The Office is forced into the parking lot for the day when a fire starts in the kitchen. To ease everyone's boredom, Jim suggests a game of "Desert Island" and "Who Would You Do?", where certain staff members reveal a little too much information about themselves. Throughout the day, Michael talks business with Ryan, leaving Dwight feeling left out.
WAR
31.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Motivation” ranks #150 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 72.8 — Solid. The episode packs 51 scored jokes at 2.0 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.4 on impact, with David landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
David: That was me on a seven. Wait till you see me on a nine or ten!
David Character Comedy ★ Rewatch David: If you've got one leg, at least you haven't got two legs missing. If you have lost both legs and both arms, just go, "at least i'm not dead!" I'd rather be dead in that situation, to be honest.
David Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch David: I'm not saying people like that should be put down. I'm saying that in my life, i'd rather not live without arms and legs because... i'm just getting into yoga, for one thing.
David Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch David · Dawn: - I'm doing one tonight. I'm getting quite a bit of money for it. £300. - So i need someone just to carry my bag and organise... - i'm not... - £100 for an hour's work. - £100 for an hour? That is a lot. - 80. - You said 100. - 90. - You said 100. - All right. Get there early, then.
David: Why don't we call him fatty fatty toad boy? At least start on him and then move on...
David Character Comedy Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 51 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Gareth · other character: - That's your... that's an earring. - Whatever. Get over it.
Gareth · other character: - It's bleeding. - Really stings. - Is it an old one that...? - Yeah. I had to push really hard. - They heal over. - It had healed over. So i opened a sore...
Gareth · other character: - what are you looking at? - Nothing.
David · Dawn: - I'm doing one tonight. I'm getting quite a bit of money for it. £300. - So i need someone just to carry my bag and organise... - i'm not... - £100 for an hour's work. - £100 for an hour? That is a lot. - 80. - You said 100. - 90. - You said 100. - All right. Get there early, then.
David: "If it's in you, i'll find it." That's actually what i do. I just point out what you've already got. I'm like a spiritual guide.
David Character Comedy Observational David: The reason i put "If" it's in you is if i waste time and money looking for it and i can see it's not in you, i don't want to be sued because you haven't got it. You're not going to get me on that.
David Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Gareth: I can't believe a bird fancies you over me. He's a weird little bloke. Look at his hair. He looks like a fisher price man. His rubbish clothes.
Gareth Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Gareth: There must be something wrong with you, but i'd still do you, so i'm confused.
Gareth Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Gareth: Hand job? Don't answer. Think about it.
Gareth Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Tim · other character: - Do i look like a fisher price man? - Yeah! Don't say yeah.
Dawn · Simon: - Hi, dawn. - Hi. - Your favourite computer geek is here. - Jesus!
Jim · Simon: - How long will it take? - Why? - Out of interest. - It will take as long as it takes. - How long did it take last time...? - It's done.
Jim Simon Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Simon · Jim: When it comes back on it'll ask you to hit yes, no or cancel. Hit cancel. Do not hit yes or no. - Right. - Did you hear what i said? - Yup. - What did i say? - Hit cancel.
David: It's like bloody "dead poet's society" when they all stand on the tables... i wouldn't want them on the tables - it's against health and safety.
David Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch David: "Are you going to pay me for it?" "Yes. Lots." not why i do it, but thank you.
David Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Gareth: I went down there when it opened. I did a couple of laps, pulled over. The owner said, "no professionals." I said, "i'm not a professional." He said, "you're not a professional? You should be. Take up formula one. You'll be the best in the country." I said, "i'm not interested. I'm making shitloads in computers."
Gareth Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Gareth: I was doing it once, bombing it round and some idiot had left a ramp thing out. People were going, "if that guy hits that ramp at that speed, he's definitely dead." I hit the ramp, turned over in the air. They were going, "he's definitely dead." Landed on my wheels and pulled over.
Gareth Character Comedy Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Neil · David: - I'm tired of this fuzzy thinking. - Chill out. Don't have a cow, mate.
Gareth: Those cats were fast as lightning.
