Pam Beesly

Pam · Michael · Jan:Pam reveals to Jan that the fax went into the wastepaper basket — Michael's 'special filing cabinet for corporate documents.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I don't think it's many little girls' dreams to be a receptionist.'

Pam:Pam mutters 'Don't we all?' under her breath about the raise, then immediately pretends she said nothing.

Pam:Cut to Pam's talking head: 'Jim said mixed berries?' — she knows exactly which yogurt he meant.

Pam:Pam's reaction to Jim's yogurt line: 'Jim said mixed berries?' — then catching herself: 'Oh, well, yeah, he's on to me.'

Roy · Pam:Roy to Pam: 'It's only 20 past 5:00,' dismissing her request to go for drinks with coworkers.

Michael · Ryan · Pam:Michael's fake firing setup: 'As you know, there's going to be downsizing. And you have made my life so much easier in that I am going to have to let you go first.'

Pam · Michael:Pam: 'You're a jerk!' Michael: 'Ah, I don't know about that.'

Jim · Pam · Roy:Jim and Pam's parking lot goodbye: 'What's in the bag?' revisited — Pam leaves with Roy, Jim watches.

Michael · Pam:Michael to the group: 'OK, do me. Something stereotypical so I can get it really quick.' Pam gives her clue: 'I like your food.' Michael: 'Uh, Outback Steakhouse, I'm Australian, mate!'

Pam · Michael:Pam: 'OK, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with — you would maybe not be a very good driver.' Michael: 'Aw man, am I a woman?'

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'Messages, date, lots to do lots to do... Information superhighway!' — performing busyness theatrically to Pam who is visibly unimpressed.

Pam:Pam reads off the gutted health plan in a flat monotone: 'There's no dental, there's no vision, there is a 1200 dollar deductible.'

Michael · Pam:Michael calls Pam from his office — 'Pam, Michael Scott, how's tricks? Where are you?' Pam: 'Oh, I'm in my office, I am swamped.'

Michael · Pam:Pam tells Michael people are upset; Michael immediately pretends to get another call to escape the conversation: 'Pam, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I, I, I got to go I'm getting a call.' Pam: 'No you're not.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight to Pam entering his workspace: 'Uh, knock, please. Please knock, this is an office.' / 'If it's the same thing, then why'd you write workspace?'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight on cutting healthcare: 'Times are tough, Pam, deal with it.' Pam: 'You cut more than you had to, didn't you?' Dwight: 'Sure.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight: 'Don't need it, never been sick, perfect immune system.' Pam: 'Ok well if you've never been sick, then you don't have any antibodies.' Dwight: 'I don't need them, superior genes. I'm a Schrute.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight: 'Through concentration I can raise—' Pam: 'Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?' Dwight: 'So I can lower it.'

Jim · Pam · Michael:The Pam/Jim call while Michael screams in the background: both of them having a cheerful normal conversation about the weekend and shoe shopping while Michael is audible and frantic.

Pam:Final line after Michael's improv performance: 'Jan wants you to call her.'

Michael · Pam:Michael asks for a drum roll for the birthday person reveal — Pam says there are no upcoming birthdays

Michael · Pam:Michael decides to throw Meredith's birthday party a month early — 'It will be a surprise!'

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam to 'shake it up, shake it in' while she tries to plan the party — dead enthusiasm from everyone

Michael · Pam:Michael does a Star Trek bit with Pam: 'Spock, any signs of life down there?' / 'No captain, just a wet blanket named Pam'

Dwight · Jim · Pam:Dwight insists the alliance must be 'totally a secret' — immediately followed by Jim telling Pam about it

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'An alliance? What does that even mean? I think it has something to do with Survivor, but I'm not sure. I know it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, Pam.'

Pam · Jim:Pam's fake-concerned confessional to Jim about overhearing sensitive corporate conversations — she's entirely making it up

Pam · Dwight:Pam approaches the box in the warehouse and delivers disinformation to Dwight through the cardboard

Jim · Pam:Jim reveals to Pam: he's convinced Dwight he needs to go to Stanford (Connecticut) to spy on the other branch, AND dye his hair to go undercover

Roy · Jim · Pam:Roy overhears Jim trying to explain the alliance prank to Pam and confronts them: 'What the hell is this? Are you trying to cop a feel or something Halpert?'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam trying to explain the alliance to Roy: 'Dwight asked me to be in an alliance... and we've just been messing with him... It's just office pranks. It's stupid, it's just office pranks.'

Pam:Pam's talking-head: 'Maybe I should sleep with him. I'm kidding. Kidding. Totally kidding.'

Pam:Cut to Pam on the phone arguing a warranty claim on her toaster oven

Pam · Michael:Pam to Michael as he practices shots: 'Please don't throw garbage at me.' — Michael: 'Oh, Pam with a zinger!'

Michael · Pam:Michael asks Pam to be cheerleader with 'pigtails, little halter top... tie that up... something a little youthful, for a change, just this once.'

Jim · Pam:Jim's conversation with Pam: He offers to take her to the outlet mall on Saturday 'if Roy has to work, which he will, because I'm also competitive' — then: 'I think I'll see you at the mall.' 'Yeah.'

Jim · Pam:Pam: 'Um, I think I'm gonna be up at the lake.' Jim: 'I think I'll see you at the mall.' / 'Yeah.'

Michael · Roy · Pam:Michael to Pam for the jump ball: 'Pam, you kind of have your foot in both camps here. Why don't you do the jump ball?' — Roy: 'Don't listen to him, Pam. Tip it my way or you're sleeping in the car.'

Roy · Pam:Roy's talking-head where Pam sees Roy talking to someone ('looks good'); Roy notices her watching and says 'Hey baby' — then someone comments: 'Look at Larry Bird. Larry legend.'

Michael · Pam:Michael interrupts Pam mid-sentence with a stream of fast-food order: 'Pam! Hey, there's... Burger with cheese! There's a person here... And fries! There's... And shake!'

Michael · Katy · Pam:Michael to Katy: 'You are, uh, you're like the new and improved Pam. Pam 6.0.'

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'Oh, hey, no cat fights, you two. I'm against violence in the workplace.' Pam/other: 'So am I.' Michael: 'Nobody cares what you think.'

Kevin · Pam:Kevin asks Pam: 'So are you jealous 'cause there's another girl around?' Pam: 'No.' Kevin: 'She's prettier than you, though.'

Pam · Kevin:Pam's reaction to Kevin's 'She's prettier than you' — a long beat before she says 'That's a very rude thing to say, Kevin.' with visible effort to stay composed

Pam:Pam's talking-head about Katy: 'It's nice having Katy around. It's another person for Michael to, um... interact with.' — long pause before 'interact'

Roy · Jim · Pam:Roy: 'Man, I would be all over that if I wasn't dating Pam.' Jim, Pam (off screen): 'We're not dating, we're engaged.' Roy: 'Engaged, yeah.'

Michael · Pam:Michael to Pam: 'Giggle, giggle, shooshy, shooshy. I get it, I get it. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood over here. Right?'

Michael · Pam:Michael catches Pam having already eaten lunch before her 'lunch break': 'So, uh, Pam, is this your lunch break or was that earlier, when you were eating in the kitchen with those guys?' Then: 'Busted.'

Michael · Pam:Michael asks Pam: 'Um, how do girls your age feel about futons?' Camera cut to Pam: 'A futon?' Michael: 'He's a grown man.' Pam: 'That's what he said.' Pam: 'That's sad.' Michael: 'Or it's innovative.'

Roy · Pam:Roy tickles and pesters Pam who's trying to stay mad at him: 'Come on. Cut it out... Are you still mad at me now? Stop! Huh? Huh? Come on. Come on, Pammy.'

Jim · Pam:Pam tells Jim she and Roy are going to 'help Roy's cousin move. Because Roy's got a truck.' Jim: 'That's cool.' Pam: 'Uh-huh.' Jim: 'Yes.' Pam: 'That is cool.' Extended beat of mutual awkwardness.

Dwight · Pam · Kelly:Dwight confronts the women about what's written on the bathroom wall. He demands to know who wrote it. When someone mentions 'Dave Barry,' Dwight takes it seriously as a suspect.

Pam:After Dwight's 'punished less' offer, someone responds: 'Ok, now I'm laughing at you!'

Dwight · Pam · office women:The women accuse Dwight of being a pervert for being in the ladies' room; Dwight protests he was investigating the bathroom wall graffiti.

Michael · Pam:Immediately after the Dwight/ladies' room chaos, Michael cuts to: 'The Dundee award for longest engagement goes to Pam Beesly!'

Pam:Pam stays at the Dundies because she 'has to eat somewhere,' then adds she'll get a ride home from Angela.

Michael · Pam:Pam's 'Whitest Sneakers' award — Michael: 'because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on!'

Pam:Pam: 'First off, my Keds, because I couldn't have done it without them, thank you.'

Pam:Pam: 'Let's give Michael a round of applause for MC-ing tonight because this is a lot harder than it looks, and also because of Dwight too.'

Jim · Pam:Jim helps drunk Pam to her car. Pam says 'I just wanted to say thanks.' Jim: 'That's not really a question.'

Pam:Pam's defeated 'Thanks, Kevin.' after the 'Mmmmilf' comment

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'Usually the day we talk about sexual harassment is the day that everyone harasses me as a joke.'

Michael · Pam:Michael's solution: 'Well, then, let's act it out. Pam, you will be girl A. And girl B will be... Okay, we'll use the doll.'

Pam:Pam's silent camera look after being assigned 'Girl A' in Michael's lesbian reenactment

Pam:Pam: 'Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so...'

Pam's Mom · Pam:Pam's mom: 'So which one is Jim?' / Pam: 'Mom!' / Mom: 'I just wanted to know.'

Pam:Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. I think today it was the expense reports that did him in. And our deal is, that it's up to me to revive him.

Jim · Pam:You have what is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies, and I'm blanking on the name... could you help me out Pam? / Jim, they refer to it as Flonkerton — in English, 'box of papers snowshoe racing.'

Pam:The thing about Jim is, when he's excited about something like the Office Olympics, he gets really into it and does a really great job. But the problem with Jim is that he works here, so that hardly ever happens.

Angela · Pam:I call it Pam-Pong. I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you. / We're friends. / Apparently.

Jim · Pam:I made something for a closing ceremony. / What? Oh my god! / When did you have time to make that? / Automatic voice-mail.

Jim · Pam · Michael:These are the closing ceremonies, step up! / Here on the top one. / Congratulations to Michael, because he closed on his condo — gold medal!

Pam · Jim · Dwight:And for Dwight Schrute, the silver medal. / Get on up here Dwight! / Silver medal. / Yep, but not as good as gold!

Dwight · Pam:Why are you playing the national hymn? / Because your condo is in America.

Dwight · Pam:What the hell is that? / Those are the doves.

Pam:Pam's increasingly rambling, self-conscious description of Jim and Katy's relationship in a talking head, ending with 'I'm sorry, I feel like I'm talking really loud. Am I talking really loud?'

Jim · Pam:Jim flatly suggests Katy could just call his extension, Pam replies 'Okay' — a loaded non-answer that speaks volumes

Jim · Pam:Jim's desert island movies: 'Fargo, Edward Scissorhands, Dazed and Confused... Breakfast Club... The Princess Bride.' Then: 'Yes, in my top three, so suck it.'

Pam · Michael:Pam's visible discomfort when Michael calls on her first for 'Who would you do?' — and her flustered attempt to have him explain the rules before answering

Pam · Michael:Pam: 'What if he dies in the fire, and that's the last thing you ever said to him?' Michael: 'I didn't say it to him. I said it about him.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'Jim? Definitely Jim. Definitely, definitely Jim.'

Pam:Pam's public 'Who would you do?' answer: 'Oscar's kind of cute... Ooh, Toby.' — conspicuously not Jim

Dwight · Jim · Pam · Michael:The office collectively piles on Ryan: 'Toaster Oven 101. You failed?' / 'I'm so sorry.' / 'Hey, I know what'll impress everybody. I'll start a fire.' / 'Bad idea jeans.'

Pam:Pam's talking head about Katy: 'I forgot what a super-nice girl Katy is. And just good for Jim. They are so cute together. And what an adorable car.'

Pam · Jim · Katy:Jim and Katy leave together while Pam watches; the group coos 'They are so cute.' Cut to Pam's face.

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam 'this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do' about firing someone

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'You're worried about the party? There's a man's life at stake here.' Pam: 'So it's a man?' Michael: 'No. Or a woman. A human life.'

Michael · Pam:Michael asks Pam who deserves to be fired based on job performance; Pam says 'I just answer the phone.' Michael: 'And sometimes you just let it go to voicemail.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam have posted Dwight's resume on Monster.com, Google, and Craigslist, specifically targeting jobs that take him out of state — 'Preferably Alaska, or India'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's Dwight resume writing: 'He's a gun nut' becomes 'He sticks to his guns'

Jim · Pam:'A dog-like obedience to authority' reframed as 'the ultimate team player'

Pam:Pam's talking-head: 'Jim is really talented. And he should be the one who's getting a better job offer. Like, for real.' Then adds: 'Don't take this the wrong way. But you should go for that job.'

Pam · Jim:Pam to Jim: 'Seriously, if you left here, I would blow my brains out.'

Jim · Pam:Jim bribes Pam to get Michael to ask Dwight to stay late: 'I'll buy you a bag of chips.' Pam: 'French onion?' Jim: 'Obviously.'

Pam · Michael:Pam asks Michael if Dwight can walk her to her car because she might have to stay late

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'Pam, I hate to break this to you, but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough.' Pam: 'He's a purple belt, that's really high.' Michael: 'Oh, God, I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous. I can murder him.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight picks up Pam and carries her around: 'Hey, put me down. Put me down!' / 'Oh my God! Hey, put me down!'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight comes to Pam to change his emergency contact from Michael Scott to 'The Hospital' with the number 911.

Pam:Pam: 'You know what, do yourself a favor. Just leave me as his contact and I will call the hospital. Cut out the middleman.'

Pam · unnamed employee:Wait, are those Michael's Levis? Yeah. Who dry-cleans jeans?

Pam:He gets in them and... I'm not exactly sure what happens, but I can tell you, he loves the way he looks in those jeans.

Pam:Okay, it was a minor league hockey game. He brought his brother. And when I went to the bathroom, the game ended, and they forgot about me.

Michael · Pam:Okay, um, a fisherman is walking down 5th Avenue leading an animal behind him. Nope! Nope, hold it. Not as good as you think.

Michael · Pam:There's a transcript between a Naval ship and a lighthouse. Yes, that is hysterical. Could you start that one from the beginning?

Jim · Pam:It is a screenplay... starring himself. Agent Michael Scarn. Of the F.B.I.

Jim · Pam:Oh, wait, stop. Drawings. What is that? Oh, those are drawings in case the writing didn't really put a picture in your head.

Michael · Pam · Christian:The proctologist brown Probe joke — 'First guy: I'm an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn. Second guy: I'm a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort. Third guy: I got you both beat. I'm a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe.'

Jim · Pam:For the bugs. / Nice. / That's excellent because bugs love... my famous grilled cheese sandwich.

Jim · Pam:Jan didn't come back for her car last night. What? Could it be that Agent Michael Scarn has finally found his Catherine Zeta?

Jim · Pam:I'm not a complainer. / Wow. For the bugs. / Pretty good date. / We didn't dance. / You're right, we didn't dance. It was more like... swaying. / Swaying isn't dancing. / But still romantic.

Pam · Jim:Why might some say that? / 'Cause there was dinner. By candlelight. / Dinner and a show if you include Michael's movie. / And there was dancing and fireworks.

Pam:Pam goes silent / I have some faxes to get out.

Pam:Pam's talking head: performance review started with Michael asking her hopes and dreams, ended with him announcing he can bench press 190 pounds

Pam · Michael:Pam's interpretation: Jan is conflicted, fighting feelings, being professional. / Why would I not like that?

Michael · Pam:Michael asks Pam if there's any chance she wrote down any of his ideas, "in a folder, like an idea folder?" — he has no ideas to present to Jan

Michael · Pam:Pam tells Michael: 'You told me to buzz you about the suggestion box meeting when Jan was here.' Michael: 'I did not, not use those words.'

Pam · Jim:Pam and Jim's talking head about Michael and Jan: "Do you think Michael and Jan actually..." / "I don't really want to picture it, but thank you, Pam." Then: "How do you come back from that?" / "You don't." / "No, I mean doing that with Michael. How do you come back from that as a human being?" / "Oh yeah. No. I don't think you can."

Jim · Pam:Jim casually asks if Roy is coming, Pam says no, Jim responds 'Oh, okay. Cool.' with a very studied casualness

Michael · Pam:Michael approaches Pam and asks if she wants to hang out tonight, she declines, he immediately says 'Yeah, I do too, I do too' — pretending he also had plans

Michael · Pam · Oscar · Kevin · Angela:Michael works through the office trying to find someone — ANYONE — to spend Friday night with: Pam (no), Oscar (on a call), Kevin (Alaska Film Festival with brother), Angela (Charity Bake Drive)

Jim · Pam · Michael:Michael wanders into Jim's bedroom during the tour and ends up at Jim's desk; Pam sits in Jim's chair

Jim · Pam:Jim sets up his home-office desk to recreate the Dunder Mifflin layout; Pam sits in Jim's chair, Jim notes that makes her 'right here' and Dwight would be 'you know what, let's just leave that image out of it. This is a happy place.'

Jim · Pam:Pam sees young Jim in yearbook: 'Oh, yeah. You were so dorky!' Jim: 'Thank you.'

Michael · Phyllis · Jim · Pam:Phyllis, when Michael asks about secret office romances: 'You tell me. Well, you do mean you and Jim, right?'

Michael · Pam · Kelly:Michael announces the karaoke song is a duet and invites Pam to sing — then invites Kelly when Pam doesn't immediately respond

Michael · Pam:Michael calls Pam up for a karaoke duet — she declines; he calls for anyone ('Takers, please') — no one volunteers

Michael · Pam:Pam steals the iPod; Michael desperately suggests she take the teapot instead: "Sure you don't want the teapot? I mean, it's an iPod." / "Right." / "Sorry."

Pam · Jim:Pam at her desk pretending to check her phone when Jim approaches; 'No. I was just checking out my present.'

