The Office is forced into the parking lot for the day when a fire starts in the kitchen. To ease everyone's boredom, Jim suggests a game of "Desert Island" and "Who Would You Do?", where certain staff members reveal a little too much information about themselves. Throughout the day, Michael talks business with Ryan, leaving Dwight feeling left out.
WAR
80.4
Wins Above Replacement
“The Fire” ranks #84 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 88.2 — Elite. The episode packs 67 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Dwight: Dwight: 'I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted.'
Dwight Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's talking head about Katy: 'I forgot what a super-nice girl Katy is. And just good for Jim. They are so cute together. And what an adorable car.'
Pam Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight's talking head: 'Michael and I have a very special connection. He's like Batman, I'm like Robin. He's like the Lone Ranger and I'm like Tonto. And it's not like there was the Lone Ranger and Tonto and Bonto.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight's survival-kit book answer: 'Physician's Desk Reference. Hollowed out. Inside: waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket, and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael's talking head explaining he was first out: 'I've heard women and children first, but we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So, I let them out first, I've a lawsuit on my hands.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Standout Moments
Dwight: Dwight's talking head: 'Michael and I have a very special connection. He's like Batman, I'm like Robin. He's like the Lone Ranger and I'm like Tonto. And it's not like there was the Lone Ranger and Tonto and Bonto.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight: 'I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted.'
Dwight Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's talking head about Katy: 'I forgot what a super-nice girl Katy is. And just good for Jim. They are so cute together. And what an adorable car.'
Pam Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 67 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Pam: Pam's increasingly rambling, self-conscious description of Jim and Katy's relationship in a talking head, ending with 'I'm sorry, I feel like I'm talking really loud. Am I talking really loud?'
Pam Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Jim · Pam: Jim flatly suggests Katy could just call his extension, Pam replies 'Okay' — a loaded non-answer that speaks volumes
Jim Pam Deadpan/Understatement Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Jim: Jim's talking head: 'He hasn't evaluated me in years.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Michael · Ryan: Ryan says he wants to own his own company; Michael responds: 'That is ridiculous.'
Michael: Michael: 'I'm like Mr. Miyagi and Yoda rolled into one.'
Michael: Michael does a Yoda impression: 'Much advice you seek.'
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Michael: Rule number one of business: 'You need to play to win, but you also have to win to play.'
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ryan: Ryan's reaction: 'Got it.' — after the circular rule-one wisdom
Ryan Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Michael: 'Do you wanna die? Out!' and 'Stanley, have you ever seen a burn victim? Move to the exits.'
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Michael · Kelly: Michael grabs Kelly, tells her to remove her stockings because 'they'll melt right into your flesh,' and instructs her to breathe through her nose while she struggles to get away from him
Michael: Michael's talking head explaining he was first out: 'I've heard women and children first, but we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So, I let them out first, I've a lawsuit on my hands.'
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: Rule number two: 'Adapt. React. Readapt. Apt.'
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Ryan: Ryan's reaction to 'Adapt, react, readapt, apt' — asking Michael to take it slower
Ryan Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Michael · Ryan · Dwight: The count-off: Michael insists he is number one, refuses to let Ryan be number two, assigns him 'number 14' because 'Marjorie's not here today'
Michael · Dwight: Michael proposes 'Three Musketeers' then 'Three Stooges' for himself, Dwight, and Ryan
Ryan: Ryan: 'I don't wanna be, like, a guy here, you know? Like, Stanley is the crossword-puzzle guy and Angela has cats. I don't wanna have a thing here.'
Ryan Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Angela: Angela's desert island books: The Bible, A Purpose Driven Life, and then refusing a third book ('No.')
Angela Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Michael: Michael: 'I would take The Da Vinci Code so I could burn The Da Vinci Code.' Then: 'That's gonna keep you warm for, like, seven seconds.'
Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Dwight: Dwight's survival-kit book answer: 'Physician's Desk Reference. Hollowed out. Inside: waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket, and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.'
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dwight: Dwight: 'Question, did my shoes come off in the plane crash?'
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Michael's Rule #4: 'In business, image is everything. Andre Agassi.' — spoken while apparently admiring Ryan's car
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy Callback Michael · Meredith: Michael mocking Meredith's movie choices (Legends of the Fall, Bridges of Madison County, Legally Blonde): 'Wow. Wow. Legally Blonde. These movies are just...' and 'Unforgivable.'
Meredith: Meredith: 'And Ghost. But just that one scene.'
Meredith Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael spots Ryan's test-prep book in the car and calls it 'Stanley Kaplan,' greeting it like a person: 'Hello, Mr. Egghead. Oh, Stanley Kaplan. I know him.'
Michael: Michael's talking head: 'When I was Ryan's age, I worked in a fast food restaurant to save money for school. And then I lost it in a pyramid scheme, but I learned more about business right then and there than business school would ever teach me or Ryan would ever teach me.'
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Michael · Ryan: Michael vs. Ryan: business school quiz. Michael confidently answers 'equal' to whether it's cheaper to acquire or retain a customer. Ryan: 'It is 10 times more expensive to sign a new customer.'
Michael: Michael's response to the business quiz question: 'Keep an existing cust— Shut it.'
Michael Character Comedy Reaction Beat Michael: Michael defends himself by citing NBA players who skipped college: 'You know who else didn't go to business school? LeBron James, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant. They went right from high school to the NBA.'
