Shareholder Meeting

Dwight · Jim:Dwight introduces himself as 'Recyclops' for Earth Day, cheerfully offering recycling tips while dressed as a character he invented

Dwight:Recyclops year 2: 'Who has put a number seven plastic in a number four bin?' — delivered with intimidating authority

Dwight:Year 2 Recyclops: 'Who has put a number seven plastic in a number four bin?'

Jim:Jim's talking head: 'Then tragedy struck Recyclops when his fictional planet was attacked by some other fictitious thing. I can't remember.'

Dwight · Jim:'Recyclops will have his revenge' — and the note that he renounced Earth Day and vowed to destroy the planet he once loved

Dwight:Dwight gestures to aerosol spray: 'That's aerosol spray. It's terrible for the environment. Humans are terrible for the environment.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'The thing I like most about Recyclops is that he's creating a different world for our child.'

Jim:Jim's talking head: 'A world where you truly can be anything you want. God bless you, Recyclops, and your cold robot heart.'

Michael · Pam:Michael rehearses his wave for the shareholder meeting, experimenting with remaining seated for a 'humble' nod

Pam:Pam: 'And it looks like you're taking a dump.' — in response to Michael's seated nod idea

Michael:Michael imagines himself being introduced as 'Michael the Machine Scott' at the shareholder meeting, with crowd going wild

Michael · Jim · Pam · Dwight:The entire office gangs up to kill the twirl: 'Don't do the twirl.' / 'Lose the twirl.' / 'Twirl sucks.' / 'Michael, I hated the twirl.' — then Michael insists it was a spin, not a twirl

Michael · Oscar:Oscar explains the company's financial crisis in bullet points: bad investments, no cash. Michael asks him to condense it. Oscar: 'That's as simple as I can make it.'

Michael:Michael dismisses the town car: 'Town cars are actually better though, better torque, better handling.' Then sees the limo and immediately reverses: 'Town cars suck.'

Michael:Michael's new theory: 'A limousine is something that a company sends when they have cause for celebration. And in this case, I think we are celebrating me.'

Michael:Michael on limo mileage: 'What kind of mileage does this baby get? It's like what high school kids take to prom on TV shows.'

Oscar · Michael · Meredith:Oscar: 'This is so typical of management to spend money on this. They're a bunch of boobs.' Michael: 'Hate to break it to you, Oscar, but some of us like boobs.' Meredith: 'Calves, calves all the way.'

Michael:Michael invites everyone in the limo by going around: 'You're invited, and you're invited, and you're invited...' — the car only seats eight

Ryan:Ryan and one other decline the limo invitation with flat 'No thanks' / 'No.' Then someone says 'I'll use it when you're done.'

Shareholder:Shareholder in talking head: 'The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is DMI. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, Morons and Idiots — because that's what you'd have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.'

Kevin:Limo interior: Kevin excited about pillows — 'That's bigger than my bed.'

Jim · Ryan:Jim asks Ryan to consolidate contacts into Outlook. Ryan: 'Doesn't seem like there's much of a point if the company's going under.' Extended back-and-forth ends with 'Might as well do it now.'

Andy · Michael:Andy suggests a softball question for Michael: 'Michael Scott, you run the most profitable branch of Dunder Mifflin, how do you do it?' Michael: 'No, no, that's too hard.'

Michael:Michael proposes the name 'Zamboni' so he can answer with 'we're sort of on thin ice' — immediately backs off calling it too on-the-nose

Michael:Michael to Laurie the handler: 'Thank you, and please call me... continue to call me Mr. Scott.'

Michael:Michael's ice joke setup: 'Say your name is Zamboni and I will say... we're sort of on thin ice.' / 'I won't say that, I'll say something like that.'

Michael:Michael meets the former congressman: 'Your eminence.' — treating a congressman like the Pope

Jim:Jim struggles to get to a microphone at the shareholder meeting: 'Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.' then 'H, h, damn it. What... Okay.' — clearly physically frustrated

Jim:Jim talking head: 'I was hoping to lob Michael a softball question early. I wanted to swing by the garment district and pick up a few crates of my shirts. I got a shirt guy.'

Oscar · Shareholder:Oscar: 'I just want to take those stupid board of directors by their necks.' Shareholder: 'You should do that, get in line.' Oscar: 'Oh, what a great idea and lose my job. No, thank you.'

Shareholder · Dwight:Shareholder: 'Don't you wanna be able to tell your grandkids you stood up for yourself during America's biggest financial crisis?' Another shareholder on Oscar: 'How is he gonna have grandkids?'

Andy · Security Guards:Andy trying to chat up the Secret Service agents: 'You guys ever protect the president?' / 'No.' / 'What about Madonna? Obama twins? Anybody famous?' / 'Not supposed to talk about it.' / '...Nelly Furtado.'

Shareholders · CEO:The shareholders boo when the CEO walks on stage

Michael:Michael talking head: 'This is not as much fun as I thought it would be. It was fun when we weren't on the brink of bankruptcy.'

Shareholder · Woman in line:Shareholder tries to save his place in line to go to the bathroom. Woman ahead: 'Oh, I'm sorry, were you raised in a household with no consequences?'

CEO · Michael:CEO introduces Michael Scott to the hostile crowd as a bright spot — shareholders' anger pivots to polite applause for a moment

Jim · Phyllis:Jim confronts Phyllis about a two-hour lunch. Phyllis: 'Oh, it's okay, Michael doesn't really care about these things.' Jim: 'I care about 'em and I'm just as much of a boss as Michael.'