Jim · Pam:Jim reveals he traded with Dwight for the teapot — Pam's reaction

Pam:Pam mentions Roy "got me an iPod or, was going to get me an iPod, so..." — the correction mid-sentence

Pam · Jim:Pam opens the teapot and discovers all the inside-joke items — yearbook photo, Boggle timer — her genuine delight

Roy · Pam:Roy ignoring Pam's request to find a quieter spot, chanting 'Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!' instead

Jim · Pam:Jim to Pam on the deck: 'So... what's it like dating a cheerleader?' — long pause, scene lingers

Pam:Pam simply says 'I'm cold.' — on the boat deck in January, having been brought here by Roy

Roy · Pam:Roy announces in front of everyone he wants to set a June 10th wedding date — inspired by Michael's 'motivational' presentation

Michael · Pam:Michael's urgent distress call opens to reveal he burned his foot on a Foreman grill

Michael · Dwight · Jim · Pam:Dwight volunteers to rescue Michael despite Michael explicitly not wanting him

Dwight · Jim · Pam:Dwight immediately crashes his car into a pole while rushing to rescue Michael

Jim · Pam:'He's still driving.' followed by 'Dwight... you forgot your bumper!'

Pam · Michael:Pam didn't mention to corporate that Michael 'cooked his foot' — and Michael corrects 'burned, Pam'

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'I just want you to treat me like you would a family member who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma.' Pam: 'Do you want some aspirin? Because you seem a little fussy.'

Jim · Pam:Jim's Russian music website joke with Pam — 'the only thing is, all the songs are in Russian'

Jim · Pam:Jim calls Pam 'Pan' as he leaves — an apparent concussion symptom

Michael · Pam:Michael asks Pam to rub butter on his foot — he has Country Crock

Dwight · Pam:Dwight demonstrates the 'indestructible' CD case to Pam by having her throw it — it breaks immediately

Jim · Pam:Jim's talking head: 'So I guess Pam and Dwight are friends now.' Cut to Pam: 'Oh God, no. Dwight isn't my friend.'

Pam:Pam's immediate follow-up talking head: 'Oh my God... Dwight's kind of my friend.'

Jim · Pam:Pam and Jim watch something off-camera — 'Hey, cut...' — implying Dwight is doing something alarming or bizarre

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'Do you think Dwight's being a little weird today?' Pam: 'No... He's actually been really nice and helpful.' Jim: 'And that isn't weird?'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael's disability awareness poster wall includes Tom Hanks — twice — from different movies

Jim · Pam:Talking head discussion about Dwight: 'The moon-faced kid who crashed into the pole. He looks like he has a concussion.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I ground up four extra strength aspirins and put them in Michael's pudding. I do the same thing for my dog to get him to take his heartworm medicine.'

Jim · Pam · Michael:Nobody wants to take Dwight to the hospital — each person tries to pass responsibility to someone else

Dwight · Pam:Dwight: 'Tired. Can't lay down. Wake up!' — Pam tells him to take a rake...

Pam · Dwight:Pam says goodbye to Dwight as if he's going off to war, 'It's gonna be different.' Dwight doesn't understand why. 'It's just hard to explain.' 'Oh, Pam, you're adorable.'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael on seeing it's a minivan: 'Oh God, a minivan. What is Meredith's problem? Well, I think she has a kid. Yeah, she has one kid and no husband. She's not going to find one driving this thing around.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam phone call: tender reconciliation, then immediately both say 'Okay, uh, yeah, no' — talking over each other and neither saying anything meaningful

Pam · Oscar:Pam goes out of her way to tell Oscar that Dwight is okay, framing it as something she 'thought he'd wanna know.' Oscar's confused 'Okay.'

Jim · Pam:Jim finds expired coupon in desk cleaning: 'Coupon for a free sandwich.' 'Score.' 'Expired in August.' 'Big day. Big day.'

Jim · Pam:Pam: 'I kind of thought maybe you did. When I first started.' Jim: 'Oh, you did? You saw through me. Great.'

Jim · Pam:Pam: 'I kind of... I thought that maybe you did. When I first started.' / Jim: 'Oh, you did?' / Pam: 'I mean, just cause we, like, got along so well.' / Jim: 'You saw through me. Great.'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'So are you gonna be, like, totally awkward around me now?' Pam: 'Oh yeah.' Jim: 'Hope that's okay.' Pam: 'Mm-hmm.'

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam that Jim had a crush on her 'on the booze cruise' — revealing the crush is much more recent than Jim led her to believe

Pam · Michael:Pam parsing Michael's vague statement: 'Jim had a crush on me on the booze cruise, or he told you about it on the booze cruise.' Michael can't answer this. He's caught.

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'What? Oh, nothing.' — mirroring Jim's opening line exactly

Pam:Pam: 'Jim's been looking at me, kind of, a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.'

Michael · Pam:Michael greets Pam with: 'Spamster!' — Pam explains: 'Pam, plus Spam, plus... Hamster. Right.'

Michael · Pam:Michael to Pam: 'Did you get lucky? Boink.'

Michael · Pam:After the raid, Michael warns Pam: 'Watch out, Pam. You're next.' Pam: 'You're gonna throw my things on the ground?' Michael: 'Maybe.'

Pam · Jim:Pam's reaction shot to Jim's voicemail: 'You just asked a girl out on the phone.' Jim: 'Yep.' [pause] 'Yes.'

Pam:Pam's voicemails to Jim on his work phone — a series of messages left while Michael sat at her desk

Pam:Pam's voicemail: 'I moved my computer so I can't see Michael's head. It's working. I think I can have a career as a very specific type of decorator.'

Pam:Pam's voicemail: 'Sudoku. Level, moderate. Time, 18 minutes. Suck on that, Halpert.'

Pam:Pam's voicemail: 'Michael was standing at my desk, and I needed to be busy or who knows what would have happened. So, thank you.'

Pam:Pam's voicemail: 'Hey, what's that word we made up for when you have a thing stuck in your shoe? Anyway, I have a thing stuck in my shoe.'

Pam:Pam's final voicemail: 'Hey, I have a chance to sneak out of here early and I'm not messing this up. So, I'll see you tomorrow. Calling from my cell phone.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's phone call — Pam says 'We watched a video about our changing bodies.' / Jim: 'Did you really?' / Pam: 'No. Oh. Almost.'

Pam · Jan:Pam's confessional about her terrace dream — 'I don't know. It was just something I read in this book when I was 12.' / Jan: 'So you're not doing it?'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'You gotta take a chance on something sometime, Pam. I mean, do you wanna be a receptionist here, always?'

Pam:Pam: 'It's impractical. I'm not gonna... try to get a house like that.' Beat. 'Um, they don't even make houses like that in Scranton. So I'm never gonna...' (trails off, clearly upset)

Pam:Final shot: Pam answering the phone as receptionist, then the documentary crew captures her making a snow angel in the parking lot

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'Like last year, Jim gave me this card with Dwight's head on it. It was horrifying and funny.'

Michael · Pam:Michael to Pam: 'Hey Pam, you heart NY, right? You want me to pick you up anything?' then immediately pivots to 'Fo'get abou' it!' and a New York accent

Pam · Dwight:Pam warns Dwight: 'You can't fire me, Dwight, just 'cause Michael's not here.' Dwight: 'No, Pam, just, um...'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight describes his girlfriend to Pam without naming her: 'She's not really the kind of person you'd think would be into Valentine's Day. She's kind of...' Pam: 'Tightly wound?'

Pam · Dwight:Pam: 'Sometimes the gift is really about the gesture... instead of what it is.' Dwight: 'You mean like a ham?'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight: 'Okay, shut up. I know exactly what to do.' — after Pam says it's about caring, not what the gift is

Roy · Pam:Pam tells Roy she'd hoped he'd get her something despite their 'no big gifts' agreement — Roy's response: 'Valentine's Day isn't over. Let's get you home, and you are gonna get the best sex of your life.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's goodbye: 'Heading out?' 'Yeah.' 'All right, Beesly.' 'Hey, happy Valentine's Day.' 'Bye.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I have a ton of stuff to do for the wedding. And I have to do it in the office. And that can be kind of awkward. I just... I don't want to offend... Angela. Or someone.'

Pam:Cut to Pam on her cell phone apologizing to her mom about not wanting orange wedding invitations, then immediately cutting to another call where she's calling a travel agent to 'get out of town' and 'go someplace not here'

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'Pam, I'm public speaking. Stop public interrupting me.'

Michael · Angela · Pam:Angela's response to Michael asking if wedding planning would be good practice for Pam's wedding toast: 'Yeah, the bride doesn't really do...' — Michael: 'Have you ever been to a wedding?'

Pam:Pam and another woman discuss the wedding venue at the VA: 'Roy has a connection. It's nicer than you think.' — 'You're inviting Jim?' — 'Of course, he's one of my closest friends.'

Ryan · Pam · Jim:Ryan casually mentions he doesn't see himself ever getting married — Pam reacts with an 'Oh.' — long uncomfortable beat — then Ryan is later told to be more sensitive because 'it's obvious she likes you'

Jim · Pam:Jim tells Pam he's leaving on June 8th. Pam says 'Oh.' Jim: 'Yeah, and I'm really sorry about that.' Long pause. Pam: 'Oh, yeah, that's too bad.' Then awkward silence.

Jim · Pam:Jim offers to take Pam's papers 'on my way out'; she says 'It's okay, I got it'; he says 'All right. Thanks. Okay.' and leaves — extended awkward non-exchange

Pam:Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.

Pam:Name's Pam. Miss Beesly, if you're nasty.

Pam · Jim:He's not coming out. He won't pick up the phone. I can't believe his mom dressed him like that. That's the real tragedy.

Pam · Jim:Why does he own a guitar if he doesn't know how to play. I think he thought his ukulele skills would transfer.

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's inventory of Kevin's gift: '69 Cup of Noodles — which we realize sounds crass, but it is his favorite number. And his favorite lunch.'

Jim · Pam:I dare you to make an announcement. / You dare me? How old are you?

Jim · Pam:Jim dares Pam to make an announcement over the store PA system. She does: 'Luke, this is your father. Come set the table for dinner.'

Jim · Pam:Pam gets on the PA again: 'Jim Halpert, price check on fabric softener.' Jim's visible embarrassment and her line 'How old are you? / I hate you.'

Jim · Pam:Jim/Pam talking head closer: 'Michael's birthday was actually pretty cool. It was a good day. I don't know. It was a good day.' — quiet, simple, repeated.

Pam · Kelly:Pam's talking-head about Jim's impressions: She tries to demonstrate his Phyllis impression and completely fails, then the confession dissolves into Kelly interrupting with a party story

Michael · Pam · Jim:Michael puts Pam in charge of finding a drug tragedy story — suggests Jim has 'an amazing story about a relative caught up in the world of drugs' — Jim who is under Jinx and cannot speak

Dwight · Pam:Dwight approaches a coworker (implied to be Pam based on context) to request clean urine — his opening: 'I need your urine.'

Pam:Pam's confessional: 'Dwight was literally carrying around his own urine and dressed like one of the Village People. Why does he do the things that he does for Michael? I just don't get it. What is he getting out of that relationship?'

Pam:No. 'Cause I'm in a band. We really rock.

Pam:I don't want anyone there who has called me a hussy.

Pam · Angela:Pam hand-delivers Angela's Save-the-Date — having not had her zip code — and Angela's talking head: 'It's not my taste.'

Michael · Pam:Pam's complaint — 'Does she have to plan her wedding on office time? Shouldn't she do that at home?' — was already withdrawn, but Michael reads it aloud anyway.

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I have this kind of big secret about Angela. And I've been really nice to her, and I haven't told anyone, and... What the hell!'

Jim · Pam:Jim asks about Roy's opinion on Pam's feelings. Pam: 'I try not to bother him about this kind of stuff.' Jim: 'You mean, like your thoughts and feelings.' Pam: 'Yeah.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's parking space non-resolution: 'I know you keep saying it's your space even though there's no assigned parking, but I keep forgetting.' 'Yes, that's the problem.' 'I guess so.' 'Okay. Well, all settled then.'

Roy · Pam:Roy is revealed to have been the one who complained about Pam planning her wedding at the office — not Angela. 'I didn't know that Toby was going to write it down.'

Jim · Pam:Jim's voicemail to Pam about a 'doctor's appointment in the city' — revealed to be a meeting with Jan about the Stamford transfer.

Jim · Pam:Jim's grandfather was buried in the tux — 'family heirloom'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam sprint back to stop Kevin losing the band: 'You're gonna lose him to another wedding. Kev!'

Kevin · Jim · Pam:Kevin discovered playing drums AND singing simultaneously in Scrantonicity — Jim and Pam's escalating disbelief ('On the drums! On the drums!')

Pam:Pam's phone confessional is interrupted by: 'Jim is great. Being with him just takes away all the stress of planning my wedding.'

Pam · Michael:Pam not putting Michael through until he's already said 'Hey Carol, how goes the real estate biz? Is it real good?' — confessional: 'I look at it as a practice run for him.'

Michael · Carol · Jan · Pam:Michael invites Carol to Casino Night mid-call, then Jan calls on line two, and Michael invites her too — double-booking two dates in real time

Jim · Pam:Jim tells Pam he's in love with her

Pam:Pam's phone call to her mom after Jim's confession: 'I don't know, Mom. He's my best friend. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I think I am [in love with him].'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's kiss: 'You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that.' 'Me too.'

Jim · Pam:'I think we're just drunk.' 'No, I'm not drunk. Are you drunk?' 'No.'

Pam · Roy:The awkward conversation between Pam and Roy in the break room: 'Chicken or fish?' 'Uh... chicken.' 'So, you, uh, having a good day?' 'Excellent. Thanks.' 'Good. I'm glad.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I have my own apartment and I'm taking art classes and I have lunch for the next five weeks.'

Pam · Dwight · Michael:Pam announces Dwight is watching gay pornography on his computer — 'Uh, Michael knows, Pam. Okay, he asked me to do this just for him.'

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam he's going to be a father — inspired by an Oprah episode about Angelina Jolie adopting a baby — and asks her to look into pricing for 'a little Chinese baby'

Michael · Pam:Michael propositions Pam: if in 10 years neither has had a baby, they'll be together. Pam refuses. 20 years. No. 30. 'Sure.'

Kelly · Pam:Kelly is ecstatic about Pam's date ('Are you so excited for tonight?') while we can infer flies are in the office — Pam's 'This' response to 'What are you wearing?' showing her plainness

Pam:Pam's confessional: 'Yes, I have a date. He's a cartoonist for the local paper. Which is really neat, because I like to draw too.'

Pam:'I'm kind of nervous. I haven't been on a first date in nine years.' — followed by: 'Probably shouldn't broadcast that.'

Kelly · Angela · Pam:Kelly advises Pam not to sleep with Allen on the first date. Angela overhears and asks 'Sleep with who?' Kelly says it's her neighbor Allen going on a date. Angela: 'Oh wow. Oh my God, I have a great idea. You know what you should do? Wear your wedding dress.'

Kelly · Pam:Kelly advises Pam not to sleep with Allen on the first date — 'it gives him all the power' — but another coworker interrupts asking 'Sleep with who?' Kelly corrects: 'Whom. Whom?'

Pam · Michael:Pam's message to Jim through Michael is just 'Um... Um... Okay, um...' Michael writes it down.

Ryan · Pam:Ryan approaches Pam's desk to ask her something, she answers the phone mid-sentence and takes a message, leaving him hanging. He forgets what he was going to say.

Jim · Pam:Jim on the phone confirms Ryan is at his old desk. 'Oh. Tell him I say hi.' Jim: 'I will call him later with that message.'

Allen · Pam:Allen showing Pam a cartoon at dinner: 'See this one is great. Because it could work on a couple different levels.' Extended silence/consideration from Pam. 'Huh.'

Pam:Pam's confessional after the date: 'I went on a date. It wasn't a love connection. Um, I think when I like someone again, I'll just kind of know.'

Pam:...with the exception of an episode of Entourage, which Michael made us watch six times.

Pam:Pam's deadpan delivery of 'Entourage.' after the six-times reveal, followed by silence.

Pam:Pam's talking head: I remember why I dress the way I do at work. But I'm gonna keep the clothes. It'll just be cool to have some after-work clothes that aren't pajamas.

Michael · Pam:Michael to Pam: 'If my head ever comes off, I would like you to put it on ice.' Pam: 'I do not want to talk about this.'

Roy · Pam · Jim:Roy interrupts the grief counseling session to tell Pam something is wrong with her car radiator — revealed to Jim as a fabrication to rescue her

Roy · Pam:Roy to Pam about her new (small) car: 'It sure is small.' Then: 'Got air bags?' Pam: 'I think so. I don't know, I was mainly focused on the cup holders.'

Michael · Pam:Michael waited the entire grief session for Pam to return from her car errand: 'Pam, you're a member of this family. So we will wait for our family members.'

Michael · Stanley · Pam:Michael trying to force Stanley to participate in the grief ball; Michael theatrically tosses the ball to Pam instead after Stanley refuses

Pam:Pam's fake grief story: her 'aunt,' a 'female boxer,' was paralyzed in a fight and asked her manager to remove her breathing tube — this is Million Dollar Baby

Pam · Michael:Michael asks if someone will play a song at the funeral; the person (Pam?) reveals she plays recorder. Michael: 'Do you have it with you?' Person: 'Always.'

Pam:Pam plays a recorder at the bird's funeral — the sound of a recorder played by an adult at a parking lot bird funeral

Pam:Pam confessional: 'Jan used to treat Michael like he was a ten-year-old. But lately it's like he's five.'

Michael · Pam:Michael attempts to skip the pretzel line using Pam's waiting and his own trip to the bathroom: 'I thought that maybe you could wait in line for me while I go to the bathroom?'

Pam · Jim:Pam's brief, loaded phone call: 'Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Oh, hi, Jim. He's on a sales call. No message? Bye, Jim.'

Jim · Pam:Jim calls and immediately says 'I forgot Kevin's extension. It's a fantasy football thing.' — a transparent excuse

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam talk past each other both trying to speak, creating a cascade of 'Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.' 'No, I...' — and then Pam fills the void with 'Everything's pretty much the same here. Oh, good. A little different.'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'What time is it there?' Pam: 'What time is it here?' Jim: 'We're in the same time zone.' Pam: 'Yeah, right.'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'I type 90.' Pam: 'Shut up.' Jim: 'Mavis Beacon doesn't even type 90.'

