Product Recall

Andy · Pam:Drew. I'm Drew now. / Oh, Drew. Sorry. / Apology not accepted. / Because it wasn't even necessary in the first place.

Andy:new techniques for dealing with the grumpies

Jim · Andy:No, I'm not gonna call you that. / Cool. / I can't control what you do. I can only control what I do.

Dwight:It's like slapping someone with silence.

Dwight:I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.

Jim · Andy · Dwight:Andy, Dwight says welcome back and that he could use a hug. / Tell him that that's not true. / Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks.

Dwight · Jim:Tell him that bears can climb faster than they can run. / Jim, tell him! / Andy... No, it's too far. / Damn you.

Michael:if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity

Michael · Madge:Pudge has driven the forklift. / Madge. / I thought your name was Pudge. / No. It's always been Madge.

Darryl · Michael:Her? Yes, 'Her' is qualified to work a dangerous machine. You are not.

Michael:Hey, Darryl, how's it hanging?

Michael:Bale 'er? I hardly know her.

Michael:Ever since March Madness ended, I am so bored.

Michael · Darryl:It's a big red trash compactor. / It's not a trash compactor! / It's very dangerous, okay. / Don't disrespect a baler, Mike.

Michael:Toby now has the floor and he is going to try not to screw this up like everything else in his life. / Let me rephrase that. / I believe that you can do safety training and make it sound just as good as Darryl.

Michael · Toby:That's like a half an hour, every hour? / Take them at the same time.

Michael · Toby:Like sometimes computers can explode, can they not? / No. No.

Kevin · Creed:Long johns? / A shawl?

Toby · Oscar:sedimentary lifestyle / Sedentary.

Darryl · Michael:That's called having a fat butt, Michael. / No. No, it's sedentary. / Yeah, that's fat butt disease. / That's what you suffer from? / You have fat butt disease, Michael?

Michael · Kelly:Excuse me, sea monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds. / Yeah? Yeah. / I bet you'd like to swim with this sea monster, wouldn't you?

Darryl:You live a sweet little nerfy life sitting on your biscuit never having to risk it.

Michael:What? So, Nerf isn't cool anymore?

Michael:I worked in a warehouse. Men's Wearhouse. I was a greeter.

Michael:Hello, I'm Michael. Welcome to Men's Wearhouse. We have a special on khaki pants today.

Pam · Jim:He has spent hours up here at reception with you. Hours and hours. / Okay. Okay. / No, constantly. Like for years.

Michael:Nobody commits suicide because they work with a baler.

Michael:and your hair sticks up straight. And you know science.

Michael:Indubitably.

Michael:Depression. Wolves. / Depression.

Michael:A depression quilt. / No time to sew a quilt.

Kevin:Additionally, Pam, you win $10 because she said 'awesome' 12 times. And Jim, you win $5 because she mentioned six romantic comedies.

Michael:Seedless?

Kevin · Creed:Creed is eating an apple. / I found a potato.

Michael:If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, see if he handles hate crimes.

Michael:Have Padge do it or the sea monster.

Dwight · Andy:I need you to acquire an inflatable house and/or castle. / You mean a Moonbounce. / What do you think? You've got an hour.

Andy · Dwight:Do you want a drawbridge? / Un-shun. / Yeah, that sounds good. Re-shun.

Andy:When you land, try and land like an eight-year-old. These bouncy castles are not designed for adults.

Michael:Michael is awesome / Jumping off the roof / Bouncing on a bouncy thing / Show them who is boss / Rip a hole in the sun!

Dwight:Un-shun. I think he's suffering from depression. Re-shun.

Dwight:Un-shun. Never. Re-shun.

Angela · Jim:Will I be too warm in a long-sleeved tee? / Everyone's going to be fine in exactly what they're wearing! Let's go!

Dwight · Michael:Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? / Dwight, you ignorant slut.

Kevin:If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude.

Michael:Dwight, you ignorant slut!

Creed:Well, you know, the first performance was a little off, but I really think they hit their stride in the second show. I might even bring my parents tomorrow to the matinee.

Ryan · Kelly · Jim:Hey, check it out, there's a castle over there. / Oh, my God, there is a castle. / No. There's nothing to see over there, people. There's nothing to see.

Dwight · Michael:They found the castle, Michael. / Damn it!

Jim:He's going to kill himself pretending to kill himself.

Jim:Hey, Michael, don't jump on the bouncy castle. You can't do that 'cause you're going to get horribly, horribly injured.

Dwight · Pam:A Repliee-Q-One-Expo female robot. They're only available in Japan. / Dwight, you are such a liar.

Michael · Darryl:You told me that I lead a... A cushy, wimpy Nerf life. / Yeah. / But I never said you had nothing to live for.

Michael:The sex isn't nearly as good as it used to be.

Darryl:Mike, you're a very brave man. I mean it takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every single day, knowing full well you got to be you.

Darryl · Michael:I couldn't do it. I ain't that strong and I ain't that brave. / I'm braver than you? / Way braver. / You Braveheart, man. / I Braveheart. I am.

Michael:Am I a hero? I really can't say, but yes.