Jim · Phyllis · Ryan:Jim asks 'What's so funny?' about being co-manager. Phyllis reveals he can't fire people. Jim asks who told them. Various people point to Ryan. Ryan: 'Sorry, I'm plastered.'

Office Staff · Jim:Jim asks who heard it from Ryan. 'Does an email count?' 'Yes.' 'Then yeah.'

Jim · Pam · Office Staff:Jim asks: 'Who here believes that I have as much power as Michael?' — long pause — Pam finally raises her hand very slowly

Pam:Pam's talking head after the hand-raise: 'I forgot I have to support him no matter what. Close one.'

Dwight:Shareholder talking head about the meeting: 'These questions are bush league. You should get up and say something.' Dwight's backstory: organized a 500-student SAT walkout in high school, then chickened out and got a 1220.

Michael:Michael interrupts the shareholder meeting defense to vouch for the board: 'They invited me to their hospitality suite where I had free food, and it was delicious.'

Michael · Shareholders:Michael mentions the limo to the hostile crowd of shareholders: 'They sent a stretch limo all the way to pick me up in Scranton.' Crowd: 'You're all corrupt. You should be in jail!'

Michael · Shareholders:Michael: 'They sent a stretch limo all the way to pick me up in Scranton.' — crowd reacts with renewed fury

Shareholder · Unknown:Shareholder at the mic: 'Do you love her, or do you love the idea of her?' Another person: 'I don't know, man. I just don't know.'

Jim · Dwight:Jim and Dwight B-plot: Jim asks if he should fire Ryan. Dwight: 'Can you actually fire people?' Jim: 'To be honest, I don't know.'

Jim · Dwight:Dwight: 'Well, I can't really imagine you yelling at anyone.' Jim: 'Oh, I yell. You've heard me yell.' Dwight: 'Okay, I've heard you exclaim. Like the time you said Hey look, we parked over here.' Jim: 'Well, that was apple picking day. There's no need to yell that day.'

Michael:Michael, backed into a corner during the meeting break, improvises: 'We're gonna come back with a plan. It's a 45-day plan. 45 days to get us back on track.'

Michael:Michael improvises the '45-day, 45-point plan' — one point per day — 'We get 45 points, we're back in business.'

Michael:'And you can take that to the bank. And limo lady, we are going completely carbon neutral.'

Michael:Michael ends his improvised speech with 'I love you, New York!' and pumps his fist

Ryan:Ryan's excuse for not doing data entry: 'I'm such a perfectionist that I'd kinda rather not do it at all than do a crappy version.'

Jim · Ryan:Jim's approach to Ryan's distraction: 'I think I know the problem. I think you seem distracted.' / Ryan: 'Yep, that is the problem.' / Jim: 'And you know what, I came up with something and I think it's really gonna help.' — then reveals Ryan's 'new office' (a closet or storage room)

Jim · Ryan:Jim's solution to Ryan's distraction: he gives Ryan a tiny office (closet). 'Your new office. How great is that, right? For a job well done.' Ryan: 'Well... not done.'

Michael:Michael describes Oscar before calling him: 'I know a guy... this Mexican guy. Is a math whiz, he knows economics as well as he knows bullfighting.'

Ryan:Ryan in his tiny new office: 'Is there internet?'

Michael · Oscar:Michael presents Oscar to the board: 'This is Oscar Martinez, accountant extraordinaire... he has a wonderful idea as to how to get us out of this murky murky situation. Take it away.' — Oscar has no idea what Michael has promised

Michael · Oscar:Oscar begins speaking to the board carefully and diplomatically. Michael interrupts: 'That wasn't what you were saying to me.' 'He was much more articulate and that was better.'

Michael · Oscar:After the disastrous Oscar presentation, Michael: 'Wow, man, that was embarrassing. For me.' Oscar: 'For me too.' Michael: 'For you? You embarrassed me.'

Michael:Michael: 'That was a waste of a text.'

Board Member:Board member about Michael: 'He's our best manager? Where's the off button on this moron?'

Michael:Michael defends himself to the board: 'I am not a moron. Time after time, my branch leads in sales. I have personally won over 17 Dundee awards, so I am not a moron. And I'm just trying to help, you know, so you're the moron.'

Michael:Michael's talking head justifying the Dundies: 'Yes, it is a thrill to be honored by one's company. To have the people that you work for stop for a minute and say, 'Wow, great job. That's what it's about.'

Board Member · Michael:Michael tells the board they've revoked his limo: 'Limos are for people who make the company money, not lose millions and have no plan.' Michael mutters: 'The perks... the perks I could take or leave the perks.'

Michael · Scranton Staff:Michael steals the limo — the Scranton crew drives off in it while yelling 'Go, go, go!' and the CEO watches

Oscar · Michael · Scranton crew:Oscar, Michael, and the Scranton crew steal the limo: 'Oscar! Oscar, come on!' / 'Limos are for people who make the company money, not lose millions and have no plan. So we're leaving early.' / 'Woo-hoo! Go, go, go, go!'

Michael · Scranton Staff:Michael, riding in the stolen limo: 'Did you steal that? After all, we are the only ones with anything to celebrate.' All: 'Scranton, Scranton, Scranton!'

Scranton office staff:Limo pulls away with Scranton staff chanting: 'Scranton! Scranton! Scranton! Dunder Mifflin!'

Dwight:Dwight at the mic: 'Dwight Schrute, Scranton branch. I just want to say that I have been standing in this line all day, and if this line is any indication of how this company is being run, then we are in big trouble!'

Dwight:Dwight's shareholder speech continues: 'What about a take-a-number option, like they have in a deli... What about line varieties? Like an express line, for quick comments of ten words or less... What about ropes along the lines that you can hold on to?'