Michael doesn't want to upset the staff so he gets Dwight to pass on news about the company's reduced health provisions. Fed up with his nosiness, Jim and Pam pretend they are suffering from a variety of conditions including Ebola, Mad Cow Disease, spontaneous dentohydroplosion, hotdog fingers, nano-robot infection...
WAR
42.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Health Care” ranks #44 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.2 — Elite. The episode packs 38 scored jokes at 1.7 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Kevin Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael · Jan: Yeah, when have you ever done that? I'm doing it, right now. To you.
Pam · Dwight: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol? So I can lower it.
Dwight: Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead!
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: In the wild, there is no healthcare. In the wild healthcare is 'How, I hurt my leg... I can't run, a lion eats me, and I'm dead.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 38 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael: Pam ! Pamela, Pamelamela Ding Dong ! Making copies.
Michael Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Pam: I'm not making any copies.
Pam Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Michael: I give them food. Not directly, but through the money...
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Does that make me their doctor?
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Yes... In a way... Yeah, like a specialist.
Michael Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Michael: I think it was you who didn't look closely enough at the 'gold plan'.
Michael Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jan · Michael: I'm not even on that plan. Well I recommend it, it's very good.
Michael: It's not gonna be a popular decision around the old orifice.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael · Jan: Yeah, when have you ever done that? I'm doing it, right now. To you.
Jan · Michael: No, I have a life. Interesting, what's that like? You should try it sometime. But then who would watch my TV?
Jan Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim: Anytime Michael asks me to do anything I just tell me that Dwight should do it.
Jim Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jim: If this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.
Jim Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight · Michael: how many people can I fire? None, you're picking a healthcare plan.
Dwight · Michael: Yes, I have an office. Bigger than his! No, you cannot use it.
Dwight: In the wild, there is no healthcare. In the wild healthcare is 'How, I hurt my leg... I can't run, a lion eats me, and I'm dead.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight: Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead!
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Still no one calling.
Michael Reaction Beat Visual Gag Callback Dwight · Jim: Uh, knock, please. Please knock, this is an office. It says workspace.
Dwight Jim Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: I don't need them, superior genes. I'm a Schrute... And superior brain power. Through concentration I can raise
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Pam · Dwight: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol? So I can lower it.
Michael · Dwight: Cuts ? what ? Dwight did you make cuts? Yeah you said go in the... No no no no no.
Michael: They're out there thinking 'Wow ! My boss really cares about me. He has a surprise, he's cool. What a great guy, I love him. I love him.'
Michael: Couldn't find the knock.
Michael Physical/Slapstick Visual Gag Callback Jim · Pam: So let's say that my teeth turn to liquid And then, they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that? I thought you said you were inventing diseases? That's spontaneous 'dentohydroplosion'
Jim Pam Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: This is my world, this is improv, this it 'whose line is it anyway'. Damn it ! damn it ! Jim !
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dwight: Hot dog fingers. Government created killer nano robot infection
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight · Jim: Killer Nano Robots ? It's an epidemic.
Dwight Jim Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight · Jim: Count Choculitis. Sounds tough.
Dwight Jim Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Dwight · Jim: Let me out or you're fired. No, you can't fire me. Yes I can, I'm manager for the day. Clean out your desk.
Jim: Ok, can you hold on one second, I'm getting a bip.
Jim Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jan: Dwight, listen to me very carefully, you are not a manager of anything. Understand ?
Jan Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael: Hey, temp, why don't you take two. Because you don't get healthcare, and faster metabolism.
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Meredith: Could you mean vagina ? Because if you do I want that covered.
Meredith Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kevin · Meredith: I thought your vagina was removed during you hysterectomy. A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.
Kevin Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael: Hi, I'm Mork from Ork. Well I'm Bork for Smork. anounanouzoubliblublu
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Angela: We all think you don't have a surprise.
Angela Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael Cringe/Discomfort Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Callback ⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 11:43-12:25 range with Michael's phone calls lacking strong punchlines as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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