The Boat

Angela:Angela pulls multiple coworkers aside to confess her affair with the Senator, framing it with gravity and requesting 'sensitivity, maturity, and discretion'

Andy:Andy's talking-head about his family's financial meltdown: 'The Nards hurting? Yeah, you bet. Got kicked pretty hard. Family's shattered, supersad. But I'm kind of crushing it in the damage-control department. So, that's cool.'

Andy:'I wish my dad could see me now. Of course, he caused this whole mess, so... [implied expletive] him.'

Kevin:Kevin's response to Angela's heartfelt plea: 'That's beautiful. No, I totally get that.'

Kevin:'That's beautiful. No, I totally get that.' — Kevin responds to Angela's desperate secret-keeping plea

Kevin · Angela:'I really want to. Whatever happens, always remember that.' / 'I don't know what that means.'

Unknown Coworker · Pam:'Yeah, she hosts The Dr. Laura Show.' / 'Nope, that's Dr. Laura.'

Dwight:Dwight bursting forward yelling 'I do! I do! I do I do I do I do!' to volunteer for the radio interview

Dwight:Dwight's talking-head fantasy: imagining people saying 'Ten reams of 40-pound bond at only $6.90 after discount? Whatever you say, Brad Pitt!' as proof that fame sells paper

Meredith · Andy:Meredith, upon hearing Andy's brother is in rehab, immediately asks 'Which place? The one right near Philly? I could be there in an hour.'

Andy · Meredith:'We're done, Meredith.' — Andy shutting down Meredith's follow-up question about how he's holding up

Dwight:Dwight doing a tongue twister ('Greta, the tittle-tattle, prattled on about the little metal bottle...') as vocal warm-up for the radio interview, with increasing absurdity

Darryl:Darryl says 'I worked at a Jiffy Lube' in response to 'Don't you guys have a place where you spent summers and have all those memories?'

Jim · Darryl:Jim's attempt to use Darryl's Jiffy Lube to convince him Andy would feel the same about the boat, and Darryl's immediate rebuttal: 'I would if I owned it and I went broke.'

Jim:'Well, why don't I go and tell Dwight so he can stop being such a complete nipple?'

Pam · Jim:'He's going to be disappointed. Yes, he is. And you know what? We cannot let that happen.'

Erin · Unnamed Coworker:Erin's talking-head: 'This isn't how I would cheer up just anyone, but it's a girlfriend's job to know her man, and I know Andy. He is seriously juvenile.' / 'He's like 40, though, right?' / 'Oh, no. He couldn't be more than, like, thirties, tops.'

Andy:'Help! My teeth are all messed up in my mouth.' — Andy's watermelon-teeth face, apparently a visual gag with fake teeth/watermelon rind, interrupting the radio interview in the background

Angela · Kevin:Angela snapping at Kevin about 1138 forms: 'Well, I don't know why I'm surprised. Literally nothing you could do could surprise me anymore.' / Kevin: 'Oh, really, Angela? That's interesting. Because I do think that I could surprise you.'

Kevin:Kevin pretends to have to go to the bathroom to escape the conversation: 'I have to go to the bathroom!'

Angela · Kevin:Angela's talking-head: 'That actually wasn't the worst cover. I'd say at least once a week Kevin runs out of the room shouting that he has to go to the bathroom. So the supply forms are going to be...' [interrupted by Kevin bursting in yelling 'I have to go to the bathroom!' again]

Andy:'All I ever wanted to do was sail the damn thing. But Dad wouldn't let me. He said, "You can't be a skipper until you're a man." You know, I'd reach for the wheel and he'd just smack my hand away.'

Dwight · Iris Black:Dwight's radio interview claim: 'David Wallace is the CEO, but he's not hands-on. So the day-to-day operations are entirely under your command?' / 'Entirely is the perfect way to describe it, Iris.'

Dwight · Iris Black:Radio producer asks Dwight to remove his shirt because his buttons are causing a clinking sound

Dwight · Pam:Radio producer claims Dwight's voice sounds 'a little feminine' and asks if he's wearing pants with a metallic zipper — implying he should remove his pants too

Angela · Oscar:Angela's conversation about Senator Lipton: 'Last night he was so tired, he just wanted a little Mexican brought in.' Oscar reacts with horrified restraint: 'I can't! It's too much!'

Angela · Oscar:'The Senator is just pushing back as hard as he can.' — Oscar's cringe reaction: 'Hmm! Please stop!'

Oscar:Oscar's talking-head: 'I'm in big trouble.' / Documentary narrator voice-over: 'Yeah, Oscar's in big trouble.'

Dwight:Dwight on live radio: 'This is gotcha journalism. But you know what? They're not gonna gotch me.'

Dwight · Iris Black · Sondra Mick:Sondra Mick ambush: 'Is your paper toxic?' / 'No. The paper's not toxic.' / 'Thank you, Sondra!' / '...Unless it's exposed to oxygen. Then it becomes extremely toxic.'

Dwight · David Wallace · Iris Black:Dwight's stock-price-plummeting chaos: 'Get out of here, moron!' to David Wallace, then realizing he's on air: 'Uh... No one. Did you just call Ms. Mick a moron?'

Kevin · Oscar:Kevin's talking-head: 'Hey, Oscar, what if I'm getting a promotion? I hope that's it, Kevin. Me, too. 'Cause then I would get my own office. And I wouldn't screw up your secret with Angela. I've been really worried about that.'