Jim · Pam:Jim's typing reveal: Pam guesses 70, Jim says 'Forget it' and then 'Sixty-five' — Pam laughs, Jim: 'Okay, no need to laugh. Respectable? Respectable?'

Jim · Pam:Pam: 'Would I make that up?' Jim: 'Yes.' Pam: 'Fancy new Beesly would make that up. New apartment, new stories...'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'You got totally taken for a ride, Beesly.' Then: 'Most apartments these days have like three kitchens.' Pam: 'Three kitchens?' Jim: 'Yes.' Pam: 'How are you gonna cook every meal of the day in one kitchen?'

Jim · Pam · Ryan:Ryan walks in and interrupts Jim and Pam's call; they scramble to end the conversation with multiple awkward false starts: 'Okay, bye!' 'Oh, yeah, I should probably go, too...' 'Oh, no, I was...' 'I don't know what...' 'Do you have to go?' 'Yeah... No, I should probably go, too.'

Jim · Pam · Ryan:Ryan walks in on Pam's phone call; Pam hastily ends the conversation: 'Hey, Ryan, are you okay? Pam? Yeah. Yeah. Pam? Okay, bye!' followed by mutual confused trying to hang up

Jim · Pam:The goodbye sequence: 'Okay.' / 'I mean...' / 'Yeah.' — neither Jim nor Pam can actually end the call

Jim · Pam:'Bye, Pam.' 'Bye, Jim.' — the final exchange, delivered after the extended false-start sequence

Pam · Kevin:Pam says she doesn't have anyone to go with; Kevin suggests she go with Dwight because 'He's single too, right?' / 'Yeah, totally single. Hundred percent available.'

Michael · Dwight · Pam:About the blue deity statue: 'And that blue, busty gal, what's her story? She looks like Pam from the neck down.' / Dwight: 'Pam wishes.'

Pam:Pam shows up to Diwali: 'I feel a little underdressed, but at least I'm not dressed like a slutty cheerleader, right? Is that mean?'

Pam · Roy:Pam and Roy have a tense exchange at the party: she invites him to dance, he declines to watch the shoes, asks who she was texting. She says 'No one.' Phone buzzes immediately.

Michael · Pam:Michael approaches Pam after being rejected: 'Pam, when Carole said No tonight, I think I finally realized how you must be feeling. We're both the victims of broken engagements.' / Pam: 'Well, you were never really engaged.' / Michael: 'I was in that marriage arena, though.'

Michael · Pam:Michael attempts to kiss Pam; Pam rejects him: 'I'm rejecting your kiss.' / Michael: 'I... What? I didn't...'

Pam · Michael:Michael asks Pam for a ride home; Pam: 'If you sit in the back.'

Michael · Pam:Michael starts to compare his car ride to 'Taxicab Confessions'; Pam: 'If you say one more word, I'm stopping the car.'

Michael · Pam:Michael says to Pam 'What difference does it make? We'll all be gone in a few weeks anyway' — then immediately realizes he's revealed the secret.

Pam:Pam's talking-head: 'It's a blessing in disguise. Actually, not even in disguise.'

Pam:Pam describes her fantasy of slapping someone, making a big speech, and storming out forever — then says 'But this is good, too.'

Pam · Kelly:Pam signs Kelly's company directory and writes: 'Kelly. Best wishes. Love, Pam. P.S. What a long, strange trip it's been.'

Pam · Jim:Pam reveals to the camera that she's already been attending art school — 'I started a while ago' — after Jim expresses excitement as if it's a new idea.

Jim · Pam:Jim tells Pam he's glad she's 'still gonna be working here' because 'it'd be a pain to have to find another job.' Pam agrees 'yeah, totally.'

Pam:Pam's confessional: 'Finding another job is a pain. There's another annoying boss, another desk. I'd have to learn everything all over again. So, there are reasons to stay.'

Jim · Pam:Jim pretending to be new: 'Hi, I'm Jim. I'm new here.' Pam: 'Oh my god! It's really you!' Jim: 'I was just doing a little joke there about how we had never met...' Pam: 'I know, I don't care!'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam: Jim mentions he's 'evolving' away from grape soda to bottled water; Pam: 'Oh, you've changed so much.'

Michael · Pam:Michael on the Tony situation: 'Maybe that's because some people treated like their own private Hooter's strip club.' Pam: 'Hooter's is a restaurant. With over 400 locations worldwide.'

Karen · Pam:New employee (presumably Karen or Martin) observing Michael's Vance Refrigeration meltdown: 'Is he always like this?' / Pam: 'Sometimes he brings more costumes.' / 'When do people work?' / 'Oh, we find little times during the day.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's awkward final conversation — Pam tells Jim she's 'started seeing someone'; Jim says 'Oh, that's totally cool. You can do whatever you want.' Both claim everything is fine through obvious discomfort.

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'You show me a white man you trust, and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam, tell me a white person you trust.' Pam: 'My dad.' Michael: 'Danny Glover.'

Andy · Pam:Andy's approach to Pam: 'Listen, you're cute. There's no getting around it. So I don't know if I like country music, but I was thinking maybe one of these days we could drive out to the fields, crank up some tunes. Smoke a few Macanudos. Maybe even toss a disc around.'

Andy · Pam:Andy speaks pig Latin to Pam: 'Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?' Pam is silent. Andy: 'Think about it. I'll hit you back.'

Pam:Pam's reaction talking head — two separate 'Wow.' pauses with uncomfortable silence.

Toby · Pam:Toby calls Pam from inside the conference room: 'Hey, Pam. Where are you calling from?' establishing Toby is also locked in the conference room.

Pam · Dwight:I would like it off my desk. / Oh, Pam. Take a chill pill.

Michael · Pam:Michael tries to donate his clearly used, paint-chipping, worn-tire old bike to the toy drive

Michael · Pam:That is so sweet, you didn't have to do that. / I didn't. It's from corporate.

Pam · Creed:Oh, I think you're supposed to put a toy in the box, Creed. / And a happy holiday to you.

Pam · Jim:Pam reveals she's been sending Dwight letters from the CIA

Jim · Pam:Jim declines to continue the prank because of his promotion — 'I really don't think I should be doing this stuff anymore.'

Michael · Pam:Michael to Pam: 'Pam, would you like to go to Sandals, Jamaica with me?' Pam: 'No, thank you.' Michael: 'It's all... okay.'

Pam:Pam's talking head admitting she's been cold to Karen for no real reason

Angela · Karen · Pam:The 'Committee to Plan Parties' flyer vs. Angela's Party Planning Committee — 'There's no such thing as the Committee to Plan Parties. There is now.'

Pam · Karen · Angela · Dwight:Karen and Pam's 'Committee to Plan Parties' rival flyer: $200 funding. Angela: 'What's ours again?' Dwight: '$201.'

Karen · Pam:There's a party that starts at 3:00. / Right. / And then there's a way more fun party that starts at 2:45.

Kevin · Pam:Are you sure I can't use, like, the cartoons from the newspaper? / Oh, yeah, your mom would love that.

Pam · Karen:Are we taking this too far? / I don't think we're taking this far enough. / What? / I got goose bumps.

Michael · Pam:Michael demands Pam ask him how Jamaica was; when she dutifully complies, he launches into an enthusiastic 'It was so good! Hey, mon!'

Michael · Pam:Michael observes Jamaicans 'just relax, they party all the time' and Pam quietly notes 'It's kind of an impoverished country.' Michael responds: 'Yeah. Gosh. Great.'

Michael · Angela · Pam:Angela says 'By the end of the day? That's impossible.' Michael responds: 'The Jamaicans don't have a word for impossible.' Pam: 'Yep, it's English. It's "impossible".'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's break room scene — Jim admits he's in a 'stupid fight with Karen'; Pam's visible reaction beat before offering to talk

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam discuss Karen's apartment situation while intercut — Jim says 'Same street, I think that might be a little close'; Pam is visibly processing the irony given her own history with Jim

Pam:Pam's confessional: 'No, I didn't mind helping Jim with his problem. That's what friends do. I help Phyllis all the time. Just yesterday, I untangled a piece of tape from her hair. So, yeah.'

Oscar · Pam:Oscar returns Pam's favor ('Oh, don't worry about it') and says it's better than listening to Michael play a conch shell

Oscar · Pam:Oscar and Pam: 'Also, Michael went to Jamaica with Jan... How have we not talked about this already? I mean, what happened there? Kidnapping?'

Michael · Pam:Pam finds Michael outside sitting on the loading dock, playing or humming 'Feelin' Hot Hot Hot' alone

Karen · Pam:Karen thanks Pam for 'talking sense into Halpert' about the apartment; mentions 'the Days Inn Room 228 was starting to get really depressing'

Pam:Pam's reaction as Karen walks away — presumably a camera look or a complicated expression knowing she didn't actually help Karen

Michael · Pam:Harvey says 'Pam, you look very hot today' after Michael calls Pam in.

Michael · Pam · Jim:Harvey says 'Me so horny. Me love you long tim.' to Pam.

Michael · Pam:Michael discovers his desk toys have not been arranged nicely; learns it was Dwight all along who arranged them

Jim · Pam:Jim to Pam: 'I'm the victim, okay? He's fishing for me.'

Andy · Jim · Pam:Andy realizes his cell phone is missing and searches desperately while Jim and Pam play innocent

Dwight · Jim · Pam:Dwight crashes through ceiling tiles pursuing his phone — 'That's half-inch drywall. I think we broke his brain.'

Dwight · Pam:Number eight, learn how to take off a woman's bra. We will demonstrate on Pam.

Pam:Something's up with Jim and Karen. Not that I've been eavesdropping. It's not really any of my business. But I've gotten pretty good at reading the back of Jim's neck.

Jim · Pam:The Jim-Pam sleep advice scene — Pam gives Jim banal advice about getting more sleep while both are clearly uncomfortable discussing his relationship problems

Karen · Pam:Karen confronts Pam: Jim told her about the kiss. / But you're not still interested in him? / Oh, yeah. / Really? / Oh, no! I was confused by your phrasing.

Pam · Karen:You should definitely go out with Jim. I mean, you're going out with Jim. I'm not going out with Jim. / You're dating him, which is awesome, because you guys are great together.

Karen · Pam:What are you sorry about? / Nothing. I was just thinking of something else.

Elizabeth · Pam:I love your poster. / Thank you.

Elizabeth · Pam:I love your poster. Thank you.

Ben Franklin (actor) · Pam:You know, I invented electricity. / I know. / Well, I'm sensing a little electricity right here.

Pam · Ben Franklin (actor):Didn't Ben Franklin have syphilis? / Yes, but I don't. My name is Gordon.

Pam:God, I need a boyfriend.

Pam · Ryan:You know, Ryan, I'm totally ready to be set up with one of your business school friends. Whenever. / RYAN: Okay.

Elizabeth · Pam:Oh, my God, I would get so fat if I worked here. / Yeah? I lose my appetite all the time.

Elizabeth · Pam:You could strip, you know. / Thanks.

Pam:Pam confessional: Phyllis used the exact same wedding invitations as Pam and Roy, 'So it was kind of like being invited to my own wedding. And I was like, wait... I thought I called that off.'

Kelly · Pam:Kelly to Pam: 'This must be so awful for you... Well, this was supposed to be your wedding.' Then Kelly's advice: 'If I was you I would just, like, freak out and get really drunk and then tell someone I was pregnant.'

Pam:Pam's response to Kelly's advice: 'Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.'

Jim · Pam:Jim to Pam about the wedding: 'I know I don't normally notice these kind of things, but, uh... this wedding's really nice. I mean, the flowers and stuff.'

Roy · Pam:Roy to Pam: 'I know you probably aren't gonna remember this, but, uh, those color roses... I got you those color roses for our prom.' Pam: 'Roy, I picked those flowers. Phyllis just stole all of my ideas for our wedding.'

Roy · Pam:Roy confessional: 'I guess I wasn't really too involved in the planning.' Pause. 'Yeah.' / 'Sorry about that.' Pam: 'It's okay.' Roy: 'Well, you think it sucks for you. I'm the one who actually wanted to get married.'

Jim · Pam:Jim to Pam: 'When are we gonna get to see some of those famous Beesly dance moves?' Pam: 'I'm such a dorky dancer.' Jim: 'I know! And it's very cute.'

Jim · Pam:Jim asks Pam to dance at the wedding by simply saying: 'You wanna dance?' — followed by a long beat and then them dancing

Jim · Pam:Jim to Pam after the dance: 'Hey, you want to get out of here?' — with Karen watching from nearby

Pam:Pam's talking head about getting back with Roy: 'I'm really happy to be back with Roy. I think it shows maturity. Maturity and dignity. Is that braggy? I don't mean it to be braggy.'

Pam · Angela:Angela invites Pam to her art show, downplays it ('It's not a big deal'), then immediately says 'a lot of people from the office are gonna be there' — but the show later reveals almost nobody comes

Toby · Pam:Toby says he'd love to attend Pam's art show but his daughter has a play; then immediately pivots to: 'You know, one of the other parents will probably videotape it.'

Roy · Pam · Kenny:Roy shows up to Pam's art show with his brother Kenny — the only guests — and Roy says 'How about this, huh? I show up with my brother, and no one from work is here? That's pretty cool, huh?' while Pam is visibly alone

Jim · Pam:Jim tries to leave: 'It's cool if I go, right? I mean, I looked at all of them.' Then about Pam's art: 'Your art was the prettiest art of all the art.'

Roy · Pam:Roy drags Pam to the art show; when he sees it he says 'You're the one who said we needed more culture. This is culture to you?'

Michael · Pam:Michael arrives at Pam's art show late, calls her 'Pam-casso'

Michael · Pam:Michael wants to buy Pam's painting — points to the Dunder-Mifflin building and his car: 'There's my window. And there's my car! Is that your car?'

Michael · Pam:Michael has a Chunky bar in his pocket — pulls it out when Pam reaches for a hug, offers her half

Pam:Another worm, like, are they friends?

Michael · Pam · Dwight:Pam, would you smell my breath? No. No. DWIGHT: Let me smell. Good. Not great.

Pam:Hey, you have to come to stuff with me. I'm serious. If you're going to be my boyfriend, you have to do boyfriend things.

Pam:I've decided that I'm going to be more honest. I'm gonna start telling people what I want directly. So look out world, 'cause old Pammy is getting what she wants. And don't call me Pammy.

Pam · Roy:Pam tells Roy about the Jim kiss at Casino Night. Roy's reaction: 'Jim came on to you? Just listen. No, I am listening! That's the problem, I'm listening!'

Pam · Roy:I want us to make it. I want a fresh start. That's awesome. That's what I want. Okay, but in order for us to make it, there can't be any secrets between us. / I didn't... I didn't do anything. Ask anybody. I totally could have and I didn't at all.

Roy · Jim · Dwight · Pam:Roy charges at Jim in the office and Dwight pepper sprays him — the sound and chaos inferred from 'Roy! Ahh! Roy, don't! God!'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'It sucked.' — one word summary of the attack

Pam · Michael · Darryl:Pam confirms the suit is women's clothing; the label is revealed: 'MISSterious.' Michael: 'And it is mysterious, because the buttons are on the wrong side. That's the mystery.'

Darryl · Pam · Michael:The group catalogs the suit's features: shoulder pads, fancy lining, no pockets. Michael: 'No, they don't. See?' — showing the empty pant legs

Jim · Pam:Jim to Pam: 'Sorry I almost got you killed.' Pam: 'Yeah. That was nuts.'

Pam · Andy:Pam greets Andy as 'Andy'; he corrects her with 'Drew'; she apologizes; he says 'Apology not accepted... because it wasn't even necessary in the first place.'

Jim · Pam · Kevin · Angela · Ryan · Oscar:The office workers betting on how many jellybeans (or similar objects) are in a jar; escalating guesses with Kevin being eliminated: 'Ten. Kev's out. Damn it!'

Oscar · Pam · Jim:Jim wins jellybean count; Pam's neighbor complains: 'He has spent hours up here at reception with you. Hours and hours. Okay. No, constantly... like, for years.'

Michael · Pam:Michael's pitch to Pam: 'Nobody commits suicide because they work with a bailer.' He wants to demonstrate depression is as dangerous as the warehouse hazards.

Ryan · Pam · Jim:Ryan's talking-head: timed Kelly's Netflix explanation at 2 minutes 42 seconds; Pam wins ten because Kelly said 'awesome' 12 times; Jim wins five because she mentioned six romantic comedies.

Pam:Pam (on phone from below): 'Hey, uh, Michael. Don't jump on the bouncy castle. You can't do that 'cause you are going to get horribly, horribly injured.'

Pam · Dwight:Pam: 'Dwight, you are such a liar.' Dwight: 'Pam, really, what is it?'

Pam:'Michael likes me to run the camera when he makes his apology videos. He says he needs a woman's touch.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I don't often miss Roy, but I can tell you one thing. I wish someone had flashed me when I was with Roy. Because that would have been the ass-kicking of the year. Especially if it had been Jim.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'She might mention an e-mail that I wrote a while back...' — Pam has read Jim's email to Karen confessing feelings; Pam says 'I wouldn't want to be in an office relationship, anyway.'

Michael · Pam · Karen:The pros and cons list for Jan: Pros include 'Nice butt' and 'Perfect skin.' Cons include 'Breasts not anything to write home about,' 'Flat-chested,' and 'I'm unhappy when I'm with her.'

Pam · Michael:Pam: 'Don't think. Just answer. What do you want to do about Jan?' Michael: 'I want to break up with Jan!' — Michael shouts it with shocking conviction

Pam · Michael:Pam to camera: 'Michael, how can you appreciate women so much but also dump one of them?' Michael: 'You mean, how can I be so illogical and flighty and unpredictable and emotional? Well, maybe I learned something from women after all.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight sprints to the women's bathroom shouting 'Anti-flashing task force! Above the sink!' — closing shot of Pam looking at the camera

Michael · Pam:Michael gives Pam the job of 'finding out about people's character... not their hotness per se, but their humor and charisma, and the indefinable quality that makes you all glad to follow me'

Pam:Pam's confessional: 'I have the most boring job in the office, so why wouldn't I have the most boring job on beach day?'

