Michael is driving to New York with Jan where he is going to speak at her deposition. Jan is suing Dunder Mifflin for four million dollars over her wrongful termination. Michael is excited to testify and has memorized every answer Jan told him to.
WAR
106.6
Wins Above Replacement
“The Deposition” ranks #5 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 94.9 — Elite. The episode packs 72 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.4 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Lawyer · Michael: I have one more question, Mr. Scott. Wouldn't you agree with Ms. Levinson that the company exhibits a pattern of disrespect toward its employees? / [long silence] / Absolutely not.
Lawyer · David Wallace (deposition read-aloud): Counsel: 'Was he your first choice?' David Wallace: 'Michael Scott is a fine employee who has been with the company many years.' Counsel: 'Was he in the top five of contenders?' David Wallace: 'What do you want me to say? Come on, he's a nice guy. There were many people that I considered.' Counsel: 'Was he being seriously considered for the corporate job?' David Wallace: 'No.'
Michael · David Wallace: Hey, David? Yeah? I think you're a nice guy, too. Thanks, Michael.
Lawyer · Michael's diary (read aloud): "Just got back from Jamaica, tan almost everywhere." "Jan, almost everywhere. Hee, hee." "Oh, Diary, what a week." "I had sex with my boss. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere."
Lawyer · Michael's diary (read aloud): "Jan was very specific that this is not going anywhere, that it was a onetime mistake." "But we had sex six times, so you tell me."
Standout Moments
Lawyer · David Wallace (deposition read-aloud): Counsel: 'Was he your first choice?' David Wallace: 'Michael Scott is a fine employee who has been with the company many years.' Counsel: 'Was he in the top five of contenders?' David Wallace: 'What do you want me to say? Come on, he's a nice guy. There were many people that I considered.' Counsel: 'Was he being seriously considered for the corporate job?' David Wallace: 'No.'
Lawyer · Michael: I have one more question, Mr. Scott. Wouldn't you agree with Ms. Levinson that the company exhibits a pattern of disrespect toward its employees? / [long silence] / Absolutely not.
Michael · David Wallace: Hey, David? Yeah? I think you're a nice guy, too. Thanks, Michael.
All Jokes — 72 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Pam: Every time Michael's in a meeting, he makes me come in and give him a Post-it note telling him who's on the phone. I did it once and he freaked out. He loved it so much.
Pam Character Comedy Observational Pam: The thing is he doesn't get that many calls. So he has me make them up every 10 minutes.
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Michael · Ryan: No. Money isn't everything, Ryan. And you're my friend, and I don't want to be rude. / Take the call, friend. I refuse.
Michael: The company fired her for having the courage to augment her boobs.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: "Pat-turn." My friend Pat took a turn. That's how I remember that.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: "Dis-ray." My friend Dis Ray got new specs.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: My friend In-A-Pro drives a Prius with his behind neighbor.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Jan's lawyer: Does this work for you? Yep.
Michael · Jan: Tell them how much you're going to get if you win. Come on, Michael, that's tacky. Million dollars. 4 million. $4 million! Man, that is a lot of guacamole! Lot of the green. Lot of green.
Michael: That is why I have memorized Jan's answers and I've also thrown in some 'er's' and 'ah's' just to make it seem like it's not memorized. Perfect crime!
Michael · Schneider: Hey, Schneider, real quick, what do you call a buttload of lawyers driving off a cliff? A good start. And I think it's 'busload.' Yeah, a bunch of rich lawyers took the bus.
Dunder Mifflin lawyer · Michael: We just want to be sure that you won't do anything to hurt us with your testimony. Do you understand? Abso-fruitly.
Darryl: Game, son! All right, let's run it back.
Darryl Character Comedy Reaction Beat Pam: The warehouse got a Ping-Pong table last week. Now Jim comes down and plays with Darryl. Sometimes I bring him juice. My boyfriend is 12.
Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Kelly · Jim: What has two skinny chicken legs and sucks at Ping-Pong? Hi, Kelly. Guess whose boyfriend it is? I don't want to guess. I'll give you a hint, it's not my boyfriend.
