The Dunder-Mifflin staffers join in kindergarten-like festivities for Valentine's Day while Michael heads to New York City for a conference with the corporate heads. After showing the documenters a tour of his favorite city, Michael accidentally lets slip to the others at the conference that he and Jan hooked up, and he finds himself in hot water when Jan and the new CFO of Dunder-Mifflin hear the story. Back in Scranton, Pam becomes irked when she discovers that Roy hasn't gotten her anything for Valentine's Day, Dwight struggles to find a gift for Angela, and Kelley talks off Jim's ear about her rather desperate affections for Ryan, who is less than interested.
WAR
41.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Valentines Day” ranks #79 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.2 — Elite. The episode packs 45 scored jokes at 2.2 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight · Pam: You mean, like a ham? - No. Not like a ham.
Jim · Dwight: Happy Valentine's Day.
Jim Dwight Visual Gag Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Ryan: I hooked up with her on February 13th.
Ryan Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael: Her words, not mine. She sent me an e-mail this morning.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: Women, are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 45 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Pam: Like last year, Jim gave me this card with Dwight's head on it. It was horrifying and funny.
Pam Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Phyllis · delivery person: Happy Valentine's Day, Darling, love Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration
Dwight · Michael: And you want me to come with you. - No. Opposite of that.
Dwight · Michael: Screwed. What is your problem?
Michael: Her words, not mine. She sent me an e-mail this morning.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight: It's New York, city of love.
Dwight Character Comedy Observational Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Michael: Manhattan is the other name.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Jim: And I'll end up winning a lot of money, because, they're idiots.
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Jim · Dwight: Happy Valentine's Day.
Jim Dwight Visual Gag Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: It's me. I'm the bobble head.
Dwight Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Dwight Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Michael: And I'm gonna go get me a New York slice.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Kelly: Ryan, what took, you so long? I mean, I just said it to him. Can you believe that?
Kelly Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Ryan: I hooked up with her on February 13th.
Ryan Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael: Times Square. Named for all the good times you have when you're in it.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Michael: We have Bubba Gump Shrimp, Red Lobster down there. This is the heart of civilization right here.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Michael: There's a guy pooping in a cardboard box down there.
Michael Observational Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Founded of course, by Theodore Rockefeller.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Michael: That's Tina Fey from Saturday Night Live... Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were... She looked like... she looked a lot like Tina Fey.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Physical/Slapstick Michael: Come on! No, are you s... When? When I was talking to the fake Tina Fey?
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Callback Angela · Dwight: I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day. Oh, I bet you will before the day is over.
Michael: Scranton is great, but New York is like Scranton on acid. No, on speed. Nah. On steroids.
Michael: It's like Michael Jordan in the NBA finals, or like Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf. And this presentation is Desert Storm. And soon as it's over, we will not have to deal with those Iraqis anymore.
Kevin · Phyllis: Man, that thing's bigger than I am. - No, it's not. - Oh, zip it.
Josh · Craig · Michael: You have been kicked out of every strip club in Albany. - Is that true? - Guilty, yeah.
Dwight · Pam: You mean, like a ham? - No. Not like a ham.
Craig · Michael: She's the worst. - Well, she's our boss. - She ain't my boss, dude. I don't work for that bitch.
Michael: Maybe because she's my girlfriend. Was, or not my girlfriend. She's... we hooked up and...
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kelly: I know that it's Valentine's Day or whatever, but there's totally no pressure at all of any kind, whatsoever.
Kelly Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Jan: And, well, it is Michael. So... yeah, I'm very nervous.
Jan Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael: What is a business? Is it a collection of numbers and sales reports? Sure. But as you know, David and Jan, it is much more.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael: Yeah, I shot a bunch of footage around the office, edited it together on my Mac. Was thinking about entering it in some festivals. Probably won't. You know, not what this is about.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael: What it's like to walk a mile in Oscar's shoes. Or try on Phyllis' pants.
Michael Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Oscar · Kevin: Who's it from? - My mom.
Kelly: Is it okay if I invite Ryan?
Kelly Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Craig: I was under the impression this was more of, like, a meet-and-greet type of deal.
Craig Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Craig: Maybe I should've slept with you too.
Craig Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive Callback Michael: Surely, you cannot be serious. I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. Airplane.
Michael Meta/Self-Referential Callback Callback Dwight: Women, are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Roy: Let's get you home, and you are gonna get the best sex of your life.
Roy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael: And Craig, you saw him, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Although, he is a tool.
Michael: Oi vey...schmear.
Michael Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 19:00-20:30 as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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