Paper Airplane

Dwight:Oh. Hey, champions. Good morning. Quarter finals in an hour, hope you got some sleep, because I'm going to be haunting your nightmares tonight.

Jim:I did. I got some really good sleep. Did you? Zzz...

Oscar:It's not so easy on the environment, if you know what I mean.

Kevin:It's practically made of plastic.

Dwight:Some used skill. Others relied on showmanship. Others seemed not to comprehend what a paper airplane is.

Creed:I think I left my glasses down here somewhere. Crossing through. Beep, beep. Ow! Ow! I didn't see you! You should have been yelling 'crossing!'

Dwight:We are now down to an elite eight. Well, seven, and Toby.

Andy · Clark:'Be careful of that beaker. It contains dangerous acid!' — it does not say 'dangerous' and there's no exclamation point.

Clark · Film Director:Clark ad-libbing 'dangerous' and an exclamation point into dry chemical safety script; director corrects him

Andy:HRPDC Chemical Handling Protocols. It's going to be seen by tons of workers in the industrial chemical community, one of whom could have a cousin whose brother is Brad Pitt, and then boom! Next thing you know, I'm in Moneyballs 2.

Andy · Clark:Andy? Go away! We're running lines. / You wanted to see the gooey eye. / Oh, yeah. All right, get over here. I'm so freaked out by things going into eyes.

Andy · Clark:'And remember, do not attempt to extinguish a chemical fire with water. It will only exacerbate the flame. The dangerous flame.'

Andy:Wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop. Don't go anywhere. I just need to find more colors. Let's do it six more times.

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's couples therapy homework: forced 'acknowledge and appreciate' language in mundane conversation about tea

Pam · Jim:And we are also supposed to speak our truths. Mmm-hmm. Because if I had spoken my truth earlier about not wanting to move to Philly, then maybe we wouldn't have had this opportunity for couples therapy.

Andy · Oscar:Carla Fern got me a gig. Hey. Yeah. Who's Carla Fern? Who is Carla Fern? Well... Wow. Uh, she's my agent and my drill sergeant. And one of my best friends.

Andy · Oscar:Andy announces his agent 'Carla Fern'; Oscar asks 'Who's Carla Fern?' — Andy is scandalized

Andy · Oscar:And, Oscar, I already figured out if I have to get emotional in the film, I'm just gonna think about you getting dumped by the Senator. / Why don't you use your own life? Erin just dumped you. / It's a little raw. Not cool, Oscar.

Jim · Nellie:Not one of us remembers you saying anything about $2,000. / I forgot. I completely forgot.

Jim:But at least now that large piece of cardboard that man was carrying around makes sense.

Angela:I had a chance with Dwight, but I didn't take it. And if I went back now, when I'm broke and he just inherited a farm, I'd be one of those gold-digging tramps you read about that try to bag a farmer.

Dwight:I'm with Esther now, she's younger than Angela. Sturdier, more comfortable with the scent of a manured field. Let's be honest, when it came to manured fields, Angela was, at best, indifferent.

Erin:Oh, wide wings, interesting. Hey! Why don't you back off? I mean, best of luck to you in the competition.

Andy · Darryl:Are you in that paper documentary, too? Yup. You need an agent? No. I mean, you never acted in anything before. He's just my entourage. I was in The Wiz in high school.

Andy:That's the clicky-clacker. He clicks that, and then the guy says, 'Action.'

Clark:We just need a picture of the top of your head in case we burn some of your hair off.

Andy:The 'actor' being photographed for hair-burning safety reference photo reacts awkwardly to the camera

Kevin · Angela · Nellie:Kevin versus Angela matchup introduced; Kevin admits he bought a pre-folded plane off Craigslist

Nellie:Nellie announces: 'I give you Toby and Angela' — described as 'two creatures, great and small'

Dwight · Kevin:Hey, that is a really nice plane. You make that yourself? Uh-huh. Well, what am I thinking? Of course you made that yourself, 'cause it's in the rules that you have to fold your own plane. Kevin, did you make that yourself? Yes. In a way. From one that I bought on Craigslist.

Dwight · Kevin:This is flatter. It's a piece of paper. You fold it into an airplane. Okay, that's enough. This is the end of the ream now. You have to pick one. I can't. I love them all too much. And none of them fly. So that makes it harder.