Tim · Gareth: - You said you saw him fight norris in "enter the dragon". He fights bob wall in both, but norris is only in "way of the dragon." - So he's fighting norris... - in what? - "Way of the dragon." - Correct.
Gareth: It's in a book. He faked his own death to work undercover for the hong kong police infiltrating the triads.
Gareth Character Comedy Absurdist Tim: Yeah, because if you wanted to send someone undercover, you'd want the world's most famous chinese film star!
Tim Observational Irony/Sarcasm Lee · Gareth: He's done well there. - What do you mean? - She's tasty. She's nice. - You don't know her. - She's very attractive. She's not very attractive.
David · Gareth: - Say your name. - Leroy. - Who's leroy? - The coloured fellow off "fame". - Use your own name. - Gareth.
Gareth · David: - People are laughing at your heels. - I'm not going to wear those shoes! - And the earring? - They're having a go at that? What else?
Gareth · David: - They've given you a nickname. - The swindon lot? - Everyone's using it. - What is it? - I don't really... - what is it? - Bluto. - The villain from popeye? - 'Cause of the beard? - Because he's... - what's that?
Gareth David Character Comedy Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch David: But if there's one thing i don't like, it's nicknames. Because nicknames are bad... names.
David Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun other character · David: - you used to call malcolm "kojak". - That was affectionate. - He was a great detective. - Maybe "mr toad" is affectionate.
David: body fascism that is. The toad is the ugliest of all the amphibians.
David Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch David: Why don't we call him fatty fatty toad boy? At least start on him and then move on...
David Character Comedy Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch David: He fears my methods because he doesn't understand them. Human nature, but relax.
David · Neil: - It's all up there. - It's not all up there, is it? - Most of it is.
David · Neil: What is "better?" on a graph of people versus task, where does the line go? Where i say.
David · Neil: I'm performing as i want to. It's a good performance. Let's agree to disagree. - No. Let's agree that you agree with me.
David: It's not a date. I'm paying her. What sort of date is that? And £100. what would i get for that? Not that i would. Everything, i imagine. I'm not imagining any of it, but i do know... i'm just...
David Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch David · other speakers: Well, partially decriminalised now anyway, isn't it? At last. - Go for it. - Ok. - Is it skunk? - Just weed. You want a taste? - You sure? - Yeah. I'm on a diet. When i get wasted, i go to munchie-city, so...
David · other speakers: i'm mad enough without the gear as well. I'll take a rain check. Catch you later. - Yeah. - Chill.
David: Get out. Go on. I've opened the door for you. If you're not going to make it, go now. Yeah? Save us all a bit of time. If you don't think you can cut it. No? Good.
David Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort David: "Oi, brent! Is all you care about chasing the yankee dollar?"
David: Foreword by duncan goodhew. So...
David Character Comedy Absurdist David: I'm 39... i'm in my 30s. But so what? At least i've got my health.
David: If you've got one leg, at least you haven't got two legs missing. If you have lost both legs and both arms, just go, "at least i'm not dead!" I'd rather be dead in that situation, to be honest.
David Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch David: I'm not saying people like that should be put down. I'm saying that in my life, i'd rather not live without arms and legs because... i'm just getting into yoga, for one thing.
David Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch David: Let's try that. Who-hoo-hoo. Just... trust me, you'll feel...
David Cringe/Discomfort Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch David: She used to eat chalk.
David Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch David: I am now going to make like a banana and split!
David: # you're better than all the rest # better than anyone listen to her. # Anyone i've ever met come on. Get into it. # I'm stuck on your heart
David Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch David: I'll let you into a little secret - i was worried whether i still had it. I'll let you judge. High five.
David Character Comedy ★ Rewatch David: That was me on a seven. Wait till you see me on a nine or ten!
David Character Comedy ★ Rewatch David: Yeah? Never mind pizza express, what about beer express? "Next stop, drunkenness!"
David · Dawn: The three musketeers! Oh, I can't. What? There's something I've got to do.
⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 13:00-14:00 mostly setup and exposition as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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