Wait, why am I a racist?' Dwight: 'Because you think he's black.' Michael: 'He is black, right?'
Michael: Michael's talking head: 'Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish that Josh had made a more progressive choice, like a white guy... who went to prison for polluting a black guy's lake.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael to the group about Martin: 'In our society, a black man can be arrested for almost anything. He was probably at a sporting event and saw some people pushing each other. And he intervened. Why would anyone go to jail for that?'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Angela: Angela's talking head: 'Let's protect the convicts at the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.'
Angela Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Andy · Jim: Andy approaches Jim and opens with: 'Jim Halpert. I am so horny.'
Andy Jim Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Jim · Andy: Jim: 'Okay, I can't help you with that.' Andy: 'Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna.'
Jim Andy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Andy: Andy describes Kelly: 'Tell me about that Indian chick Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.'
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Jim · Andy: Jim on Kelly: 'She is dating Ryan, I think.' Andy: 'Oh, and I care why?' Jim: 'She's high maintenance.' Andy: 'Next.'
Jim Andy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jim · Andy: Jim suggests the camera operator's girlfriend: audience sees Jim gesture toward the camera; Andy says 'Blondes are more fun. Come on, trust me on that.' Jim: 'That would be fun for no one.'
Jim Andy Meta/Self-Referential Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Jim · Andy: Andy asks about Pam; Jim's camera look, then: 'Absolutely you should.' Jim is clearly sending Andy into disaster.
Jim Andy Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim · Dwight · Andy: Jim tells Andy Martin was in prison; Andy's reaction shot — a beat of silence followed by 'No, Dwight. Be cool, be cool.'
Jim · Andy: Jim's advice to Andy on Pam: 'She loves pranks.' / 'Frisbee-based competitions. Are you kidding? I started the main Frisbee golf club at Cornell where I went to college. I live to frolf.'
Jim Andy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jim: Jim's reaction beat — implied camera look — as Dwight delivers the 'halfsie' confessional
Andy: Jim: 'Are you kidding? I started the main Frisbee golf club at Cornell where I went to college. I live to frolf.'
Andy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Jim: Jim's advice list continues: 'She loves hunting... she also loves those ads for Six Flags with the old guy.'
Jim Character Comedy Absurdist Michael · Martin: Michael grabs Martin mid-scene to make a public announcement defending him: 'I just want to declare publicly that I trust him completely. And that anybody who doesn't is an ignorant, dumb person, okay?'
Michael · Pam: Michael: 'You show me a white man you trust, and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam, tell me a white person you trust.' Pam: 'My dad.' Michael: 'Danny Glover.'
Various Office Workers · Michael: The list continues — Jonas Salk, Justin Timberlake, Colin Powell, then 'Jesus' followed immediately by 'Apollo Creed.'
Michael: Michael's 'close your eyes' exercise: 'Picture a convict... baseball cap on backward, baggy pants. He says something ordinary like, Yo, that's shizzle... Who were you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Martin · Michael: Martin explains he was jailed for insider trading. Michael: 'Oh! That is awesome.'
Michael: Michael's talking head: 'I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day.'
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Martin · Various Office Workers: Martin casually notes prison: 'Not terrible. Boring... at least we'd get outdoors time.' / 'Two hours every day. Sometimes we'd play pickup football games.'
Various Office Workers: Office workers' responses: 'Michael, why don't we get outdoors time?' 'Yeah, some days I never go outside.'
Martin: Martin: 'My cell was... a little bit bigger than Michael's office. But I really only slept there. During the day our time was our own. They had classes. I took some watercolor classes.'
Martin Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Martin · Michael: Martin: 'They had business classes there... taught by some Harvard Business School guys. A lot of the guys in the class... the inmates... a lot of them have gone on to do extraordinary things in business.' Michael: 'Terrible things.'
Various Office Workers · Michael: 'Kind of sounds like prison's better than Dunder Mifflin.' 'I would so rather be in prison.' 'Prison sounds great.' Michael: 'No, you would not. This place is not prison. It's way better than prison.'
Michael: Michael approaches Hannah's baby and tries to give it paperclips: 'You like that? Goo goo goo goo?' / 'It's okay. I've got tons of 'em.'
