Michael thinks he impressed Jo only to discover someone else in the office caught her eye. Meanwhile, Dwight makes trouble on Jim's first day back from paternity leave. Andy and Erin have an interesting first date.
WAR
18.4
Wins Above Replacement
“New Leads” ranks #175 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 66.8 — Mixed. The episode packs 49 scored jokes at 2.3 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.1 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight: Oh, you say jesus is king of kings? Well, what does that say to you about how I think of myself?
Dwight Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Okay, just imagine... That instead of going to jail for murdering someone, You got an ice cream cone. If that were the case, then in the summertime, Everyone would go around killing people for--for the pleasure of an ice cream cone.
Michael Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dwight: I hitched my wagon To a horse with no legs.
Dwight Character Comedy Observational Michael: Yeah. Well, sometimes the acorn just stays an acorn. If you don't believe me, look in my gutters.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Observational ★ Rewatch Dwight · Jim: Hey, there is nothing I can do about my wide-set eyes. No, no, no, I'm talking about your personality, dwight!
Dwight Jim Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 49 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Dwight · Jim: Guy in t-shirt and jeans mistaken for Johnny Depp - 'Is it you?' 'I am flattered.'
Dwight · Jim: That's johnny depp. Where'd you take that? In my condo complex. Oh, my god, that's right! I read in people magazine that he was looking for a two-bedroom condo in scranton.
Dwight · Jim: Hey, jim, jim, Where--where do I find the black pearl? Who's that? Captain jack sparrow. captain jack sparrow, jim. John dillinger. No. I'm captain jack sparrow. Captain crunch.
Dwight · Jim: Remember how you felt when you thought you'd seen roger clemens? At the yankees game. Yeah. Well, it wasn't him.
Jim: It also explains why the name on his mailbox was m. Shulman.
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Dwight Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Michael: First up, the lost and found has gone missing. It itself is lost. So please try not to lose anything until we find it.
Andy: You couldn't handle my undivided attention.
Andy Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael: Make friends first, make sales second, make love third... In no particular order.
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Andy: Including the car phone!
Andy Character Comedy Observational Dwight: Oh, you say jesus is king of kings? Well, what does that say to you about how I think of myself?
Dwight Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim · Pam: Honey, if I don't have time to answer an email, I definitely don't have time to walk over to your desk.
Jim Pam Irony/Sarcasm Observational Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Toby · Michael: Honey and jelly sandwich time. You saw who did this, and you didn't stop 'em? Didn't have to see. It was sales--I can feel it.
Toby: The sales department smashed my sandwich. Yes. All of 'em. Together. It's a conspiracy.
Michael · Toby: That's what she said. Yeah. Yeah.
Andy: Hand 'em over, numb nuts. But seriously, I mean, it's your job to give us those leads.
Andy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Not even sabre owns this place. It's a rental.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Observational Michael: Okay, just imagine... That instead of going to jail for murdering someone, You got an ice cream cone. If that were the case, then in the summertime, Everyone would go around killing people for--for the pleasure of an ice cream cone.
Michael Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Gabe: Michael, I don't want to 'incentivize' murder.
Gabe Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Michael: So I am going to give the leads to...King creed. And to king...Meredith! And to king angela. Because today we are all kings. And queens.
Michael Absurdist Escalation Character Comedy Michael · Sales Team: So I am going to give the leads to...King creed. And to king...Meredith! They aren't sales people. And to king angela. Because today we are all kings. And queens.
Michael: Oh, right. Those are clues. And within each clue is a lesson. You learn a lesson, and then you find a lead.
Michael Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential Michael: Oh, how the tables have turned.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Angela · Stanley: I want to watch the kardashians, okay? I don't want to watch- it's mindless! The kardashians is a good show. Thank you, stanley!
Jim · Pam: 'when arrogant salesmen are mean to my face, A certain manager will go to his moppy place.' He means his mopey place. It's under that street lamp that he thinks was in casablanca.
Jim Pam Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam · Jim · Michael: God, I love you. Today I turned an office crisis Into a teachable moment. A lesser manager would have screwed this day up royally.
Michael: Yeah. I basically wish you were dead.
Michael Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Jim: I hid the leads. where? Colder. Cold...Er. Warmer. Colder. Colder. C-- Warmer. Warmer... Hot! Hotter... Burning hot! Lower... Are you-- lower... Are you sure? Low...Er...
Dwight: The prankster is getting pranked. Ha ha.
Dwight Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dwight · Kevin · Meredith · Jim: Where are they? They're in the trash. They're in the trash. the trash. It's code. All right, meredith. Take off your dress. Okey-dokey. No. Dear god, no. It's in the trash can.
Kevin: If we don't patronize The only syrian restaurant in town, There'll be nothing left but pan pizzas And, you know... Make your own salads.
Kevin Character Comedy Observational Kevin: Tonight is ghost whisperer... So Friday.
Kevin Character Comedy Observational Michael: Michael's elaborate dump trip proposal ending with 'more pizza, call it a night'
Michael: Yeah. Well, sometimes the acorn just stays an acorn. If you don't believe me, look in my gutters.
Michael Deadpan/Understatement Observational ★ Rewatch Angela · Jim: Don't use your cute baby to make us like you. She's wearing a onesie. stop it.
Andy: I mean, a lot of their work can be done from india.
Andy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Dwight · Jim: Hey, there is nothing I can do about my wide-set eyes. No, no, no, I'm talking about your personality, dwight!
Dwight Jim Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: I would be number two right now at a home depot! 'cause they promote from within!
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation Dwight: I hitched my wagon To a horse with no legs.
Dwight Character Comedy Observational Dwight · Jim: Kung fu movies! I--you know what I should have been doing? I should have been out at bars finding my soul mate, Finding my wife, making babies. Nice babies you're making with the floozies at the bars!
Dwight · Jim: That's my wife you're talking about, man! Your made-up wife who doesn't exist?
Andy: Erin just texted me back. 'people love shells from faraway beaches.'
Andy Character Comedy Absurdist Michael: No other animal on earth could do this. Maybe beavers... But not like this.
Michael Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim · Stanley: ...2% milk! What I forgot for the coffee. Yeah, treats, stanley. They've accepted Our simple offer of treats only, nothing more.
Michael: Just this whole dump, And in the middle, one flower. And the caption would read... Hope... Grows... In a dump.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Angela · Dwight: Eech! I'm never gonna sit on that disgusting seat. Yeah, damn right, you're not, 'cause it's for me and michael only!
Michael: You're the nicest person I've ever met.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Office