Kelly: I don't talk trash. I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical, like, 'Your mama's so fat she could eat the Internet.' But smack talk is happening, like, right now. Like, 'You're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there.'
Kelly Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Pam: Okay, it's not regulation size, but it'll do. You have to practice. You have to get really good and beat Darryl.
Pam Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kelly: Your boyfriend is so weak, he needs steroids just to watch baseball. Jim couldn't hit a Ping-Pong ball if it was the size of the moon. Were Jim's parents first cousins that were also bad at Ping-Pong?
Kelly Character Comedy Escalation Callback Michael · Toby: Toby? Are you renewing your divorce vows before my deposition? Michael, I'm your HR rep. I'm on your side. Never. I want him gone. I don't talk until he leaves.
Jan: People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at, like ice-skating. He is a very good ice-skater.
Jan Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Pam · Kevin: Hey, Kevin, Jim needs to see you. About what? He needs help balancing some travel receipts. Are you sure he wants me? Because I have Oscar balance my travel receipts. Yeah, no, he asked for you specifically. He's in the conference room.
Kevin: Kevin enters the conference room and sees the tiny Ping-Pong table — his face lights up: 'Awesome!'
Kevin Reaction Beat Visual Gag Kevin: Awesome! [Kevin arrives at the Ping-Pong table, clearly having been tricked]
Kevin Reaction Beat Visual Gag Callback Michael · Lawyer: How long have you known the plaintiff? I haven't actually seen it, but I have seen The Firm and I'm planning on renting The Pelican Brief.
Lawyer · Michael: And you were directly under her the entire time? That's what she said.
Michael: Come again? That's what she said? ... Well, delivery's all wrong. She's butchering it.
Michael Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Lawyer · Michael: Did Ms. Levinson ever say why she thought she was being fired? She thought it had to do with the twins. That's what I call them.
Lawyer · Michael: Could you be more specific. Who are the twins? To be delicate, they hang off milady's chest. They make milk.
Lawyer Michael Character Comedy Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Yes. And frankly, the timing was nothing short of predominant.
Michael Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Michael: Because before we started dating, we disclosed our relationship to HR. And I have the proof right here. [long pause as Michael fumbles for document]
Michael Character Comedy Awkward Silence Michael: If it's from the first time we kissed, it's, like, two years ago. Excuse me? If it was from the first time we kissed sober, it was, like, four months after that.
Michael Character Comedy Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael · Jan's lawyer: Line. I'm sorry, what? He asked for a line, like in a play.
Michael · Lawyer: "Mr. Scott, do you realize you just contradicted yourself?" "I did." "Yes, you did." "Can I go to the bathroom?" "No." "I really have to. I've been drinking lots of water." "You went five minutes ago." "That wasn't to go to the bathroom, that was to get out of a question." "You still have to answer it." "First, can I go to the bathroom?" "No."
Michael Lawyer Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim · Meredith: Good game, Meredith. Don't patronize me.
Dwight: All of my heroes are table-tennis players. Zoran Primorac, Jan-Ove Waldner, Wang Tao, Joerg Rosskopf and, of course, Ashraf Helmy. I even have a life-sized poster of Hugo Hoyama on my wall. And the first time I left Pennsylvania was to go to the Hall of Fame induction ceremony of Andrzej Grubba.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Jan and I had an on-again/off-again relationship for two years. And I know this destroys her case and I am sorry, but I throw myself at the mercy of the deposition.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael · Lawyer: What are you doing with my diary? / This is plaintiff's exhibit 107.
Lawyer · Michael's diary (read aloud): "Just got back from Jamaica, tan almost everywhere." "Jan, almost everywhere. Hee, hee." "Oh, Diary, what a week." "I had sex with my boss. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere."
Lawyer · Michael's diary (read aloud): "Jan was very specific that this is not going anywhere, that it was a onetime mistake." "But we had sex six times, so you tell me."
Lawyer · Michael: "I am definitely feeling very eerie." Irie. Irie. Sorry.
Lawyer · Michael's diary (read aloud): "More tomorrow. X-O-X-O, Michael."
