Hurricane Wanda

Abbi:Abbi waking up confused: 'What? How am I getting shorter?'

Abbi · Jeremy:Jeremy tells Abbi she'd be the person he'd give a spare key to, and Abbi immediately crumbles into flustered stammering about 'commitment'

Abbi · Jeremy:Jeremy asks 'Do you mind if I take off my shirt?' and Abbi says 'Where'd you get all that oil from?'

Jeremy:'Now I can put up that shelf.' — Jeremy, dripping with oil, announces the shelf's purpose as though it's totally normal

Abbi:'You're so... slippery.' — Abbi, apparently touching oiled Jeremy

Abbi · Bevers:Abbi wakes up and Bevers says 'Someone had a sexy dream, huh?' — implying he witnessed or heard something

Bevers:Abbi wakes from the dream and we hear an adjacent male voice narrating: 'My neighbor Abbi is so sexy and now I have this great big humongous boner'

Ilana · Abbi:Ilana immediately proposes: 'I was thinking maybe we could masturbate next to each other.' Then adds it's 'parallel play.'

Abbi:Abbi: 'It's because I want to so badly.' — confessing she's always wanted to parallel-masturbate with Ilana

Abbi · Ilana:Abbi: 'What a way to start the day.' Ilana: 'It's 5 p.m.' Abbi: 'Great... Closing time.'

Ilana:Hurricane prep supplies include 'Sour Patch Kids, Nutter Butters, Mrs. Fields cookies' — and 'potato salad half off because we all might die'

Abbi:Bevers's sister has an 11th toe, and 'it's not where you would expect it to be'

Marla:Marla enters saying 'Do I smell potato salad? Just kidding, I know I smell potato salad.'

Marla:Marla claims the potato salad was 'a gift for the host of the party' — commandeering supplies she didn't bring

Bevers:Bevers refuses to go to his girlfriend's parents' house because 'it's too much presh. Her parents are like, too into me. They just think I'm really fun.'

Bevers:'It's like camp right now!' — Bevers treating a hurricane and an unwanted houseguest situation as summer fun

Abbi:Abbi's hurricane confession: she switched their laptop chargers in the night 'like a sneaky thief' and that's why Ilana's charger never works

Abbi · Ilana:Ilana forgives Abbi instantly: 'It's not a big deal at all.' Abbi: 'You are forgiveness. You are. Wow. Whew. Thank you everybody. Namaste. Gracias.'

Ilana · Unknown:Never Have I Ever: 'Never have I ever read a newspaper.' — Ilana. Response: 'Even homeless people read newspapers.'

Unknown:Never Have I Ever follow-up: 'Never have I ever dealt with how my parents' divorce affected my overall, you know, being in relationships.'

Ilana:'Light as a feather, stiff as a board' — Ilana initiates a full camp levitation ritual during the hurricane party

Abbi:'Just a lot of people here and I spite eat.' — Abbi explaining why she consumed the entire potato salad

Abbi · Ilana:Abbi refuses to use the bathroom because there are too many people. Ilana offers to come in and do 'ocean noises in your ear to relax you.'

Ilana:'Number two for number two.' — Ilana's response when Abbi chooses Option Two (distraction)

Ilana:Ilana's distraction: 'Bags! Throw 'em up in the air, huh? It's like American Beauty.'

Abbi:'On the one night that Jeremy comes over to my apartment, I explode.' — Abbi using 'explode' to describe her digestive situation to Ilana

Ilana:'This is the best. This is a sexy situation. It's terrifying outside. There's candles all lit. And who's your competition? Marla Bevers?'

Ilana:'I am a doo doo ninja.'

Ilana · Abbi:Ilana demands eye contact for permission: 'Look me in the eyes and tell me I have your permission.' / 'Any means necessary?'

Ilana:'Now get out there, bounce some little titties for that hunky, quarter-Latino and whatever else he is.'

Abbi:Abbi explains she was in her bedroom because 'a felf shell.' She then corrects: 'A shelf fell.'

Jeremy:Jeremy says 'I'm pretty good with the felf shells' — echoing Abbi's malapropism back at her gently

Marla:Marla cuts off the romantic moment: 'Don't have to figure out what your talent is, Ab. Pretty sure it's not washing dishes. She's always making me wash dishes!'

Abbi:Abbi: 'Such a jokester. I love dishes and washing them.' — forced recovery through aggressive normalizing

Ilana:Ilana returns from the bathroom task: 'It is gone. The deed is done.' — delivered as if completing a military operation

Ilana:Ilana improvises a song about the talent show: '♪ It looks like there's a talent show / In the living room / I think that we should go do that now ♪'

Jeremy:Jeremy: 'I'll do anything if she sings it like that.' — responding to Ilana's absurd song

Unknown:Talent show: 'Hello, my name is Flo. Everyone say, Hello, Flo. I can do lots of dances. I can do the running man. I can do the Roger Rabbit.'