Pam · Michael:Pam narrates: 'There's nothing better than a beautiful day at the beach, filled with sun, surf, and diligent note taking.' Michael: 'Pam, you're missing things.'

Michael · Pam:Michael asks Pam to heat up 800 hot dogs in 10 minutes with no equipment

Pam · Michael:Pam can't convert Michael's inconsistent scoring units: 'At various times you gave Jim ten points, Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs up. And I don't really know how to compare those units.'

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'Check to see if there's a conversion chart in that notebook.' Pam: 'I really doubt it, Michael.' Michael: 'Please just check.'

Pam:Pam's fire walk and subsequent speech: 'I did the coal walk. Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss.' Then: 'Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked.'

Pam:Pam: 'Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked.'

Pam:Pam's Jim speech ends with: 'Okay, my feet really hurt.'

Pam:Pam adds: 'The thing that I'm just trying to say to you, Jim, and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle.'

Michael · Pam:Michael's response to Pam's emotional speech: 'Pam, that was amazing. But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.'

Pam:Pam's talking head about her beach confession: 'It only took me three years to summons the courage, so thank you.'

Jim · Pam · Karen:Jim tells Pam 'I really miss our friendship' — but Pam immediately realizes he's just rehearsing what he said to her at the beach, calling it 'patheticville'

Michael · Pam:Michael calls Pam at reception: 'Defcon 10. Houston, we have a problem.' / Pam: 'What do you want me to do?'

Michael · Pam:Michael's crisis team assembly: 'If you would slowly and quietly gather the ladies in the conference room. Phyllis, Angela, Karen. What about Meredith? No. She's an alternate.'

Michael · Pam · Phyllis · Angela · Karen:'Defcon 20. She wants to get back together.' / 'How can she make you get back together with her?' / 'She made me do a lot of things I didn't wanna do.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight offers Pam the role of Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager — publicly a non-title — stripped of 'its pomp and frills'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I learned from Jim. If Dwight ever asks you to accept something secret, you reply, "Absolutely, I do."'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight introduces Schrute Bucks: 1,000 Schrute Bucks = five extra minutes for lunch; cash value = 1/100th of a cent

Dwight · Pam:Dwight formally thanks Pam for her service as Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager: 'You served the office with great dignity.' — complete with a dramatic pause

Pam:Pam's final talking head: 'Jim and I are just too similar. Maybe one day I'll find my own Karen. But that is a- um- you know, not- A man. A man version. But uh- until then, I can hold my head up. I'm not gay.'

Pam · Jim:Pam's tearful talking head: 'If he never comes back again, that's okay. We're friends. And I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just- we never got the timing right... I'm totally fine. Everything is gonna be totally...' / Jim appears: 'Pam. Sorry. Are you free for dinner tonight?'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam casually coordinate weekend plans in front of the whole office while the co-workers debate their relationship status — they talk about the flea market and mountain biking separately, acting like just friends.

Dwight · Kevin · Pam:Dwight and Kevin teasing Jim about visiting Meredith: 'Oh, I bet Jim goes, too.' / 'Yeah, I haven't asked him yet.' / 'Oh, I bet you ask.' / 'I was planning on it.' / 'I bet you were. Subtle.'

Angela · Pam:Angela declining to visit Meredith: 'I can't. Sprinkles is sick... Who will she eat lunch with? / Can't your other cats keep her company? / There's bad blood, jealousies, cliques...'

Michael · Pam:The full name of Michael's charity run: 'Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race for the Cure. Pro-Am.'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Discussion of finding a 'rabies doctor' to hand the check to: 'There is no such thing as a rabies doctor.' / 'What about a rabies nurse?' / 'I don't think so.' / 'You know what, though? I've actually seen ads for nurses that you can hire by the hour for parties and bachelor events.' / 'That's possible. Look into that. It's going to cost a couple hundred bucks and... Actually more with tips.'

Michael · Pam:Michael is found completely naked in his office changing for the race. Pam walks in after he says 'Come in!' — 'You said, come in!' / 'No, I didn't!' / 'Just, please, get out.'

Pam · Jim:Pam processing what she saw: 'So I closed the door but the image of his... Baguette? ...dangling participle still burned in my eyes.'

Michael · Pam:Michael defends his nudity by citing European office norms: 'European offices are naked all the time.' / 'They're so not.'

Michael · Pam:Michael to Pam: 'Pam, you're an artist, right? Think of me as one of your models.' / Pam: 'Okay, you know what? I don't want this to detract from what we really need to be thinking about today. It's not fair to people with rabies.'

Jan · Pam:Jan's apparent jealousy about Pam seeing Michael naked: 'So I heard that you were peeping on Michael.' / 'What? No, it was not...' / 'Look, I don't know what your deal is, but he's mine, okay? So, hands off.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam stop at an estate sale during the 5K race: 'I'm really committed to winning.' / 'Okay, but what if I told you that all the money you spend here goes to preventing a disease that's already been cured?' / 'Yes. That's what I thought.' / 'Let's do some good.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam at the estate sale; Pam shows Jim a lamp: 'You like it?' / 'It's kind of designy and cool.' / 'It was $8.' / 'Oh, and I get to carry it.'

Jim · Pam:Jim realizes the race ended far from where it started: 'Where are we?' / 'I don't know, like five kilometers from the office.' / 'He couldn't have made it a circle?'

Pam · Michael:Pam: 'Michael, you don't have rabies, and chances are you're not going to get it anytime soon. So, you don't really have to think about it too much.' / Michael: 'Pam, if everybody felt that way, nothing would get done.' / Pam: 'Yeah, but there's other, better people out there who are helping.'

Michael · Pam:Michael's comeback: 'I know you, Michael. I saw you naked.' / Michael: 'You've just seen my penis. I can make a difference.'

Pam · Michael:Pam: 'I know you, Michael. I saw you naked.' Michael: 'You've just seen my penis. I can make a difference.'

Jim · Pam:Dwight and Angela — dating. Have been for six months. / No, they have been dating for, like, two years. Since before your barbecue.

Pam:We should have started dating, like, a long time ago.

Jim · Pam:Is the magic gone? / It's funny you bring that up because, yes, it is. / I knew it! / I now find you repulsive. / That's honest.

Pam:Yeah, I'm going to do some mock-ups and then turn those into thumbnails, maybe do some splash frames... I don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm excited.

Ryan · Pam:Ryan asks Pam to dinner after approving her logo designs — 'Wear something nice'

Michael · Pam · Jim · Office Staff:The entire office is mesmerized watching the bouncing DVD screensaver cube, desperately hoping it hits the corner

Pam · Jim:Pam claims she saw the screensaver hit the corner; Jim's skeptical talking head cuts to Pam's furious rebuttal

Dwight · Pam:Dwight instructs Pam to go to his car, find pelts in the trunk, find a case under the smallest pelt, retrieve a bear horn

Jim · Pam:Jim proposes the prank on Dwight to Pam: 'What would you say if I told you we could pull a prank on Dwight and at the same time not be working?'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael's talking head: he has two tickets to the New York party and asks Jim and Pam 'What are you doing this evening?' — then cut to them clearly communicating nonverbally about who goes

Jim · Pam:'Not it. I won. / Not it. Nope. / Definitely not. If anything, it was a tie. / Tie goes to the girlfriend.'

Pam · Karen:Pam to Karen (implied): 'You still missing Ryan?' Karen: 'Not so much anymore.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight asks Pam for dating advice: 'How do you tell someone it's over? You send them a notarized letter, right? Well, what if the recipient is your notary?'

Andy · Pam:Pam talking to Andy about setting him up: 'Hey, do you have any men that you can fix me up with? I would like to have a relationship with a man.' Pam: 'I'll get back to you. Let me know.'

Michael · Oscar · Pam · Kevin:Michael has ordered Pizza by Alfredo instead of Alfredo's Pizza Cafe. When told they're the same thing: extended debate about quality, ending in: 'It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam on the roof: Jim recalls his first day — Pam's memory of the moment she knew she liked Jim: 'That mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired.' Jim: 'That was the moment that you knew you liked me?' Pam: 'Yep.' Jim: 'Can we make it a different moment?' Pam: 'Nope.'

Pam · Jim:Jim and Pam arrive at Schrute Farms; Pam riffs on hotel name puns: 'The Beets Motel.' 'The Borscht Hotel.' 'The Embassy Beets.' 'Radish Inn.'

Pam · Jim · Dwight:Pam: 'Yes. We will be requiring a bedtime story.' Dwight: 'No.' Jim: 'Not even Harry Potter?' Dwight: 'No, Jim, come on.' Jim: 'But you promised...' Dwight: 'Mose, bags, now.'

Jim · Pam:Jim's talking head: 'I'd say one in six.' Pam: 'What?' Jim: 'I thought you asked me what our chances were of being murdered here tonight.'

Dwight · Jim · Pam:Dwight reads Harry Potter bedtime story to Jim and Pam: 'And Harry saw the white hand raise its wand... his heart racing.' Dwight: 'What you got tonight?'

Pam:Pam discovers the room by candlelight: 'Oh, my God. What century is this?'

Dwight · Jim · Pam:Dwight enters Jim and Pam's room at night: 'Come in. Did you have another nightmare?' / 'I thought you were Mose. Does Mose have nightmares? Oh, yes. Ever since the storm.'

Dwight · Pam:Pam's morning greeting: 'Hey, Dwight.' Dwight, barely-controlled: 'Pam.' Pam: 'You okay?' Dwight: 'I am better than you have ever been or ever will be.'

Andy · Pam:Andy: 'She's very religious.' Andy: 'Okay, well, I come from a line of WASPs so long it leads back to Moses.'

Andy · Pam:Andy: 'Yeah, and I punched a hole in a wall.' Pam: 'That's right. You did.'

Pam:Pam's internal monologue: 'Now that I think about it, Angela and Andy might actually make a good couple. But I couldn't do that to Dwight. Or Angela. Or Andy.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's Trip Advisor review of Schrute Farms: 'The natural aroma of the beets drifts into the bedrooms and makes you dream of simpler times.' 'The dawn goose walk will tug at your heart strings.' 'Table-making never seemed so possible.' 'You will never want to leave your room.' 'The architecture reminds one of a quaint Tuscan beet farm.'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'Jim's just really passionate about Italian food.' Pam's talking head: 'Yeah. I'm very passionate about Italian food. In fact, I'm in love with Italian food.'

Pam:'And frankly all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.'

Pam · Jim:Jim tries to change subject back to animation; Pam insists: 'No, no, no. I want to see more of Philly Jim.' / 'I want Philly Jim.'

Pam:Pam confessional: 'I worked until 2:45 a.m. ... drive home and probably fall asleep at the wheel and die in a fiery car wreck. I passed out on my keyboard trying to decide.'

Jim · Pam · Creed:Creed steals Pam's hash browns — Jim reports it matter-of-factly: 'I'm sorry. I looked away for a second and Creed snatched your hash browns.'

Michael · Pam:The Michael Scott 'Director's Cut' commercial ends with the tagline: 'Dunder Mifflin. Limitless paper in a paperless world.'

Michael · Pam:The Michael Scott commercial ends with the slogan: 'Dunder Mifflin. Limitless paper in a paperless world.'

Jim · Oscar · Pam:Jim is excluded from the Finer Things Club because 'some people think you monopolize the conversation by trying to be funny.'

Michael · Pam:Michael vs. the Vivaldi playing in the break room: 'That's the problem, that's the problem. We need rock n' roll Pam, rock n' roll.'

Andy · Pam · Oscar · Toby:Finer Things Club discusses 'A Room with a View' while Andy lurks outside trying to look like he's casually reading the same book.

Phyllis · Pam:Phyllis microwaves popcorn and Pam asks why she doesn't use the kitchen microwave. Phyllis: 'Someone needs to clean it. It smells like popcorn.'

Pam · Karen:Karen comforts Karen about the copier being broken; offers to invite her to the Finer Things Club. — actually Pam offers Karen a comfort.

Pam · Jim:Jim, we need to order a cake for Creed's birthday... It's birthday month.

Pam:Every time Michael's in a meeting, he makes me come in and give him a Post-it note telling him who's on the phone. I did it once and he freaked out. He loved it so much.

Pam:The thing is he doesn't get that many calls. So he has me make them up every 10 minutes.

Pam:The warehouse got a Ping-Pong table last week. Now Jim comes down and plays with Darryl. Sometimes I bring him juice. My boyfriend is 12.

Pam:Okay, it's not regulation size, but it'll do. You have to practice. You have to get really good and beat Darryl.

Pam · Kevin:Hey, Kevin, Jim needs to see you. About what? He needs help balancing some travel receipts. Are you sure he wants me? Because I have Oscar balance my travel receipts. Yeah, no, he asked for you specifically. He's in the conference room.

Pam · Dwight:How's it going? / Well, he has gone from completely hopeless to simply miserable.

Jim · Pam:Wait a minute, Darryl is the client? / No, no, no, he works here, dumb ass!

Pam · Kelly:You know what? I'm sick of this. Let's go. You and me! / What? / Let's go! Pick up a paddle. / Okay. Bring it on. I am. / You think you can handle this? / In my sleep.

Pam · Kelly:Volley for serve. 'P.' 'O.' 'P.' 'O.'... Do you want to go play on the table upstairs? 'P.' 'O.' Yes.

Jim · Pam:What do you want to do for dinner? How about Chinese? We should really try to save some money. How about something cheap? That was my cheap suggestion. Chinese was my cheap suggestion.

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'I cannot create in the same space that I conduct business. I'm sure that you're the same with your doodles.'

Pam · Michael:Pam: 'What a cute bench.' Michael: 'Thanks. That's my bed.'

Jan · Pam:The Osso Buco hasn't started braising yet — dinner is 3 hours away

Jim · Pam · Angela · Andy:Beat after 'oaky afterbirth' — guests' silent, horrified reaction

Michael · Jan · Jim · Pam:Charades game — 'Joe Camel!' / first name of animal + capital state = 'Joe Montana'

Jan · Angela · Pam:Jan to Angela in the kitchen: 'You should see our bathroom after Michael takes a bath. But I don't have to tell you, Pam.'

Jan · Pam:Jan insists Pam and Michael used to date and she 'sees the way Pam looks at him'

Pam:Pam: 'I have never, ever dated or wanted to do anything resembling dating Michael, ever. Not ever, not now, not then, not now, not ever, ever.'

Pam:Pam: 'I'm sorry, are you really trying to get us to invest in Jan's company?'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I know Jan didn't poison the food. I know that. But if she was going to poison the food of someone at that table, wouldn't it be me? Michael's former lover.'

Jim · Pam:Michael asks if he can stay with Jim and Pam; Jim: 'My apartment's on fire.' Pam: 'Flooded.'

Pam:I'm setting Michael up with my landlady. She's really sweet, and... Whatever, I just can't take Michael like this.

Michael · Pam:Margaret the landlady? Really, Pam? Is that what you think of me? / She's sweet and cute. I thought you would get along. / Oh, okay. Well, I'm looking for a passionate affair, not companionship. / I'm a man of intensity. Of cool, and youth, and passionately.

Pam:Who's gonna take you in? You're messy. You're a klutz, you spill everything. And you leave the volume on the TV way too loud.

Pam · Jim:Yeah. / Maybe I'll just move in with my boyfriend, 'cause he's kind of a slob, too. / Okay. Sure. Let's do it.

Jim · Pam:Pam, I'm not gonna tell you. / I hate to break it to you, but that's not how that works. / Oh, right. Yeah. / Wait, I'm serious. / It's happening. Okay. / And when it happens, it's going to kick your ass, Beesly.

Jim · Pam:Oh! / You know what? That one... / Hey, Pam? / Will you wait for me one second while I tie my shoe?

Pam · Jim:I hate you. / What? / My shoe is untied. What is your problem? / Oh, my God! You thought I... / No, no, no. How could I have thought that? / How could I have thought that?

Pam · Jim:Pam imagines Michael had planned 'Scrambled Egg Saturday'; Jim counters: 'More like, Hey everyone, let's get your boss laid Saturday'

Jim · Pam:Jim's hypothetical: 'I bet Michael had some elaborate theme party planned, like Scrambled Egg Saturday.'

Michael · Pam:Pam's idea is about Will Smith's handprints at the Chinese Theater, and Michael misses the celebrity-imprint concept entirely until it's spelled out — then demands to put his FACE in the cement

Pam:Pam forgot her contact solution and must wear 'backup glasses' — the camera sees them for the first time

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'Oh my God, Pam, those make you look so ugly... You're moving in the wrong direction... It's just noise coming out of an ugly scientist.'

Jim · Pam:Jim fake-proposes to Pam: 'I propose that you get me a cup of coffee, which would energize me greatly, and make me the happiest man in the world.'

Kevin · Pam:Kevin hits on Pam using her glasses as a 'turn-on': 'All the girlfriends that I've ever had have worn glasses... Like librarians. Entering the... Could you just say, 'these are due back Thursday'?'

Jim · Pam:Pam asks Jim what Ryan wanted; Jim deflects with 'bureaucratic stuff.' Pam: 'Because you're very important?'

Jim · Pam:As the office clears out, Pam can't find her glasses and Jim offers his hand: 'Okay, you know what? Why don't you take my hand, and leave them? And let's get out of here.'

Michael · Pam:Michael assigns roles: 'Oscar will be in charge of accounting, Pam will be eye candy. No, and also because that is your alma mater.'

Pam:Pam confessional: 'Pretending to have PMS so I didn't have to play volleyball. Pretending to have PMS so I didn't have to play basketball. Those were the days.'

Michael · Pam:Michael pulls Pam aside about Justin: 'Only the best and the brightest.' — then dismisses him as 'totally wrong'

Michael · Pam · Oscar:The kid signs the blank sheet of paper, defeating its 'conceptual' purpose. Michael: 'Okay, that was supposed to be a blank canvas on which to put their hopes and dreams, and he just made it into a stupid piece of paper.'

Pam · Michael:Pam recounts Michael's original instruction with perfect recall: 'You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference, and I said, Are you sure, Michael? And you said, Pam, Pam, Pam, and then you sneezed in my tea, and then you said, Don't worry, it's just allergies.'