Jim · Pam:An Earl Grey tea for the lady. Oh, thank you. Um... I acknowledge and appreciate that you went out of your way to get me tea.

Jim:But, to speak my truth, it wasn't out of the way, because I felt like a tea anyway, so one trip.

Pam:Well, to speak my truth, I switched to coffee in March. There's a new espresso machine. But I still acknowledge and appreciate the gesture.

Clark · Andy:Okay, um, stop. Um, why are you smiling? I just made a character choice to be a scientist who really likes what he does and enjoys his job.

Erin:Yeah! Oh, eat it, piggy! Eat it! Oink, oink, oink.

Pete · Erin:We still got to work together, so we should keep it civil. / I can't hear what you said. / You get your slop?

Bob Vance · Dwight:You can do it, baby. / No, you can't, baby. You're gonna choke.

Esther:Yeah, I plucked the chickens extra fast, 'cause I knew I was seeing you tonight. So there might just be a little bit of feather in your nuggets or just a little bit of meat inside of your pillow.

Esther · Dwight:Esther shows up early because she 'plucked the chickens extra fast'; there might be feather in the nuggets OR meat in the pillow

Dwight:All right, ladies and gentlemen, we are now down to the final four. Dwight, Erin, Angela, and God only knows how, but Toby.

Andy · Clark:I'll get nude if you want me to. I'll go full Lena Dunham, but I... Dude, we don't need you to go nude, okay? Absolutely not.

Andy · Darryl:Darryl, what do I do? Hold up, I'm looking at my spit in the microscope.

Andy · Darryl:They want me to use real water in the eyewash scene. / So? / I can't squirt stuff in my eyeball. I've never even used an eyedropper.

Dwight:It is time for a little T and A. I give you Toby and Angela.

Robert · Nellie:Is there a reason that we're excited for that little woman? / Yes, I pity her. She was recently in a situation where she could have had it all, and instead she lost everything. / Mmm. Is she a gambler? / In a way, but not in a stand-up-and-cheer kind of way, like the song.

Carla:Andy, if you don't stick your eyes in that machine, I'm gonna call every production in Northeastern Pennsylvania. You won't even make an appearance on a security camera!

Andy:She yelled at me. [Andy crying in talking head]

Andy:Andy talks himself into doing the eyewash scene by creating an alter ego: 'Older Male Lab Assistant Number One'

Andy:I can't wash my eyeball. I can't do that. I can't. Andy Bernard can't squirt water in his eye and act like it doesn't freak him out. But you know who can? Older Male Lab Assistant Number One.

Andy · Darryl:Do you believe in me? / I believe you.

Erin · Pete:Damn it! God... Sorry. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Okay. I got mad. Yeah. 'Cause I don't like losing, Pete. I'm just gonna... Sorry, I'm mad, Pete. I'm mad. I'm really mad. I wanted to win. We were gonna win a lot of money. I was gonna buy you a sweater.

Jim · Pam:Well, you know how much I appreciate the opportunity to hang out with your mom more, so let me just put this in my calendar. / I acknowledge with gratitude that you are being kind and responsible enough to include it in your calendar. / Thank you. Your mom is a treasure.

Jim · Pam:Jim takes a phone call mid-therapy homework conversation; Pam calls it out; Jim says 'I appreciate the sacrifice' sarcastically

Pam · Jim:I've been putting the kids to bed by myself every night for months. And you had to miss one phone call. Is that your truth, Jim? That's really your truth? / I guess I will swallow my truth.

Kevin:Are you guys high? Because, if so, to speak my truth, I would appreciate the sacrifice of including me in some hits off your kind buds.

Dwight:The Mark 47 is ready for launch.

Pam:Pam: 'I wish we'd started this exercise six months ago. My heart just feels so... Blocked up.'

Kevin:Kevin's paper airplane 'The Mark 47' launch — with 'Less paste' instruction

Nellie:We want you to win. Dwight told me about your situation. It's such a pity. Just use the money wisely. Okay?

Kevin:I know a guy who can turn that into $800. Hint, it's me.

Dwight:Well, I guess you needed the money more than me, huh? Use it wisely.

Angela:I was disappointed in Dwight today. He showed a weakness that was unbecoming. Even if he did do it for me. I don't need pity, and I don't need charity. I have my dignity, and that's enough.