Bevers:Bevers's camp rap includes the line '♪ We like to eat Skittles and master the bait... ting of hooks and archery too ♪'

Bevers:'Not just with our mouths but with our mushroom caps ♪' — the camp rap escalates to explicit territory

Ilana:'I got a boot in my cootch and I do not care!'

Abbi · Ilana:Abbi: 'My talent can't be to like, wash his body.' Ilana: 'You mean like, wash his body after sex, right? I want to make sure you're optimizing your fantasies.'

Ilana · Abbi:Truth or Dare scheme: Ilana will say 'dare,' get dared to do something embarrassing, which will give Abbi cover to do something with Jeremy

Ilana:Ilana announces she won leg wrestling: 'Don't feel bad. I'm on speed.'

Ilana · Abbi:Truth or Dare: Abbi picks 'dare.' Ilana: 'I dare you to suck Jeremy's [bleep].'

Abbi:Abbi: 'Um, that's a wrap on Truth or Dare.'

Marla · Unknown:Reaction to Bevers's bedroom setup — 'That pasty ass. He lives here for free.' / 'Fully stocked mini fridge.'

Bevers:'Should I put my Lincoln Log on one of these cans? That is so sweet. Abbi would love it.'

Neighbor · Ilana:'Should I put my Lincoln Log on one of these cans? That is so sweet. Abbi would love it.'

Unknown:Pre-death confession: 'I once ate a corn on the cob... including the cob.'

Unknown:'I do it every time.' — the cob eater clarifies this is habitual, not a one-time incident

Marla · Jaime:Someone asks if anyone smells something; the smell is identified as 'dookie' — but it's blamed on Jaime, who stepped in something

Ilana:Ilana's attempt to cover: 'I think that we can all agree that there's no smell. It's the storm, I think.'

Abbi:'Sweet dreams on my ass, Bevers!' followed by physical comedy suggesting Abbi dumps something on him

Unknown:'It's tea time, bitch. Oh, governor! I have a hole in my weenus!'

Jeremy · Abbi:Jeremy and Abbi bond over cooking; Jeremy admits his specialty is 'Egg, mostly.' (singular)

Marla:'Who [bleep] in my shoe?' — Marla discovers the contents of her Shapely

Marla Bevers:'No one's going anywhere until I find out who took a (bleep) in my Shapely!'

Marla · Unknown:'Was it you, Dimples? No, I'm on a low-fiber diet. I go like, twice a week, tops. I promise.'

Bevers:Bevers's camp defense: 'Camp was rough. Tonight brought up a lot of bad memories.' Implication: he pooped in a shoe at camp.

Bevers:Bevers: 'Only me and Greg Shapiro could blow ourselves. I was always the fastest at it. Always!'

Bevers:Bevers clarifies the self-blowing: 'I would blow myself and Greg would blow himself separate, across the room. There's a video of it! There's a...'

Marla:'Are you the secret dumper, brown eyes?' — Marla addressing the dog Brody

Abbi:Abbi reveals: 'Marla, I know... It was Brody. Come on, Brody! Come on out here, boy.' — throwing the dog under the bus

Marla:'Brody's my dog. And that explains it.' / 'Oh, I feel like a crazy methhead right now.'

Marla:'Except for one thing! If you had a dog, I'd be dead because I'm allergic, bitch!'

Marla:'So Abbi, why'd you [bleep] in my Shapelys? And tell it to the toe!'

Abbi:Abbi's full confession: she pooped in the toilet but couldn't flush (no water), Ilana said she'd handle it, Abbi 'did not think that that meant she would put it in your shoe.'

Jeremy:'Okay, uh, this was so fun. I'm gonna go. Glad I kept my shoes on.'

Ilana · Abbi:Ilana denies putting anything in a shoe: 'What? / I didn't put it in a shoe.' / Abbi points to shoe with poop. / Ilana: 'There's [bleep] in this shoe, is there not?'

Ilana · Abbi:Ilana: 'Thank you so much for covering for me. You're the best.' / Abbi: 'You [bleep] in your sister's Shapely.' / Ilana: 'Just trying to say thank you.'

Lincoln · Ilana:Lincoln tells Ilana he has a 'man crush' on Jeremy; Ilana agrees: 'Jeremy has amazing teeth.'

Jaime:Jaime's hurricane confession: as a child, his pet turtle's private name was the N-word. 'I would say, Come here, [bleep]. I love you, [bleep].'

Ilana:CALLBACK REPLAY: 'Get out there and bounce them little titties for that hunky, quarter-Latino' — shown again as recap/replay

Ilana:CALLBACK REPLAY: 'It is gone. The deed is done. / It looks like there's a talent show / In the living room' — shown again