Pam:Pam wandering her old school's art room, looking for something she left there, finding nothing: 'No, no, they must have taken it down. Never mind.'

Michael · Pam:Pam returns with a sheet of paper from another company's booth; Michael: 'This is some sort of Pendleton crap.'

Pam · Jim:Pam calls Jim while he's in a bad spot on the course: 'I just drove 20 miles round trip back to the office to get Michael a single sheet of white paper. So I could've just had them fax it to me, I guess.'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'Oh, I like you.' — responding to Pam's fax realization

Michael · Pam · Justin:Michael: 'Pam Beesly, office hottie. She will do you.' (nervous laugh from Pam) 'No, no, but she has already dated two guys in the office that we know of, so this could be number three.'

Michael · Justin · Pam:Michael pulls Justin aside: 'I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist.' Justin: 'What? Why wouldn't you say that to her face?'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Cut to Jim's car window with Pam inside; Michael says 'Kiss her. Kiss her good.' — Jim and Pam share a moment, unaware Michael is watching/commenting

Pam · Student:A student approaches the Dunder Mifflin booth after Michael has left: Pam helps her fill out an application for graphic design

Pam · Recruiter:Pam at the graphic design table: admits she doesn't know Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Corel Painter, Illustrator, After Effects — 'I don't know any of those.'

Pam · Recruiter:The recruiter gently tells Pam she should consider adult education classes and maybe move to New York or Philadelphia for serious design training — repeated three times with escalating desperation from Pam

Pam · Jim:Pam announces she got into the Pratt School of Design, then admits: 'I didn't read it carefully. I just saw congratulations and skimmed the list. I saw my name, I came in here to tell you and get a snack. Busy morning.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'And that is the first time I've ever used the word perfect in here.'

Michael · Pam:Michael gives away his watch as his 'real gift' to Toby; Pam guesses 'Your watch?' before he says it. Michael: 'How did you know?' Pam: 'I just knew.'

Pam · Jim:Jim and Pam: 'Is Jim gonna propose tonight? He is, isn't he? No, he's not. Is he?'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam exchange: 'It was easy to get in, but impossible to rise up. That's what she...' 'A lot of places are like that.'

Meredith · Michael · Holly · Pam:Meredith takes photo: 'Oh let's do it again. Pam, your smile is weird.' Pam: 'It's digital, so just take as many as you want.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I don't know, I just...I really thought Jim was gonna propose tonight.'

Michael · Pam:Michael kicks Pam off the scale: 'Pam-cake, no, no, no. We would love your extra poundage, but you are going to be leaving us next week, so vamoose!'

Kevin · Holly · Pam:Kevin asks Pam if she weighs 226 pounds. Holly awkwardly tries to cover. 'Math is hard.' 'Yeah.' 'Just... We'll, just keep going.'

Pam:Pam: 'I will be a little fish in the Big Apple. What up, two-one-two?'

Unknown coworker · Pam:'If I don't see you again, goodbye.' / 'Well, actually, I'll see you when you give me the fax confirmation. So never mind.'

Michael · Pam:Michael wrote Pam a goodbye poem — the last word is 'seagulls' — and left it upstairs, asking her to wait while he gets it

Pam · Professor:Pam shows up to the wrong class at Pratt, sits down anyway, and the professor calls her out: 'It looks like I'm boring someone already.' / 'No, I just...' / 'Please sit down.'

Pam · Jim:Jim and Pam's first video call — Jim is still trying to set it up while Pam riffs: 'Ceramics class, then dinner by myself. I'm going to watch HGTV, and maybe go to Bungalow 8 with John Mayer.'

Michael · Pam:Michael's 'real beef' with Ronni: she can't find the colored paperclips. He asks Pam — via video call from New York — to help Ronni find them on the supply shelf.

Jim · Pam:Jim is hiding from his ex-girlfriend in a restaurant: 'Just hide me.' / 'Wow, was it the age difference?' / 'Actually, kind of, yes. I just didn't like eating dinner that early.'

Andy · Pam:Andy talks-head about his nephew's tee ball game: 'Tonight is my nephew's tee ball game and I kind of missed the first three, so...' Pam: 'You've already disappointed him so much. He can't be expecting a lot from you.' Andy: 'I know. I suck.' Pam: 'Yes, you do.'

Jim · Pam:Jim proposes to Pam at a gas station in the rain, at the midpoint of their drives, because he can't wait.

Pam · Jim:Pam tells Jim not to say hi to the office on her behalf because she's mad at them for not congratulating her on the engagement

Jim · Pam:Jim on the phone with Pam while she tells an extremely convoluted art school story — Jim can barely follow the names and keeps getting corrected

Jim · Pam:Pam: 'No, Stacy is a boy.' Jim: 'This is so frustrating. Why can't you just be in art class with me?'

Pam:Pam, on the phone from a laundromat, discovers she washed her lipstick: 'Great, I washed my lipstick.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's dueling voicemails — each calls the other, gets voicemail, leaves a message. Jim talks to Pam's outgoing message; Pam talks to Jim's.

Pam:I thought about selling a kidney, but Michael offered to get me a part-time job at corporate.

Pam:Of course, now Michael knows where to reach me 16 to 18 hours a week.

Pam:Pam's art school friends dressed as cats; someone asks 'A cat?' and Pam corrects: 'We were looking for kitten.'

Pam:Pam's talking-head: 'I think they're into the idea. They're probably thinking, "That Pam Beesly, she's the coolest sister-in-law on the planet. She's the best, the absolute best."'

Pam:Pam's ring-loss prank idea: she even put makeup on her finger to simulate a ring indent, then calls it 'very subtle'

Tom · Pete · Pam:Tom immediately tops Pam's prank idea with a crueler, pre-existing one about mocking her for being an artist

Tom · Pam · Jim:Tom at lunch: 'So, Pam, how much money does an artist make after they leave art school?'

Pam:Pam defends herself for real mid-prank: 'I mean, it's a very competitive field, but I have a professor who says I have a lot of promise, and if I don't try now, I never will, so...'

Tom · Pete · Pam · Jim:Tom and Pete reveal the prank: 'We pranked you. It was Pam's idea. Pam was the mastermind.'

Jim · Pam:Jim reading a text from his brother: 'Pam cool. Welcome to the family.'

Pam:'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we prank Tom about being bald?'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam reveal they're secretly connected via the world's tiniest Bluetooth earpiece all day — talking to each other during the workday without anyone knowing

Jim · Pam:"Pam, what do you want in your coffee? Sprinkle of cinnamon."

Jim · Pam · Dwight:Jim describes Dwight's emotional noise to Pam: "That was Dwight. He seems upset about something. Describe him exactly. What color mustard is his shirt? Yellow or Dijon?" — "It is more of a spicy brown, actually."

Jim · Pam · Dwight:Jim says 'Love you' into the Bluetooth; Andy/Dwight stare confused as Jim apparently talks to himself; Dwight: 'What do you think I am saying to you?' Jim: 'Not talking to you.'

Pam · Jim:Pam via Bluetooth: "Maybe it's cause you spent the whole year flirting with the receptionist." Jim: "A little bit. Worth it."

Jim · Pam · Dwight:Pam (via Bluetooth) is shopping for shoes online during Dwight's conspiracy rant; Jim: "How many shoes do you need?" — Dwight: "Who are you talking to?" Jim: "Pam." Dwight: "She's not here, Jim!"

Pam · Jim:Via Bluetooth: 'I said you definitely should go, but you wanted to visit me instead.'

Pam · Alex:Alex appears in New York to kidnap Pam for free wine and cheese at a Chuck Close retrospective — Pam: 'That's gonna be great. Who's Chuck Close?' then immediately: 'I love Chuck Close and his photo-realist paintings.'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'I'm gonna make a bigger leap here. He is into you.' (about Alex, to Pam via Bluetooth)

Pam · Jim · Pam:Failing. / Wow. I thought you were good at Flash. / I was, and then they switched to Acrobat just as I was learning Quark. I — I hate computers.

Pam:I'm coming back the wrong way.

Pam:It's not because of you. I don't like graphic design. That's it. Stop smiling. I really didn't like it. It's just designing logos and stuff. And I missed Scranton. But it is not because I missed you. I just really wanted to come home. And I know you said to come home the right way, but you can't tell me what to do. Got it?

Pam:It's not because of you. I don't like graphic design. That's it. Stop smiling. I really didn't like it. It's just designing logos and stuff. And I missed Scranton. But it is not because I missed you. I just really wanted to come home. And I know you said to come home the right way, but you can't tell me what to do. Got it?

Pam · Michael:One of them is for Toby. / Yeah. Why don't you send that to him in Costa Rica?

Michael · Pam · Jim · Kevin:The slow dawning reveal that Toby has returned, with the office coaxing Michael to 'meander back there' and 'dare I?' buildup

Pam · Ryan:Why aren't you as mad or interested in this as me? / Oh, totally. / Sorry, are we talking about the microwave still?

Pam · Ryan:Are you inching away from me? / No. / Reach your arms out. / I'm always this close.

Michael · Pam:Michael asks Pam to deliver a sealed note to Toby and to 'react to whatever this note elicits'

Pam · Ryan:Pam confronted by Ryan about the microwave — eventually agrees 'someone's gonna have to just get in there and clean it up' / 'I guess that's why we have a temp, huh?' / 'Oh no, trust me. I would just make it worse.'

Ryan · Pam:Oh, no, trust me. I would just make it worse. / How would wiping it with a paper towel make it worse? / I-- I would find a way.

Jim · Pam:Jim shows Pam the house: shag carpet, wood paneling, clown painting nailed to the wall

Pam · Jim:What are we doing at your parents' house? / I have a surprise for you. / All right. Ready? Close your eyes. And now... Open your eyes. Ta-Da!

Jim · Pam:And if you really hate it, I totally understand. / I love it. / You do? / Yeah, I love it. Really? / You bought me a house.

Pam · Jim:Um, do we have to sleep in your parents' bedroom? / No. No. We'll just board that up. It'll be that weird spare room that people ask us about. / And the clown? / Yeah, I can't — really can't move him.

Pam · Oscar:Pam argues that having to make too many copies is evidence the chairs are terrible: 'Exactly. That should tell you how terrible the chairs are.'

Pam · Jim:Pam tells Jim he is 'on very dangerous ground' regarding the chair/copier vote, while calmly insisting she loves him.

Pam · Oscar:After the lunch exodus, Pam and Oscar exchange looks and the confessional reveals: 'So I guess that's how they're going to play this. It is on. It is so on.'

Jim · Pam:Jim gives Pam tiramisu: 'I got you some tiramisu, so no hard feelings.'

Pam · Michael:Pam lobbies Michael on chairs: 'Everyone sits on a chair every day. But not everyone...' Michael completes her sentence: 'Sits on a copier.' Pam: 'Or even uses the copier every day.'

Michael · Pam:Michael's 'announcement' that the copier is working perfectly — demonstrated by making a copy — ends with him handing Pam 'the original' instead of the copy.

Michael · Pam:Michael has Pam stand up so he can sit in her chair and declare it 'ergonomically correct' — mispronouncing it as 'erchonomically.'

Pam · Jim:Pam asks Jim for 'three copies of each of these, stapled and collated' — then says 'I'm totally kidding. I'm going to need four.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam (or another character) watch Michael and Meredith through a window: 'They've been in there for 45 minutes. If she wasn't an alcoholic before, she is now.'

Andy · Jim · Pam · Oscar · Kevin:The entire office awkwardly tries to stop Andy from finishing his sentences about the affair situation — a cacophony of interruptions and avoidance

Andy · Pam:Pam: 'I've got a better angle on Pam. I can see everything.' [Andy, referring to seat position to see Pam better, mid-wedding planning conversation]

Andy · Dwight · Jim · Pam:The Prius scene: Andy slowly rolling toward Dwight in a silent electric car; Dwight reading the note, back turned; office workers whispering 'The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's talking head: 'We don't normally download films illegally because we're honest, hard-working people. And we don't know how. But Andy does, so we have to watch it with him.'

Pam:Pam's follow-up: 'What could Jim have said to make my dad want to leave my mom? And at what point in our marriage is he gonna say it to me?'

Pam:Pam's roast — delivered as facts: 'Michael, you ran over me with your car.' 'You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board with a caption that said, "Gross."'

Pam:Pam: 'Michael, you are the reason I drink. You are the reason I live to forget.'

Pam · Dwight · Kevin:Pam reads Michael's text: 'personnel day.' / 'Are we hiring?' / 'Yeah, you're being replaced.' / 'I think he meant personal day.' / 'I don't know. That's quite a leap, Pam.'

Pam · Michael:Pam's talking head: 'He brought a sled.' Michael corrects: 'No! That is a toboggan. You never know when you're gonna find a snowy hill.'

Pam:Pam's talking head about the time-and-a-half pay: 'I especially love the time-and-a-half pay, 24 hours a day, for three days. 'Cause I have a mortgage now. Gotta bring home the bucks.'

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam not to say 'bucks': 'Yeah -- Oh, don't say "bucks." That's not ladylike.'

Michael · Pam:Michael explains that he and Pam will be staying in hotels at night — 'Separate rooms.' Pam: 'Well, that goes without saying.' Michael: 'I'm gonna say it anyway.'

Michael · Pam:Michael suggests Pam dress more like a magician's assistant — 'Maybe you could tie it around your waist or lose the shirt underneath.' Pam: 'No.'

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'I need silence or Sam Kinison to prepare.' Pam: 'But then you fall asleep and there's nothing for me to do.'

Pam:Michael suggests talking, Pam says she's fine: 'I'll just play a song in my head.'

Michael · Pam:Pam asks Michael if he's nervous about seeing Karen, 'since she was the other woman.' Michael: 'Actually, you were the other woman, so.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn't hate me. But Karen knows me and she still hates me, so.'

Michael · Pam:Michael introduces Pam to Rolando: 'Maybe you guys could go out on a little friend date sometime.'

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam to picture Karen naked: 'Don't be nervous. Just picture her naked. That's what I do.' Pam: 'Stop it, please.' Michael: 'Steal my trick.'

Michael · Karen · Pam:Karen walks in visibly pregnant. Michael: 'Oh my god. Is that Jim's?' Everyone: 'Michael!' Michael: 'Okay... my head just exploded.'

Michael · Karen · Pam:Karen shows Michael and Pam a photo on her phone: 'This is us.' Michael: 'So dorky.' Pam: 'Oh, he's cute.' Karen: 'Yeah, he's so cute.' Michael: 'He's a dermatologist.' Karen: 'He's a dermatologist. We met at a bar. Can you believe that?' Michael, looking at another photo: 'What is happening there?' Karen: 'Oh yeah, don't even.' Pam: 'That's really dorky.' Michael: 'It's really dorky. You were right the first time.'

Pam:Pam's talking head about seeing Karen: 'I'll never wonder ever again if I did something wrong and... now I have closure. She's happy and — I don't know, it feels good.'

Jim · Pam:Jim asks Pam if she's asleep. Pam: 'No. I'm just thinking about what you said. About Karen, about closure.'

Michael · Pam:Michael decides to skip the Rochester lecture to go to Nashua for Holly: 'Let's go. I'll just blow off the lecture at Rochester.' Pam: 'Yeah. Screw 'em. Let's do this.'

Kelly · Pam:'Hi, Kelly. Screw you.' / 'Excuse me.' / 'Screw you, too.'

Pam · Utica Employee:How's Jim? We're engaged. / Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you.

Pam:Pam's confessional: Nashua is only accessible by cross-country skis.

Pam:Pam's advice: 'And then she'll move back to Scranton, and her boyfriend will die.'

Michael · Pam:Michael collapses to the floor during the presentation. Pam has to come retrieve him. 'Michael, get off the floor.'

Michael · Pam:That was weird, huh? / It's all part of the presentation. / It was confusing, right? Because confusing situations happen to us all the time in our jobs.

Michael · Pam:I went through Holly's things. / What? / I stole a sleeve of her sweater.

Pam · Michael:I could read it. / No, I wouldn't... / Yeah, I could read it. / No, you don't have to do that. / Go get your laptop. Okay.

Pam · Michael:It's deleted. / She still has feelings for you.

Pam · Michael:Pam: 'She still has feelings for you.' / Michael: 'Is that what it said? What did it say?' / Pam: 'I can't tell you specifically, but it's not over.'

Michael · Pam:Michael considers apologizing to Roy, then pivots to looking for 'Tony from Stamford.' / 'Jabba the Hutt, Pizza the Hut. Fat guys like pizza, pepperoni pizza, Pepperoni Tony.'

Jim · Michael · Pam:Jim to Michael: 'You're only engaged once.' Michael: 'Present company excluded...' Jim: 'Really, Jim? On Cupid's birthday?'

Michael · Pam:Michael moves Pam's flowers off her desk to the floor, claiming 'I wouldn't want them to fall' — a thin excuse to hide them from singles

Jim · Pam:Jim and/or Pam react to Dwight's Valentine with 'Look at those. How nice for you. Up there front and center, beautiful' — the condescending sweetness of not correcting him

Phyllis · Jim · Pam:Phyllis: 'Why don't you guys come and have lunch with Bob and me? We'll take all afternoon. Michael is terrified of Bob.'

Pam · Jim:Pam: 'What's the rule about eating when people are in the bathroom?' Jim: 'I think if you ordered hot food, you're allowed to eat.' Pam: 'Damn.' Then: 'They've been in there for like ten minutes.'

Jim · Pam:Pam and Jim debate covering food: 'Just cover it with the broccoli.' Jim: 'Great, I have to cover it. Do you think they dined and dashed?' Pam: 'They didn't dine.' Jim: 'Maybe they just dashed.'

Michael · Pam:Michael insists on telling a knock knock joke while Pam is visibly on the phone with a client

Pam:Good morning, Mr. Wonka. — Pam plays along perfectly straight

Pam · Jim:That's psychotic. — Pam / Do guys actually do that? — Jim / Guys with girlfriends don't. — Pam

Pam:Pam on the phone: 'No, I'm sorry. He's not back from the civil rights rally. I'll have him call you the minute he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial.'

Pam · Michael:Pam's excuse list for Michael: 'He's not back from the civil rights rally.' / 'Stopping a fight in the parking lot.' / 'An Obama fashion show — whatever that is.' / 'Trapped in an oil painting.'

