The elevator goes out at the office, forcing everyone to use the stairs. Dwight forces Stanley to make a sales call. Pam and Jim talk to Nellie and Toby about relationship problems. Angela supports her man.
WAR
109.1
Wins Above Replacement
“Stairmageddon” ranks #15 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 93.4 — Elite. The episode packs 75 scored jokes at 3.4 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.4 on impact, with Dwight landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Kevin: Kevin's extended celebration: 'I kept the secret. I kept the secret so good. You didn't know, you didn't know, and you didn't freaking know. But I knew! He knew! Yes! We did it. You did it, Kevin.'
Kevin Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight talking head: 'I must say it's the most pleasant I've ever seen Stanley. I think we should consider injecting him with bull tranquilizer on a daily basis.'
Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Senator: Senator: 'It wasn't until my marriage to Angela that I realized how... charmless I find the female body.'
Senator Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight · Pete: Dwight/Pete logistics exchange: 'I'll grab the forelegs, you push his hindquarters.' Pete: 'Just say arms and legs, okay? That's the vernacular I'm comfortable with.' Dwight: 'Hoist his shank on three.' Pete: 'What's a shank?' Dwight: 'It's by the tenderloin.'
Stanley: Stanley: 'Holy shit. No, you didn't.' — then gets tranquilized mid-insult
Stanley Reaction Beat Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Standout Moments
Senator: Senator: 'It wasn't until my marriage to Angela that I realized how... charmless I find the female body.'
Senator Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kevin: Kevin's extended celebration: 'I kept the secret. I kept the secret so good. You didn't know, you didn't know, and you didn't freaking know. But I knew! He knew! Yes! We did it. You did it, Kevin.'
Kevin Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight talking head: 'I must say it's the most pleasant I've ever seen Stanley. I think we should consider injecting him with bull tranquilizer on a daily basis.'
Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 75 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Dwight · Stanley: Stanley struggling to climb the stairs while Dwight named the elevator outage 'Stairmageddon' and ran a weeks-long awareness campaign
Stanley: Stanley: 'I put 17 damn years into this company, and now they're making me climb stair mountain!'
Stanley Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dwight: Talking head: 'Our office has an unusually large number of unusually large people.'
Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Observational Dwight: Dwight's talking head: comparing routine elevator maintenance to 'the end of time' while the camera shows Stanley barely surviving stairs
Dwight Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Andy: Red alert! Red alert! The reviews are in!
Andy Character Comedy Escalation Andy · Phyllis: Phyllis: 'What does it say?' / Andy: 'I don't know, Phyllis. I just got the text and started screaming Red alert.'
Dwight: Dwight: 'Well, the alert was already set to red because of Stairmageddon. You think I should set it to double red?'
Dwight Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight · Andy: Review reads: 'Dwight Schrute, the head salesman forever chasing a manager position he will never get.'
Dwight: Dwight: 'What does Josh McAuliffe know about the paper business? He works for a news... thing.'
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Andy: Review: 'Andy Bernard, the rudderless trust fund child-slash-middle manager, whose incompetence is emblematic of a declining American economy.'
Andy Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Andy: Andy talking head: 'I wanted to be my generation's Lisa Loeb.'
Andy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Multiple office workers: Review: 'A lurid subplot reveals the hypocrisy of a local public figure embroiled in a gay affair while preaching family values.' Office reacts: 'Which public figure?'
Kevin: Kevin: 'I bet it's Katie Couric. I've been saying this for years.'
Kevin Character Comedy Absurdist Stanley: Stanley to Dwight: 'Who do I look like, Jackie Joyner-Kersee?'
Stanley Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Stanley · Dwight: Stanley: 'You are not my damn boss and you never will be!' / Dwight's reaction beat
Pete · Stanley: Pete being asked for iced tea: 'Three sugars, five creams.' / Pete responding cheerfully: 'Coming right up.'
