The Meeting

Michael · Oscar:Michael asks Oscar about colonoscopy sensations and whether to have a safe word

Oscar · Michael:Oscar's horrified 'Oh, my God!' reaction beat — then asks about a safe word

Michael · David Wallace:Michael offers to send Buffalo client rundown by 'Sunday night' so David Wallace gets it 'Wednesday'

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'We are the three amigos. And once in a while, one of the amigos will go off to the bathroom, while the other two have a secret meeting.'

Pam · Michael:Pam denies saying 'good luck' to Jim as he entered the meeting. Michael: 'Did I? Doesn't sound like me. Not very superstitious.'

Michael · Pam:Michael: 'If you're lying to me right now, Pam, your baby is gonna come out a liar. That's how it works. They inherit things through the breast milk.'

Pam:Pam: 'Please don't talk about my breast milk.'

Dwight:Dwight confronts Darryl about his ladder injury: 'I didn't know we were in Communist Sweden.'

Michael · Angela:Michael: 'He's lying. He has a doctor's note.' Angela: 'From who? Dr. J?'

Michael:Michael's Darryl impression: 'Y'all having birthday cake?'

Dwight:Dwight's talking head: 'I am a fan of the hardboiled detective novel. "I'll punch you into mush, see?"'

Michael:Michael walks into the private meeting mid-phone call, then announces to the caller: 'You tell the mayor he just lost six votes.'

Creed · Kevin:Creed/Kevin exchange: 'They've been in there a while.' 'Yeah. Can't be good.' 'Think they're talking about me?' 'No, I think they're talking about me.' 'Yeah. That makes way more sense.'

Michael:Michael's talking head: '...it has been chaotic lately... I had to come in on a Saturday to retrieve... I left my cell phone here.'

Michael · Kelly:Michael to Kelly: 'So jealous of your boobs.'

Kelly:Kelly's response: 'Thank you.'

Pam:Pam's talking head: 'We realized most people wouldn't be able to make the drive to Niagara Falls. Which is why we're having it in Niagara Falls.'

Michael:Michael gives employees Friday AND Monday off for the wedding, forcing them to choose between attending or working.

Andy · Michael:Andy's sales are down because of 'a weird, flirty, nebulous thing with this cousin of mine.'

Andy · Michael:Andy shows Michael a suspicious email from his cousin: 'Hey, Andy, let's go visit Grandma and then get drunk together. Ha, ha.'

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'That is why I am having Andy wheel me into the conference room inside a makeshift cheese cart. It is just elegant.'

Michael · Andy:The cheese cart arrives at the conference room. Michael inside — 'Just backing up and turning around.'

Michael · Andy:The physical execution of the cheese cart scheme — Andy wheeling Michael in, the cart crashing or bumping, Michael trying to stay hidden

Michael:Michael presents the cheeses with an elaborate, pretentious tasting-menu narration — 'From the Wisconsin region, a nice, firm cheddar'

Michael:Michael: 'It's a lot of fun to let the goldfish take a little swim in the blue cheese.'

David Wallace:David Wallace: 'All right, well, I should go. Thanks for this... You've given me a lot to think about.'

Dwight · Toby:Dwight and Toby bond over trains, then Dwight casually mentions he's rebuilding a steam engine 'in my slaughterhouse.'

Toby:Toby: 'Well, you know, because of the trains.' — After Dwight has moved past the slaughterhouse detail

Dwight · Toby:Dwight spots Darryl walking without crutches: 'It's Darryl! Get down! He's not using crutches! Get the camera. Start taping. Drive!'

Dwight:Dwight yells at Darryl's sister: 'Hey, you ass! ...You gonna eat all that dog food yourself?'

Ryan:Ryan: 'I once had a glass of Cognac that cost $77, so...' [implying $75/person for a wedding is fine]

Ryan · Pam · Kelly:Ryan commits: 'Yes. I'm coming to your wedding.' / 'Okay. Ryan Howard, yes.' / 'Probably yes.' / 'Kelly Kapoor, yes.'

Michael:Michael's talking head: 'My greatest talent is being the best man, woman, or child to have ever run this branch. Ever.'

Michael:Michael: 'If I was going to put someone in charge, I would put Bert in charge. Or I would put one of the real grownups in charge, like Maria. Or Gordon, maybe.'

Michael:Michael reads Toby's performance review of Jim: 'Constant office distraction. Spends way too much time at reception. Antagonizes other salesmen. Not at all what he thinks he is.'

Michael:Michael: 'It's not very well written. But you get the gist.'

Michael:Michael: 'Well, I'd have to talk to my mother and my guy at H&R Block.'

Jim:Jim's talking head: Michael 'handed out Jell-O shots at the 23rd mile of the Steamtown Marathon.'

Michael:Michael: 'Well, we did talk about how handsome you are.'

Michael:Michael: 'Did you know that Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy?'

Jim:Jim's talking head: 'I tried to keep Michael in the dark. I should have known that he can do just as much damage in the dark.'

Dwight:Dwight: 'I need to see your pupils. I have to see if they're dilating...'

Darryl · Dwight · Toby:Darryl confronts Dwight and Toby: 'You come to my house, bust up my trash cans, call my baby sister an ass and told her to eat dog food?'

Dwight:Dwight: 'Because you look exactly alike.' — justifying why he thought Darryl's sister was Darryl

Michael:Michael on the phone with Wallace: 'Absolutely not! Like I said before, Jim is fantastic and he deserves this job.' — contradicting what he told Wallace earlier

Michael:Michael: 'That file had been falsified. Toby Flenderson is doing drugs.'

Michael:Michael: 'Oh, damn it! I am getting pulled over for talking on my cell. Damn it!'

Dwight:Dwight: 'Then why is there new wood only on one railing?' — cracking the case

Dwight:Dwight: 'Yes!' celebration after Darryl admits to lying, then immediately: 'Now, I would like to file an official complaint to corporate because Darryl lied on an official form.'

Darryl · Dwight:Darryl: 'And I'm telling them you guys sexually harassed my sister.' Dwight: 'No judge is gonna believe that.'

Toby:Toby's talking head: 'So, Dwight and Darryl came to an agreement that they would both file complaints with corporate, and now I get to do all this paperwork.'

Michael · Jim:Michael: 'Hey, hey, Jim. It would make me feel really good right now if you would just punch me in the face, all right? Just do it.'

Michael · David Wallace:Michael's confusion/resistance to 'co-manager': 'See, there are a lot of moving pieces and this is the only way I can sell it upstairs.' / 'Well, that might be a little confusing for people because they know me as manager.'

Michael:Michael's announcement: 'Co-manager of what?' / 'Of your butt! And your butt, and your butt, and your butt. All of Scranton branch butts.'

Michael · Jim:Michael: 'What's happening to you, Michael?' — Jim asks this; Michael: 'What's happening to me? I am also being promoted to co-manager.'

Michael · Jim:Michael: 'Jim Halpert, welcome.' Jim: 'Thank you.' — Overly formal handshake/welcome to a position in the same office

Ryan · Pam:Ryan: 'Niagara Falls in October? Hells yeah!' — then refuses to fill out an RSVP card

Ryan:Ryan: 'I'll just have whatever's fanciest, unless there's ribs' and will text directions 'the day of.'

Pam:Pam: 'You are going to text me the morning of my wedding to ask for directions?'

Pam:Pam's confessional: 'Rude.' — followed by to camera, 'So rude, right?'

Pam:Pam: 'I have been chasing people down all day. It's incredible.'