Pam:Pam's talking-head listing Michael's excuse list: 'Stopping a fight in the parking lot. An Obama fashion show. Whatever that is. Or trapped in an oil painting. I'm going to save that one.'

Michael · Pam:Yeah, let's face it, this meeting sounds like it's Wonka fans only. — Michael, after being excluded / He's never seen the movie. — Pam (to David, about Dwight)

Kelly · Pam:'Oh, my God, he's like a black George Clooney.' / 'Really? I don't see it. I mean, he's okay. He's not unattractive, he's...'

Michael · Pam:Michael calls back and has Pam tell the assistant that 'Michael Scotch' has confirmed the son will be returned

Michael · Dwight · Jim · Pam:Michael recounting his resignation story in agonizing, meandering detail — starting with needing to pee on the drive

Dwight · Jim · Pam:The coworkers' fantasy quitting-speech suggestions: 'Wouldn't it feel good to tell him he's incompetent... that he's wasted 15 years of your life? Maybe spit in his face?'

Pam:'I love a good quitting story. It makes me feel like I have control over my own life. Gives me hope. Maybe I'll have one of my own someday. But I dream.'

Michael · Pam:Michael insists he'll be 'headhunted' for a new job rather than look for one

Kevin · Pam:Kevin presses Pam about the copier — 'Soon could mean anything. Soon could be three weeks. Is that what soon means to you?' / 'Sometimes.' / 'Then come back soon.'

Pam:Pam's confessional about the copier: 'Yesterday they delivered the new one. But they didn't set it up. So my day just got a little more interesting.'

Pam · Michael:'It's monster.com. Singular. Thank you.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight offers to translate the German copier instructions; Pam declines; Dwight invokes American arrogance leading to wars; Pam says 'That's a really—'; Dwight cuts in: 'World War II.'

Michael · Pam:Michael asks Pam to modify the Dunder Mifflin order form to say 'Michael Scott Paper Company' — 'Somebody's been talking in bed. Pillow talk.'

Michael · Pam:Michael's solution to rebranding forms: 'Could I take a piece of paper and just tape it with transparent tape?' / 'Yeah. Good.'

Pam:'It's not ready, Kevin!'

Pam:Pam on the copier: 'I have sunk four hours into that copier. And I am not going to let it beat me like that wireless router did.'

Pam:Pam's copier victory speech: 'I did it. I learned everything about this machine. I know all the buttons. Even the inside ones. I know all the error messages. I could do a bound book in plastic with offset colors, which feels...'

Pam · Jim · Michael:Pam announces she's going with Michael — 'I'm going!' — to everyone's shock

Pam · Jim:Pam decides to quit and join Michael: 'I'm going with him.' / 'What? Pam.' / 'I'm going!'

Pam · Michael:Pam's negotiation: 'Except I don't want to be a receptionist anymore.' / 'Executive assistant.' / 'Salesman.' / 'All right. Okay.' / 'Deal.'

Michael · Pam:Pam arrives at Michael's condo. Michael: 'Oh good, my hooker's here. Kidding. Hi.'

Pam · Michael:Michael opens the door in a robe. 'Are you wearing anything under the robe?' — 'That is inappropriate, Pam. Come on in.'

Michael · Pam:Pam enters the condo-office. Michael offers: 'Would you like some French toast?' — 'Yes, please.' — 'What shape?'

Michael · Pam:Michael in his condo says 'So what do you say we get started?' Pam: 'After breakfast.' Michael: 'I'm full.' Then: 'So how you feeling about the new company?' — back and forth stalling.

Michael · Pam:Michael and Pam fight over the whisk while making French toast. 'No, I'm whipping it.' 'No, I know you are.' Eventually: 'Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't do this.'

Pam:Pam's talking head about Ryan: 'I never see him drink. I never see him eat. I don't think he even uses the bathroom.' Beat: 'Oh, he does. He does.'

Michael · Pam:Pam suggests making a list. Michael: 'Okay. First, work out.' Pam: 'And, hey, look, you did that.' — Michael: 'Check.'

Michael · Pam:Second item on Michael's list: 'Eat an enormous breakfast. Check.' Pam: 'Don't patronize me, Pam.'

Michael · Pam:Ryan's inclusion in the dream team: 'He's everything I'm not, and everything I am. He's the whole package.' Pam: 'No, we're not gonna hire Ryan.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I have doubts about this too. But when one person freaks out, sometimes it weirdly makes the other one calmer. That's one thing I've learned about relationships. I hate that I just used the word relationship.'

Michael · Pam:Michael opens the mail to find a letter from the condo association: he is in violation of his condominium agreement for running a business from his residence.

Pam · Vikram:Pam and Vikram wait outside while Michael goes to the bathroom. Long pause. Pam: 'He's taking a long time. Is it possible he's bowling?' Vikram: 'I mean, you know him better than I do.' Pam: 'Yes. Yes, it's possible.'

Ryan · Pam:Ryan to Pam: 'What do you make, secretary?' Pam: 'Back to work, shoe bitch.'

Michael · Pam · Ryan:Michael openly steals bowling shoes from the rack while no one is watching. Pam: 'Look what he's doing.' Michael: 'He's already paying for himself.'

Michael · Pam · Nana:Michael's investor turns out to be Pam's grandmother ('nana') — and Michael is asking for more than originally requested from 'an investment club' that is clearly just one old woman.

Vikram · Pam:Vikram: 'What kind of a name is Nana?' / 'It means grandmother.' / Vikram: 'Oh, sweet Jesus.'

Pam:Pam's response to Ryan's breakdown: 'Well, we should make a list. Lists are good. Lists are good. Lists are good.'

Pam:I make that one copy and I become the girl who makes copies. And by the end of the day I'm receptionist again.

Pam:And the worst part is, I like making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff. And it's cold in there, 'cause it's technically a closet.

Michael · Pam · Ryan · Charles:Oh, this is awkward. [beat after Michael, Pam, and Ryan pass Charles in the hallway]

Pam:R thinks he's too good to be here. And P is not as much fun without Jim.

Michael · Pam:Michael grabs the phone from Pam mid-call with her mom

Pam:P is being a giant B. [said loudly enough for Michael to hear]

Pam · Ryan:We could work from home. / Or you could fire one of us. / Whoever has less education.

Michael · Pam · Ryan:One, two, three, [expected cheer] — No, you're supposed to say 'Rock the house!' / How would we know that?

Ryan · Pam · Michael:That's my corner. / I thought that was your corner. / No, this is where I work. I can't relax in the same corner where I work. / Is my corner the one with the copier?

Pam · Charles:Well, it was great catching up with you. And I'll see you around the building. / Okay. / I'm just gonna sit here for a little bit longer, if that's okay.

Pam:The air smells so good. I don't remember it smelling so good. The chairs—

Pam:Dunder— Michael Scott Paper Company, this is Pam.

Pam · Michael:We already offered free delivery. / They don't know that.

Pam:Now we are going bargain hunting in the haunted graveyard of their love.

Michael · Ryan · Pam:U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly, you ugly, you mama says you ugly — Go Michael Scott Paper Company!

Michael · Pam:I'm just getting hardcore with him. Finally.

Pam:We got the van at a used car lot. We think it says 'Alleluia Church of Scranton' in Korean. It was either this or an old school bus with an owl living in it.

Michael · Pam · Ryan:We have 20... Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry, no. It's... It's a paper company now. It's not for the church.

Michael · Pam · Ryan:You know what we need? We need some couches. — We should really consider getting a delivery guy. — You know what you would love? It's if we built a loft. — Why would I love that? — Can we afford a delivery guy? — Like in a dorm room. You put your desk underneath, you have your loft up top. You can sleep up top. — I know what a loft is. — Most dorm rooms don't even have that. — Most do in the magazines.

Michael · Ryan · Pam:Right. So... Why don't you explain what that is... So they can under... — Explain what that is. — Explain what you think that is. — Just explain.

Jim · Pam:I saw you called. — You're just out of business? — We have maybe a month. — I don't know what I'm gonna do. — Don't worry about it. We'll figure it out. We'll be okay. — That's what Michael said. — Only this time we will be okay.

Jim · Pam:Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. — My new 'Dwight' ring. — I like it. — Good, right? — Idiot, we're starting back up. This is Dwight, by the way.

Pam:So Jim and I are getting married and the wedding's really expensive, so I tried to get a job on the weekends to earn extra money. I applied to Old Navy, Target and Walmart. None of 'em called me back. Not even for an interview.

Ryan · Pam:I never went to Thailand. — Really? — I went to Fort Lauderdale. — Was it nice? — Yeah, it was amazing. There was a great pad thai place, though. — I love pad thai. — You never had pad thai.

Pam:There's a lot I haven't done.

Michael · Ryan · Pam · Jim:Are you being serious? — He's bluffing. — What you don't understand is that this company's worthl... — We don't have... — I'm here to learn as little information as possible.

Michael · Pam · Ryan · Jim:Maybe. — Three yes.

Michael · Ryan · Pam:OK, so you're not going to reveal in any way that we're broke. Of course not. That we're having any problems at all. Just to reiterate, none of us is going to say anything that might indicate we are going broke. There is no way in hell that I'm going to say that we're broke. — I'm really worried I'm gonna say it.

Michael · Pam · Ryan:$60,000? — We are so... — rich. — Jerry, the one that got away.

Pam:May I ask why you're leaving the Michael Scott Paper Company? — Really? — Please hold.

Michael · Ryan · Pam:How could you do this to me? You just cost me $60,000. — Why would you get the whole thing? It's a lot of money. — But we need money coming in every week. We need jobs. — Wouldn't you rather have a fishing pole than a fish? — I would rather have $60,000, honestly.

Michael · Stanley · Ryan · Pam · Andy · Dwight:Michael cross-examines the salespeople about their lunch — Stanley's detailed salmon salad order — then uses it to steal their lunches

Kelly · Pam · Angela · Oscar · Toby:The office staff forms a chaotic line outside Toby's door, each mimicking his 'if you do this, I'll do that' dress code negotiation gestures

Ryan · Pam:Ryan and Pam compete graciously for the sales job by recommending each other to Michael

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam she didn't get the job — then immediately reveals he's joking

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam she didn't get the job; when she accepts graciously, he reveals he was joking and she got it. Then: 'You should have seen your face.'

Michael · Pam:'Well, there's no easy way of saying this, so I think I will just drag it out. Since the dawn of time, there have been...' Pam: 'Just tell me.'

Michael · Pam · Jim:Michael reveals he also told Ryan he didn't get the job — after telling Ryan he was getting the job — so Ryan experienced both excitement and devastation

Michael · Kevin · Pam:Anybody want to go to lunch with me later on? I do. Okay, how about a woman? Pam? / I can't do lunch. I was just sending you an e-mail.

Jim · Pam:Pam recalls the drunk guy who grabbed her 'for balance' at last year's picnic; Jim confirms: 'You don't grab these for balance.'

Jim · Pam:Pam offers to beat up Charles; Jim says: 'I shouldn't have to ask you to do that. You should just do it.'

Charles · Dwight · Pam:Charles calls a rule violation on Pam's hand touching the net; Dwight objects; Charles insists on taking the point.

Pam:Pam's confessional revelation: 'Maybe I played a little in junior high. And in high school. Maybe a little in college. And went to volleyball camp most summers.'

Pam · Jim · Doctor:Doctor doing Pam's X-ray asks: 'No metal plates? No chances you're pregnant?' Then: 'Could we hurry this up? I've got a game to get back to.' / Doctor: 'Good, because my next question was: do you have a game to get back to?'

Jim · Pam:Talking head explanation of why the internship program was shut down: 'Ever since Michael's Monica Lewinsky incident. He didn't do anything sexual. He just made far, far too many Monica Lewinsky jokes.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's talking head about keeping the pregnancy secret, with Jim doing air quotes on 'knocked up by some guy'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'Wait, there's not going to be a shotgun?' / Pam: 'Nope.' / Jim: 'No shotgun? Because that changes everything.'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'Free at last, free at last.' / Pam: 'No, keep it up. You'll never guess what I know.'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Pam shows the ultrasound to prove the pregnancy. Michael: 'That is the inside of your vagina.' Jim: 'That's not how it works but...'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael's follow-up to Jim and Pam: 'You should have told me. You're right. We should have realized that you are an equal part of this.'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael: 'How long have you known about the pregnancy? A week? A month? A year?' Jim: 'Michael, we only told our parents last week.' Michael: 'Did you pee on a stick?' Pam: 'I did. But it was inconclusive.'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael has called Stanley's wife Teri to verify Stanley's story — 'Michael, Teri Hudson returning your call.'

Pam · Michael:Pam denies saying 'good luck' to Jim as he entered the meeting. Michael: 'Did I? Doesn't sound like me. Not very superstitious.'

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'If you're lying to me right now, Pam, your baby is gonna come out a liar. That's how it works. They inherit things through the breast milk.'

Pam:Pam: 'Please don't talk about my breast milk.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'We realized most people wouldn't be able to make the drive to Niagara Falls. Which is why we're having it in Niagara Falls.'

Ryan · Pam · Kelly:Ryan commits: 'Yes. I'm coming to your wedding.' / 'Okay. Ryan Howard, yes.' / 'Probably yes.' / 'Kelly Kapoor, yes.'

Ryan · Pam:Ryan: 'Niagara Falls in October? Hells yeah!' — then refuses to fill out an RSVP card

Pam:Pam: 'You are going to text me the morning of my wedding to ask for directions?'

Pam:Pam's confessional: 'Rude.' — followed by to camera, 'So rude, right?'

Pam:Pam: 'I have been chasing people down all day. It's incredible.'

Pam:Pam tells someone she needs to fit into her wedding dress. Beat. 'However, I'm also pregnant.'

Pam:Pam on registering for gifts: 'We did, but mostly because people expect us to.' Pause. 'We're also accepting other gifts not on the registry.' Pause. 'However much. It's awkward asking people for money, but we could really use it. Why doesn't Crate & Barrel let you register for a toaster full of cash?'

Phyllis · Pam:Phyllis tells Pam that her cousin makes 'the most amazing romantic birdhouse mailboxes' and that Pam will 'still be surprised when you see it' — then asks 'You're not registered for a birdhouse, are you?' Pam: 'No, we're not.' Phyllis: 'Good. Good.'

Pam · Kevin:Pam asks for cash as a wedding gift. Kevin: 'Like money? Like you — you want my money?' Pam: 'Mm-hmm.' Kevin: 'Will you take a check?' Pam: 'Yeah.' Kevin: 'Cool. In the memo line, I'm gonna write, "To love's eternal glory."'

Pam:After discussing Pam's cash gift request, we get Pam's talking head: 'Is this what I've become? Materialistic? Shallow? I feel horrible. Oh, look! "Mrs. Pam Halpert!" That's the first time I've seen it in writing.'

Creed · Pam · Jim:Creed's wedding gift gambit: 'Would you guys rather have $100 now or $5,000 a year from now?' Pam: '$100 now for sure.' Creed: 'Because you just give me $50 to cover the broker fee, I put in 100 of my own money as the gift...' Pam backs out. Creed: 'Instead of $5,000 a year from now?'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael, Jim, and Pam drink gin in the office while the angry staff presses against the glass. Michael: 'Just pretend we're not here.' Jim: 'Okay.'

Jim · Pam:Jim's 'mental picture' bit: Pam's aunt's advice about taking mental pictures, Jim tries it, 'Click. Oh, you blinked. Damn it. Now that's in my brain forever. What a lousy picture.'

Meemaw · Pam:Meemaw to Pam: 'I wasn't sure about your branch of the family after I heard about your parents' divorce. But you and Jim are just perfect. God bless you.' Pam: 'Thank you. But nobody's perfect.' Meemaw: 'Well, I wouldn't care to live if I thought that.'

Jim · Pam:Jim's rehearsal dinner toast: confesses he knows how to make a photocopy and that teaching him to drive stick 'took a year' — Pam: 'I've been driving stick since high school.' Jim: 'Very nice.'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'I think it was a little touch and go at first, but we saved it, I believe.' Pam: 'I can't believe it was me.' Jim: 'I know. I can't believe it was you, either.' Jim: 'I actually think it takes a lot of pressure off of me.'

Pam · Jim:Pam: 'Is there something about being a manager that makes you say stupid things?' Jim: 'I have not found that to be the case.'

Andy · Pam:Andy does a split on the dance floor and screams — then: 'I was dancing and I did a split and I landed on my car keys in my pocket. I tore my scrotum. I need you to take me to the hospital.'

Andy · Pam:Andy: 'Andy, I'm getting married in eight hours.' Andy: 'Everyone else is too drunk.' Andy: 'Just don't let me die here.'

Jim · Pam:Jim learns Pam is taking Andy to the hospital: 'He tore his scrotum dancing.' Jim: 'What?' Pam: 'Is in my room, icing his balls.' Jim: 'What?' Pam: 'Please stop saying what.'

Andy · Pam:Pam driving Andy to the hospital: 'Well, at least slow down a little bit, because every little bump in the road is major pain on... my scrotum.'

Pam · Unknown:Pam's dress: 'Is it zipping over your belly? Don't squish the baby.' Pam: 'Thank you, weirdo.'

Jim · Pam:Jim's pre-wedding visit to Pam: 'Is this allowed?' Pam: 'No, no. But I'm allowing it. Just come here.' Jim: 'That was an intelligent comment.'

Pam · Dwight:Pam's confessional: 'Hello, stranger. How do I look?' Dwight: 'Oh. Fine. Abel, nice to see you.' Pam: 'What do you want?' Dwight: 'Um, nothing... Anymore.'

Jim · Pam:Pam's veil has torn. She's upset. Jim secretly tears his tie to match: 'There. Now we're even.'

Pam:Pam talking head: 'Everyone's driving me crazy. I know way too much about Andy's scrotum, and my mom won't stop freaking out about my dad's new girlfriend.'

Jim · Pam:The wedding party walks down the aisle to 'Forever' by Chris Brown — despite Pam and Jim having put it on the 'do not play' list. Jim: 'I begged them not to. I know you specifically put this song on your do not play list.' Pam: 'Yes, I did.' [then they watch and get swept up in it]

Jim · Pam:Pam: 'Wait, what happened? You're okay with this?' Jim: 'Yeah, I'm okay.' — Pam is surprised Jim accepts the forbidden song.

