Cafe Disco

Dwight:Oh, my God. I can't believe it. I just won an art contest.

Dwight · Jim:I got her. Not cool, Dwight. Not cool, man.

Michael:I still have the lease on the Michael Scott Paper Company, so occasionally, I will sneak down here for a little coffee and dancing.

Michael:I actually dance all the time.

Michael:Tip-toeing around corporate, it is a ballet. When I am breaking all the rules, I'm break dancing.

Michael:Guys, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I think I'm growing into a giant, because look at this normal-sized coffee cup. Looks so tiny in my giant hand now.

Michael · Kevin · Pam:Anybody want to go to lunch with me later on? I do. Okay, how about a woman? Pam? / I can't do lunch. I was just sending you an e-mail.

Michael:At Dunder Mifflin, there is a very strict no-lunch-with-the-boss policy, and I don't know who instituted it.

Michael:I think it started right after my predecessor stepped down. But at the Michael Scott Paper Company, I really enjoyed having lunch with Pam and Ryan every day. So, rules be damned, I want to have lunch with these people.

Ryan:I don't do lunch. I'm doing five small meals a day now. Now that I'm back to doing the job of a temp again, I find that food is one thing I can control.

Michael:Accounting, I am a-counting on you to go to lunch with me.

Michael:God. What happened to you people? 'We are just office drones.' 'We are office drones. All we do is work. Is work.'

Oscar:If you don't take out his battery, he just keeps going all day.

Michael:Oh, no, your battery fell out. 'I was just learning to love.'

Dwight · Erin:Erin, how many times do I have to tell you? It is not necessary for you to ask us how we are doing every time you interact with us. You're right. I'm sorry. Now, how can I help you?

Dwight:Attention, office. Who here is planning a trip to Youngstown, Ohio?

Dwight:I will take your silence to mean that you are all hiding something.

Dwight:...there's only a handful of reasons why someone would ever go to a courthouse in Ohio and not be charged with a crime. Claim an inheritance from a deceased relative, to obtain a learner's permit at age 14½ instead of 15.

Dwight · Erin:Erin, let me see your birth certificate.

Andy:You know what I want to do today? I want to marry you.

Erin:I had just woken up. I didn't look cute.

Kevin:That's how I knew he meant it.

Michael:Lock's broken, so...

Michael:Gotta keep yourself dehydrated. That's rule number one.

Michael:Guys, I believe that I have figured out what is up your butts. There's no reason to be scared. The bad man is gone. Charles is gone.

Michael:When I was in charge, this place was like Dave & Buster's, people just hanging out, having fun, eating apps.

Michael:I don't know, it's like Dave died or something.

Michael · Oscar:Daddy's here, and Daddy is going to take care of you. Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.

Michael:I am your big daddy, and I am going to kiss the boo-boo. Little Andy is afraid.

Michael · unnamed character:What? Funk is the problem, and the solution. That makes sense.

Michael:a place where unattractive and attractive people can get together, to meet, to greet, to see the ones that you love, to love the ones that you see.

Oscar · Michael:Is this our punishment for not wanting to have lunch with you? Why don't you get over lunch, Oscar? Everybody else is past it.

Dwight:All work and no play makes Michael a dull boy. This is like a haunted coffee house thing?

Michael:Why don't you get over lunch, Oscar? Everybody else is past it.

Michael:It's like a haunted disco. With coffee, but without the haunting.

Michael · unnamed character:It is a daytime disco on the ground floor of an industrial office building. It's a Cafe Disco. Exactly. Like a disco-cafe. What? No. No. Not even close.

Michael · Unknown:Michael: 'Like a disco-cafe.' Someone: 'What? No. No. Not even close.'

Michael:I'm going to be down there. Erin will be down there from time to time, and all-you-can-eat espresso.

Michael · Kevin:Well, Kevin, I guess it is just me and you. Yeah. Holding down the fort.

Michael · Kevin:This is a no-work zone. Please respect the lei. Yeah, respect the lei.