Jim: Jim's camera look / talking head reaction: 'So, it's not the same thing at all.'
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Michael · Ryan: Michael reacts to Ryan explaining 'market fragments': 'You are so smart. You are so effing smart. You should be teaching me.'
Jim · Pam: Jim's desert island movies: 'Fargo, Edward Scissorhands, Dazed and Confused... Breakfast Club... The Princess Bride.' Then: 'Yes, in my top three, so suck it.'
Jim Pam Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jim · Michael: Jim lists The Princess Bride as his all-time favorite movie but gets cut off by Michael for going over five
Dwight: Dwight's desert island movie answer: 'The Crow.'
Dwight Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael's talking head about being promoted young and how co-workers 'look at you differently' — followed by an uncomfortable silence/pause
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael: Michael: 'I'm really uncomfortable.' — during his own talking head
Michael Meta/Self-Referential Cringe/Discomfort Pam · Michael: Pam's visible discomfort when Michael calls on her first for 'Who would you do?' — and her flustered attempt to have him explain the rules before answering
Dwight · Jim: Dwight's barely verbal response to Jim calling his name — 'Come on, Dwight, use words'
Jim · Dwight: Jim suggests Dwight quit: 'Then Ryan wins.' Dwight: 'Yeah, you're right.' — treating workplace dynamics as a literal competition
Roy: Roy says he plays 'Who would you do?' at home 'while I'm falling asleep' — implying he does it alone, suggesting his relationship with Pam is sexless
Roy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Roy · Angela: Roy's answer to 'Who would you do?': 'Oh, I got it. What's the name of that tight-ass Christian chick. The blonde?' — Angela responds: 'My name is Angela.'
Roy Angela Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim: Jim's answer to 'Who would you do?': 'Kevin, hands down. Yeah, I mean he's really got that teddy bear thing going on and afterwards we could just watch bowling.'
Jim Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim · Kevin: Jim's 'Who would you do' answer: 'Kevin, hands down. Yeah, I mean he's really got that teddy bear thing going on, and afterwards we could just watch bowling.'
Jim Kevin Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael: 'Well, I would definitely have sex with Ryan, because he is gonna own his own business.'
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Roy: Roy: 'You're all gay.'
Roy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Roy: Roy: 'You're all gay.' [After Jim picks Kevin and Michael picks Ryan]
Roy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Dwight: Dwight goes back into the burning building to retrieve Pam's cell phone
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist Jim · Michael: Jim: 'What if he dies in the fire, and that's the last thing you ever said to him?' Michael: 'I didn't say it to him. I said it about him.'
Jim Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pam · Michael: Pam: 'What if he dies in the fire, and that's the last thing you ever said to him?' Michael: 'I didn't say it to him. I said it about him.'
Pam Michael Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's talking head: 'Jim? Definitely Jim. Definitely, definitely Jim.'
Pam Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Pam: Pam's public 'Who would you do?' answer: 'Oscar's kind of cute... Ooh, Toby.' — conspicuously not Jim
Pam Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Toby: Toby's talking head/line: 'How long does it take to find a cell phone? / I don't know either. / Is there anybody else?'
Toby Deadpan/Understatement Awkward Silence Jim · Katy: Jim asks Katy for her number, then pretends he doesn't have it — she has to give it again while he clearly had it all along
Jim Katy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: Michael's announcement about the fire cause: 'Apparently, in business school, they don't teach you how to operate a toaster oven, because some smart, sexy temp left his cheese pita on 'oven' instead of timing it for the toaster thing.'
Michael Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Michael · Dwight: Michael repeats the exact punchline: 'Well, I guess they don't teach how to operate a toaster oven in business school.' Then Dwight confirms: 'That's exactly what I said.'
Dwight · Jim · Pam · Michael: The office collectively piles on Ryan: 'Toaster Oven 101. You failed?' / 'I'm so sorry.' / 'Hey, I know what'll impress everybody. I'll start a fire.' / 'Bad idea jeans.'
Michael: Michael sings 'We Didn't Start the Fire' with Ryan's name substituted: 'Ryan started the fire! It was always burning since the world's been turning!'
Michael Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Ryan: Ryan's talking head response: 'I can't believe I started the fire.'
Ryan Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Katy: Katy's desert island movie answer opens with 'Legally Blonde' — the same movie Michael called 'Unforgivable'
Katy Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Katy: Katy's first desert island movie: 'Legally Blonde.' [The group's reaction]
Katy Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Jim · Katy: The crowd has dispersed — Katy gives her answers to an empty group: 'Okay, I think the game's over. People are, like, leaving.' / 'There was a bigger crowd last time.'
Jim Katy Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Pam · Jim · Katy: Jim and Katy leave together while Pam watches; the group coos 'They are so cute.' Cut to Pam's face.
Pam Jim Katy Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: Dwight interrogates Ryan after the fire: 'Was it worth it? Was it worth it, temp? No. Was it worth it? Really?'
Dwight Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Final Michael talking head: 'Oh, look, Ryan is book smart, and I am street smart and book smart. I'll give you the rest of the 10 tomorrow.'
Michael Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Michael's Rule #5: 'Safety first, i.e., don't burn the building down. Okay? That should be a no-brainer.' — followed by: 'Oh, look, Ryan is book smart, and I am street smart and book smart.'
Michael Character Comedy Callback Callback Top Episodes — The Office