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Andy · Pam: Andy's approach to Pam: 'Listen, you're cute. There's no getting around it. So I don't know if I like country music, but I was thinking maybe one of these days we could drive out to the fields, crank up some tunes. Smoke a few Macanudos. Maybe even toss a disc around.'
Andy Pam Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Callback Pam: Pam's reaction talking head — two separate 'Wow.' pauses with uncomfortable silence.
Pam Reaction Beat Awkward Silence Callback Michael: Michael: 'You guys said that prison was better than this place... so I am instituting some changes to make this more like prison. We are going to start with an hour of outdoor time.'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Dwight · Various Office Workers: Employees stand outside freezing. Dwight has a tiny dumbbell: 'What is that, like, five pounds?' / 'It's two and a half. I'm not going for bulk. I'm going for tone.'
Michael · Martin: Michael to Martin: 'Oh, hey, Martin! You have TV in the joint? Got a ten-inch black and white?' Martin: 'Actually, our TV was bigger than that one.'
Michael: Michael's talking head: 'These people do realize how lucky they are. This office is the American Dream. And they would rather be in the hole.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jim · Karen: Jim tells Karen he's messing with Andy, sending him to women in the office 'with just terrible information on how to get them to go out with him.' Karen: 'I love it. I want in.'
Jim Karen Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Jim: Jim: 'I feel like I already sicced him on Pam... let's give her a break.'
Jim Character Comedy Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael introduces 'Prison Mike' — putting on a do-rag: 'I am Prison Mike. You know why they call me Prison Mike?'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight · Michael: Dwight: 'Do you really expect us to believe you're somebody else?' Prison Mike/Michael: 'Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, beeyotch?'
Michael: Prison Mike: 'In prison, you are somebody's bitch. Oh, and you — you, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop the soap. Don't drop the soap.'
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael · Various Office Workers: Employee asks: 'Michael, where did you learn all of this?' Prison Mike: 'Internet.' Employee: 'So not prison.' Prison Mike: 'And prison. It's 50/50. Both.'
Michael: Employee: 'What did you do, Prison Mike?' Prison Mike: 'I stole. And I robbed. And I kidnapped the President's son and held him for ransom.'
Michael Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Michael: Employee: 'Prison Mike, what was the food like in prison?' Prison Mike: 'Gruel sandwiches. Gruel omelets. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.'
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Prison Mike's closing speech: 'This place is freaking awesome. The people are awesome. Your boss is nice. Everybody seems to get along... Nobody's nobody's bitch... you got a good life! You got a good life. A good life.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Martin: Martin's response after Prison Mike: 'There were certain elements of what you performed I've seen on television, but it didn't remind me of my time in prison.'
Martin Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Callback Michael · Various Office Workers: Michael locks employees in the conference room: 'If you think prison is so wonderful, then enjoy prison.' Employees: 'Are we locked in here?' Michael: 'They are such babies.'
Toby · Pam: Toby calls Pam from inside the conference room: 'Hey, Pam. Where are you calling from?' establishing Toby is also locked in the conference room.
Toby Pam Character Comedy Reaction Beat Michael · Toby: Toby tells Michael he needs to let the employees out. Michael: 'You know what, Toby? I am teaching them a lesson, so...'
Toby · Michael: Toby tries to reason with Michael; Michael talks over him and then Toby says: 'You know they're teasing you.' Michael slowly realizes: 'They're teasing you. To be funny.'
Michael: Michael releases everyone: 'Okay, nutcases, get out of there. Good work. Long day. Really long. Why don't you guys head home early? Time off for good behavior!'
Michael Character Comedy Running Gag Callback Michael: Michael's closing talking head: 'Martin went from being a new guy from Stamford... to a convict, to my friend, back to a convict, then to kind of a nuisance, actually, if we can be completely honest. And finally to a quitter. And I will not miss him. And that is not because he is black.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Michael's final talking head about Martin: 'Martin went from being a new guy from Stamford to a convict, to my friend, back to a convict, then to kind of a nuisance, actually, if we can be completely honest. And finally to a quitter. And I will not miss him. And that is not because he is black.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Office