Oscar · Pam · Jim:Oscar calling Jim and Pam on their honeymoon: 'I'm so sorry to be calling you on your honeymoon... It's Michael. He thinks he's being shaken down by the mob.'

Pam:Pam's response: 'Unless someone very close to us is in immediate physical danger, you should not be calling us.'

Kevin · Pam · Jim:Kevin calls Jim and Pam's credit card company pretending to be Jim, gives Jim's full home address and last four digits of his social security number.

Kevin · Pam:Kevin calling Pam and Jim on their honeymoon: Pam erupts about the canceled credit card, then: 'I'll let you go. Tell Jim that I said "Hi."' / Pam: 'I will. I will, Kevin. I will make that my top priority.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam called 'Frank and Beans' instead of 'Frank and Benny' — Jim's nickname for the couple that always makes Pam laugh

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael pretends to be blind — 'Because I'm blind' — groping around as Jim and Pam return from their honeymoon

Pam · Jim:Pam asks to check with Michael before putting candy on the counter — despite it being candy for everyone

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam exchange 'Frank and Beans' in the break room — their private joke, reprised

Jim · Pam:Jim debates whether to give Michael the rum or the seashell alarm clock; Pam: 'Bottle of rum it is.'

Pam · Michael:Pam gives Michael relationship advice about dating a 'co-worker's mother' without knowing it's her own mother

Pam · Michael:Long beat as Pam keeps asking 'Who is it?' and Michael stalls — the camera holding on his guilty face

Pam:Pam's reaction when she realizes it's her mother — 'Oh, no. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Nooo!'

Pam:Pam on the phone with her mom: 'How could you do this to me? He's my boss! How many times have I complained about him to you?'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother too now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.'

Michael · Pam:'Pamela Morgan Beesly, you need to apologize to your mother right now.' — Michael calls Pam out in the meeting

Pam · Oscar:'Don't call my mother your lover!' / 'Ooh. That's what I'm talking about.'

Oscar · Pam:'Maybe you're right. Who are we to--' / 'Shut up, Oscar.' — Pam cuts off Oscar as he starts to sympathize with Michael

Michael · Pam:'I am your boss, and I may someday be your father, so get out.'

Pam:'You are never gonna be my father. You get out.' — Pam's comeback

Michael · Pam:'I hope that you are willing to die in this office, because I am.' / 'Me too.'

Oscar · Pam:'My mother's in a wheelchair.' / 'Well, he could still...'

Michael · Pam:'You know what? You're just as stubborn as your mother.' — Michael as an insult, to Pam

Pam · Jim:'What? You knew?' / 'Barely. I... I don't have all the facts.'

Michael · Pam:'Do you want me to stop dating your mom? / Yes. / Well, that is not gonna happen!'

Jim · Pam:'Hey.' / 'Shove it!' / 'Yep.' — Jim's attempt to comfort Pam is immediately dismissed

Jim · Pam:Jim reveals Dwight is washing their car as a Pam comfort gift — 'He did that for me?'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam on the honeymoon: 'We went on a Segway tour. And we're awesome at it.' / 'Yes, we are.'

Jim · Pam:'And Frank and Beans.' — Jim's third use, now a genuine comfort mechanism for Pam

Pam · Jim:'Maybe I'm overreacting.' / 'Yeah. Maybe.' / 'But I don't think I am.' / 'You're not. Nope.'

Andy · Pam:'Sometimes I'll just dance for hours in the living room.' / 'And I'll watch him.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: "I really hoped this thing would just die out. But today he's planning a birthday lunch for my mom, and we have to go. No way out."

Jim · Pam:Jim intercepts the 'urgent' phone call from Swartz Lumber and resolves it instantly, revealing it was fabricated as an escape hatch from the birthday lunch

Pam:Pam's talking head: "Why did I get in the car? I could have struggled. I have a whistle in my purse. I didn't even blow it."

Pam · Helene · Jim:Pam asks which birthday they're celebrating; Helene says 49 for the ninth year in a row — "This is now our longest family tradition."

Jim · Pam:Jim talking head: "God, a scrapbook. Home run, Michael. You set the bar so high." Pam: "That was a bunt."

Pam · Michael:Pam defends Michael dating her mom — just as Michael begins his breakup speech

Michael · Pam:Michael offers Pam a raise in his office — which turns out to be a bribe to make her not be upset about the breakup

Pam · Michael:Pam: 'I have the worst attitude of any person here.' Michael: 'Do you want the raise or what?' Pam: 'Yeah, I'll take it.'

Pam · Michael:Pam says she wants to hit Michael; Michael immediately agrees and starts making logistical arrangements

Pam · Michael:They agree Pam will hit Michael in the parking lot, in front of everyone, after work

Toby · Pam:Toby gives Pam boxing technique instructions in the parking lot

Michael · Pam · Office Workers:Michael keeps raising his hands to block; the crowd tells him to put his hands down; he puts them in his pockets

Pam · Michael:After hitting Michael, Pam immediately apologizes; Michael says "What are you sorry for?" and Pam says "So many things. I don't know, it's hard to choose." Michael: "How 'bout for dating my mom." "Maybe that's..." "And dumping her on her birthday."

Pam:"Holy crap!" — Pam's reaction to Michael saying her mom came on to him, implying she hits him again

Michael · Pam:Michael: "You were right." Pam: "Come wait, why are you limping?" Michael: "I don't know."

Jim · Pam:Jim's reaction beat: 'Oh my god, he's making you look like such a fool.' Pam: 'He really is, but not for long.'

Pam:Pam introduces herself as 'Deborah Utante' and someone remarks: 'That's clever. Debutante.'

Jim · Pam:Pam and Jim's private conversation about the bankruptcy: Jim: 'I'm trying to think of a way this all ends up fine, and I can't think of one.'

Michael · Pam:Michael sees Pam stressed and says 'Deb, what in the world? Do you have the vapors?' — immediately trying to pull her back into the game.

Jim · Pam · Office:Jim reports back on Wallace's call: 'What's the news?' Jim (beat): 'Nothing yet.' — but we saw the call where Wallace said the company is insolvent.

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'The thing I like most about Recyclops is that he's creating a different world for our child.'

Michael · Pam:Michael rehearses his wave for the shareholder meeting, experimenting with remaining seated for a 'humble' nod

Pam:Pam: 'And it looks like you're taking a dump.' — in response to Michael's seated nod idea

Michael · Jim · Pam · Dwight:The entire office gangs up to kill the twirl: 'Don't do the twirl.' / 'Lose the twirl.' / 'Twirl sucks.' / 'Michael, I hated the twirl.' — then Michael insists it was a spin, not a twirl

Jim · Pam · Office Staff:Jim asks: 'Who here believes that I have as much power as Michael?' — long pause — Pam finally raises her hand very slowly

Pam:Pam's talking head after the hand-raise: 'I forgot I have to support him no matter what. Close one.'

Pam · Oscar:Pam defending her win: 'Wait, come on. I didn't miss a day, I came in early, I stayed late, and I doubled my sales last month.' Oscar: 'Oh, really? From what? Two to four?' Pam: 'Yep.'

Oscar · Matt · Pam:Pam nudges Oscar to go talk to Matt. Oscar's approach: 'Good pâté, right? Oscar made it. Have you met Oscar?' He then flags Oscar over himself to introduce them.

Pam · Matt:After Oscar introduces Matt to himself, Pam says: 'How come the good ones are never straight, right?' — directed at Matt, who is gay. Pam: 'Okay, Pam. Okay. Yes. They're the only two gay guys I know. But they should be together.'

Pam · Jim:Pam tells Jim she MapQuested directions to the daycare (4 blocks away) so they won't get lost; Jim: 'Or we could drive, and that takes one minute.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's confessional about the daycare: 'Turns out a lot of parents want the very best for their children. That's weird.' / 'But if not, there's always the Army. The infantry.'

Pam · Jim:Jim and Pam arrive at the daycare: 'Okay, this is officially the cutest thing I've ever seen. Cubbies! I totally forgot about cubbies. There's a finger-painting station and a curly slide. Am I too old to go here?'

Jim · Pam · Jerry:Jim walks in on the daycare director in the bathroom; both try to pretend it didn't happen during the subsequent interview

Pam:Pam in the daycare suggests the strawberries ran away from the pizza: 'Maybe they ran away 'cause the pizza was, like, "Hey, get out of here, you stupid strawberries."'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's daycare interview is going badly; Pam whispers 'We should just go. He's really uncomfortable.' / Jim: 'He's uncomfortable because you're acting weird, so you have to stop acting weird.' / Pam: 'What if we just bring it up? We'll just put it out in the open?' / Jim: 'That's the weirdest possible solution to the problem.'

Jim · Pam · Jerry:Jim and Pam's daycare interview: they ask about holiday flexibility 'because we might want to change our days around a little bit.' / Jerry: 'That seems a bit premature, don't you think? I don't even know if I have a space for you yet.'

Pam · Jerry · Jim:Pam suddenly asks Jerry: 'Is this because Jim walked in on you going to the bathroom?' — breaking the unspoken social agreement mid-interview

Jim · Pam:Jim to Pam: 'Seriously? You told her?' — assuming Pam told the interviewer about the bathroom incident when it was Pam who just blurted it out directly

Jerry · Pam:Jerry tells Pam: 'Did you ever consider that you might not be as charming as you think you are?'

Pam · Jim · Jerry:Pam: 'This coming from the guy who still uses a children's toilet.' / Jerry: 'It doesn't lock for the children's safety.' / Jim: 'Why didn't you just lock the door, man?' / Jerry: 'It doesn't lock for the children's safety.' / Pam: 'Anybody could have walked in.' / Jerry: 'It was story time.'

Jim · Pam:Jim comes to Pam and says 'I wanna make out.' Pam says 'No, not now.' Jim: 'I have some information.' Pam: 'Why were you doing that?' Jim: 'What do you mean why? Why didn't you? Our cool new boss said to read the handbook. Don't make me feel like a dork.'

Jim · Pam:Jim's final talking-head: 'As a manager, I felt I couldn't do that.' Pam: 'Um, please don't make it a habit.' Jim: 'I'm afraid I'm going to.'

Pam · Jim:Pam announces her pregnancy to a client as a sales tactic during her maternity leave check-in call

Jim · Pam:Jim explains the insurance midnight scheme, then adds: 'once we bring the baby home, if it's crying all night, one of us is gonna have to take care of it, and I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.'

Pam:Pam: 'I cannot wait for that joke to be over.'

Michael · Jim · Pam:'Well, the baby was conceived here, so might as well live here a little bit, too.' / 'That logic's airtight, but unfortunately it wasn't conceived here.' / [beat] / 'Burning Man, Porta Potty.'

Pam · Jim:Pam to Jim: 'Sweetie, I love you, but you're really distracting me from my distractions.'

Jim · Pam:Jim tries to prevent Pam from getting in the car — Pam says she knows because 'You know me too well.'

Jim · Pam:Jim asks 'Hey, did you change?' Pam: 'Oh, yeah. My water broke.'

Jim · Pam · Michael:Jim and Pam's genuine moment: Jim confesses 'I'm scared. I'm real scared.' Pam: 'I'm scared, too.' Michael: 'I'm petrified.'

Pam · Jim:Pam insists they detour past the house to get her iPod with the 'birth song' on it — 'I don't want the first thing the baby hears to be the 8 Mile soundtrack.'

Dwight · Pam · Jim:Pam tries to tell Dwight where the spare key is; Dwight: 'I don't need a key.' Pam persists; Dwight: 'Don't. Don't. Don't tell me.' As Pam keeps trying to tell him during contractions.

Dwight · Jim · Pam:During the delivery, Dwight appears: 'No, don't push. Pull! Pull!' followed by 'Why don't you get some more ice chips?' to Jim, and then '...Gotta go wash my eyes. That kid's gonna have a lot of hair.'

Jim · Pam:Jim announces the baby name: 'Cecelia Marie Halpert.' Then starts with wrong stats: 'Eleven pounds, four...' Pam corrects: 'Seven pounds, two ounces, 18 inches.'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'You want to count her fingers and toes again?' Pam: 'No, let's let her rest. I'm sure there are still 12 of each.'

Pam · Pam's Mother Helene:Pam's mother returns with coffee: 'It was an adventure and a half trying to find the cafeteria, but I have returned with the coffee.' Pam: 'Thank God. I haven't had caffeine in nine months.'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael holds the baby and she seems to say 'Michael' — 'That's so weird. She was saying it just before you got here.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's touching moment — 'Remember yesterday, when we were terrified of being parents? We were just kids. What did we know?' — played straight but arrives 19 hours after labor started

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam attempt to swaddle the baby — failing repeatedly. 'She's too strong. Careful, though. You don't want to break it.' Pam: 'She's not going to...' — Jim calls the nurse.

Jim · Clarke · Pam:Male lactation consultant Clarke arrives. Jim clearly uncomfortable: 'Do you want to try it, Jim?' Jim: 'Mmm-mmm. I think you're good. Doing a good job.'

Jim · Pam:Clarke leaves; Pam struggles alone; Jim offers to try the technique he watched. Pam: 'Jim, please, please, please. I think it would be weird if you did it.' Jim: 'That makes sense. I'll just go get the other guy.'

Pam · Isabel · Jim:Wrong baby: Isabel is holding a baby she's incorrectly identified as Cecelia Halpert. Pam: 'Wrong baby. This is not our baby!'

Jim · Pam · Nurse:Cut to the other baby's room: the other baby is sleeping perfectly quietly. 'She's not hungry.' Pam: bewildered.

Pam · Jim:The baby (actually theirs, now returned) 'is not hungry' — with the implication being the wrong baby was calm because it had just been fed in the nursery.

Jim · Pam · Nurse:Jim and Pam are told checkout is at 3:00 — it's 2:35. Pam: 'Half hour.' Jim: 'Well, 25 minutes.' Then immediately asks the nurse: 'Can we get a late checkout?'

Jim · Pam:Pam has learned to breastfeed: 'There we go. Yeah. Oh, yeah! Like that. Oh. There we go. You got it.' Jim: 'Five tickets on the windshield.'

Jim · Pam:Jim asks Pam if she used Clarke's move on the baby. Pam: 'I used a variation of your move.' Jim: 'Mmm-hmm.'

Nurse · Jim · Pam:Bureaucratic bit: A nurse checks Jim and Pam's IDs to release the baby to them. 'Two forms of ID, please.' Then she does it again with the baby: 'And now you. Two forms of ID, please.'

Dwight · Jim · Pam:Final tag: Dwight appears at Jim and Pam's door. 'I couldn't find your iPod.' Long pause. 'Give me a couple days. Be out of your hair.'

Jim · Pam:Jim calls Pam at home and describes his situation: 'I am currently reading incoherent riddles on blue index cards to find vital information Michael has hidden all over the office. How are you?'

Pam:Pam: 'Nothing but vomit and diapers over here. Oh my god, I couldn't envy you more.'

Jim · Pam:Jim decodes Michael's clue: 'When arrogant salesmen are mean to my face, a certain manager will go to his moppy place' — Pam: 'He means his mopey place. It's under that street lamp he thinks was in Casablanca.'

Jim · Pam:Jim calls Pam expecting her to want a night in, but she immediately shouts 'Yes! Yes, I would love to!' before he finishes his sentence

Pam:Pam excitedly lists 'Creed, Ryan. Oh, my God, Stanley!' as people she's thrilled to see

Kevin · Pam:Pam arrives at the bar and Kevin, in childlike excitement, immediately engulfs her in a massive hug, shouting 'Oh! I missed you so much!'

Pam · Jim:After Date Mike appears, Pam says quietly to Jim: 'Do you want to just make a run for it?' Jim: 'Maybe.'

Jim · Pam:After Angela's failed attempt to break up with Dwight at Whac-A-Mole: 'Maybe we should tell her he's not normally like this.' / 'Maybe it should come from a man.' / 'Maybe it should come from a note.' / 'With flowers.' / 'Tomorrow.'

Jim · Pam · Julie:Jim and Pam trying to explain Michael to Julie: 'He's more just...' — followed by long silence and uncomfortable trailing off, ending with 'You can go. Yeah.'

Pam · Julie:Julie tells Pam she's leaving. Pam: 'I'm sorry. He's not usually like that.' / Julie: 'What's he usually like?' / Pam: 'He's more just...' [long pause, trails off]

Pam:Pam says they 'have to get home' because she spilled her drink and they 'wouldn't give me a refill' — an absurdly low-stakes reason to leave

Pam:Pam's confessional on maternity leave: 'It rocked. It rocked my ass off.'

Pam · Dwight:Pam discovers her dead plant: 'Oh. You couldn't have watered it? / I literally did not know that existed until this moment.' / Dwight: 'Well, I knew it existed, and I chose to let it die.'

Meredith · Pam:Meredith is caught using Pam's breast pump: 'I just like the way it feels.' / Pam: 'Give it back to me, now!' / Meredith: 'I was just warming it up.' / Pam: 'That's... It's disgusting!' / Meredith: 'We're both girls. Who cares?'

Michael · Pam · Jim · Dwight:Michael 'suspends' Pam, then Jim, then Dwight for slow-clapping: 'Wait, what? I was just slow-clapping your no-nonsense decision-making.' / Michael: 'I don't want to hear it. Suspended.'

Pam:Pam defends herself to Michael: 'Andy, she's not the easiest person in the world to have a conversation with... who doesn't tell their girlfriend that they were engaged to someone who works four feet away from them? That's like... That's... That's like Mr. & Mrs. Smith crap.'

Pam · Erin:Pam approaches Erin: 'You know, I was engaged before Jim.' / Erin: 'Really?' / Pam: 'Yeah. And he worked here, too.' / Erin: 'It was Andy, wasn't it?'

Pam:Pam's advice to Erin: 'Sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants until it finds what it wants.'

Jim · Pam:Jim tries to suggest a joke for the pitch: 'I just delivered a baby. They didn't offer me a guarantee.' Pam and Jim's shared cringe.

Pam:Pam talking head: 'We have good give and take. I give, he takes!'

