While Michael and Dwight are out of the office for the day trying to close a deal on a new condo for Michael, Jim and Pam arrange for the staff to participate in an "Office Olympics," where the workers play strange, invented games (among them, Dunderball, Hate Ball...and Pam Pong) that they usually play while the boss is out. At the end of the day, the festivities cheer up everyone - even the oblivious Michael.
WAR
88.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Office Olympics” ranks #49 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 90.2 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dwight: A 30 year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls, so you couldn't hear other dead people.
Dwight Dark/Subversive Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Angela · Pam: I call it Pam-Pong. I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you. / We're friends. / Apparently.
Angela Pam Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Dwight: My grandfather left me a sixty acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to local stores and restaurants. It's a nice old farm. Sometimes teenagers use it for sex.
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight · Michael: Question: what about carpooling? Who pays for the gas? / We take separate cars. / And question, can sometimes I drive your car and you drive mine? / Why would we do that? / Just for fun. / No. / Question: who's the primary in the fire insurance?
Dwight Michael Escalation Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dwight: No, I'm like Butch Cassidy, and Michael is like... Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Standout Moments
Dwight: My grandfather left me a sixty acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to local stores and restaurants. It's a nice old farm. Sometimes teenagers use it for sex.
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight: A 30 year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls, so you couldn't hear other dead people.
Dwight Dark/Subversive Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Angela · Pam: I call it Pam-Pong. I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you. / We're friends. / Apparently.
Angela Pam Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael: I'm an early bird, and I'm a night owl, so I'm wise, and I have worms.
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ryan: What was the thing you needed me to come in early for?
Ryan Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Office is yours, home alone, risky business. Take your pants off, run around. Whatever you wanna do.
Michael: Healthier, gotta watch those carbs.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Back in olden days, they would not even let you vote unless you own a property and they threw you in the stacks, and then humiliate you. And it worked!
Pam: Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. I think today it was the expense reports that did him in. And our deal is, that it's up to me to revive him.
Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jim: You see Dwight's coffee mug? Sometimes when he's not here, I try to throw stuff in it.
Jim Character Comedy Visual Gag Michael · Dwight: Dwight insists on accompanying Michael to his condo closing as his 'representative,' Michael corrects 'associate,' Dwight says 'same thing,' Michael: 'No it is not!'
Dwight: No, I'm like Butch Cassidy, and Michael is like... Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Ah, most honorable Pamera. Not offensive because that's the way they talk in movies.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael · Dwight: Dwight, it's 50° outside, don't — / But then no one could see us.
Dwight: After Michael relents and lets Dwight put the top down, Dwight says 'I'm Terminator' — while riding in a convertible in 50° weather.
Dwight Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Oscar: The scoreboard goes back two years.
Oscar Deadpan/Understatement Escalation Callback Kevin: We call it Hate Ball. Because of how much Angela hates it.
Kevin Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Kevin: You should ask Toby to teach you Dunder Ball.
Kevin Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael misidentifies which condo is his, enthusiastically describing the wrong building as 'My sanctuary, my party pad' — then corrects himself.
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael meets Bill from the condo association and immediately does a 'Mr. Bill' SNL impression — 'Oh noooooo, Mr. Bill, ooooooh.'
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dwight · Michael: This is smaller than your old place. / Yes, well I'm buying it and I'm not renting it. So it's still an upgrade. / He doesn't know anything about property ownership. He's kind of an idiot.
Bill · Michael · Dwight: Also it's very accepting of all lifestyles. It's a very gay-friendly neighborhood. / Oh good, that's good. / Yeah. It's good to be accommodating of that. / Let's go check out the master bedroom.
Stanley: Yeah, I got a game. It's called work hard so my kids can go to college.
Stanley Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jim Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Check out the cathedral ceilings, those are like 17 feet high. We have cable readiness right there. I am going to totally pimp this place out.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Dwight · Michael: Neighbor threw his wife into the wall. Plasma screen hits the floor, totally smashed. / Well then I will get a warranty. / Warranties don't cover it, plus they're a rip-off. / Well I won't get a warranty. / Hush.
Jim · Unknown colleague: This scented candle, which I found in the men's bathroom, represents the eternal burning of competition... or something. / It smells like cookies. / Yes it does, yes it does my friend.
Jim: We will be competing for gold, silver, and bronze yogurt lids. Now the bronze are really blue, and they're also the backside of the gold, so no flipping, okay? Honor system.
Jim Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Angela: I do play games. I sing, and I dangle things in front of my cats.
Angela Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael · Dwight · Mortgage agent: 10 year fixed over 30, 30 year total. / Ow, 30 years! / Ok ok. / Wow you'll be paying this off in your mid-seventies.
Dwight: Hey I have an idea — you know that extra bedroom, if the girlfriend thing never happens, that's where the nurse can live.
Dwight Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: The pen tip breaks off during signing. 'Hey look, cool! Carpenter ends.' Michael takes a breather.