Pam · coworker: Pam's Embassy Suites misdirection: she says 'Embassy Suites, do not disturb sign, mommy and daddy on the floor' — then reveals it's marriage counseling
Toby: Toby: 'Did you know that is the only kind of counseling I have never had?'
Toby Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jim · Toby: Jim asks Toby about his divorce — Toby's exaggerated 'Whoa' followed by 'Oh yeah, no, it's okay. I can handle it.'
Jim Toby Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat Jim: Jim: 'No, no, no, no. We're just starting couples counseling. Uh, which doesn't sound any better.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Observational Kevin · Clark: Kelly (off-screen): 'Kelly called it. 2013.'
Jim · Clark: Jim chasing Clark out: 'Clark, get outta here. My mistake. Yes, it is your mistake. He's lingering. So annoying. I'm gonna kill him.'
Andy: Andy on hold with William Morris Agency: 'I need to speak with your best agent who represents your biggest stars.' Then immediately hangs up after being corrected.
Andy Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Angela · Senator: Angela's husband (the Senator): 'Correction. Best darn wife.' Angela: 'Sorry. I'm a better wife than that.'
Andy: Andy counting YouTube views in real time: '251. 252. I can't even keep up!'
Andy Character Comedy Escalation Dwight · Stanley: Dwight produces a bull tranquilizer dart gun to compel Stanley to go on the sales call
Stanley: Stanley: 'Holy shit. No, you didn't.' — then gets tranquilized mid-insult
Stanley Reaction Beat Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight's defense: 'It's all right. Andy approved it.'
Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Pete: Coworker: 'Man, he's really in Twinkle Town now.'
Pete Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Dwight: Dwight: 'This dosage was meant for a very small bull, and Stanley's got way more body fat than they do.' / Coworker notes Dwight gave him three shots.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight: 'Got about 45 minutes to get him to the client before he comes to. Grab his feet.'
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight: 'He's like a manatee.'
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight: 'No wonder my elevator cables are under such strain.'
Dwight Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Pete · Dwight: Pete and Dwight casually discussing weekend plans while dragging unconscious Stanley down the hall
Pete Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Dwight · Pete: Pete, on the wheelbarrow plan: 'Well, if I may, you're a natural.' Dwight: 'Thank you. I mean, I've rehearsed it in my head, like, 1,000 times.' Pete: 'That's a little weird.'
Dwight · Pete: Dwight's plan: 'I'm gonna launch him. I need you to go to the bottom and catch him.' Pete: 'Catch? I can't catch him, he's like 250 pounds.' Dwight: 'You use your hands and just blunt his descent.'
Dwight: After the failed launch: 'He would have put a hole in your chest same as he put a hole in that wall.'
Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Jim · Pam: Jim and Pam's counseling scene intercut: both arguing their sides of the same incidents without hearing each other
Jim Pam Cringe/Discomfort Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Kevin · Phyllis: Coworkers watching the press conference: 'Ooh, there's Angela. I work with her.' 'I mean, I'm happy Angela's the first one getting famous, but it's a little weird, no? I mean, she can't sing or act, so it's actually kind of insane, if you think about it.'
Kevin · Phyllis: Phyllis: 'Her hair looks beautiful.' Kevin: 'Yeah, we get it, Phyllis, she looks like a freakin' movie star!'
Senator: Senator at press conference: 'I am gay.'
Senator Misdirection Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Reporter: Reporter: 'Senator, were you always gay, or did your wife turn you gay?'
Reporter Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Reporter: Reporter: 'Question for the senator's beard.'
Senator: Senator: 'Yo soy homosexual' — Spanish translation for the crowd
Toby: Toby (watching press conference): 'Ooh. Always hurts to hear that one.'
Toby Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Senator · Oscar · Kevin: Senator thanks Oscar Martinez — Oscar is also revealed to be with the Senator
Kevin: Kevin: 'Oscar is with the senator too? Yes! And I knew it the whole time.'
