Moving On

Andy · David Wallace:Andy's elaborate defense of his lies about being in the office while sailing, claiming Oscar says hi 'all the time' in multiple languages

Andy · David Wallace:Andy lamenting missing his beard like 'a security blanket' after his breakup

Andy · David Wallace:Andy's butchered Bon Jovi reference: 'That's a poem by J.B. Jovi'

Andy:Andy's confessional: 'Vanilla Ice. He was a band.'

Andy:Andy breaks down crying mid-greeting to camera

Andy:Andy's talking head becomes increasingly emotional with multiple takes

Dwight:Dwight: 'He sounds like a wounded animal. Should have put him out of his misery and just fired him.'

Dwight:Dwight: 'I can't be around sad people. It makes me sad. I'm the same way with horny people.'

Erin:Erin: 'I mean, I saw Pete's butt. It's sick.'

Pam:Pam: 'It's with a real estate company, which is a great fit for me, because I live in a house and I know what a bathroom is.'

Pam:Pam: 'my resume can fit on a post-it note'

Dwight · Angela:Dwight's dramatic entrance interrupting Angela with 'I need you'

Dwight:Dwight's aunt Shirley description: 'her hair, her clothes, it's all falling off in great, big clumps'

Dwight:Dwight: 'We had a nurse, but she quit, because she was "poisoned" by aunt Shirley.'

Dwight:Dwight: 'Or lemonade and strychnine, which is actually what it was.'

Dwight · Angela:Dwight's description of aunt Shirley's 'prehensile wing' body part

Clark:Clark: 'Not on a three-month boat trip. Oh, burn.'

Andy · Jim:Andy and Jim's passive-aggressive sweater exchange

Andy:Andy coining nicknames: 'Nard Dog, Plop, and Clarker Posey, A.K.A. Clarkwork Orange'

Clark:Clark's sad bachelor confession: 'Last night I ordered a pizza by myself, and I ate it over the sink like a rat.'

Aunt Shirley:Aunt Shirley: 'Who's this little kitchen witch? She's so tiny, like a little kitchen witch.'

Aunt Shirley · Angela:Aunt Shirley: 'How would you like a mean, cold slap?' followed by actually slapping Angela

Andy:Andy gathering the men: 'Darryl, Clark, Kevin, Toby, plop, take a knee.'

Pete:Pete's realization: 'It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me plop for so long he forgot my real name. Which is Pete.'

Jim:Jim's bluetooth headset: 'I know where you're going with this, and this is who I am now. I'm a douche.'

Andy · Pete:Andy's chlamydia lie: 'I just got off the phone with my doctor, and turns out I contracted ch-lamydia from Erin. And it's incurable.'

Andy:Andy's improvised firing song: '♪ So you had a bad day / ♪ You're a big idiot, get out of my office ♪'

Andy:Andy reading relationship contract: 'Every phrase is like a dagger in my crotch.'

Mark:Mark's Django reference: 'I'm the horrible boss around here, but please don't hire Jamie Foxx to kill me.'

Mark:Mark's uncomfortable racism comment: 'I don't agree with the use of the n-word in that movie. It's too soon.'

Mark:Mark's forced office enthusiasm: 'They call me Marky Mark around here, because here at Simon realty we are one funky bunch.'

Pam:Pam's realization: 'Oh, my God. He's Michael Scott.'

Angela:Angela taking charge of Aunt Shirley care: 'I'm gonna give your aunt a proper bath and a haircut like a lady.'

Nellie · Toby:Nellie's Scranton Strangler advice: 'Do something about it. Get it out of your system, whatever it takes.'

Mark · Roger:Mark's failed 'chillax' command and Roger's defiant response

Mark:Mark's accent attempts: '[Brooklyn accent] cawfee talk' and 'Like buttah'

Andy:Andy's Juliet comparison: 'I feel like the guy Juliet dated before Romeo. Probably her boss.'

Kevin · Andy:Kevin's booger observation and Andy's response: 'My whole life is a booger bubble.'

Mark · Pam:Mark reading Pam's upside-down resume and his gibberish reaction

Mark:Mark's existential crisis: 'I mean, they worship me, you know, but do they like me?'

Mark:Mark's Bob Dylan impression during job interview

Andy:Andy's crude translation: 'the ol' one-two punch to my scrotum pole, translation--penis, translation--my manhood'

Mark:Mark's pregnancy policy: 'The last three girls here all got pregnant... It's a different chair.'

Mark:Mark's receptionist explanation: 'Like a receptionist, but we call you the office manager, because it's less demeaning.'

Pam:Pam's final decision: 'I spent ten years as a receptionist to Michael Scott. And I have kids now. And I just-- I can't.'

Toby:Toby's Bogart impression: '[As Bogart] I think this is the start of my first friendship.'

Gabe · Alice:Gabe's weight description: 'Feel how fat my buttocks are... It's like a warm pumpkin.'

Toby · Nellie:Toby's strangling aftermath and Nellie's commentary about 'the proud neck of justice'

Aunt Shirley:Aunt Shirley's scarecrow wisdom: 'That's what Mose said about his lady scarecrow, and look what he did to that poor thing.'

Jim:Jim's consolation champagne: 'It's from the part of France that immediately gave up to the Nazis.'

Dwight · Angela:Dwight's life proposal: 'The 80 or 90 years that I have left of this life... I want to spend with you.'

Gabe:Gabe's button-down confession: 'I still wear Erin's button-downs around the condo sometimes, so it feels to me like we're still in a relationship'

Gabe:Gabe's love confession story: 'She'd plug her ears and scream her heart out.'

Gabe · Pete:Gabe's KKK music question: 'So you like songs of hate written by the white knights of ku klux klan?'

Gabe:Gabe's smooth porpoise line: 'I am as smooth as a porpoise for you.'

Pam · Jim:Jim's Odd Life of Timothy Green poster detail and Pam's reaction

Clark:Clark's workout philosophy: 'My trainer said, "everybody fails working out." That's how you win.'

Clark · Kevin · Others:Clark stuck upside-down asking for help while everyone ignores him