The Return

Dwight:Dwight's resume breakdown: 'professional resume, athletic and special skills resume, and Dwight Schrute trivia'

Dwight:'There's nothing on my horizon except everything. Everything is on my horizon.'

Andy:Andy has recorded all four parts of 'Rockin' Robin' himself on his computer and set it as his ringtone

Andy:Andy: 'I called it myself. Just thought you'd get a kick out of the new ring.'

Andy · Jim:Andy: 'I'd just like to say I'm thrilled to be working directly beneath you. I feel I have a lot to learn from you, even though you are younger and have less experience.'

Andy:Andy's toast: 'Andy and the Tuna.'

Jim:Jim's reaction beat: silent stare at the camera after 'Andy and the Tuna'

Jim:Jim confessional: 'Congratulations, universe. You win.'

Michael · Oscar:Michael: 'How was your gay-cation?' then immediately: 'I thought of that like two seconds after you left.'

Michael · Oscar:Michael on Dwight leaving: 'Addition by subtraction.' Oscar: 'What does that even mean? That is impossible.'

Michael:Michael: 'Addition by subtraction' / 'Addition by addition' pairing for Dwight leaving and Oscar returning

Michael:Michael: 'I thought of that like two seconds after you left.' — revealing he has been waiting three months to use this pun

Angela · Oscar:Angela's greeting to Oscar: a cold, clipped 'Oscar.' Nothing more.

Andy:Andy's forced casual conversation with Jim: 'TGI Wednesday. Am I right?'

Andy:Andy's itinerary: 'Gonna go home, get my beer on, get my Lost on.'

Andy · Jim:Andy invites Jim to hang out; Jim gives a non-committal 'maybe'; Andy: 'I'll take that as a maybe.'

Andy · Jim:Andy follows Jim to the bathroom by announcing he's going to the kitchen and offering to 'walk with' him

Andy:Andy confessional: 'Things are going pretty good. Getting a lot of face time with the boss.'

Michael · Oscar:Michael asks Oscar to join the party planning committee. Oscar: 'The committee with all the women?' Michael: 'Yeah.' Oscar: 'Because I'm gay.' Michael: 'No, no—'

Michael:Michael's stammering apology: 'certain events...certain things...certain situations...certain accountants'

Andy · Angela:Andy tries to join the party planning committee; Angela: 'Never.'

Andy:Andy's response to a sales win: 'Child's play. Give me something hard to sell.'

Michael · Pam:Michael discovers his desk toys have not been arranged nicely; learns it was Dwight all along who arranged them

Michael:Michael uses 'feel ya, dawg' and then tries to explain that it means 'right on' — and his explanation gets increasingly muddled

Michael:Michael confessional about Andy: 'Love that Andy, right? Solid fellow. Seems smart enough. Likes me a lot. A lot. Too much. Like a crazy person, a little.'

Michael:Michael: 'He's always up in my bid-ness, which is Ebonics for being in my face and annoying the bejesus out of me.'

Michael:Michael: 'I don't understand how someone could have so little self-awareness.'

Oscar:Oscar's party planning: 'I really have no preference. We don't even have to have a party.'

Michael:Michael: 'Your Mexicanness is what defines you, to me, and I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity.'

Michael:Michael instructs Phyllis to 'find firecrackers and a chihuahua' for Oscar's Mexican-themed party

Michael:Michael asks Pam to get chimechangas from the frozen food section (mispronouncing chimichangas)

Oscar · Michael:Oscar: 'Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey, into the office, like Pepe?' Michael: 'Ah, a burro, of course. If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one.'

Dwight:Dwight at a menial retail job: 'Need any help?' 'Oh, no thank you. I'm just looking.' 'Great. I will literally be standing right here if you need anything at all.'

Andy:Andy: 'I think I could go for some tuna fish right about now. Got my rod here.'

Jim · Pam:Jim to Pam: 'I'm the victim, okay? He's fishing for me.'

Jim:Jim explains he can't prank Andy because Dwight's inherited files are password-protected with different mythical creatures

Jim:Jim describes Andy: 'Who's that sportscaster that bit that lady? Marv something? Andy is like Marv something.'

Jim · Ryan:Jim: 'I liked you better as the temp.' Ryan: 'Me too.'

Phyllis:Montage: Phyllis says she and Dwight both have 'big personalities' and it was 'explosive' — then immediately pivots to weather small talk

Dwight:Dwight at the competitor: 'I have snow tires and chains. Plus exceptional hand-eye coordination.'

Dwight:Dwight at his retail job interview: 'Have you heard of paper?' after interviewer says she never heard of Dunder-Mifflin

Dwight:Dwight confessional: 'I don't like him, his giant head, or his beady little eyes. That's all I got to say on the matter.'

Dwight:Dwight sings the Cranberries' 'Zombie' to himself while working at retail

Andy · Jim · Pam:Andy realizes his cell phone is missing and searches desperately while Jim and Pam play innocent

Andy:Andy: 'Large Tuna, have you seen my cell phone device?'

Andy · Jim:The phone is heard ringing from inside the ceiling; Andy: 'Maybe it's in the ceiling.' Jim: 'You know what? Maybe YOU'RE in the ceiling.'

Angela:The phone is hidden in the ceiling; Angela calls it to keep it ringing; she says 'Is everything okay? No.' — a terse exchange that reveals her participation in the prank

Andy · Phyllis:Andy accuses Phyllis: 'I don't trust you, Phyllis.'

Angela:Angela's confessional: reveals Dwight was late because he drove to New York to deliver tax forms Angela forgot to send — but immediately blames Kevin for not reminding her

Angela:Angela: 'Dwight loves this company. Do you think that anyone else out there would've driven to corporate for you? None of them. Especially not Andy.'

Michael · Andy:Michael's Saturday plan monologue: 'you, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football, Cornell/Hofstra, slaughter. Then quick nap at my place, and we hit the tiz-own.'

Andy:Andy, after being told to stop, retreats with: 'Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.'

Andy:Andy's overwrought speech about the phone prank: 'Here's a little newsflash. It's not funny. In fact, it's pretty freakin' unfunny.'

Andy:Andy's confessional after his office speech: 'That was an overreaction.'

Michael:Michael's confessional non-advice: 'Just go with the copy paper. It's your funeral.'

Michael:Michael to Dwight: 'It takes a big man to admit his mistake. And I am that big man.'

Michael:Michael to Dwight: 'It takes a big man to admit his mistake. And I am that big man.'

Dwight:Dwight on his new workplace: 'The boss isn't funny. I don't get to wear my ties.'

Michael · Dwight:Michael: 'I don't want to do your laundry anymore.' Dwight: 'We can talk about that.'

Dwight · Jim · Pam:Dwight crashes through ceiling tiles pursuing his phone — 'That's half-inch drywall. I think we broke his brain.'

Andy:Andy's callback: 'It's not freaking funny.' — echoing his earlier speech, now that someone else is getting pranked

Oscar:Oscar: 'Actually, yeah. I didn't think I would... but it turned out great.'

Michael · Dwight · Angela:Michael introduces Dwight to the office; then: 'Okay, Dwight, you can let go of her hand. You're going to break it.'

Jim · Dwight:Jim asks Dwight: 'Do you still have feelings for her?' — long pause — Dwight: 'Yes.'

Michael:Michael's closing confessional: 'I don't want somebody sucking up to me because they think I'm going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.'