Casual Friday

Kevin:Kevin's Famous Chili talking-head monologue — earnest, detailed description of his chili-making process, delivered with complete sincerity

Kevin:'I toast my own Ancho chilies.' (moaning with pleasure)

Kevin:'It's a recipe passed down from Malones for generations.'

Michael:Michael's theatrical return announcement: 'He started his own company, and now he's back. Who could it be? I'll give you a hint. He is a man.'

Michael:'It's Michael Scott.' — Michael reveals himself as the grand returnee he's been building up

Michael:Michael invites the staff to 'say whatever they want' in the meeting, then immediately shuts down the first complaint with 'Take it up with Toby'

Michael:Michael's confessional about wanting an apology: 'Am I going to ask them to slit their wrists for me? No. I just want a tiny, microscopic version of that.'

Michael · Dwight:Michael tells Dwight the complaint department is 'a trashcan'

Michael:Michael winks at camera/audience after shutting down Dwight: 'Don't fall in love with me, kid.'

Phyllis:'Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout.'

Angela · Oscar:Mose wearing sandals to work — 'The man is wearing sandals. I don't need to see Oscar's toes at work. Gross.'

Toby:Toby's confessional about why he's in HR — he dropped out of seminary to have sex with a girl named Kathy, followed her to Scranton, she divorced him

Ryan · Michael:Ryan distributes memos written in invisible ink — 'Fresh, hot ink.'

Dwight · Stanley:Stanley is warned to 'heat my words' — Dwight's Freudian slip for 'heed my words,' which turns out to be literally correct because the memos require heat to reveal the message

Andy · Oscar:Andy offers to loan Oscar socks he was going to wear to volleyball practice

Dwight · Andy:Andy's plan to embed a secret code in the memo — but Andy has already reorganized all his files in reverse alphabetical order before realizing it's a hidden message

Andy:'It is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.'

Dwight:Dwight accuses Michael and Pam of 'having a thing' while they were gone

Stanley:Stanley: 'You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. No offense, Jim. I think she's very pretty. Her face is okay, but...'

Creed:Creed appears in the warehouse with no explanation: 'I saw a crowd. Thought there might be a dog fight.'

Dwight · Andy · Stanley · Jim:Warehouse mutiny planning: suggestion escalates from 'coup' to 'taking Ryan hostage' to 'strongly worded letter' to 'strongly painted picture'

Dwight:Dwight proposes 'a coup, or we take Ryan hostage.' Then: 'I'm not saying we do those things. I'm saying something like those things.'

Dwight:Dwight whispering 'now is the time for action' after the group has already agreed to Jim's peaceful resolution

Michael:Michael: 'I am not to be truffled with.'

Michael · Ryan:Michael praises Ryan and Pam for 'having the stones' to follow him, then the Chiklis/Commish/Shield debate

Jim · Toby · Creed:Jim and Toby hiding out playing chess with Creed in the middle of the office crisis

Michael · Stanley · Ryan · Pam · Andy · Dwight:Michael cross-examines the salespeople about their lunch — Stanley's detailed salmon salad order — then uses it to steal their lunches

Michael · Ryan · Dwight · Andy:Michael and Ryan eating stolen office lunches — including Dwight's pony meat sandwich

Meredith · Michael · Toby · Oscar:Meredith's progressive Casual Friday violations — skirt riding up, then boob out, then no panties

Dwight:Dwight reveals his meat sandwich: 'It's pony.'

Jim:Jim's confessional: 'I'm just hiding out until all this stuff blows over, with Creed, playing chess, at work. He's winning. I feel like I'm describing a dream I had.'

Kelly · Pam · Angela · Oscar · Toby:The office staff forms a chaotic line outside Toby's door, each mimicking his 'if you do this, I'll do that' dress code negotiation gestures

Jim:Jim's confessional button: 'I feel like I'm describing a dream I had.'