Oscar · Kevin · Angela:Oscar bribing Kevin with snack machine money to separate Kevin from Angela mid-conversation

Oscar · Dwight:Oscar confessing to Dwight he made up the gambling accusation against Kevin: 'Those figures I gave you? They're false. No. I was mad at Kevin. We had a fight, and I acted vindictively.'

Dwight · Oscar:Dwight's Scranton Strangler digression: 'A few years ago, when I was on the jury, the Scranton Strangler? I always thought he might have been set up, but I felt pressured to convict.' / 'Well, that's got to be tough.' / 'Tough? I put an innocent man on death row.'

Dwight · Iris Black:News radio report: 'Since Mr. Dwight Schrute began speaking, Dunder Mifflin share prices fell 73%.'

Andy · Erin:Andy's first look at the family boat: 'Oh, my gosh, Andy! This is enormous!' / 'I thought it was going to be tiny!'

Erin:'So this is how your family came to America.' — Erin to Andy about the enormous sailboat

Andy · Erin · Boat Captain:The captain rebuking Andy: 'I'm not a ghost, so I can't walk through people.' / Erin: 'He was salty.' / Andy: 'He is, a little bit.'

Andy:'Damn it! Screw you, Dad!' — Andy, after being denied permission to touch anything on the boat, alone on the dock

Erin:'Well, we're doing it. We're finally having a picnic on the boat!' — Erin, cheerfully reframing the failed sailing attempt as a success

Erin · Andy:'Andy, you never had to sail the boat to be a man.' / 'Fine, but I could have.'

Andy:Andy declares himself captain: 'I'm the captain.' — three times, with increasing conviction

Andy:'How much for that cool fisherman's sweater?' — Andy trying to buy the captain's sweater as he announces he's sailing the boat to the Bahamas himself

Erin:Erin asks the sailor: 'How much for that cool fisherman's sweater?'

Dwight · David Wallace:News radio: 'For those just joining us, terror in Greenwich, where the police have surrounded the house of Dunder Mifflin CEO David Wallace. Wallace is said to be despondent over the company's stock plummet and has taken a mailman hostage.'

Dwight:'Please, sir, spare him! Please!' — someone (possibly Dwight) pleading for the mailman's life on air

Dwight:Dwight offering to conference in Wallace during an active police hostage standoff: 'I know Wallace's phone number! Everyone hold, I'll conference him in!'

Walt:Andy finds his brother Walt in the wine cellar: 'I was having a little trouble with this door, uh, yesterday. I, uh... I think it was yesterday.'

Dwight · David Wallace:Dwight calls Wallace mid-hostage standoff: 'David, is that you? Oh, thank God! I believe in you. I really do, and I believe in your ability to make the right choices. But David, listen to me carefully. I'm going to need you to let the mailman go, okay?'

Dwight · David Wallace:'Dunder Mifflin will be in good hands while you're away in prison.' — Dwight to Wallace

David Wallace:Wallace: 'Okay. Dwight? I'm going to ask you to not call me on my cell anymore. Gotta go.'

Dwight · Office Staff:Office erupts into 'Schrute! Schrute! Schrute!' chant after the radio catastrophe

Dwight:Dwight's talking-head: 'Overall, I'd say my first radio interview went pretty much the way I expected.'

Kevin · Angela:Kevin's talking-head reveal: 'Well, Oscar, I did not get the promotion. He just wanted to update my personal information.' / Angela: 'Why on Earth would you think you were getting a promotion?' / Kevin: 'You know what, Angela? I... Oh, my God!'

Angela · Senator Lipton · Oscar:Senator Lipton's arrival: 'Honey! What are you doing here?' / Senator (to Oscar): 'Oscar! Looking very healthy. Getting lots of vigorous exercise?'

Senator Lipton:'Oscar! Looking very healthy. Getting lots of vigorous exercise?'

Oscar:Oscar's pivot to campaigning: 'We're not just going to sit here and ignore the obvious. Senator Lipton has a big election next week. We all need to give him our support!'

Oscar · Office Staff:Oscar's pivot: 'Senator Lipton has a big election next week... We all need to give him our support!' — becomes a USA chant

Oscar:Oscar's talking-head: 'I have to say, I'm impressed with Kevin. He showed a lot of self-control. I totally forgot about the affair for a minute.'

Andy:'Damn it, I'm happy!' — Andy shouting from the boat as it departs

Andy:Andy: 'Damn it, I'm happy!'

Erin:Erin's talking-head: 'Would I have gone with him if he'd asked me? On his sailboat cruise to the Caribbean? Yes. I think that would have been really fun and romantic.'

Andy · Walt:Andy discovering Walt has been hiding in the boat's cabin: 'Hey, bro! It was here all along! No way!' / 'Way!'

Andy:'Erin, I gotta go! Them's my chords!' — Andy noticing his guitar on the boat and switching from emotional goodbye to music

Jim · Pam:Jim's friend 'Flipper': 'You might get to meet my friend Flipper.' / 'Does he have a flipper?' / 'Nope. He, uh... He flipped a table one time when he was drunk.'

Jim · Pam:'He sounds like an idiot.' / 'Yeah, he is.' — Pam and Jim's reaction to Flipper