Kevin Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Senator · Multiple office workers: Senator announces new partner: 'Wesley Silver.' Multiple people: 'Wesley Silver's gay?'
Phyllis: Phyllis: 'They make a nice couple.'
Phyllis Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Dwight: Dwight: 'Are you kidding me? The bubble wrap is the only thing that's stopping his suit from getting wrinkled. These meetings are all about presentation.'
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight · Pete: Pete's reaction: 'That's actually really smart.' / Dwight: 'Thank you. God, if only there was any other use or situation for that kind of knowledge.'
Dwight Pete Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Andy · Carla Fern: Andy's meeting with talent agent Carla Fern: she represents a 'dog, cat, mouse' act
Carla Fern: Carla: 'It really doesn't make sense to name the mice. They're kind of like cannon fodder, you know?'
Dwight · Pete: Dwight/Pete logistics exchange: 'I'll grab the forelegs, you push his hindquarters.' Pete: 'Just say arms and legs, okay? That's the vernacular I'm comfortable with.' Dwight: 'Hoist his shank on three.' Pete: 'What's a shank?' Dwight: 'It's by the tenderloin.'
Dwight · unnamed helper: Dwight tells the helper to 'get in the back' of the car — helper protests, Dwight insists, helper has to sit in the back with unconscious Stanley
Dwight · Pete: Dwight telling Pete to 'get in the back' of the car. Pete reluctantly complies.
Stanley · Dwight · Pete: Driving to client: Stanley semi-conscious says 'Pigeons.' Dwight: 'Oh God, this is bad.'
Pete: Pete: 'Isn't the client, like, best friends with his sister?'
Pete Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort Dwight: Dwight's talking head: 'You, my friend, are going to have to be Stanley Hudson.'
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight's pivot: 'New plan, okay? We get him a cup of coffee and we go back to the old plan.' / 'Upsie-doozie.'
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Toby · Jim: Post-counseling: Toby mutters 'Blah blah blah blah.' Jim: 'Well, they deserve each other, then.' Both: 'That they do. That they do.'
Toby Jim Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Dwight · Stanley · Pete: Dwight to the client (Mrs. Davis): 'He gets carsick really easily' / Stanley saying 'Driving' while semi-conscious
Stanley: Half-conscious Stanley at the meeting — fixating on the client's baby photos: 'Look at that baby... Benji... He's precious... I've never seen such a beautiful child.'
Stanley Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Andy: Andy's talent agency meeting: 'My exact age is 28 to 34, so basically just send me out on whatever Jake Gyllenhaal's going out on.'
Andy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Andy: Andy tells the talent agent he can 'sing, play the banjo, innit? And if you hadn't noticed, I've got a pretty good British accent.'
Andy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Andy · Carla Fern: Andy: 'Send me out on whatever Jake Gyllenhaal's going out on.' / Agent: 'Gyllenhaal, got it.'
Andy · Carla Fern: Agent asks Andy if he'd dress as a birthday clown for kid's parties and let kids throw pies at him. Andy's response: a long pause, then 'Whereas that is not why I have entered show business, I do understand that you have to build credibility. I'm all for it.'
Andy: Carla Fern signs Andy as a client — Andy's extended disbelief and celebration: 'Are you being for real right now?' / 'I need this so bad. I really think this is what could fix me.'
Andy Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Andy · Carla Fern: Signing with Carla Fern requires $5,000 up front — 'that includes headshots.' / 'It doesn't include headshots.' / 'Of course not, because that would be insane if it did.'
Stanley · Dwight: Dwight: 'You earned yourself a nice, fat commission and you didn't even know it.' Stanley: 'Oh. Silly me. Gotta take the stairs.'
Andy: 'Still getting a bargain, though.'
Andy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Stanley · Dwight: Final scene: Stanley refuses to take the stairs back up. Dwight: 'We need a winch and a hoist.'
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