Michael · Donna · Jim · Pam:Michael tells Donna that Jim and Pam 'look exactly alike' and when Donna says she has a sense about these things and they probably 'have ancestors in common somewhere back,' Michael says 'I knew it.'

Michael · Pam · Donna:Michael interrupts the sales pitch to ask Donna if she shops at Victoria's Secret, claiming magazines are being sent to his condo address for a previous tenant — Pam points out: 'None of this is time sensitive.'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael: 'What about Pam? And you did a heck of a lot more than kiss.' Gesturing at Jim as justification for his own workplace kiss attempt.

Michael · Pam · Jim:Michael: 'Team Shortbread!' — then the whole group devolves into competing Team Shortbread factions after Pam takes his side

Jim · Pam:Jim on Pam's soft support of Michael: 'Don't act like you understood anything that [the Schwab] guy said.'

Jim · Pam:Pam: 'You can flirt with someone to get what you want and also be attracted to them. How do you think we got together?' Jim: ''Cause I stopped by your desk like 15 times a day.' Pam: 'I was after your money.' Jim: 'Well, the joke was on you.' Pam: 'Yes, it was.'

Michael · Jim · Pam · Dwight:Michael returns dejected; the whole office immediately denies being attracted to him. Michael: 'You might all wanna be having sex with me right now and I wouldn't even know it.'

Michael · Jim · Pam · Dwight:Michael to the group: 'You might all wanna be having sex with me right now and I wouldn't even know it.' Multiple people: 'Not at all.' 'Do not.' 'Please.'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael returns triumphant: 'I kissed. We kissed.' — describing returning the barrette. Cut to the whole office's disbelieving reaction.

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'Run what?' Pam: 'Amok.' Michael: 'Why didn't you just say that, Pam?'

Jim · Pam:Jim's talking head: 'Wow, that dude is good.' / Pam: 'What do you mean?' / Jim: 'You didn't feel like he was hiding something? Like he was covering something up?'

Michael · Jim · Pam:Michael listing his great loves: 'Holly, Carole, Jan.' Then adds 'Helene.' Jim: 'Helene?' Michael: 'My mother.'

Pam:Pam's confessional: She uses a Facebook mutual friend to look at Donna's photos — and instead of showing pictures of a boyfriend, she's looking at pictures of her own baby CeCe, narrating them with wonder

Pam · Jim · Michael:Pam pretends to want to discuss her sex life with Michael to distract him while Jim tries to get something signed — 'Yes, yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my sex life with Jim.'

Pam:Pam, desperate to get Michael alone: 'Yes, yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my sex life with Jim.'

Jim · Pam:"The Eagles are doing a theme of ice creams in honor of turning 60. 'Despera-Dough, Witchy-Womanilla.' Why do they do this?"

Jim · Pam:"After his last breakup, he ate 40,000 calories in three hours. Right, Pam? / Yeah. Or, no, well, I don't know. I'm sorry. I was up all night with Cece."

Pam:"Otherwise I'd be running this." (said by Pam about coordinating Michael's emotional crisis, while clearly half-asleep)

Jim · Pam:Jim announces half-hour shifts to watch Mr. Bean and Pink Panther with Michael, organizing it like a workplace emergency

Pam:"And if you get stuck and you don't know what to do, make a random sound effect. Okay, farting noise, whatever."

Andy · Jim · Pam:Andy's confessional: "ANDY: No secret crying. / Hasn't even opened the tissue box in there. / Could he still be seeing her? / I don't think he'd do that. / So, we're gonna say the most likely scenario is that Michael matured overnight? / It happened to Tom Hanks in Big. / Exactly. It happened in Big."

Jim · Pam · Michael:Jim and Pam invite Michael to dinner with 'Hooters to go, Rock Band, and play with our baby' — Michael declines

Pam · Jim:Pam falls asleep on Jim's shoulder during the stakeout, snoring loudly

Gabe · Jim · Pam:Gabe calls Jim and Pam into his office for sleeping on the job — does a 'dressing down' and then immediately says he hates the power dynamic

Jim · Pam:"Well, you were surprisingly restrained. / We will be well rested tomorrow."

Pam · Ryan · Kelly:Pam and Ryan bicker about anthropology vs. Anthropologie (the store) — Pam says she read 'a book about anthropology', Ryan thought she meant the clothing store

Pam · Darryl:Pam's sleep deprivation plot: 'I don't think I'm gonna make it.' / Darryl reveals the warehouse workers have a secret nap spot — dark room, heat from the backup generator. 'Sometimes I think about it when I'm trying to fall asleep at home.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's sleep deprivation conversation: Pam can't drink energy drinks because Cece drinks it through the breast milk six hours later — Jim: "Well, it doesn't mean I can't drink it."

Pam:I'm talking to this woman at day care, she's telling me all about her amazing trip to Vietnam. I have nothing. I tell her our printers catch on fire spontaneously.

Pam · Jim:My mind is going a mile an hour. / That fast?

Ryan · Pam · Ryan:Okay, here's what we do. I say we just smash all the computers. We destroy the evidence. No evidence, no case. / Wouldn't we get fired for smashing all the computers? / No, okay, not all the computers. Just our computers.

Pam · Andy:Andy? Hey. I wanted to say that I think it was very brave of you to go to the press. / Thanks. Yeah, you know. Just seemed like the right thing to do.

Michael · Dwight · Jim · Pam · Ryan · Creed · Andy · Oscar · Angela · Kevin · Darryl · Erin:The entire cold open lip sync/dance performance to 'Nobody But Me' — the whole office is participating in an elaborately choreographed music video, including Dwight with a CamelBak hydration pack, Creed awkwardly appearing, and Ryan ignoring it for his laptop

Jim · Pam:Jim confesses to Pam: 'Sorry.' Pam: 'Oh no, don't worry about it. I'm just gonna put a couple keys on every day until Christmas. Then his pants would have fallen down, which was... a little gift to me, but...' Pam: 'It was really funny.' Jim: 'Well, it would have been. So unprofessional, Mrs. Halpert.'

Pam · Jim:Pam says 'I love you' to Jim after being called unprofessional

Michael · Pam:Michael posts a sign saying 'Do not bother Luke' with a circle-slash symbol. Pam points out it looks like 'bother Luke.' Michael keeps redrawing it more elaborately, producing increasingly confusing versions.

Pam:Pam confessional about the failed prank: 'I feel horrible for blowing Jim's prank. I don't know if you can tell, but he's mildly upset. And Dwight hasn't been messed with in a while, so he's become a monster. I need to make this right.'

Pam:Pam and Luke set up an elevator prank on Dwight. Pam to camera: 'Dwight is about to get so pammed.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight immediately begins emergency protocols in the elevator, demanding Pam use 'her talons' to pry open the doors after about 2 seconds of being stuck.

Dwight · Pam:Dwight announces he needs to establish a 'pee corner' because he has '56 ounces of fluid in my bladder' after about two seconds in the elevator.

Pam:Pam's reassurance after the spanking: 'You're okay. He's okay.'

Pam · Jim:Pam tells Jim she's seen the elevator prank video: 'Some prankster switched the elevator buttons on Dwight.' Jim: 'I did not do this.' Pam: 'I know.'

Pam · Jim:Jim sees Pam's elevator prank video and says: 'This is impressive.' Pam: 'Well, you know... they don't call me the Bart Simpson of Scranton for nothing.' Jim: 'Do they call you that?' Pam: 'They do call me that.'

Pam · Jim:Pam: 'Yeah, and it was going really great at first. I got video.' Jim: 'This is impressive.' Pam: 'Well, you know, they don't call me the Bart Simpson of Scranton for nothing.' Jim: 'Do they call you that?' Pam: 'They do call me that.'

Jim · Pam · Dwight:Jim and Pam chat while Dwight drinks water defiantly. 'Hey, Chinese tonight?' 'Yeah.' 'Great.' — cutting to Dwight furiously drinking water from a bottle while Jim and Pam try to stop him.

Jim · Pam:Jim explains they're late every day because of the daycare across town, then immediately pivots: 'Why didn't I think of this before? Did you know that there is a daycare center opening right here in this building?'

Pam:'Were you painting in the dark?' — Pam's reaction to the daycare's decor, presumably chaotic/crude wall art

Jim · Pam · Dwight:Jim says 'Prove it' when Dwight claims the door locks, leading Dwight into the room; Jim and Pam then lock him in

Pam:Pam's cold call: 'Look, I'm not gonna tell you that we have lower prices. Is price something that is important to you?' [pause] 'Okay, well, let me know if anything changes.'

Pam · Jim:Pam asks Jim: 'Tell me everything's gonna be okay.' / 'Tell me I'm good at sales.' Jim unconvincingly complies both times.

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'The unfair thing about working in sales is that your salary is almost all commission. So if you suck at sales, you make almost no money. I guess that's fair.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'I.' — a single word, claiming the title of office administrator to a vendor who asked who was in charge

Pam:Pam stands up and loudly declares: 'I'm the office administrator!'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'There are a few ways to get promoted. One is to wait for an opening and apply for it. That's the main way. But this could work.'

Pam:Pam's talking head about collecting signatures: 'There are a lot of one-person departments here, so there's a lot of department heads. But I'm off to a good start. Oh man, if I can pull this off, it will be the scam of all scams. And yet, very helpful to everyone.'

Gabe · Pam:Gabe confronts Pam about being office administrator: 'I have gone through everything from the past three years. There is nothing that says that you're office administrator.' / Pam: 'So weird that there's no paperwork.'

Pam:Pam deflects with a story about her Australian friend meeting someone from two streets away: 'Canberra, I think, and she met this guy who lived only two streets away from her in America.'

Gabe · Pam:Gabe: 'Could I get one of those nameplates that says "Gabe Lewis"?' / Pam: 'For sure. Anything else? I'll get it right away.'

Pam · Gabe:Pam immediately gets Gabe a nameplate as her first act as office administrator, after winning their confrontation

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'The first lesson of watching World Poker Tour at 2:00 A.M.: you play the opponent, not the cards.'

Jim · Pam · Michael:Jim and Pam at the restaurant: their babysitter 'fell through' and Michael riffs on finding a 'niece my family never told me about'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'Let's get our Sweeney on.' — said with complete sincerity returning to the theater

Michael · Jim · Pam:Balloons pop loudly during the most dramatic moment of the play, triggering Cece (the baby) to start crying

Jim · Pam · Erin:Jim and Pam confronting Erin outside: 'All you had to do was play with her for, like, 30 minutes and then put her to bed. Then we were kind of hoping you wouldn't touch her again.'

Erin · Jim · Pam:Erin: 'But why would I take her to the hospital?' — responding to Jim saying the car seat was 'to take her to the hospital or...'

Jim · Pam:Jim: 'Well, we're never leaving the house again.' Pam: 'Not together.'

Michael · Jim · Pam · Oscar:Colleagues start booing Michael after he dismisses the idea of people booing him: 'Boo! Boo!' / Michael: 'I appreciate the feedback.' / More boos / 'I don't like that at all.'

Andy · Jim · Pam:Andy shows Jim and Pam the 'best seats in the house' — the seats they would have had — explaining where the speakers converge and 'the sound just, like, nails you right here'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam decide to make Irish cream and orange juice — 'Let's get our juice on.' — said with the same cadence as 'Let's get our Sweeney on'

Nate · Pam · Andy · Kelly · Dwight:Nate attempts to deal with a hornet's nest using a blowtorch, then a bat — chaos ensues with people fleeing and screaming 'They're stinging him!'

Andy · Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's baby called an 'unplanned pregnancy' — 'Just admit that your baby was a mistake.' / 'She was a surprise.' / 'I'm sure they don't regret having that child. Let's move it to the pros.'

Pam · Jim:Nothing happened. We went on a couple of dates. He never called me again. / What? He never called you? I thought you said it just fizzled. / That's fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle.

Pam:No, I liked him. For a couple of days. Four years ago. You know I have a kid with you, right?

Dwight · Pam:Dwight mistakes Pam's Olive Oyl costume for Dwight Schrute's mom: 'Looks like someone decided to dress up as ol' Dwight Schrute's mom.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight tells Pam she looks like 'ol' Dwight Schrute's mom' — 'You're only 1/3 as beautiful and about half her height.'

Jim · Pam:Pam explains that Jim refuses to wear his Popeye costume. Jim in talking head: 'I've never really been a costume guy. Even when I was a kid, it just felt like something I was too old for.'

Kelly · Pam:Kelly changes her costume mid-day. Pam: 'Kelly! You cannot change costumes in the middle of the day!' / 'Pam, she's out.' / Kelly: 'Um, if I'm out, I'm gonna sue this entire company for discrimination!'

Oscar · Pam:Oscar walks the catwalk with a sign: 'The Rational Consumer' — and is presented by Pam: 'I present to you the Rational Consumer. As it were.'

Danny · Jim · Pam:Danny reveals why he didn't call Pam back: 'I didn't call her back because she spent the whole date talking about you. She was obviously in love with you.'

Danny · Pam:Danny's real reason for not calling Pam back: 'I didn't call you back 'cause I thought you seemed a little... dorky.'

Danny · Pam · Jim:Danny tells Pam the real reason he didn't call back: '...Dorky.' Beat. Pam: 'Now I know. You thought I was a little dorky.'

Pam:Pam's talking head after being called dorky: 'Well, excuse me.'

Jim · Pam:Jim in his Popeye costume: 'Spinach in a can. Powerful spinach. A-gah-gah-gah-gah.' Pam: 'Aw, my hero.'

Oscar · Pam:Oscar wins the costume contest. Oscar wins with his 'Rational Consumer' costume, beating out all the actual Halloween costumes.

Pam:Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

Jim · Pam · Cece:Cece's blowout diaper incident during the christening — Pam and Jim scrambling in the middle of the ceremony

Jim · Pam:We have an extra outfit in the bag. No. There's no extra outfit in the bag. You said you checked it. I did say that.

Pam:Okay, A, 'Halbert'? And, B, I think a more appropriate statement would be, 'The Halberts are hosting an intimate reception for their invited guests.'

Pam · Jim · Host:We just had to add a few more tables. We weren't expecting this many people. You don't know them all? Nope. And we're gonna need a loaves and fishes kind of miracle to feed them all. Jesus is not your caterer.

Jim · Pam:Who the heck was that? I think that was Sconesy Cider, noted baptism reception critic.

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam realizing Cece is missing — 'Here's her carrier, but no Cece.'

Kevin · Angela · Pam:Look at these scones, Jim. Give me that! Thousands of them. What kind of a person steals scones from a baby?

Jim · Pam:Did you lose Cece? Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. I did. Can you fake a seizure or a heart attack or something? I can make myself cry. Do that. Do it.

Jim · Pam:Lake Wobegon is on. Do you guys... Are you cool with that? [closing scene with Garrison Keillor on the radio]

Pam · Michael:You have a gun in your desk? / Somewhere.

Pam · Jim · Dwight:She loves him. / I don't know about 'love.' / She loves me.

Pam · Dwight:Michael, just don't think of it as degrading. Think of it as you happen to be moving the pizza six inches this way, and he happens to be biting it. / I'd prefer for him to think of it as degrading.

Pam:It's not Dwight. Don't think it's Dwight.

Angela · Pam:Are you authorized to do this? / Yes. I have been so authorized.

Pam:Yes, I invested in WUPHF. I know Ryan's kind of a sketchy guy, but hey, I married Jim. I've done my part for the nice guy. Now I want a bedroom set — one that matches.

Pam:I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding Cece, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest — if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob, I can pretty much sell anything.

Michael · Pam:Why have I been separating the trash into whites and colors? / I'm sure no one asked you to do that.

Dwight · Pam:'Maybe you can unspool a little more each time you need to...' 'Don't tell me how to do my business.'

Pam · Dwight:'Which is you.' / 'Which is you is not a sentence. I disagree with.'

Nate · Pam:Nate's cover story for Dwight: 'Dwight's being questioned by the police in connection with a string of dognappings'

Nate · Pam:Nate tells Pam (on hold): 'Dwight's being questioned by the police in connection with a string of dognappings...'

Pam:Pam's confessional about the roach billboard Dwight put on the building: 'So this building can get uglier. I will not work in a roach billboard.'

Michael · Pam:Michael deflects Pam's complaint to himself: 'Absolutely. Pam, this is exactly why I hired you. Handle it.'

Pam · Dwight:Pam's threat: 'We can move out.' — long pause — then Dwight's shocked: 'Really?'

Pam:Pam announces she's been playing zombie soccer for two hours — then immediately corrects herself: she went to scout offices

Dwight · Pam · Jim:'Parley. My office. Five minutes.' / 'Parlay?' / 'Pirate code. He wants to meet.' / 'So everyone here knows pirate code?' / 'I understand it. I can't speak it.'

Pam:Pam's counter-prophecy: 'And my daughter, Cece, dances on your grave fully clothed.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight confronts Pam about the office search: 'I'm the only one here you haven't asked about the new office.' / 'I know. Because you're the reason we're moving.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight asks about square footage and number of offices; Pam can't answer; Dwight: 'That's the problem. You only have one sheet.'

Dwight · Pam:Dwight asks what the first thing Pam will do in the new office is. She says she'll walk down the hall and say 'I can't believe this is real, but it is.'

Pam:Pam confesses she fabricated the office brochure: 'I pulled those pictures off the Internet. It's just this office administrator thing, I don't want to... Fail.'

Pam · Dwight:Pam uses building code article 19 to legally force Dwight to restore all amenities: 'No more cutting the tampons in two and no more tampering with the toilet paper.'

Pam:I'm the office administrator now, which means I'm basically being paid to be head of the party planning committee. The first thing I did as head... I shut it down.

Pam:At its worst it was a toxic political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best it planned parties.

Pam · Kelly:Kelly, I thought we agreed on fleece blankets. 'Blankets? What am I, five?'

Pam:Pam confessional about Jim's gift: 'He always gives me the best Christmas gifts. He'll take a memory or a private joke, and he'll create something totally unique. I love them. So this year I made him something. A comic book.'

Ryan · Pam · Jim:'I do, however, have a hookup with a dude who has a pickup.' [Pam suggests Darryl] 'You know Darryl?' 'Yeah, he works here. We all know him.'

Pam · Jim:Pam on Charlie Brown tree idea: 'What if we got a really beat-up one, like on Charlie Brown, and just loved it for what it is?'