Michael · Lawyer · Jan's lawyer: I don't think anyone in this room has a right to read my diary. / It's basic discovery. We have the right to review it. / Okay, let's make 10 copies of this diary. / Could you make it 11? / Eleven. Sure.
Michael · Toby: Toby silently walks over to sit with Michael during the lunch break — Michael sees him and moves away without a word.
Michael Toby Reaction Beat Running Gag Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Callback Toby: You know, I know a little bit about what you're going through in a way. When I was a kid, my parents got divorced. They both wanted custody and they both asked me to testify against the other one in court... I love them both so much. I just wanted...
Toby Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Jan: How could you give up my diary like that? / I had to. I'm sorry, but I need to win this. / How did you even find it? / You keep it under my side of the mattress. I don't like the lump.
Jan: All right, I stole your diary and gave it to my lawyer. You e-mailed a topless photo of me to everyone in our company. Let's call it even.
Jan Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Michael · Jan: Fine. I love you. I love you, too.
Lawyer · Michael: Mr. Scott, who is this other woman, Ryan, who you refer to here as 'Just as hot as Jan, but in a different way.' / Not a woman, just a cool, great-looking, best friend.
Michael: Not a woman, just a cool, great-looking, best friend.
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Michael: All right, this is the way I see it. Yes, I had sex with Jan and, yes, I did consider Jan to be my girlfriend. However, Jan clearly did not consider me to be her boyfriend. So her actions are completely rightful.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lawyer · Michael: It's admirable the way you defend a woman who is so obviously ambivalent about her relationship with you. / Thank you very much. You didn't have to say that.
Michael: She was going through a divorce. And she was drinking a lot. / Okay. / Of water.
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Lawyer · Jan's performance review (read aloud): "I am out of carrots. I am out of sticks. Mr. Scott has time and again proven himself to be an unmanageable employee and a poor branch manager. I recommend he be removed from that position and reassigned to sales where he belongs."
Michael: Michael reads the devastating performance review — then a long silence as the camera holds on his face.
Michael Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Pam · Dwight: How's it going? / Well, he has gone from completely hopeless to simply miserable.
Pam Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Jim · Dwight: Check this out, though. Spin serve. Works, like, 80% of the time, so... / Nice.
Jim Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jim · Pam: Wait a minute, Darryl is the client? / No, no, no, he works here, dumb ass!
Jim Pam Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Jan's lawyer: Michael, I am very sorry. We never meant for you to get caught in the middle of this.
Michael: Dunder Mifflin has always treated me with the utmost respect, with loyalty. / They were going to give me your job, and I should have taken it.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lester (reading) · Michael: Counsel: 'Mr. Wallace, regarding Michael Scott, was he a contender to replace Jan Levinson?' David Wallace: 'Yes.' [Michael reacts] 'See? I was number-one contender. I was being groomed.'
Jim · Darryl: Yes! Way to go! See that? / Yeah. The floppy-haired girl you date won a point. Nineteen serving four.
Jim Darryl Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Kelly: Hey, hey, you, you / I don't like your boyfriend / 'Cause, 'cause, 'cause, 'cause / 'Cause he sucks at Ping-Pong
Kelly Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Pam · Kelly: You know what? I'm sick of this. Let's go. You and me! / What? / Let's go! Pick up a paddle. / Okay. Bring it on. I am. / You think you can handle this? / In my sleep.
Pam Kelly Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Pam · Kelly: Volley for serve. 'P.' 'O.' 'P.' 'O.'... Do you want to go play on the table upstairs? 'P.' 'O.' Yes.
Pam Kelly Character Comedy Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Jan said that it was because of the photo that she revealed the diary. But she already brought the diary with her to New York. So...
Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: You expect to get screwed by your company, but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Jan: What do you want to do for dinner? / How about Chinese? / We should really try to save some money. How about something cheap? / That was my cheap suggestion. Chinese was my cheap suggestion.
Jim · Pam: What do you want to do for dinner? How about Chinese? We should really try to save some money. How about something cheap? That was my cheap suggestion. Chinese was my cheap suggestion.
Jim Pam Character Comedy Observational Michael · Jan: Can you do fast food? / Fine. / Fast food's fine.
Michael Jan Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Top Episodes — The Office