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Jim · Pam: You have what is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies, and I'm blanking on the name... could you help me out Pam? / Jim, they refer to it as Flonkerton — in English, 'box of papers snowshoe racing.'
Jim Pam Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam: The thing about Jim is, when he's excited about something like the Office Olympics, he gets really into it and does a really great job. But the problem with Jim is that he works here, so that hardly ever happens.
Pam Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Phyllis · Jim: Flonkerton visual: Phyllis shuffling down the office with paper boxes strapped to her feet.
Michael: The ceilings are lower than they were last week. That I don't — I don't know if you showed me the same unit or not?
Michael: Where are all the hot people? I was told that there would be all these attractive singles. And as far as I can tell, I'm the best looking person here. There's a basic principle in real estate that you should never be the best looking person in the development.
Michael · Dwight: I made the right decision. I'm glad I signed. I'm a home-owner, right? Good to be a home-owner, diversifying, this is good. This is fun, we're having fun! / Totally having fun!
Michael: Can you imagine those poor saps stuck at the office today?
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim: Phyllis by a nose — gold medal in flunenton — Flonkerton! Thank you, delegate from Iceland.
Jim Absurdist Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Michael · Dwight: I have a surprise for you — for helping me out today. / You don't have to d— / No, no, I insist... and that is why I am going to let you move into my third bedroom and pay me rent.
Michael Dwight Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Michael: Why did I do it? Because I believe in rewarding people for their efforts. I rewarded Dwight with the room, and he is rewarding me back with 500 dollars plus utilities.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: I'm thinking lock into a 4-year commitment, we'll go month to month after that, or until I start dating, have a girlfriend, and then you're... you know, you're gone.
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Michael · Dwight: What the hell is a terrarium? / It's a fish tank for snakes and lizards. / Oh, so an aquarium. / That will not come into this place, ok?
Dwight: My grandparents left me a large number of armoires.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jim · Phyllis: I think that's a HOR for Stanley, and a HO for Phyllis. / Are you calling me a ho?
Jim: Oh my god, Phyllis coming alive, I like it.
Jim Character Comedy Reaction Beat Dwight · Michael: Question: what about carpooling? Who pays for the gas? / We take separate cars. / And question, can sometimes I drive your car and you drive mine? / Why would we do that? / Just for fun. / No. / Question: who's the primary in the fire insurance?
Dwight Michael Escalation Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael · Dwight: Dwight's rapid-fire negotiation questions: carpooling arrangements, driving each other's cars 'just for fun,' fire insurance primary — Michael revokes the offer mid-sentence.
Dwight: Thank god! It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a nine-bedroom farmhouse. I have my own crossbow range. It's a perfect situation for me. / Well, look, 2 bathrooms would have been nice, we just have but one. / And it's under the porch.
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Jim: Who had someone from Vance Refrigeration? Ryan Howard! Ryan, gold medal.
Jim Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Callback Jim · Pam: I made something for a closing ceremony. / What? Oh my god! / When did you have time to make that? / Automatic voice-mail.
Jim Pam Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Dwight · Michael: You know, you can always refinance your mortgage. We had a 15-year on our beet farm, we paid it off early. / Yeah, well, nobody cares about your stupid beet farm. / Beets are the worst! / People loved beets! / Nobody likes beets. / Everyone loves beets. / Nobody likes beets, Dwight. / Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy. I'd love a piece of candy right now — not a beet.
Dwight Michael Character Comedy Escalation Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Oscar · Kevin: The chair race: competitors stop mid-race to argue about whose stopwatch it is, ignoring the race entirely.
Oscar Kevin Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Jim: Yeah, I filled out these expense reports. That took about 5 minutes. And then I closed 2 sales at lunchtime. So... about as productive as any other day, if not more so.
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kevin: I figured I could throw it away now, or I could keep it for a couple of months and then throw it away.
Kevin Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Kevin: It was really nice of Pam to make them, but... what am I gonna do with a gold medal made of paperclips and an old yogurt lid?
Kevin Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Jim: Hey, can you ignore those and do something for me instead?
Jim Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Jim · Michael: Michael? / Yep. Jim, slim Jim.
Michael · Jim: Michael tells Jim about the condo: 'it's a 3-bedroom gay-friendly.' Jim: 'nice.'
Jim · Pam · Michael: These are the closing ceremonies, step up! / Here on the top one. / Congratulations to Michael, because he closed on his condo — gold medal!
Michael: I don't really know what to say... My heart is very full at this moment.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Pam · Jim · Dwight: And for Dwight Schrute, the silver medal. / Get on up here Dwight! / Silver medal. / Yep, but not as good as gold!
Dwight · Pam: Why are you playing the national hymn? / Because your condo is in America.
Dwight · Pam: What the hell is that? / Those are the doves.
Michael · Jim: Michael: 'What the hell is that?' Jim: 'Those are the doves.' — referring to what are presumably paper doves or similarly improvised visual effects.
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