Phyllis · Michael · Kevin:Kevin, come. Kevin, stay. Kevin, come. Kevin, stay. Kevin, come. Stay, stay. Come on, right now. Cookie, Kevin. Cookie. There is no cookie, Kevin. Is there a cookie? Mmm-hmm. Come on. For goodness sakes, Kevin, there's no cookie. There's no cookie. Come on. Come. I wanted a cookie.

Michael:Completely unacceptable. Now I know what the founders of Philip Morris felt like. You just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax, and suddenly, you're just some terrible monster.

Michael:Tell him I'm going dancing downstairs in the storage closet between the bathrooms that used to be a utility shower, and he should join me there.

Michael · Phyllis:Michael dancing with Phyllis in Cafe Disco — the two of them actually moving and enjoying themselves in the dingy space

Phyllis:Phyllis throws her back out while dancing enthusiastically in Cafe Disco

Bob Vance:Hey, hey, hey, hey. I got your text. Who's Phillip? No, no, no. Who tipped you over? Was it Phillip?

Dwight · Michael:Yeah, back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries, but more common than wrist injuries. I don't need a history lesson, okay? What do you think history is?

Michael:We need to get her out of there because no one is going to want to go in there with a woman writhing around on the floor.

Michael · Dwight:Ramming speed. Okay, out of the way. Move it or lose it. Oh, my God, what happened? You having fun taking a little ride?

Dwight:What? No, I thought we were going to the hospital. If you want to get sick, you go to a hospital.

Michael:She's a tough old bird, so...

Angela:I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense.

Michael:You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.

Creed · unnamed:Cafe Disco? More like crappy disco. You're bad.

Kevin · unnamed male:There's girls in there. Where? The other room. What other room? Down the hall. There's girls there? What did I just say? You bring my sandwich? Forget the sandwich. Girls. Girls.

Michael:I guess they got what they want. I am eating alone. Might as well be dinner.

Dwight:Come on, relax. This shirt wasn't doing you any favors.

Dwight · Phyllis · Angela:If my assessment is correct, you grind your teeth? I do. No kidding. She sits three feet from me. It's the most annoying thing. It's like children singing Christmas carols.

unnamed male (Kevin or Andy):I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure I'm in a dance-off.

Michael · Kevin:Cafe Disco is dead, but I can still hear the music in my head. I hear it, too, boss.

Michael:One signature for every song.

Michael:If these walls could talk, they would say, 'This is a magical place. You're safe here.' 'We are talking walls. We're not going to eat you.'

Dwight:This is oil from the gland of an otter. It keeps their fur water resistant, as well as traps heat. Now, I need you to lie still for an hour.

Creed:Boss, this used to hang from my windshield, but it belongs in here.

Dwight · Phyllis:I'm going to go with the python. But the rattler's so scary. No, please, I find the rattle soothing. Puts me to sleep.

Phyllis:I think Bob's going to cheat on me with his new secretary.

Michael · Angela:Hey, hey, Angela, no. No cleaning up. You are forcing me to be down here. Am I not allowed to have some fun?

Jim · Dwight:Want to dance, Dwight? Ordinarily, I would say no, but you need to move to reduce lactic acid buildup. Also, this song is fantastic.

Jim · Dwight:Mind if I steal my wife? You can't steal what is legally your property.

unnamed dancer · unnamed character:This dance competition is not over. What dance competition? I was just dancing casually with my friend, y'all.

Michael:Hey, come on, man. We're not even to 'Y.'

Andy · his fiancée:This is so cheesy. Yes. I like cheesy. Me, too.

Andy's fiancée · Andy:You know, I think maybe I want a wedding wedding. Me, too. Really? Yeah.

Michael · Angela:Would you like to dance? No.

Andy · Dwight:Are you sure that's not the gay ear? Gay ear? Are you 12 years old?

Andy · Dwight:Son of a bitch! Andy, that was just the ice. It was? Yeah, it was.