Ryan · Dwight · Jim:Ryan vs. Dwight phone battle over client Mr. Bart — both talking over each other on the same call

Dwight · Ryan:'You're a secretary! What do you know?' / 'And you're a temp! And I'm taking your phone. I'm confiscating this!'

Michael · Dwight · Stanley · Andy:Michael's response to the threat of a salesperson walkout: 'I love it! I love this idea, and I fully support you. As a matter of fact, I'm going to give you some seed money.'

Dwight:The Schrute-Bernard-Lapin-Vance-Stanley Paper Company name

Michael:Michael's confessional: 'No matter how I look at this, I am in the wrong. And I have looked at this thing like 100 different ways, from my point of view, from their point of view, 98 others, and bottom line, I am in the wrong.'

Dwight · Michael:Dwight's method for arranging a secret meeting: 'Gasp. Are you talking about a secret meeting?'

Jim · Michael:Jim: 'Deceit does not come easy to me.' [Michael gives him an incredulous look] 'Okay, okay, okay.'

Kelly · Meredith:Kelly telling Meredith she looks like J-Lo in the inappropriate outfit

Michael · Phyllis · Stanley:Michael offers 'complimentary white chocolate bark' as part of his apology; the staff dismisses it: 'Nobody likes that stuff, except for you.' / 'They wouldn't make it unless people liked it.'

Michael:Michael rescinds his apology once he gives the clients back: 'However, I rescind my apology.'

Michael:Michael asks what's happening with what is apparently a pillow fort in the warehouse: 'What did I tell you about building forts in my warehouse?'

Ryan · Pam:Ryan and Pam compete graciously for the sales job by recommending each other to Michael

Stanley · Jim:Jim is asked about setting up with Stanley's daughter: 'So, hey, I want to set you up with my daughter.' / 'Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.' / 'I thought you were gay.' / 'Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?' / 'I don't know.'

Stanley · Jim:Stanley tries to set Jim up with his daughter, thinking Jim is gay

Jim · Creed:Jim and Creed playing chess; Jim calls 'Challenge' over what appears to be a chess move, then: 'And Bingo was his name-o'

Michael · Jim:Michael's pros and cons list for Ryan vs. Pam — Ryan's pros include 'I like his hair' and 'environmentally conscious because his mom drives him to work'

Michael · Jim:Michael's con for Pam — 'She has a weird voice. That's not true. I don't need to tell you that.'

Michael · Jim:Michael does an impression of Pam's 'shrill' tired voice demanding her husband take out the garbage and withholding sex

Dwight · Toby:Dwight seizes control of the Casual Friday meeting — 'I'm cowboying this meeting. Earth tones only. Also, women are forbidden to wear pants.'

Dwight · Toby:After Dwight is written up/threatened, he says: 'Hmm. Where's this guy been?' — complimenting Toby's sudden authority

Toby · Dwight:Toby cancels Casual Fridays as 'the solution.' The staff objects that this is 'running from the problem.'

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam she didn't get the job — then immediately reveals he's joking

Michael · Pam:Michael tells Pam she didn't get the job; when she accepts graciously, he reveals he was joking and she got it. Then: 'You should have seen your face.'

Michael · Pam:'Well, there's no easy way of saying this, so I think I will just drag it out. Since the dawn of time, there have been...' Pam: 'Just tell me.'

Michael · Pam · Jim:Michael reveals he also told Ryan he didn't get the job — after telling Ryan he was getting the job — so Ryan experienced both excitement and devastation

Michael · Jim:Michael fake-fires Jim for telling him not to fake-fire people: 'I don't appreciate you telling me what to do, so clean out your desk. You are through.'

Michael · Jim:Michael doesn't know the new receptionist's name — 'What's our receptionist's name? Erin.'

Michael · Hank:Michael calls in Hank the security guard to escort Erin out during the fake-firing.

Michael · Erin:After the fake-fire reveal, Erin sincerely asks: 'Do they not like me, though?' Michael: 'I don't know, actually.'